Airline to Offer In-Flight Adult Movies 200
Soon the loud passenger who's had too much to drink on your red-eye flight will be the least of your travel worries. Ryanair Airlines chief Michael O'Leary plans to launch an app that will allow passengers to watch porn on their tablets and smartphones during flight. Mr O'Leary told the Sun: "I'm not talking about having it on screens on the back of seats for everyone to see. It would be on handheld devices. Hotels around the world have it, so why wouldn't we?" Best of all, the app could also be used to gamble or play games in case you got bored during the speaking parts of your in-flight adult movie.
Anyone remember that "Bad Idea Jeans" skit on SNL? (Score:3)
You know, the one from the early 90's with a bunch of guys sitting around talking. David Spade says "I knew I should wear a condom...but I figured, hey, when was I ever going to be in Guam again?" Phil Hartman says "I know the guy is coming out of prison, but he says he wants to turn his life around, so Sheila and I are going to give him a place to stay." Bob Odenkirk says "I know it's over, but I'm going to tell my wife about that affair", and so on...
Anyone remember that skit?
Re: (Score:2)
"...when was ever going to be in Haiti again?"
While I'm sure Guam has its own risks, I think at the time the risk of AIDS in Haiti was the "bad idea" behind that particular stunt..
my interpretation (Score:2)
"if she gets pregnant, I'll be long gone" was how I read that
Re: (Score:2)
"if she gets pregnant, I'll be long gone" was how I read that
Exactly, if you caught AIDS it wouldn't be relevant that you never went back to X, you'd still have the disease.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
My thoughts exactly. I had to look at my calendar to confirm it wasn't April 1st. Regardless of people's desire to apparently have limitless access to porn 24/7 and that most people that determined to be looking at smut on a flight can download it to their phones easily enough, I am still trying to fathom that there's a universe and market niche that actually feels compelled to look at porn while in flight, surrounded by hundreds of people. Is the airline also going to hand out tissue packs and "spank sc
Re:Anyone remember that "Bad Idea Jeans" skit on S (Score:4, Informative)
It's RyanAir; this is just a publicity stunt since O'Leary hasn't been in the new recently for stating stupid ideas that'll never happen.
Re:Anyone remember that "Bad Idea Jeans" skit on S (Score:5, Insightful)
It's more that, traditionally, playing pocket billiards is done at home, by your self, or with a very good friend, and not in a cramped tin box sitting next to a stranger.
also, Aircraft air is stale enough without adding the musty odour of after-sex.
Re:Anyone remember that "Bad Idea Jeans" skit on S (Score:4, Funny)
...and not in a cramped tin box sitting next to a stranger.
Speak for yourself.
Re:Anyone remember that "Bad Idea Jeans" skit on S (Score:4, Informative)
I said traditionally.
Re:Anyone remember that "Bad Idea Jeans" skit on S (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Anyone remember that "Bad Idea Jeans" skit on S (Score:4, Funny)
You haven't taken a Metro Transit bus in Seattle for some time, have you?
Damn those metrosexuals.
Re:Anyone remember that "Bad Idea Jeans" skit on S (Score:5, Insightful)
Re: (Score:2)
Would you say the same if you saw a naked ugly couple going at it right at the front entrance to your favorite store?
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Would you say the same if you saw a naked ugly couple going at it right at the front entrance to your favorite store?
Well, yeah... typically the only people that would be distraught
over that are people that were taught that the naked body is
shameful and that sex is dirty, etc.
I wasn't, I guess you were?
Personally I would just shrug and hop over them and go about my day.
Lol, that's funny, you're imagining missionary while I was imagining,
the tree or camel's hump or suspended congress. And why they gotta
be in your way? Let's talk about this.
-AI
Re: (Score:3)
Re: (Score:2)
There is no line to be drawn. It is for you to educate your 5 year old about reality.
Why not hand the kid a reefer to smoke later as part of your "educational program"...?
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
If some find porn more interesting, so what?
You really want to be sat next to somebody with an erection for a few hours? What about when they get up and head for the bathroom doing the "I have an erection" walk? Should we really have to watch that?
Societies have things called 'taboos' for a reason...
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
The GP's reason is probably something along the lines of this eyetracking study [ojr.org]:
Why do men assess genitalia? I don't know, but it is a repeatable phenomenon, so you may as well accept it rather than castigat
Re: (Score:2)
That was good!
I doubt it (Score:5, Insightful)
Re: (Score:2)
Like the Standing-room-only flights
Re: (Score:2)
Yep, I immediately figured it was another one of his publicity stunts. The last one was charging differently for fat passengers IIRC.
They're always entertaining so I don't mind.
Re:I doubt it (Score:4, Insightful)
He already charges more for disabled passengers
or "Early boarding" as it's called, since you can't actually book the front-row seats in advance.
