Star Wars Fans Look For Love In Alderaan Places 88
Hugh Pickens writes "The Christian Science Monitor reports that devoted fans at the recent Star Wars Convention V, many dressed as Jedi knights, stormtroopers, or the indomitable Princess Leia, sat opposite one another for a series of 3-minute speed dates, in hopes of finding a connection with a fellow Star Wars enthusiast. 'Over the course of the three events, due to size and time, we turned away about 600 participants,' says Ryan Glitch. 'Yesterday, this room was packed. We had to keep shoveling people along.' Meanwhile in the main exhibition hall, a chapel was set up to allow fans to profess their love and devotion to each other in the form of commitment ceremonies. 'I've been told that we've had two commitment ceremonies from people that met at my event,' says Glitch adding that he saw eight additional couples at the convention made up of people who had attended his speed dating sessions."
Lookin for love in all the wrong places.. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:What is the male-to-female ratio at these thing (Score:3, Funny)
This is actually why they turned away 600 participants, there were only 2 females and 602 males.
Re:3-minute speed dates? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Lookin for love in all the wrong places.. (Score:3, Funny)
Kids today won't get that. They've probably never seen a full bush.
Two girls, one c3po (Score:4, Funny)
I'm pretty sure the two kissing in the article's photo are both women.
As if the ratio wasn't bad enough, the only two women hooked up... with each other.
The "right" place (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Master Yoda says... (Score:4, Funny)
Master Yoda was an idiot:
1) Didn't see the fall of the Jedi. *
2) None of his 'visions of the future' ever came true.
3) In order to do, you must try. Frankly at this point he might as well be sitting in a senile home reading fortune cookies.
4) Taught children the force using real light sabers.
*not just with his 'vision' but through common sense he shoudl have seen it coming.
I mean really, when Samuel Jackson is on your side, some serious shit is going to happen...mother fucker.
Common pickup lines? (Score:4, Funny)
Wanna play with my wookie?
Wanna see who shoots first?
I'm tired of Hand Solo. how about you?
Back in the room... (Score:4, Funny)
- I won't fail you. I'm not afraid.
- You will be. You will be.
- All right, I'll try...
- Do, or do not! There is no try!
- I..can't. It's too big!
- Size matters not! Judge me by my size, do you?
- I don't know where you get your delusions, laser brain.
- Laugh it up, fuzzball!
- You have your moments. Not many of them, but you do have them.
- Control, control, you must learn control!
- Would it help if I got out and pushed?
- It might!
- You are beaten. It is useless to resist. Don't let yourself be destroyed as Obi-Wan did!
- Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger! Only your hatred can destroy me!
(Later...)
- How was it for you?
- Han shot first.
.
Re:3-minute speed dates? (Score:2, Funny)
Standard procedure is to slump senselessly to the ground.
Obligatory: Yellow Lasers (Score:2, Funny)
Met her at the Star Wars convention.
Did I mention she was looking for love?
Had to call her bluff, "Lady, you don't mean how that sounded.
The thousand-pound dude in the 'no fat chicks' shirt's astounded."
Thought she'd take it back, revoke, rescind, rewind, retract.
"You heard me," she said, "I want any man here
to descend in the cave where you conquer the fear,
and I'll steer you to side of the force that you choose.
Somebody's man enough here -- now who?"
This girl, now you have to understand,
would not look out of place on the arm of an attractive man,
so the geeks in attendance got jaws on the floor. One extends his
saber but he tripped on his cloak. I stepped to the front then I spoke:
"I ain't spitting game, look, I got a Wookiee hat on.
But these guys here are used to getting spat on
by girls. See, you put em in shock.
And this ain't the right con to quote Mister Spock
but it's highly illogical to me." Girl looked in my eye, said, "is your mind free?
'Cause I got something for you. It is shiny, it is clean.
Come on up and I'll adore you with my yellow laser beam."
Sitting in her room upstairs,
watching her wind up the buns in her hair,
I declare that "I'd like to be Luke
unless that's a little bit too perverted for you.
I could be Jabba, a Jawa, an Ewok
when we talk, 'oo ga la gee bla!'
Wait -- I seen all the flicks, all the books that I read,
don't remember any character tied to the bed.
But that's all right, I'll just pretend that I'm encased in carbonite.
And why that's a nice gold bikini; you make that?
Shows off what you got, no mistake: that's
one fine view of Chewbacca you're giving me.
Lower that down here, we could be living the
linguistic lifestyle of the protocol droid."
Here comes the part where I'm not overjoyed.
"Fire!" she said, and before I could scream,
got a steaming mouth full of yellow laser beam.
Re:Back in the room... (Score:1, Funny)
Awww, c'mon. Where's the
- At that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?
Re:Back in the room... (Score:2, Funny)
- I have a very bad feeling about this.
- And I thought they smelled bad on the outside.
- Get in there, you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell!
- They're coming in too fast!
- It's no good, I can't maneuver!
- Stay on target!
- We're too close!
- Stay on target!
- Loosen up!
- Uh, everything's under control. Situation normal.
- What happened?
- Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?
- I don't know who you are or where you came from, but from now on you'll do as I tell you, okay?
- You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.
- That doesn't sound too hard.
- Look at the size of that thing!
- Cut the chatter, Red 2. Accelerate to attack speed!
- You're all clear, kid, now let's blow this thing and go home!
- Great shot, kid, that was one in a million!
- You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.
.
Re:Back in the room... (Score:4, Funny)
You missed the later parts
-Get in there I don't care what you smell
-you came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.
-negative it didn't go in, just impacted on the surface.