Iran Tries To Pacify Protesters With Lord of The Rings Marathon 419
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by
samzenpus
from the chip-the-glasses-and-crack-the-plates-that's-what-Ahmadinejad-hates dept.
from the chip-the-glasses-and-crack-the-plates-that's-what-Ahmadinejad-hates dept.
Iranian state television's Channel Two is playing a Lord of the Rings marathon in an attempt to keep people inside watching hobbits and not protesting in the streets. Normally, people in Tehran are treated to one or two Hollywood movies a week, but with recent events the government hopes that sitting through a nine-hour trilogy will take the fight out of most of the protesters. Perhaps this was not the best choice in films if you want your people not to believe that "even the smallest person can change the course of the future."
Drivel (Score:5, Funny)
Hmmmm. (Score:5, Funny)
Well, speaking for myself, I wanted to kill people on the exit from 2 out 3 of those movies, so this may not achieve the intended effect.
Wonderful! (Score:5, Funny)
Lord of the rings in the original farsi! Can someone tape it for me?
No TV and Beer make Homer Something Something (Score:3, Funny)
Since beer is already off the list for Iranians, that leaves only one option.
This may not be a bad thing. (Score:3, Funny)
Freedom! (Score:5, Funny)
Where is my vo... Ooh! Legolas!
Hey MPAA! (Score:0, Funny)
Did they get the rights to that?
Re:No Extended Version? (Score:5, Funny)
It's probably in pan-n-scan too.
JIHAD!
What will happen (Score:5, Funny)
"A day may come when the courage of men fails ... But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, men of ... Iran! Allahu Akbar!"
Re:Wonderful! (Score:4, Funny)
Everyone knows that Tolkien was Klingon. Just like Shakespeare.
Wrong movie (Score:5, Funny)
They should have showed 300 instead.
the one (Score:2, Funny)
Sex sells... (Score:5, Funny)
and scantily clad women.
You've said it!
You should see some of the new burqas and chadors they are shipping to the stores. Sexy as hell.
You can almost see the eyebrows.
A little trick they learned from us (Score:5, Funny)
After they saw how they lost sleeper cell after sleeper cell here in the US:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/after_5_years_in_u_s_terrorist [theonion.com]
.
.
Re:Freedom! (Score:5, Funny)
Eagles? (Score:5, Funny)
Iran hopefully welcomes ... (Score:4, Funny)
their new hobbit overlord.
Oh wait! That's North Korea ... my bad!
Re:What will happen (Score:5, Funny)
Either way It's a Trap!
Re:American meddling huh? (Score:4, Funny)
So the tyrants of Iran are blaming this whole mess on the American media, then they're tying to placate the protesters with American media? A movie trilogy about a bunch of people banding together to overthrow an evil tyrant no less. Nobody could draw parallels between things like the dark riders and the police riding motorcycles beating people with clubs.
The sense of irony is weak with the Iranian dictatorship...
Or the Iranian leftist media just managed to *WHOOSH* the evil overlord.
Re:Drivel (Score:3, Funny)
If this movie doesn't work they'll have to give them the newest Hollywood movie: Bruno. That should fly well over there.
Re:Showing them LOTR?! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:What will happen (Score:4, Funny)
They're probably redubbed that bit to:
"The filthy British and American orcs have us pinned down with their green-hued protests, but we must rise up and smite them all, even if it means our deaths!"
Re:American meddling huh? (Score:3, Funny)
It's all in who you regard as the good guys. How about paralleling the motorcycle-riding police with the Riders of Rohan?
This will cause trouble... (Score:5, Funny)
From what I've heard, most people voted for a Star Trek marathon, not LOTR. The Guardian Council denies anything is wrong with the vote count, despite the official count being 17 billion votes for LOTR vs -8 for Star Trek.
I wonder if this is going to cause any trouble...
Another movie perhaps? (Score:3, Funny)
How about Star Wars then....
