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In Case of Emergency, Please Remove Your Bra 123

Posted by samzenpus
from the breathing-easy dept.
An anonymous reader writes "Caught in a disaster with harmful airborne particles? You'd better hope you're wearing the Emergency Bra. Simply unsnap the bright red bra, separate the cups, and slip it over your head — one cup for you, and one for your friend. Dr. Elena Bodnar won an Ig Nobel Award for the invention last year, an annual tribute to scientific research that on the surface seems goofy but is often surprisingly practical. And now Bodnar has brought the eBra to the public; purchase one online for just $29.95."
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In Case of Emergency, Please Remove Your Bra

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  • by g0bshiTe (596213) on Friday September 24, 2010 @11:03AM (#33687488)
    Protect your lungs and smell breast sweat...bonus.
  • No, your mom's eBra does not count. Or eBras still in the packaging.

  • Seriously, what is this "story" doing here? *sigh* Next thing you know, we'll see tabloidy pseudo-populist, mostly-right-wing takes on all the major news headlines, too.
  • Oh great (Score:3, Funny)

    by zill (1690130) on Friday September 24, 2010 @11:06AM (#33687548)
    Stupid impulse purchases.

    Now I have to grow out my man-boobs in order to justify that $29.95 + shipping.
  • by RenHoek (101570) on Friday September 24, 2010 @11:11AM (#33687636) Homepage

    So when the siren sounds, start groping nearby females in search of a gasmask. :)

    • by couchslug (175151)

      "So when the siren sounds, start groping nearby females in search of a gasmask. :) "

      That may be too late. You'll need to don the mask in seconds. That takes training. Lots of training. :)

      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by TheLink (130905)
        Well hopefully the Emergency Bra is easy to unclasp... I've heard some bras are rather difficult to remove.

        Not speaking from experience of course (I'm a virgin slashdotter after all).
        • by rubycodez (864176)

          that should soften the mood though, to tell surrounding women you "don't want to die a virgin" as you attempt to rip their shirts and bras off. Surely at least one in ten would buy that line. Let me know how it goes.

          And if you carry a bottle of water with you can make any bra at least partially effective as a smoke filter, as I recall firefighter's advice to "put a wet towel over your face and head toward exits".

          • by Rei (128717)

            Right. Because attempting to rape someone is just fine in emergencies, and she'll thank you for it, apparently.

            I hope your next physics lesson involves the combination "kinetic energy" and "a well-placed knee".

        • by MoriT (1747802)
          Only if you've never done it before.
    • by Reilaos (1544173) on Friday September 24, 2010 @11:31AM (#33687916) Homepage

      Remember to help yourself before assisting others.

  • by Nethemas the Great (909900) on Friday September 24, 2010 @11:15AM (#33687700)
    demo here [survivaltopics.com]
    • by TheLink (130905)
      That seems a stupid idea to me.

      If the fire is close enough that enough toxic fumes are getting into your bathroom despite your attempts at sealing it, I think you're just a few minutes away from incineration.

      If it's just the fumes and the fire is far (but you somehow can't escape), just seal the toilet, you can live on the air for a few hours.

      A human being uses about 550 litres (19 cubic feet) of oxygen per day. So that's about 100 cubic feet of air for 24 hours. Or 10 cubic feet of air for 1-2 hours.

      If the
    • by Arrepiadd (688829)

      Great! Now you don't die of the fire, you die from the decomp gases...

      Let's not forget also the fact that that small pool of water in the toilet is there to separate the sewage system from your bathroom. The smell and composition of the air on the other side of the toilet pool should be rather nasty. Sewage workers have CO2, H2S and whatnot detectors with them for a reason.
      Not sure inhaling that air won't kill you faster than the fumes from the fire...

      • The article linked there does mention that as a hazard to be careful of. Though if I'm trapped in a bathroom without air, I probably don't have time to look at blueprints to see if my toilet is vented.

        Also, in the panic of an emergency, I wouldn't remember where my snorkel was and if I did, I would probably inhale first before expelling the water from the tube, essentially drinking toilet water with a big straw.

        • by TheLink (130905)
          I think the trick is, after doing that no matter whether you fail or succeed, you'd welcome the fiery doom ;).

          Anyway, there's plenty of air in the room itself, enough for an hour or two. Better to keep around some stuff to seal the gaps to keep the gases out. It won't keep the fire out, but if the fire comes in, you drinking toilet water or breathing shit fumes ain't gonna help.
    • by Stray7Xi (698337)

      It doesn't matter if the snorkel works or not. If you're prepared enough to have the device then you should be getting a gas mask instead.

      If you have free range enough to improvise this device, you have enough leeway to escape. I don't keep hose near my bathroom and certainly not one that would provide enough airflow.

      Plus if I survived with an improvised device, I'd probably get sued for patent infringement.

      • Not that I figure it's a good idea but a bathroom will typically have a few such "hoses" already in it. Both the toilet as well as the sink usually have a flexible hose connecting them from the water supply shutoff valve to the toilet tank, or faucet respectively. With newer installations these tend to be connected by fittings designed for finger tightening.
  • In Case of Emergency, Please Remove Your Bra

    I don't have a problem with this, not at all. Now, to find the nearest fire alarm...

  • That woman on the picture. How she has that bra on her face. I've been doing that for years!
  • eCup (Score:4, Funny)

    by SteveHeadroom (13143) on Friday September 24, 2010 @11:21AM (#33687788) Homepage

    Wow, this is so much more appealing than my eCup idea for men.

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by quatin (1589389)

      Don't underestimate the cup, I wear one all the time when asking women if I can put my face in their bra.

