Ultrasound Machine Ages Wine

Inventor Casey Jones says his creation uses ultrasound technology to recreate the effects of decades of aging by colliding alcohol molecules inside the bottle. Mr. Jones said, "This machine can take your run-of-the-mill £3.99 bottle of plonk and turn it into a finest bottle of vintage tasting like it costs hundreds. It works on any alcohol that tastes better aged, even a bottle of paintstripper whisky can taste like an 8-year-aged single malt." The Ultrasonic Wine Ager, which looks like a Dr. Who ice bucket, takes 30 minutes to work and has already been given the thumbs up by an English winemaker. I know a certain special lady who is about to have the best bottle of Boone's Farm in the world.

Re:Oh Fun!

[TinFoilMan]

It'll be OLD mad dog and it won't be 20/20 anymore, more like 20/200

Re:Whiskey?

[pete-classic]

It's an ultrasonic wallet-opener.

-Peter

Yeah but...

[Entropy98]

Can it make regular snake oil taste like 30 year old snake oil?
--
  Blackshot [blackshotfps.com]

I know a certain special lady

[Anonymous Coward]

I know a certain special lady who is about to have the best bottle of Boone's Farm in the world.

Only after she finishes the debate tonight.

As a bonus, it ages snake oil too...

[nweaver]

As an extra special bonus, it acts to rapidly age cheap snake-oil from the rancid dead rattler-junk it started out as to something equivelent to the finest age tawny boa extract.

Re:Whiskey?

[camperdave]

Sure you can. Just ask Herb Tarlek. All you need is a funnel and an empty bottle of 40 year old scotch.

Re:Yeah but...

[Fred_A]

I call shenanigans, the machine isn't even pyramid shaped !

Re:English winemaker?

[fiannaFailMan]

When it gets the nod of a French winemaker or a vintner from California I'll be a little more intrigued.

Global warming will probably give English winemakers some credibility in years to come. (No 'funny' mod points please, I'm being serious.)

Even with the can sealed?

[NotQuiteReal]

Sonication is an effective technique for degassing liquids Where would it go in a sealed can?

Re:Even with the can sealed?

[Entropy98]

Boom?
--
  Blackshot [blackshotfps.com]

Re:At least one physically impossible bogus claim

[canajin56]

He may be full of shit, but 30 minutes in his miracle machine will make his cheap claim as persuasive as a well aged, high-end claim, by using ultrasonic waves to collide the bullshit nano-molecules.

Re:Whiskey?

[doti]

Like Earth is mostly harmless?

Re:Ultrasonic waves are the new magnets

[suggsjc]

If this thing actually works as advertised I'll eat my hat.

While you are going on the record, I think I should add in the qualifier that you can't use said device to age your hat so that it tastes like an older more expensive hat.

Re:Whiskey?

[ExploHD]

"...it's like being drunk."
"What's so bad about that?"
"You ask a glass of water."

Re:Whiskey?

[retchdog]

I didn't know they made urinals out of beechwood.

Re:Whiskey?

[Markspark]

why not? in china they put melamine in the milk.