Scientist Infects Self With Computer Virus 393
superapecommando writes "A British scientist claims to have become the first human to be infected by a computer virus, in an experiment he says has important implications for the future of implantable technology. Dr Mark Gasson from the University of Reading infected a computer chip with the virus, then implanted it in his hand and transmitted the virus to a PC to prove that malware can move between human and computer."
Implications... (Score:2, Funny)
I can see it now....
Can new RFID technology lead to making you or your families ZOMBIES of the federal government? TONIGHT on Glenn Beck!
I infected a computer with a virus (Score:5, Funny)
I once had a cold and sneezed on my keyboard.
Does that make me the first human to infect a computer???
Re:No, really (Score:5, Funny)
Re:stupid (Score:5, Funny)
It is quite scary actually. This proves many things.
1. Flesh is not a valid software firewall. We need upgrades.
2. The human body can't fight off computer viruses with our immune system.
3. His body didn't alert him of the virus. No fever or any symptom.
I, for one, am quite scared of these recent events. How can you discount him so easily? If I get a pace maker and someone is able to root it - how will I know?
The only Irony Appropriate(tm) result... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:How is this human to computer? (Score:5, Funny)
"Scientist" is retard. Loosing his funding would be the best thing that could happen to him.
One would think if his funding were loosed, he'd be quite happy.
More "Research" Firsts! (Score:5, Funny)
*puts Linux ISO on USB flash drive and drops his pants*
So... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:stupid (Score:3, Funny)
Let's just look on the bright side. He could have infected a small flash drive, taped it to has schlong, went to the computer, infected it, and claimed to have found the first sexually transmitted computer virus.
So... ...What happens now? (Score:2, Funny)
He has a useless computer chip in his body. That has got to suck.
Imagine him trying to brag to people about it:
"I have a computer chip implanted in me." "Cool, what does it do?" "Nothing, it is infected with a computer virus."
FAIL
Re:stupid (Score:4, Funny)
"Mom, I know I said I'd try and call more often, but if you keep
bugging me at work I'm going to have to downgrade your firmware..."
Let's see how feisty she is with her pulse reduced by 35%!
Re:stupid (Score:5, Funny)
He should have just stuck a USB stick up his ass.
Re:More "Research" Firsts! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:stupid (Score:5, Funny)
Exactly..
Look I cut open a cat and inserted a wifi router... CATS CAN CONNECT TO WIFI!!!!
Can I be a scientist? It seems I meet the qualifications.
Next SciFi Channel movie of the week ? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:More "Research" Firsts! (Score:3, Funny)
The goatse guy has prior art, and he used a 5 1/4 inch hard drive as opposed to a wimpy USB flash. I'm sure theres someone out there whom can fit a whole NAS rack in.
Re:epic fail (Score:3, Funny)
Oh my god! He's got the virus too!
And for his next trick... (Score:5, Funny)
And for his next trick, Dr Mark Gasson will insert an Atari 2600 controller into his anus, and proceed to control a Windows PC's mouse cursor with it. This is the first time a human has ever taken over control of a computer with the twitching of their rectal wall, and demonstrates the need for anal computer security.
All hail scientific achievement.
Re:stupid (Score:5, Funny)
Re:How is this human to computer? (Score:5, Funny)
"Scientist" is retard. Loosing his funding would be the best thing that could happen to him.
One would think if his funding were loosed, he'd be quite happy.
"Dear Research Councils, I am very happy to be acquainted with you, and as a humble scientist, wish to loose my funding to the cash sum of 7 HUNDRED THOUSAND dollars..." Sorry, not sure where I'm going with this.
Re:stupid (Score:5, Funny)
But did you follow scientific method?
Clearly this gentleman is much more learned and qualified than you, so is infinitely more suitable to have large storage devices anally inserted.
Now, where did I put my 30MB "full height" 5.25" drive...
Re:stupid (Score:5, Funny)
Re:epic fail (Score:3, Funny)
Ah, I thought Captain Cyborg was from the University of Writing, or possible Aithmetic.
Re:How is this human to computer? (Score:5, Funny)
Tie it to a paper plane?
Are you mad?
That would mean the virus is airborne!
Re:stupid (Score:5, Funny)
Now, where did I put my 30MB "full height" 5.25" drive...
You're "sitting" on it...
Re:stupid (Score:2, Funny)
Re:stupid (Score:5, Funny)
Re:stupid (Score:5, Funny)
Well, at least he didn't put it on a USB drive and shove it up as anus. It would have been the exact same principal, but would have seemed less scientific.
Re:stupid (Score:1, Funny)
You'll figure it out when someone puts it on hummingbird mode.
I swallowed a usb disk (Score:5, Funny)
and then i proved Man can core dump.
Idiot.
Re:stupid (Score:5, Funny)
Look I cut open a cat and inserted a wifi router... CATS CAN CONNECT TO WIFI!!!! Can I be a scientist? It seems I meet the qualifications.
Hell, with that sort of ingenuity, you should be able to get tenure.
Re:stupid (Score:2, Funny)
In the future won't be "a penny for your thoughts".
Re:stupid (Score:2, Funny)