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Burglar Logs Into Facebook On Victim's Computer 337

Posted by ScuttleMonkey
from the status-reads-i'm-robbing-a-house-right-now dept.
yet-another-lobbyist writes to mention that Facebook addiction has finally caused real world consequences, at least for one would-be burglar. It seems that 19-year-old Jonathan Parker couldn't stay away from the popular social networking site, even long enough to rob a house. Parker not only stopped mid-robbery to check his Facebook status on the victim's computer, but left it logged in to his account when he left.
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Burglar Logs Into Facebook On Victim's Computer

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  • by CdBee (742846) on Friday September 18, 2009 @02:43PM (#29469679)
    Seriously - what a muffin.... Wonder how his addiction will do, in jail...
  • Parker, you scoundrel!
  • by onepoint (301486)

    Darwin effects will always rule!

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      Unfortunately he will likely still get a chance to contribute to the decline of the the gene pool when he gets out of jail so he is, again unfortunately, ineligible for a Darwin Award. This time.

      This is an extreme example supporting my long standing belief that only stupid criminals get caught, the smart ones end up running mega-corps like M$.
  • Criminals are stupid.
  • Frame job? (Score:5, Interesting)

    by JSBiff (87824) on Friday September 18, 2009 @02:45PM (#29469721) Journal

    Part of me has to wonder if someone else might have logged into the facebook account and left it for the victim to find, to implicate this other fellow?

    Granted, there's probably more evidence to tie this guy to the burglary, but, I dunno, this seems *too* convenient.

    • by Anonymous Coward on Friday September 18, 2009 @03:01PM (#29469941)

      You've got to remember where this happened - Martinsburg, WV... where they old saw goes:

      How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
      Because anywhere else it would have bene called a teethbrush.

    • Re:Frame job? (Score:5, Interesting)

      by jittles (1613415) on Friday September 18, 2009 @03:02PM (#29469963)
      Don't underestimate the stupidity of your average criminal. My dad is a lawyer who has defended some really dumb criminals. I remember him telling me one time about a client who got busted for robbing a jewelry store. Apparently on his way to commit the crime he was pulled over for speeding. As luck would have it, he brought the ticket into the store with him and accidentally left it on the counter. Needless to say, it didn't take very long for the police to find him
      • by hawk (1151) <hawk@eyry.org> on Friday September 18, 2009 @04:05PM (#29470783) Journal

        Back when I handled criminals, I had some *real* dumb ones, but my favorite robbed a friend's credit union.

        When the police found him, he leaped up to tell them that the money in one pocket was his; that theirs was on the other. And when they brought the teller out to ID him, *he* IDed *her* instead!

        Yes, criminals really are this dumb.

        hawk, esq

    • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

      by Tony Hoyle (11698)

      I doubt the police would go for a prosecution just based on a facebook login. It will give them a prime suspect though - which will turn up other evidence, as in this case.

      • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

        by asifyoucare (302582)

        I doubt the police would go for a prosecution just based on a facebook login. It will give them a prime suspect though - which will turn up other evidence, as in this case.

        Why not? It puts him at the scene, and the browser history will reveal the exact time. At the very least they'd get an easy conviction for trespass and probably breaking and entering. Would a jury really decide there was sufficient doubt? Not unless he could show someone else also broke into the house that night.

    • Re:Frame job? (Score:5, Informative)

      by brian0918 (638904) <brian0918@g m a i l .com> on Friday September 18, 2009 @03:06PM (#29470033)

      Granted, there's probably more evidence to tie this guy to the burglary

      Yeah... like the fact that he asked a friend if they'd want to help rob the house.....

      He also said that the night before the burglary, Parker asked him if he wanted to help break into the victim's home but he refused.

      • by mrdoogee (1179081)

        Unless he told the police without being asked to, wuldn't that make him an accessory to burglary before the fact?
        or is accessory only a crime when it comes to murder?

        IAO*NAL
        *obviously

        • ....wait...refusing to commit a crime is illegal in America now? What's next, thoughtcrime? sigh.

          • by mrdoogee (1179081)

            I'll bite....

            If your friend comes to you and says "I'm going to kill my wife tomorrow. Will you help?"

            And you say "No"

            But you don't inform the police that your friend is conspiring to commit murder, and the next day his wife turns up dead and he's the killer, then you have committed a crime by not trying to prevent the murder. In other words you've concealed the crime by omission.

            That's accessory before the fact.

            I was wondering if it applies to theft as well as murder.

            • Ah. Not sure if I agree with that law, I can see some good arguments for and against it. I'd be surprised, but not terribly so, if it applied to less serious crimes.

