RPG Heroes Are Jerks 119
I have to give him credit for smashing the vases to get the medicine, and finding the legendary wedding dress among the rags. However, he forgot to kill the peasants for xp and you should always check the fireplace for any remaining food.
Let me just be the first to ask... (Score:3, Funny)
...lolwut?
No article... (Score:5, Funny)
Golden Axe my ass. (Score:5, Funny)
You think RPG heroes are bad, well let me tell you something: it's been engrained in society since I was only 1-foot tall. Every time I run through a forest, someone decides to encamp right in the middle of the path between tree lines. This is so stupid! It's practically the same as sleeping on railroad tracks, or on a heavily-used road for that matter! And when I try to sneak through, the fuckers awaken and kick me so hard my meats and stuff fall out of my bag! Knockers like me need respect when we travel on our own roads!
LOL (Score:5, Funny)
Yup. I've often wondered why the very people you're typically trying to save (in most stories) don't "offer" you stuff...instead, you gotta go through their home like a crack-head looking for the motherlode.
Re:No Article (Score:4, Funny)
Probably because it is about as substantive as many of the other submissions?
Re:What the fuck? (Score:4, Funny)
Fire Lord's goblins are taking over the kingdom.
"News for nerds, stuff that matters."
Seriously? (Score:1, Funny)
Many a family tree needs trimming.
Even Slashdot should follow its own wisdom.
Totally Inaccurate (Score:5, Funny)
"Where are you taking grandma?"
"Where are you taking grandma?"
"Where are you taking grandma?"
Re:What the fuck? (Score:2, Funny)
I'M CAPTAIN BASCH FON RONSENBERG OF DALMASCA (Score:2, Funny)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSyfGm6wXgs [youtube.com]
Re:Heros aren't jerks... (Score:2, Funny)
As a Lawful Good thief, er, rogue in D&D Online, I'm quite happy with my backstabbing holy pigstickers of pure good.
It does require opportunity, of course. Why, just the other day, we were running through a wild zone to a mission when we came across a broken down caravan trailer. The DM's voice boomed out, "It looks like the orcs attacked this caravan recently and picked it clean."
All I could think was how ripped off I felt, with someone else getting there first to kill them and take their stuff.
Re:LOL (Score:2, Funny)
Better still is the hero that has some kind of official backing from a kingdom, or government, or whatever who starts out with a knife and a T-shirt, and has to start out exterminating rats or whatever.
Then he has to steal or earn money doing menial tasks to buy equipment.
If this guy is the hope of the world or whatever, you'd think that the king who sent him out could at least equip him as well as the castle guards...
Sounds like a typical civil service job to me.
Mass Effect 2 and looting (Score:5, Funny)
Okay, this struck me as pretty funny. Mass Effect 2 is pretty conventional for an RPG in that there's a lot of random "break into this wall safe you just happen to be passing by" action. And despite the fact that the game has a classic Bioware "light side / dark side"... no wait, sorry, "Paragon / Renegade" meter, it never seems to budge, no matter how many times you appropriate other people's property.
Normally I'd have overlooked this as just another silly convention of the genre, but there's a scene quite early on in the game where you stumble across a pair of looters ransacking apartments in a part of town gutted by a plague. The looters point out that the residents are mostly dead, and therefore not likely to care. But of course, you get the dialog option that says "No more looting."
It just struck me as funny, considering that on that mission alone, I had already collected a bunch of cash by hacking bank terminals and raiding the coffers of a quasi-legal mercenary group.
Re:Mass Effect 2 and looting (Score:3, Funny)
Not to mention that around the next corner, there's a husband and wife cowering in fear behind their locked door, and you get to open up *their* wallsafe without so much as a comment, but I believe you can earn some Paragon points by convincing them to make a run for the clinic.