  • If you're going to take off your top to take off your bra, why nut just do like everyone already does - lift up the front of your top to cover your nose and mouth instead? Quicker, larger filter area, etc.
    • Presumably these are designed to filter better than the fabric of the average T-shirt.
    • by Abstrackt (609015)

      If you're going to take off your top to take off your bra, why nut just do like everyone already does - lift up the front of your top to cover your nose and mouth instead? Quicker, larger filter area, etc.

      Looking at the picture, I think the biggest advantage of wearing the bra cup is that it frees your hands and is less likely to slip off your face.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Friday September 24, 2010 @11:25AM (#33687848)

    [scene] Dozens of fully clothed dead men and women lying around the computer room
    [Officer 1] What happened here?
    [Officer 2] These poor souls died in the gas attack
    [Officer 1] What?! Everybody else in the building survived just fine. They used those new-fangled gas mask bras.
    [Officer 2, Checking a few bodies] I see several of these women are wearing those bras. Why didn't these people use them?
    [Officer 1, Reading the bra's instructions] "Step 1, remove bra"...Step 2..."
    [Officer 2] Well, there's the problem right away. This is a Slashdot crowd; no experience in removing bras.

    • Yeah, that joke might have been funny if it didn't involve the suspension of disbelief that women couldn't take off their own bras because they read Slashdot. Further it requires the suspension of disbelief that women read Slashdot at all. As I understand it the female readership is something like 10%.
    • by godrik (1287354)

      You could make a similar one where the geek put the fire on to see the girl take her bra off !

  • And if she's wearing edible panties, you have an emergency food supply after the disaster hits!
    • by Rei (128717)

      You know, a lot of slashdot guys remind me of those idiots who get kanji tattoos but don't speak Chinese or Japanese. To them, they're pretty pictures with some "mystical" (and often erroneous) meaning. To Chinese and Japanese people, they're just writing. You're just writing on your body in a language you don't understand.

      Bras and underwear are just clothing. I know, I know, they're naked-woman adjacent, and all that. But they're still just clothing. My first reactions when I saw this article? "I wo

      • by 0111 1110 (518466)

        I know, I know, they're naked-woman adjacent, and all that.

        Exactly. Hence the appeal. For some of us that's the closest we're ever going to get. Note that we are not talking about clean bras and underwear. Maybe that's where your confusion lies. Bras and underwear that have actually been worn still contain many molecules from the actual female organism.

        As for your reaction, you do realize that not everyone is a cross-dresser. Frankly I don't see the appeal because, as you say, they are just clothes. But whatever floats your boat I guess.

  • Hey, this may be the closest some /. readers will ever come to a breast!
  • I and a nation full of busty women are the only survivors of a terrible disaster. In real life, my wife is busty, so she'd survive. But I'm sure she'd understand the need to to save humanity. What could go wrong?
  • by sourcerror (1718066) on Friday September 24, 2010 @11:46AM (#33688098)

    1 girl 2 cup

  • No way am I clamping a codpiece (mine, or anyone else) on my face. Mr. Happy's been in there.
  • I know that if my plane is going down, my first reaction would be to get as many bras off of as many ladies as possible. Now I can just say I'm doing it for safety.

  • "Why are we wearing bras on our heads?"
    "It's ceremonial."

  • Seems like this would only cause more frequent emergencies.
  • So now the terrorists will be going for chemical weapons. "Ahmed, if you complete this task you will be rewarded with 72 virgins. And a bunch of pretty infidel women removing their undergarments as a bonus."
    • by MoriT (1747802)
      Women in the US, at least, can remove their own bras without taking off their shirts. It just involves unclasping your bra and then shimmying the strap down under your sleeves one at a time. Depending on the shirt you either pull it out a sleeve or down the bottom of the shirt. Donning a new bra requires you to actually take your arms out of your sleeves, so they'd have better luck at catching sight of some nipple if they found a weapon that could be defended against by putting on a bra.

      The More You Kno
  • by troll8901 (1397145) <troll8901@gmail.com> on Friday September 24, 2010 @12:22PM (#33688558) Journal

    During the highly-infectious SARS period in 2003, several countries in East Asia were in a state of emergency. N95-rated respirator masks were in extreme short supply.

    One bra-manufacturing factory in Taiwan quickly modified its process and churned out masks instead - using the cup and straps as its basic design.

    It was a godsend among the Taiwanese who were greatly desperate for protection against the deadly virus, which spreads via tiny droplets of saliva sneezed/coughed into the air.

  • ...about what us males are supposed to do, but then I realised they come in pairs! - I hope that in the event of a gas attack/viral outbreak/collapsed building our female bretheren (er...) will be generous and share their equipment.

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by Belial6 (794905)
      Yes! Finally, my crazy survivalist rantings will make women want to take their bra's off for me! I knew that all those years living alone in a shack in the woods would eventually pay off!
      • by Quartz25 (1195075)

        I knew that all those years living alone in a shack in the woods would eventually pay off!

        I hate the woods.

  • 32b to 40c is a "wide variety of sizes"?

    So what am I supposed to do, since My wife has DDD's?

    ~DW

  • 1.) Get to have our lungs protected from harmful dust AND have our women running around "bra-less" Sweet!

    2.) Imagine how much more interesting Emergency Prepardness drills will be now.

  • There is also some noise of a "counterpart device for men" in the works

    My balls aren't that big.

  • Sales of teargas has unexpectedly tripled, leaving the industry to scramble to meet demand...
  • that false alarms will become more frequent :-)

  • This has fetish written all over it. Well, until some big fat sweaty lady in the automotive section at Wal-Mart saves your life with her DD bra! Wait a minute...two fetishes in one!
  • Now I can finally patent my idea for flame-proof underwear.

    I'll be not only safe but stylish with my woman's bra on my face and her matching panties on my head.
  • Just ignore the yellow & brown stains, and save your life!!!!

IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way. -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

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