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Website Sells Pubic Lice 319

Posted by samzenpus
from the gift-that-keeps-on-giving dept.
A British website called crabrevenge.com will help you prove that there is literally nothing you can't find online by selling you pubic lice. A disclaimer on the site says the creators "do not endorse giving people lice," and the lice are for "novelty purposes only." The company also boasts about a facility "where we do all of our parasite husbandry and carefully considered selective breeding." Three different packages are available: "Green package - One colony that can lay as many as 30 eggs for about $20. Blue package - Three colonies to share with your friends or freeze a batch or two for about $35. Red package - A vial of 'shampoo-resistant F-strain crabs' which can take up to two weeks to kill for about $52."

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Website Sells Pubic Lice

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  • by cruelworld (21187) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @03:25PM (#32173308)
    Everyone i know shaves so I don't see how effective this would be.
    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by MBGMorden (803437)

      Really depends on the crowd. 6-7 years ago the shaving fetish hit like crazy and you'd have to search to the ends of the Earth (ok, honestly, you'd probably be safe once you hit Mexico) to find a girl with some bush, but it's come back into style in the last year or two. Not universally, but a lot more girls are sporting bush than there was previously. Can't say that's a bad thing either.

      • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

        by Anonymous Coward

        Oh great....I'm sure every average Slashdotter has seen thousands of vaginas, and is able to correctly discern what "vagina styling" is in vogue at any given moment.

        • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

          by Anonymous Coward

          I am going to offer you two pills, take the blue pill and you wake up tomorrow still thinking slashdotters aren't seeing thousands of vaginas. Take the red pill and you turn of the safe search filter on google and you type in "teen pussy" and within a single day you see over a thousand "rabbit holes" and exactly how deep they go.

      • by c6gunner (950153)

        Not universally, but a lot more girls are sporting bush than there was previously.

        I haven't seen one since '98. If it's coming back into stile, it seems nobody's bothered to tell the women ....

    • by AtlantaSteve (965777) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @04:11PM (#32174024)

      Discussion of female grooming habits is one thing, but there are too many comments here from dudes about their own "manscaping". If Slashdot is going to have an "Informative" tag which mods posts up... then there should also be a "Too Much Informative" tag which mods posts down.

    • by interval1066 (668936) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @04:34PM (#32174380) Homepage Journal

      "Everyone i know shaves so I don't see how effective this would be."

      Everyone you know? How/Why do you know this...? Of all the people I know, aside from my wife, I know exactly ZERO (0) % about their personal grooming down pubic region. Why in the world would you know this in your circle?

    • by Locke2005 (849178)
      How exactly is it that you know that everyone you know shaves? Wait -- I don't want to know.
  • Greeat (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @03:26PM (#32173316)

    They are breeding resistant strains of lice. Does this count as parasite warfare?

    • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

      by Moblaster (521614)

      Remember, you can always fight back in creative ways. I've heard chicken flied lice tastes good.

  • huh ? is it even legal ? leave aside ethical ?
    • by binarylarry (1338699) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @03:29PM (#32173364)

      I'm not the pope, but I'm going to have to put "intentionally giving people crabs" in the unethical column.

      But fun and rewarding? Totally different column.

    • What's scary is the last sentence of TFA:

      this website isn't the only one that offers pubic lice for revenge. There's also revengecrabs.com, which says "watching them itch and burn is half the fun."

      So there are multiple websites dedicated to selling pubic lice.

      I'm normally a laissez-faire kind of guy, but seriously... what do we need to do to get this shit shut down?

      • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @03:56PM (#32173774)

        I'm normally a laissez-faire kind of guy, but seriously... what do we need to do to get this shit shut down?

        Regulations. Laws. Common sense. Morality. A clue. The ability to live with being a hypocrite.

