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Which Way to the Donuts? 8

Posted by samzenpus
It's early evening. You've just finished a large double cheese, pepperoni and sausage pizza and washed it down with a 2 liter of Mountain Dew. The tingling in your arm a reminder that it will take much more than an astounding 10,000 calorie dump to defeat your body and fuel it through the next 5 hours of Warcraft raiding. Too full of sauce, spiced meats and sugar to move, you manage to turn your head and look at the meager half bag of Doritos, in your clogged heart of hearts you know that this is not enough. You need more. You need donuts. How are you going to find them? Call someone? Don't be ridiculous you haven't talked to a real person in months. Search for donuts on Google? Do you have any idea how many hits you'd get? (actually you do, it's around 13,300,000.) Tired, frustrated and not completely stuffed you let the dream of donuts slip through your greasy fingers once again. We've all been there but now there is a solution. Someone has finally made a Krispy Kreme finder with a clock that determines if the store is open. Simply type in your zip code, rub on some sun block to protect your pale skin, put on pants and follow the directions.
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Which Way to the Donuts?

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IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way. -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

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