Cutting Steel With Flaming Bacon Weapons 73
Ed Pegg writes "Theo Gray demonstrates the Bacon Lance, a flaming meatsword that can cut through steel. Yes, with some ordinary bacon, and some pure oxygen, it's possible to cut through security doors. Form the article, 'I recently committed myself to the goal, before the weekend was out, of creating a device entirely from bacon and using it to cut a steel pan in half. My initial attempts were failures, but I knew success was within reach when I was able to ignite and melt the pan using seven beef sticks and a cucumber.' This comes out right after his profusely illustrated book of science experiments, Mad Science."
Um... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Theodore Gray (Score:1, Funny)
Depending, of course - but on what, I can't say.
Meatsword? Really? (Score:4, Funny)
Dear Ed,
However many times you considered and reconsidered using the world "meatsword" in your summary, double it next time. Unless it was fewer than three, in which case, double that.
This guideline clearly doesn't apply if you're writing slash fiction. (Which, I might add, might be a fine way for you to channel this sort of thing in the future.)
Other than that, I think you should follow this guideline.
Thanks,
Peter
i gotta say it (Score:2, Funny)
yea go ahead and mod me down, i deserve it.
but it was worth it.
Hokey religions and ancient weapons... (Score:5, Funny)
Ahh, the bacon laser sword. The chosen weapon of the Cheddar Monks.
An elegant weapon, from a more civilized age.
Oblig (Score:3, Funny)
In Soviet Russia, bacon fry pan!
Re:Um... (Score:3, Funny)
I just had this thought that this is one "Tool" that Islam will not use to "build" with...
Re:Hokey religions and ancient weapons... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Prosciutto is not bacon (Score:4, Funny)
I've made bacon and I know the truth, you can't handle the truth.
Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls need to be guarded by men with flaming bacon lances.
Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinberg? That ain't kosher.
I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and curse the Marines; you have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved your bacon, and that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.
You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall; you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, prosciutto. We use them as the backbone of a life trying to defend something. You use them as a punchline.
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under a blanket of the very bacon I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you," and went on your way.
Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a bacon lance and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
n who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very bacon I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you," and went on your way.
Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a bacon lance and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.