        All of the things that "laissez-faire" economics usually figures the market will resolve for itself, and yet is completely incapable of fixing -- because it assumes benign, rational humans who make good choices, and an underlying mechanism where things like murder for hire, arms dealers, bioterrorists, and asshats can't happen. It totally ignores human nature, and the fact that people aren't always nice, and don't always give a shit about the welfare of others.

        This is the logical result of laissez-faire capitalism -- basically, anarchy. Only in anarchy, someone's ability to hunt you down and kill you regulates the system. As soon as you have any concept of law, to not think you need to apply that to your economic system is just plain stupid. Because someone is going to try to fuck someone else over.

        You simply can't be a strict laisez-faire guy and believe that you have any right to shut this kind of thing down -- well, I guess you could hire someone to kill them, but that might be a little extreme.

        Everyone likes to think this so called "free market" is inherently moral and will arrive at "good" and "just" decisions, when in fact, it's inherently amoral. It doesn't give a shit -- if people are willing to pay for it, it must be inherently good.

  • by realsilly (186931) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @03:30PM (#32173368)

    That's just wrong on so many levels. I can see kids buying these and then using them to pick on other school kids they don't like. Such as putting them in some kid's underwear when he/she is showering after the gym class.

    This type of item used as a gag gift could have serious consequences for the recipient. If it's a student who is the recipient, then schools kick them out until they're free and clear. Parents may miss work to be home with student. Lice spread easily.

    There is absolutely nothing good from this. /facepalm

  • Next up: AIDS! (Score:3, Insightful)

    by citylivin (1250770) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @03:30PM (#32173374)

    You too can have your own strain of the HIV virus! Play jokes on your friends!

    Uhoh, whoes got AIDS today? Everyone!

    A lifetime of hilarity!

  • For the longest time I thought Monty Python was a parody.

    • by gstoddart (321705)

      For the longest time I thought Monty Python was a parody.

      I think this falls into the "life being stranger than art" category.

  • by cyberworm (710231) <cyberworm&gmail,com> on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @03:32PM (#32173398) Homepage
    I'll stick to the old way of getting crabs.
    Hookers.
  • Bioterrorism? (Score:2, Insightful)

    by andrewme (1562981)
    Would giving people lice like this perhaps fall under the "bioterrorism" category? Just a thought...
    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by DaveV1.0 (203135)

      Bioterrorism is doubtful. But, criminal mischief, assault and battery, malicious wounding, and who knows what other laws it might fall under.

    • by Duradin (1261418)

      Given that anything bigger than a firecracker can get you a WMD charge these days, probably.

      I remember back in the day when WMDs were real WMDS. City-killers. Weapons of genocide. Now it's anything that goes boom. So with the modern usage, there were WMDs in Iraq.

    • by Valdrax (32670)

      I think you'd have to be really creative to turn this into an act of terrorism. Not every act of assault or attempted battery is automatically terrorism, even if you use a creative weapon.

      Spreading them in lingerie stores as a protest against licentiousness might qualify.

  • What's next, needles full of AIDS-infected blood?

  • Can you buy tapeworms online to help us (or that fat loved one) lose weight? What about fleas? What fun!
  • The grammar on the website is awful, complete with "were" instead of "where," breaking apart words that shouldn't be broken apart...
  • Can you anonymously drop-ship this product to, say, an ex-wife or unfriendly co-worker? I'd like to buy about 10 batches of the "Red", if so.
  • SOLD! (Score:2, Funny)

    by indre1 (1422435)
    SOLD - in Europe only Danish teenagers shave!
  • by BitwiseX (300405) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @03:49PM (#32173648)
    "Thank you SO much you saved my marridge! My wife broke it off with her new lover because she thought he gave her crabs, wish I had found this site sooner!"
    Ryan - Hamilton

    Wow...just.... wow..
  • Willfully spreading a contagious illness (which this qualifies as) should be illegal.
    I would say that creating ANY resistant, contagious disease should be considered a crime against humanity in general and should be rewarded with a swift death.

    Contagious disease is a GREAT way to inflict misery on a lot of unintended and innocent victims.

