Australian Visitors Must Declare Illegal Porn To Customs Officers 361
Australian Justice Minister Brendan O'Connor has advised visitors to take a better safe than sorry policy when it comes to their porn stashes, and declare all porn that they think might be illegal with customs officers. From the article: "The government said it changed the wording on passenger arrival cards after becoming aware of confusion among travellers about what pornography to declare. 'People have a right to privacy and while some pornography is legal and does not need to be disclosed, all travellers should be aware that certain types of pornography are illegal and must be declared to customs,' Mr O'Connor said."
What???? (Score:5, Funny)
Yes office, (Score:5, Funny)
"I have some bestiality on my computer, but you can see clearly that the girl is ENJOYING IT!"
It's a safe bet that sheep-shagging smut is OK (Score:1, Funny)
Just saying.
Glad to comply (Score:5, Funny)
Is there some kind of catalog or web site I can browse to see examples of what's legal and not?
As well as declaring all... (Score:5, Funny)
...recent murders committed, houses burgled, cars stolen, heiresses kidnapped, parking tickets ignored, and Australian ministers ridiculed.
I foresee great conversations at the customs booth (Score:3, Funny)
Passenger: So, I read that I have to declare illegal pornography.
Officer: Yes, indeed.
Passenger: Well, I do have something on my laptop, but I don't know whether it's illegal. Would you mind having a look and telling me what you think about it?
something like this? (Score:5, Funny)
Aussie Customs officer: Do you have any illegal porn?
British tourist: I did not know you still need do illegal things to get in here!
Re:Glad to comply (Score:3, Funny)
Is there some kind of catalog or web site I can browse to see examples of what's legal and not?
www.australia.gov.au [australia.gov.au]
...and not?
Pretty much everything else on the internet.
I'm pretty sure they've outlawed "ridiculing Australian censorship laws" a few years ago, so this post is a prime example of what's not legal.
Re:What???? (Score:5, Funny)
After sampling each one, their customs officer will tell you which ones are illegal.
Re:Yes office, (Score:5, Funny)
Re:That's Australia for you. (Score:5, Funny)
Amazing, considering Australia was founded by thieves, murderers and whores.
Politics (Score:1, Funny)
1. I'd like to declare some illegal porn.
2. What do you have?
1. A copy of Going Rogue by Sara Palin.
(Officer proceeds to beat 1 senseless. A passer-by starts taking video).
3. I'd like to declare some illegal porn.
1. What do you have
3. A video of somebody with a copy of Sara Palin's Going Rogue being beaten with a billy-club.
ad infinitum
Re:Yes office, (Score:4, Funny)
> The girl is moot, she's being paid for it, she doesn't have to enjoy it. But think of the dog!
Girls, dogs, sex, porn...
and now you've dragged Moot into this. I've got a bad feeling about this!
is tub girl illegal? (Score:5, Funny)
Hope the customs workers have therapy coverage on their health care plans....
Re:ok, i'll be dumb enough to ask (Score:4, Funny)
I like the cut of your jib (Score:5, Funny)
Yes...it's a good idea. Much fun. But if you really want to creep the guy out - go mental with it.
Tell the customs worker that you have a lot of porn on your laptop and you'd like to declare it. Then show him hundreds of pictures of feet. Just feet. Nothing else. And while he pages through them to determine their legality, act like you are fighting becoming aroused. Moan. Drool a little bit.
For bonus points make it something really odd. Bell towers or Volkswagen bugs or cigar smoking women cutting into birthday cakes.
Remember kids - what's porn for one person may not necessarily be porn for another.
Re:ok, i'll be dumb enough to ask (Score:5, Funny)
That type of porn can come back to haunt you when your wife of 3 years find shit you downloaded back in high school. Lucky for me my wife found it amusing and currently jokes the hell out of me.
Lucky for you, your wife found it amusing and doesn't know how to check time/date stamps on files downloaded "back in high school."
Don't worry, your secret is safe with us.
Re:That's Australia for you. (Score:5, Funny)
It's worse than that; I believe they were British.
Re:Yes office, (Score:5, Funny)
I remember seeing a sex therapist talk about how he was invited to discuss beastiality on a talk show of some kind, and there was a guest who had "married his horse." One of the points the guest tried to explain is that, if a horse didn't consent, you'd be dead.
(Perhaps more interestingly, the punchline of his story was that he asked the guest if it was a female horse, and the male guest was extremely offended at the suggestion that he might have been gay.)
Re:Yes office, (Score:4, Funny)
>Ever seen a frog and a pig getting it on? No, because that would be disturbing
Welllllllllll...............
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVE60zwXx1k [youtube.com]
Re:As well as declaring all... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What???? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:What???? (Score:5, Funny)
After sampling each one, their customs officer will tell you which ones are illegal.
They are welcome to my epilepsy medication but I don't think they will enjoy not being able to stand up for the next twelve hours.
Re:Yes office, (Score:5, Funny)
I don't know about you, but I don't want to eat any adolescent animals that have been running around licking people's privates.
Re:That's Australia for you. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Yes office, (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Yes office, (Score:2, Funny)
So, mister Parrot, choose wisely now... Would you rather be eaten or will you bend over?
If you were a Praying Mantis you wouldn't have to decide between one or the other. [wikipedia.org]
Re:Just mail it to yourself before you board (Score:4, Funny)
You know customs goes through international mail right?
Re:Yes office, (Score:3, Funny)
and now you've dragged Moot into this. I've got a bad feeling about this!
No, it's perfectly okay. Moot wishes to be teh little girl, so that counts as consent.
Re:As well as declaring all... (Score:5, Funny)
No worries mate, if you don't have a criminal record one of our customs officers will give you one at the border.
Re:Yes office, (Score:3, Funny)
And then people will marry turtles.
Re:Yes office, (Score:4, Funny)
I think GP's point is that we don't routinely butcher 14 year olds. Though the idea is intriguing.
Re:Yes office, (Score:3, Funny)
OFFICIAL BALLOT - GENERAL ELECTION
November 4, 2012
Complete the oval ( ) at the left of the name you want to choose. You may vote for a person whose name is not on the ballot by writing in the person's name and municipality of residence in the write in space and completing the oval at the left. If you make a mistake you may ask for a new ballot. DO NOT ERASE.
NATIONAL
_________
UNITED STATES PRESIDENT
Your vote for the candidate for United States President shall be a vote for the elector supporting that candidate.
VOTE FOR ONE:
( ) Rick Santorum
( ) Bill Bukakke
( ) ____________
-
Re:Yes office, (Score:3, Funny)