North Korea Develops Anti-Aging "Super Drink" 296
__roo writes "According to North Korea's official news agency, a drink produced by North Korea's Moranbong Carbonated Fruit Juice Joint Venture Company can cure aging and all disease. 'It, with effects of both preventive and curative treatment, helps improve mental and retentive faculties by multiplying brain cells. It also protects skin from wrinkles and black spots and prevents such geriatric diseases as cerebral hemorrhage, myocardium and brain infarction by removing acid effete matters in time.' It also has no side-effects." Last month North Korea announced its fusion breakthrough, and now it has a super drink. One can only imagine what wonders may come in July — perhaps self-buttering toast.
We've had that for years! (Score:4, Funny)
So they won't need to worry (Score:5, Funny)
\/|4gr4 (Score:5, Funny)
Kim Jong-il (Score:4, Funny)
No wonder he hasn't changed a bit since 10 years.
Not only self-buttering toast (Score:5, Funny)
But self-buttering toast that lands butter-side UP when dropped, every time, meaning they have developed a small anti-Murphian field that envelops each slice of toast.
Next, this Anti-Murphian field will be generated on a larger scale and will be developed as an active defense, meaning that anything that can go right will go wright.
However, the device will be immediately outlawed and everyone involved in the project killed once Kim Jong-Il realizes that if he ever got in the vicinity of an anti-Murphian field he would be instantly deposed or killed.
Re:No different than the food supplements in Ameri (Score:1, Funny)
Yeah, and those free speech hating bastards at the FDA want to stop me from selling water and making those claims! Fascists.
Re:\/|4gr4 (Score:3, Funny)
Great. Now we're gonna start getting spammed by North Korean pharmacies instead of just the Canadian ones.
Jim Jones already tried this (Score:5, Funny)
Re:No different than the food supplements in Ameri (Score:5, Funny)
I'm waiting for Kevin Trudeau to release a book titled, "Nuclear Fusion secrets THEY don't want you to know."
Anti-aging, immunity boost, whatever... (Score:5, Funny)
The real question is, has it got electrolytes?
Re:Speaking of anti-Murphian! (Score:3, Funny)
Wright's Law: If something can go right, it will, for someone else.
I thought Wright's Law stated that anything that can go rong will go rong.
North Korean joke (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Not so fast, North Korea (Score:3, Funny)
Well did you ever take a look at North Korea [wordpress.com]? They don't have electricity, much less health care.
No, the super drink just encourages you to go to bed early, and not leave the lights on.
Just like the Great Leader said, "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a dictator healthy, wealthy and wise."
It's got electrolytes (Score:5, Funny)
.
It's the anti-soju! (Score:2, Funny)
So they've basically developed the anti-soju! sweet
Re:5G Phone (Score:5, Funny)
Don't worry. Even if that happens, Jobs will come out with a 4G, coal-powered phone, and still convince everyone it's worth queuing all night and paying twice as much for.
Re:So they won't need to worry (Score:1, Funny)
About who's going to succeed Kim Jong-Il, then.
Kim Jong-III, innit.
It's a feature!! (Score:3, Funny)
"It, much higher than quality cosmetics in anti-oxidation capacity, is efficacious for different skin diseases, including allergic dermatitis. It also makes skin fair. "The drink has no side-effect."
It's a fruit juice drink that turns your skin white, but has no side effects....eh?
Better than toast (Score:3, Funny)
Last month they announced their fusion breakthrough, and now they have a super drink. One can only imagine what wonders they will reveal in July, perhaps self buttering toast.
Bah. Wake me up when North Korea announces that they are going to release "Duke Nukem Forever."
Re:Not so fast, North Korea (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Drug test there world cup team! (Score:4, Funny)
I believe their already doing this over they're.
Re:Not so fast, North Korea (Score:2, Funny)
As you can clearly see the majority of North Korea uses non-light polluting light, it's considerably more advanced than the light used in other nations.
Re:So they won't need to worry (Score:2, Funny)
FYI, North korea has been an necrocracy for 16 years. Kim Il-sung is still the official leader.
You know, they have a deal with satan or something.
Re:We've had that for years! (Score:2, Funny)