    Honestly, I can think of no worse or more dangerous crime.

    --PM

    • by drinkypoo (153816)

      Honestly, I can think of no worse or more dangerous crime.

      Bend over... Another bailout is coming (got you! heh heh)

    • by stimpleton (732392) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @06:17PM (#32175818)
      "Honestly, I can think of no worse or more dangerous crime."

      A police officer manipulating evidence for pecuniary gain while his target spends years in jail, his finances, family, and anus in tatters?

      No.30 on your list?

      The Texas judge who sent hundreds of youth to a private jail, of which he had financial interest in. Those convictions being over turned long after his ruse was tumbled? No.99? Perhaps not even in your top 100?
  • "Make that bitch itch," the website says. "We sell you crabs to give your ex-girlfriend or whoever has pissed you off enough to make you seek revenge on them. If you want a method of revenge that doesn't involve permanent damage or risk of personal injury or jail time, you have come to the right place."

    So when/if I do incur jail time, what kind of countersuit could I claim??

  • I thought that the RIAA held the international patent on blood-sucking parasites.
    • by Valdrax (32670)

      You would think the patent attorneys themselves would recognize the prior art involved.

  • by gyrogeerloose (849181) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @04:39PM (#32174480) Journal

    I'm tellin' ya, this country it going to hell in a handbasket. Buying crabs? Sheesh. In my day we got our crabs for free at a Grateful Dead show.

    Now, get off my lawn.

  • PhRMA says pubic lice theft exceeded $51B in 2009.

  • by Frans Faase (648933) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @04:47PM (#32174598) Homepage

    Lice are not very good at surviving without food (= blood). Half of them have died within 24 hours. A bedbug would be much better, because they can go for months without food and they are very difficult to get rid off, once you get them in your house.

  • As a man in my early forties (married and faithful to one woman since 1999), I have to say this thread is an eye opener. I never even considered that there was a fad of almost-baldness a few years ago, but female bush is making a comeback.

    I guess everything DID change after 9/11!

    I wonder how many successful businessmen bed younger women, thinking something like "well, I don't look or act like I'm in my fifties", without knowing (without even knowing to know) that their junk adornment is as fashionable as a

  • by cheesethegreat (132893) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @04:48PM (#32174616)

    To be clear, I'm not a criminal lawyer. Crime is far, far away from my specialism. I am also not your lawyer. This is not a researched opinion. Cheers.

    This would absolutely (in my opinion) be a criminal offence in the jurisdiction.

    Common assault - includes any non-consensual contact or the causing of non-consensual contact through another object. This could easily be analogised to the cases involving leaving a trap or poking with a stick.

    Much more serious:

    Sexual assault - SOA 2003 s(3) - AFAIK this includes touching through another object, so the offense would be available

    Infliction of GBH with intent - GBH requires common assault (see above) and the rupturing of membranes, which lice do when they suck blood (this potentially hold a sentence of lifetime imprisonment, and is an extraordinarily serious offence in the UK)

    The Crown Prosecution Service generally charges less than the most serious crime chargeable, but it is quite feasible to imagine an assault or sexual assault charge being made if this were used. Also, the site owners are doubtless on the hook for all sorts of conspiracy and assistance offences, but I know little to nothing about them. Also, this may well come under the remit of Operation Sapphire (the London police operation on rape and sexual offences. I know some of the outstanding officers involved, they're like dogs with a bone once they get a suspect in their sights.) or could be viewed as domestic violence, which elevates sentencing in the courts (and opens up the possibility of elevation to Crown Court sentencing).

    All sorts of wonderful civil options even if the CPS didn't prosecute, with trespass against the person and negligence high on the list.

  • That doesn't sound like a bright plan. Girls talk. About embarrassing yucky stuff. Do this and the probability of getting it on with her hot friend drops to zero. :(

    (Admittedly, that may not be much of a drop, in which case the revenge may well be worth it... the math is left as an exercise for the reader.)

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