Underwear Invention Protects Privacy At Airport 325
Thanks to Jeff Buske you don't have to be embarrassed while going through the full body scanners at the airport. Buske has invented radiation shielding underwear for the shy traveler. From the article: "Jeff Buske says his invention uses a powdered metal that protects people's privacy when undergoing medical or security screenings. Buske of Las Vegas, Nev.-Rocky Flats Gear says the underwear's inserts are thin and conform to the body's contours, making it difficult to hide anything beneath them. The mix of tungsten and other metals do not set off metal detectors."
Well... (Score:5, Funny)
When you obscure genitalia, only the outlaws will have genitalia.
Re:Suspecious (Score:3, Funny)
Exactly what I thought. "We can see your junk, better feel around to make sure they're there."
Re:Might save your gonads from radiation too (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Well... (Score:3, Funny)
When you obscure genitalia, only the outlaws will have genitalia.
More accurately, only the outlaws will wear underwear.
Re:Well... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:From a buddy of mine (Score:3, Funny)
Why not do both?
I see you aren't carrying a bomb, and you might want to get this mass checked out by a doctor. This would probably make the scanning more popular, although it might cause people without insurance to act suspicious when flying to get a free scan.
Re:Pat downs (Score:3, Funny)
On the plus side, it feels like wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!
(Stupid sexy Flanders...)
Just for a laugh... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Christmas goose (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Suspecious (Score:5, Funny)
Hello sir, Rape or Radiation?
My wife and I will take radiation; but we are raising our child catholic so
Re:Suspecious (Score:5, Funny)
Grind on the screener's hands while moaning loudly and gyrating your hips. It may not change the official policy, but it will eventually make all the screeners quit.
Well, except maybe the pervy ones.
Re:From a buddy of mine (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Well... (Score:2, Funny)
When you obscure genitalia, only the outlaws will have genitalia.
More accurately, only the outlaws will wear underwear.
Actually, only outlaws will have obscured genitalia. Also reminds me a Futurama quote where one of the cops said "And unblur your face, too!"
Re:Suspecious (Score:4, Funny)
I won't go that far, but I've sent off for the free sample of Extenz, and I'm going to take that before the screening. I'm also thinking about wearing a kilt. I'm hoping they'll ask me if I know what they're going to do so I can say something along the lines of "I've been looking forward to it." Depending on how it goes, I might finish off with a quip like "What, no happy ending?"
Probability that I'll have the balls to go through with it: low
Re:Might save your gonads from radiation too (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Suspicious (Score:3, Funny)
Haha, why not just read playboy before entering scanner.. that way picture should be clear and solid.
Re:Well... (Score:1, Funny)
When you obscure genitalia, only the outlaws will have genitalia.
http://failblog.org/2010/11/23/epic-fail-photos-probably-bad-news-tsa-fail/
Re:Suspecious (Score:4, Funny)
Hold on a second sir. Let me put on my priest robes...
Re:Risks vs. Benefits unknown? (Score:2, Funny)
Is there any level of government intrusion into your privacy that you would object to? Do you have a secret love for Austrian corporals? Do you find yourself admiring black uniforms and jackboots?
Re:Suspecious (Score:5, Funny)
No, it's a "freedom pat".
Re:Suspecious (Score:1, Funny)
Do your balls hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw 'em over your shoulder like a Continental soldier? Ask a T.S.O.!
(No need to get testy, all TSOs are professionally-trained ball-handlers and kid-fiddlers. To professionalize, you must federalize!)
Re:go naked? - strip? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:fuck the tsa (Score:1, Funny)
Sure they do.
They could quit.
But the don't.
So - for every child who is abused because he grows up in a world in which his "private parts may not be touched by anyone unless they're a stranger wearing a uniform and then it's OK" - they're morally culpable.
So do I. So when I opt out on Wednesday, I'm going to suggest that they quit. Not today, not tomorrow, maybe not even next week.
"Sir, this is demeaning to both of us. I can't stop it, but you can. The next time your boss tells you to fondle children, you say NO. I know you're just following policy, but as I'm sure you're aware, policies change. If you don't stop this here and now, you'll be doing full digital rectal exams by this time next year. First one of you that quits and goes public with his reasons becomes a national hero. Show us what it means to be an American. Walk away from this, and find work with an honest security company that actually keeps people safe rather than just fondles people's balls all day long."
Re:Well... (Score:1, Funny)
Look, you don't understand. There was shrinkage ...
Re:Suspecious (Score:2, Funny)
And when the jack booted perv is done, pull a $20 bill out of your pocket, give it to him / her and say "You were magnificent! Thank you thank you!". If you think you can get away with it, give him / her a big sloppy full mouth kiss, too.
Re:Suspecious (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Christmas goose (Score:1, Funny)
Mile deep club.
Re:Well... (Score:1, Funny)
Women don't know about shrinkage.
Re:Suspecious (Score:3, Funny)
And state clearly that if the inspector touches your junk, you're going to send them a bill, just like all your other customers. Just because they're the TSA does not entitle them to a freebie.
Re:Might save your gonads from radiation too (Score:4, Funny)
The goal of the Israelis is airport security. The goal of the TSA is increased pubic acceptance of fascism. You can see the difference.
Most appropriate. Typo. Ever.