              Not only am I not a lawyer, I have no idea what I'm talking about! You should take my legal advice:-)

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by Brigadier (12956)

      I have a few friends who are detectives in two local jurisdictions, one being the lapd. After learning of some interrogation tactics only a seasoned criminal really has a chance, well them and those who are smart enough to request a lawyer immediately. I fully see the following scenario.

      cop: So mr iamsosexyinthewv you do realize your mafia wars experience points will be subtracted once this goes to court right !?
      perp: What do you mean they will be subtracted when i go to court.
      cop: well if you weren't on t

    • Re: (Score:2, Interesting)

      by Anonymous Coward

      I don't know; guy from my high school crawled through an elderly woman's kitchen window and raped her. And dropped his wallet. And didn't realize it. True story; he didn't go straight home so the cops actually got to his apartment before he did and we were waiting for him when came home. People who have no impulse control (in other words, most criminals), really don't have the ability to prioritize like most of us "OK, I'd like to check facebook like I usually do every 5 minutes, but right now the potential

  • by Phoenixlol (1549649) on Friday September 18, 2009 @02:46PM (#29469739)
    is postin this from this house im robin... WAD UP JAY!!1 WANNA CHILL TONIHGT/
  • by Codex_of_Wisdom (1222836) on Friday September 18, 2009 @02:48PM (#29469763)
    JOHN PARKER is robbing a house :)
    updated 2:57 PM today
  • Facebook addiction (Score:5, Interesting)

    by TrippTDF (513419) <hiland AT gmail DOT com> on Friday September 18, 2009 @02:51PM (#29469793)
    I know what that is like.. I actually made my wife change my password for me, and she logs me in a couple times a week so i can check messages.

    I don't think anyone predicted that the internet would give us infinite narcissism.
    • If you were really determined to kick your addiction you would have deleted your account completely.
      you know, 'going cold turkey'

      • by TrippTDF (513419)
        I still would like to use the service- it's not like cocaine where there is no benefit. This way I'm not tempted to keep a tab open when I'm at work, but I still have access if I need it.
    • by mrdoogee (1179081)

      Good for you, I guess... but that's kinda like letting your wife shoot you up instead of tying yourself off and doing it yourself. You're still addicted, you just have someone else controlling your supply.

      No facebook acct for me.

      • by cabjf (710106)
        Or it's kind of like portioning out your meals and only eating every few hours or so. Or are we all just addicted to food? Or maybe it's like a parent limiting a teenager's phone time (you know, back before cell phones). It's still a useful tool, but he recognized that it was too easy for him to abuse it.
    • Predictions (Score:5, Interesting)

      by SuperKendall (25149) on Friday September 18, 2009 @04:13PM (#29470867)

      I don't think anyone predicted that the internet would give us infinite narcissism.

      For anyone who read Usenet back in the 90's, this was not a prediction - it was a certainty.

  • So the burglar just left the computer there? You'd think if you were robbing the place you'd just take it with you...

    I'm calling shenanigans! Frame-Job!! :P
    • 3500 dollars worth of goods you can slip into your pocket versus 350 dollars worth of something that you have to carry openly down the street... that has a serial number.

      You do the math.
  • by idontgno (624372) on Friday September 18, 2009 @03:00PM (#29469933) Journal
    that criminals aren't criminals because they're too smart to hold down a regular job.
    • No, the smart criminals just become elected officials or run companies (sad part is I'm only half joking).
  • Status (Score:2, Funny)

    I can only assume he was stopping to set his status to "is about to get arrested for burglary".
  • by Gravitron 5000 (1621683) on Friday September 18, 2009 @03:10PM (#29470081)
    if was robbing the place, why didn't he take the damn computer?
    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by pluther (647209)

      Probably a tower case.

      Most burglars are no professionals. They are just looking for easily-grabbed items that they can fit into their pockets. Any cash laying around, jewelry, mp3 players or other electronic devices, stuff like that. Carrying a computer down the street would be too obvious.

      Likewise, people like this are usually crimes of opportunity. Little to no planning would have been involved - this guy is obviously no professional.

    • Pound for pound, PCs probably have a very low return. Not to mention a serial number.

      Grandma's silver set and cash are a lot easier to deal with and weigh a lot less.
      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by clone53421 (1310749)

        It's actually sorta in the middle, between "backslash" and "shift". Pounding on the "return" probably isn't a good idea, though, cause you might break the keyboard.

  • Twitter: I'm robbing house...
  • FTA:

    Jonathan G. Parker, 19, of Fort Loudoun, Pa., was arraigned Tuesday one count of felony daytime burglary.

    During the investigation, a friend of the victim told her that he knew where Parker was staying, in the same area as the victim's house.

    Police then went to the home and spoke with a friend of Parker's.

    The man said Parker had stopped by his home occasionally, but he said the man didn't live there.

    He also said that the night before the burglary, Parker asked him if he wanted to help break into the victim's home but he refused.

    So apparently the underqualified burglar was staying with a neighbor, asked said neighbor for help, and then proceeded anyways to break into the house that the neighbor refused to help him break into.

    Frankly I'm surprised our criminal didn't leave behind his wallet or an autographed self-portrait as well.

  • by Lord Grey (463613) * on Friday September 18, 2009 @04:18PM (#29470931)
    Habitual Multitaskers Do It Badly [slashdot.org].

    Dumbass.
  • Full of LOL (Score:3, Funny)

    by EkriirkE (1075937) on Friday September 18, 2009 @05:14PM (#29471599) Homepage
    Here's his MySpace:
    http://www.myspace.com/parkersworld16 [myspace.com]

    And a choice quote from one of his friends:

    ...Aubrey wants you to join their mob in Mobsters, a Mafia-style combat game played on MySpace.

    Start out as a petty thief and work your way up to become a Mob Don!

  • by SlashDev (627697) on Friday September 18, 2009 @05:19PM (#29471665) Homepage
    "Jonathan G. Parker, 19, of Fort Loudoun, Pa., was arraigned Tuesday one count of felony daytime burglary." Is there a felony nighttime burglary? How about after nap burglary?

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