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Burglar Bites Through Steel Bars 12

Police were shocked when they discovered a number of robberies were being committed by someone who was biting through steel window bars. "Through our investigations, we found the grids had been cut but with deep tooth prints," a local police spokesman said. They were tipped off by a man who was sharing a hotel room with another man who could crack walnuts with his teeth. After questioning, 23-year-old Xiong, who grew up in a mountain town with abundant walnuts, confessed to the burglaries. Xiong claimed he could chew through any steel bar up to 1 cm in thickness by chewing on welding spots. "I only failed once in the past two years. Once I bit on a 2cm thick steel grid, and the first bite nearly dislocated my jaw. I never take other tools with me when breaking in. That's why I never got stopped by patrolling officers at night," he said. I'm sure he has a lucrative toothpaste spokesman career ahead of him when he gets out of jail.

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Burglar Bites Through Steel Bars

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  • I bet those steel bars were so contaminated with lead that it was a stretch to even call them steel.

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by Joebert ( 946227 )
      That could help explain why he thought chewing through steel bars to burglarize places was a good idea.
  • by janwedekind ( 778872 ) on Saturday June 13, 2009 @08:14AM (#28319023) Homepage

    Yesterday a Chinese prisoner broke free after masticating the steel bars of his prison. A local zoological expert confirmed that the site was not up to standard and he said that "any medium sized polar bear could have done this". The local police after being alerted chased the escapee to the border of the jungle only to discover that nearly all of their weapons where maimed and covered with toothmarks. One policeman who wants to stay anonymous claimed that he saw the 23 year old man stopping a bullet with his teeth. The prisoner escaped after forcing the police to seek cover by spitting nutshells at them.

  • Now that glass cell from X-Men 3 that they used to contain Magneto will have a use again!

I have hardly ever known a mathematician who was capable of reasoning. -- Plato

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