With the entry to sub-orbital flight, and even orbital flight, becoming ever so slightly easier, the obvious thought of space porn kicks in. Who wouldn't want to see two or more people going at it like rabbits in a weightless environment (or at least trying to go at it like rabbits in a weightless environment)? Sadly, Virgin Galactic
has turned down a $1 million offer to do just that. The offer was made by an unidentified party who was willing to put the money up front to do a space porn movie. Considering that a flight aboard VG costs $200,000 for a two-hour flight, $1 million doesn't seem too bad. Though how much you could actually do and perform in two hours is debatable. And what if one or more of the actors gets sick?
Still waiting for... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Still waiting for... (Score:5, Funny)
It was gross enough when it was just a tiny little cup. If you expect two girls to fill a whole spaceship, those are going to be some big girls.
Re:Still waiting for... (Score:5, Funny)
Considering what you are talking about, I don't think you are being NEARLY vague enough. Somebody might actually figure out what you are talking about.
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
What's your problem? I *love* peanut butter and Nutella. And chocolate pudding too.
Re:Still waiting for... (Score:5, Interesting)
You know, I didn't think anybody remembered "Two Girls Two Catamarans"
(And in case you didn't, it's about a maverick sailboat designer who builds a cat and duly sails it across an ocean with the 2 girls - actually I think he did it twice, with 2 different boats. Not sure if it was 2 girls each time or not. Anyway, This was James Wharram in the 1950s, before sailing carts were even believed in at all [obviously the Micronesians didn't count. Obviously]. He went on to have a happy life building and designing cheap sailing catamarans with his partner. Their plans always had (have) sweet drawing of naked girls sitting about on said cats. And he is still at it).
The book is out of print, sadly, See Wharram (http://wharram.com/sales/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=11&products_id=73)
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
"There is some evidence that NASA et al has had astronauts have sex in space, all in the name of science, of course--so I think exoatmospheric porn has already been made."
Sources, please. I have suspicions, but it is just a guess. When I saw the list of shuttle astronauts with pictures from an internal NASA news letter in the early 1980's I circled one picture. http://space.about.com/cs/deceasedastronaut/a/judithresnik.htm [about.com]
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
I distinctly remember news back in the mid-eighties about NASA sending a married couple into orbit, as part of a Shuttle crew. Needless to say, speculation ran rampant about sexy experiments in space, newscasters displaying a deadpan nod-nod-wink-wink attitude towards the whole thing. However, NASA being what it is, mentioned nothing about the topic in press releases either before nor after.
So all we have to show for anything is the end scene from Moonraker, with Bond and Dr Goodhead (yet another classic
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
the money shots would be pretty cool: bukkake from across the room
Is it just me, or haven't we all dreamed of wanking off so hard the cum hits the ceiling?...
Re:Still waiting for... (Score:4, Funny)
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
What else can you film in only 6 minutes? (Score:4, Informative)
Gah (Score:4, Funny)
There was a time when sex was interesting. Now it's just boring.
Re:Gah (Score:5, Funny)
You are obviously not doing right.
RTFM, dude!
Re:Gah (Score:5, Funny)
You mean RTFFM.
Re:Gah (Score:5, Funny)
That man page vanished sometime in the mid nineties.
Re:Gah (Score:5, Funny)
It's not boring, it's drilling! :)
Re:Gah (Score:5, Funny)
There was a time when sex was interesting. Now it's just boring.
Ya, well, that's marriage for you.
I know why they turned it down (Score:4, Funny)
Think of the mess that a facial would make in zero-G environments...the whole ship would be all sticky.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
0_o
+3 Interesting? I gotta find a new crowd.
New Title (Score:5, Funny)
Zero-G-Spot
Re:New Title (Score:5, Funny)
Sometimes Virgin just isn't interested in sex.
re-write (Score:5, Funny)
>And what if one or more of the actors gets sick?
This is porn, right? You could write that into the script!
Re:re-write (Score:5, Funny)
heh heh - you called them actors.
Re:re-write (Score:5, Funny)
C'mon, you can do better than that, there's countless possibilities out there.
- Houston, We Have Rear Entry
- Apollo 69
- The 100 Mile-High Club
- Suborbital Gangbang MILFs
- In Space, No One Can Hear You Cum
- Lagrange Point Latinas
Shit, these things are a dime a dozen, how about some classics:
- Talk Dirty To Me (In A Chuck Yeager Monotone)
- Debbie Does Clavius
Duh (Score:5, Funny)
Virgin Galactic would have to change it's name!