Re:Link (Score:3, Funny)
P.S. Is Slashdot's CSS just going to get weirder and weirder until the site can't used at all? Now the comment field is about 3cm wide.
Slashdot's CSS is optomized for FF on Slack. You must be using WinBlows... "Get a real OS"
Re:No Extended Version? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Drivel (Score:2, Funny)
Iranian 1: "DEATH TO AMERICA!"
Iranian 2: "Hey, they make the movies on Channel 2."
Iranian 1:"Oh, wait..."
Re:Eagles? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Drivel (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Can't have it both ways (Score:5, Funny)
Every observer called the election rigged, even some of the internal ones.
Russia has recognized the elections as fair.
In completely unrelated news, Russians have been campaigning for a return to the methods of Stalin [reuters.com]. Not a joke.
Re:Link (Score:5, Funny)
Calling it optimized is a bit much. Maybe it accidentally works better there, or something like that.
Play them in reverse order (Score:4, Funny)
That way, Frodo starts out near-death from exposure to the outside world, but ends up happy at home, blissfully ignorant of what's going on outside the shire, while his ancient and powerful Supreme Leader takes care of all that messy 'freedom' stuff....
Following today's showing of LotR (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Freedom! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Eagles? (Score:4, Funny)
The Eagles didn't want to get involved because it didn't directly effect them at first. Once they saw that the Humans, Dwarves, Elves, Ents and Hobbits had done most of the hard work and it looked like Orcs would probably be after their eggs pretty shortly they turned up to help out. Oh sure they helped out in a non-combat way up till that point, saving Gandalf and providing equipment. However they demanded a hefty price that set back the Shire years technology wise and really helped boost their own post war economy putting them in a very favorable position while the rest of Middle Earth tried to rebuild. They really fell out of favour with the rest of Middle Earth in the years after Sauron was defeated because they just wouldn't shut up about how they defeated Sauron all by themselves.
That wasn't very subtle was it?
Re:American meddling huh? (Score:3, Funny)
So... this would be the "dictator's cut" that they're watching...
Re:What will happen (Score:3, Funny)
Doesn't matter. I still say we send as many lawyers to Iran as the MPAA needs to argue the case (the more the better). In fact, I might even be willing to pay a tax just to send them there (they can use the money they win litigating to get back).
Of course I can see one or two ways this could backfire ...
Apr 1, 2012, CNN:
"And in todays news, the MPAA deployed another brigade of Lawyers to Iran, equipped with new Arbiter Mk-V Summons Dispenser. bringing the total Amicus count to 24,000. The Lead Attorney on the case reports they expect closing arguments in Tehran to be done by the end of the month, but they expect the trials to drag on in the outlying cities." :shudder:
nitpicking (Score:5, Funny)
Come on; it doesn't matter which U.S. state the film was made in; the point is it's all American media.
Obligatory puns (Score:2, Funny)
"One does not simply walk into Tehran..."
"The great "eye"atollah is ever watchful..."
"Riders! In burqas!"
"Do not meddle in the affairs of Muslims, for they are subtle and quick to anger"
"The battle for Iraq is over, the jihad for Middle-east is about to begin..."
"The bomb will not save Iran. It only has the power to destroy..."
"Authority is not given to you to deny the votes, Mahmoud" "The rule of Iran is mine! And no other's!
"In the land of Iran, in the fires of Mosque Doom..."
Re:Drivel (Score:4, Funny)
Braveheart (Score:3, Funny)
is the only movie that would have pushed the irony meter higher.
Re:Eagles? (Score:4, Funny)
Would those be African or European eagles?
Re:The Grotesquely Ugly Truth (Score:5, Funny)
No country operates in a vaccuum. Period.
Well, except for Moonistan.
Re:Drivel (Score:1, Funny)
People will just riot harder when they realize Tom Bombadil's scene was cut so that 15 minutes of additional homoerotic hobbit frolicking could be tacked to the end.
Re:nitpicking (Score:5, Funny)
Typical American lack of geography. Everyone knows that New Zealand is a state of Australia.