Re:Duh (Score:5, Funny)
Damnit, we already made up the title for it! (Score:3, Funny)
New tag (Score:5, Funny)
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
Bah (Score:5, Interesting)
They can make weightless porn in a parabolic flight (the vomit comet) in front of a green screen. After that, adding a space background is piece of cake. Much cheaper than $1,000,000. Shit, have I just disclosed the best business plan on earth.
I'd turn it down too... (Score:5, Insightful)
The concept is just plain gross, and not because it's a porno. It's due to the fact that you'd literally have bodily fluids being ejected from the human body without the physical constraints we have here on earth. That means the entire interior of the craft this is was filmed in would like resemble a Jackson pollock painting under one of those black lights they use in sensationalist news reports about how gross motel rooms are.
"I can feel them moving!" - Peter Griffin
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Already been done... sorry (Score:5, Informative)
http://www.space.com/sciencefiction/movies/uranus_experiment_000516.html
Surprise surprise, the title is 'The Uranus Experiment'.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
A while back, Penn Gillette wrote about his charter flight on a vomit comet. His was the second charter, right after the filming of "The Uranus Experiment," which he mentioned in the article.
Oh Sweet Zombie Jesus!! Talk about sloppy seconds!!
Two Points (Score:3, Funny)
2 hours isn't a problem. Porn movies aren't really known for their epic length. Well, not in minutes, anyway.
And so what if some actors get sick? You just make a different movie. There's an audience for everything (disturbingly)!
Not surprising (Score:5, Insightful)
First, the flight may be two hours, but the weightless period isn't -- it's under ten minutes, maybe more like 5 (I haven't looked at their numbers recently). Also note that it's $200k on an 8-seat (6 passengers) craft -- so the normal fee for the whole craft would be $1.2M. He's offered less than the nominal price, for what is certainly a lot of extra work by Virgin and may have adverse effects on their publicity (or maybe positive, but I'm not the one making that judgement).
Also, we don't yet know whether they'll be requiring pressure suits. The craft has a double pressure hull, but that still means there are common mode failures possible. Originally Rutan said the double hull meant no pressure suits, but that was at a time when it wasn't clear that affordable pressure suits existed. As companies like Orbital Outfitters have begun to show that they can supply rental suits at reasonable prices (a few $k per person per flight -- custom tailoring included), Rutan has talked about maybe using pressure suits. Last I heard, the issue wasn't fully decided yet. If they do use pressure suits, they may be reluctant to allow unsuited passengers even at a price premium. (Note that the suit would be worn unpressurized with the visor up as long as cabin pressure held. I've seen the suits, and while they're not as lightweight as a t-shirt, they aren't bad either. We're not talking about Apollo-type space suits or anything.)
Then there's the regulatory headache. The craft will be an experimental aircraft, not a certificated one, and the tourists will be spaceflight participants, not passengers. The distinction may be semantic, but it's a very important one. Flying for commercial purposes rather than tourism may make it more difficult to get FAA/AST approval for the flight. If so, that would be a deal breaker regardless of any other concerns.
I've interned with XCOR Aerospace (a competitor of Scaled's); while none of this should be taken as official XCOR policy, I would be surprised if Scaled, XCOR, or anyone else was willing to do this any time soon. The headaches in safety, regulation, PR, and logistics are just too large, especially with no financial incentive. (Note that this would be difficult in XCOR's Lynx, as there's only one passenger and they don't get to remove their seatbelt.)
All of that said... I think it's wonderful to see this much interest in commercial spaceflight. I'd also love to see some space porn, if only to laugh my ass off at the awkwardness. I'm sure they'll find a way to do it eventually, and I hope it's sooner rather than later.
May not be possible (Score:4, Informative)
From tfa [wired.com]
There are no dead man's sticks in space. And no matter how stressed anyone gets, they can't even enjoy a little release by manipulating their own joystick: One of the effects of weightlessness is reduced blood flow to the lower half of your body. The rumor in Star City is that many have tried in vain to get it up out there. "There vas top-secret program of this," Driga says. "But the man could not perform. Viagra vill not help."
So it may not be possible to perform in zero g, not enough blood flow to the lower extremities.
hmmm (Score:3, Informative)
I seem to remember reading somewhere that it's extremely difficult (if not impossible) to get an erection during prolonged space flight.
MSNBC did a report on this subject back in 2006 (Score:5, Interesting)
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14002908/ [msn.com]
My favorite quote from TFA
Woodmansee said sex would be "the killer app of space tourism ... because every couple who goes up there, or threesome or whatever their personal choice is, is going to want to try this."
TFA :
Outer-space sex carries complications
... because every couple who goes up there, or threesome or whatever their personal choice is, is going to want to try this."
Experts say new devices and data would be needed to hit the zero-G-spot
By Alan Boyle
Science editor
updated 4:38 p.m. ET, Mon., July. 24, 2006
LAS VEGAS - Having sex in the weightlessness of outer space is the stuff of urban legends and romantic fantasy â" but experts say that there would be definite downsides as well.
Spacesickness, for instance. And the difficulty of choreographing intimacy. And the potential for sweat and other bodily fluids to, um, get in the way.
"The fantasy might be vastly superior to the reality," NASA physician Jim Logan said here Sunday at the Space Frontier Foundation's NewSpace 2006 conference. Nevertheless, Logan and others say the study of sex and other biological basics in outer space will be crucial to humanity's long-term push into the final frontier.
"Sex in space is not just a good idea, it's survival," said Vanna Bonta, a writer who blends romance with space travel and quantum physics in the novel "Flight."
Sex in the space environment has long been a source of rumor and speculation: Several years ago, one author claimed that NASA had conducted a study of sexual behavior during a space shuttle mission, sparking a quick round of denials. Today, NASA follows something of a "don't ask, don't tell" policy on the subject â" leading Logan to stress that he was not representing the space agency at Sunday's panel discussion.
The subject is coming to the fore again now for several reasons â" including next month's publication of a book by Laura Woodmansee titled "Sex in Space," as well as billionaire Robert Bigelow's plan to host research into animal propagation on his commercial space modules.
After all, sometime in the next decade Bigelow Aerospace envisions putting a hotel complex in orbit, "where people will probably be recreating and having sex," Bonta said.
Woodmansee said sex would be "the killer app of space tourism
However, off-Earth romantics will have to cope with some practical challenges:
# Sex in space would likely be "hotter and wetter" than on Earth, Bonta said, because in zero-G there is no natural convection to carry away body heat. Also, scientists have found that people tend to perspire more in microgravity. The moisture associated with sexual congress could pool as floating droplets.
# The physics of zero-G make the mechanics of sex more complicated. Bonta said it was challenging even to kiss her husband during a zero-G simulation flight they took recently. "You actually have to struggle to connect and stay connected," she recalled. Partners would have to be anchored to the wall and/or to each other. To address that need, Bonta has come up with her own design for garments equipped with strategically placed Velcro strips and zippers.
# Although zero-G could be a boon for saggy body parts, Bonta said males might notice a "slight decrease" in penis size due to the lower blood pressure that humans experience in microgravity.
# Romantics will also need to guard against the type of motion sickness that space travelers often encounter, especially if they get too adventurous right off. "Save the acrobatics for post-play vs. foreplay," Bonta advised.
For all these reasons, Logan said spontaneous sex in space could be "a little underwhelming."
"It's a pretty messy environment, when you think about it," he said. "And for every
Of course Virgin Galactic turned them down (Score:3, Funny)
Needs New Scripts? (Score:3, Funny)
The *knock* *knock* : "Pizza Man!" meme won't work any more.
$1 million not enough (Score:3, Interesting)
I think the real problem is that the money is too small for this sort of thing. Basically, they're going to take over a flight, it's going to require special gear, and such a film would probably be very popular.
Now, if that film maker were offering say, 10 million (or more), that might be enough to make it worthwhile for Virgin Galactic.
640microseconds is enough (Score:3, Funny)
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Uh... where on earth is there zero gravity... on earth? Underwater is apperantly hazardous to women's heath. In one of those skydiving simulators could be interesting, albeit noisy, and getting chapped would be a concern for me anyway. While actually skydiving has definitely been done.
Anyway, duh: SPACE: the final frontier! To boldly go where no man has gone before!
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
To boldly come where no man has come before
There, fixed that for you
Re:Trying to avoid funny remarks... (Score:5, Informative)
It's been done :
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0310288/ [imdb.com]
"Nick Lang and Silvia Saint's sex scene was filmed in free-fall aboard NASA's "vomit comet", in order to simulate zero-gravity."
Re:Space Porn Bloopers (Score:4, Funny)
Not to mention afterwards for the guy... does it just STAY up?
Re:Space Porn Bloopers (Score:4, Funny)
well the average slashdotter is probably in with a chance then...
to boldly come (Score:5, Funny)
/obvious