Re:I doubt it (Score:5, Informative)
I suspect you are simply making this up. Ryanair does charge every passenger a fee, I believe it is €0.50 cents to recoup the cost of the services that they provide to disabled passengers. Obviously every other airline does this too, recouping the cost through ticketing charges, though they may not list the charge individually.
I am not aware of any fees for services to disabled passengers, suspect they would be illegal, and the ryanair website explicitly lists things such as wheelchair assistance as being free of charge.
Re: (Score:2)
Yep, I immediately figured it was another one of his publicity stunts. The last one was charging differently for fat passengers IIRC.
Air Asia (Malaysia based budget airline) tried this in 2009, it backfired horribly and they spent more on PR to fix the negative publicity.
Then again, Air Asia has a reputation as a decent budget airline (probably the best budget airline I've flown on, but it's still a budget airline), from what I've heard RyanAir seems to pride itself on being shit.
WCPGW (Score:3)
If there was ever an article that should be tagged "What could possibly go wrong?" it's this one...
Re:WCPGW (Score:5, Funny)
Especially since they're taking out all but one bathroom...
Re: (Score:2)
And making it a pay toilet, to boot.
Re: (Score:3)
If there was ever an article that should be tagged "What could possibly go wrong?" it's this one...
And here's what has already gone wrong: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/355394.stm [bbc.co.uk]
Other way, this would have solved the problem! (Score:4, Insightful)
It should be noted that the RyanAir proposal would actually have eliminated that problem, since he went into a rage when he was PREVENTED from looking at porn...
Re: (Score:2)
Come on, there are worse things to spill on the cabin floor. It's one of the more benign liquid explosives.
Oh great (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Now not only do I have to worry about being seated next to a crying baby, but also if I'll get seated next to a jerk-off. Sounds like a great idea. (rolls eyes)
Why would you fly ryanair?
I spend a fair bit of time in the air, about 24 hours a month, and I'd never consider flying on that bus.
This is not a good advertisement (Score:5, Insightful)
I'm really not sure that I want to be flying on an airline whose chief can't tell the difference between a private hotel room and an airplane with dozens of other people sitting right next to you.
Re: (Score:2)
Re:This is not a good advertisement (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:This is not a good advertisement (Score:4, Insightful)
What was the last porn movie you saw where they made love?
The last one I saw involved a girl taking two gents at one time and both of them gave her a facial.
While I'm sure it's a lovely experience, I don't think that's exactly what people think of.
Re:This is not a good advertisement (Score:5, Funny)
You're watching the wrong kind of porn. There is actually "nice" porn. Although I've never seen a man in it.
Re: (Score:2)
I've seen "nice" porn, made for women by some woman director. It was really, really boring. Which is why "wrong" is subjective, I guess.
Re: (Score:2)
I'd agree that's part of the appeal of lesbian scenes - they tend to not be so harsh. Some straight scenes exist in this category, but they're harder (pun intended) to find.
Re: (Score:2)
But action movies with violence, blood, heavy drug use and other such things are much more better than watching someone making love?
Those are also inappropriate to watch in public. Not everyone wants to see "Texas Chainsaw Massacre," including, very possibly, ME in the next seat. Thanks.
Re: (Score:2)
But action movies with violence, blood, heavy drug use and other such things are much more better than watching someone making love?
Most normal people don't masturbate to violence, blood and heavy drug use. Most people use porn (which is about sex not making love) to masturbate. So you suddenly have the possibility of a slightly intoxicated idiot losing some of his inhibitions and pulling out his todger on the flight.
Think about it: When is the last time you watched porn in company? Would you feel comfortable doing that with strangers? In a public place? On transport...that's what we're talking about here!
Re: (Score:2)
Which is why many air port magazine stands have more porn on them than the local "alternative lifestyle" book/coffee/music/clothing store?
Re: (Score:2)
Those are Airports, places you have to wait in for hours for your aircraft. There's plenty of private places you can be to whack off to said mags before you fly off.
Not only that, but buying it at an airport you're never going to be at again means that some of the shame of meeting someone who KNOWS you bought porn is minimal. That's why 'Lads Mags' have taken off in the UK atleast, there's less of a Stigma in buying Nuts than buying "Dirty MILF Whores Monthly".
We're a strange race sometimes, but there you g
Re: (Score:3)
Not that long ago - the 80s - it wasn't rare to see people oogling playboy/penthouse/hustler on trains and busses. Uncouth, yes, but not that uncommon.
I'm keen on what the new ryan air slogans will be:
Come and Fly with us?
Re: (Score:2)
I'm keen on what the new ryan air slogans will be:
Come and Fly with us?
"Fly and Come with us"
Re: (Score:2)
True. I remember reading on slashdot about a guy being seated next to some dude who was watching hentai with the volume cranked up on his iPod Touch...
Re: (Score:2)
Actually, if people have their own tablets and phones, what's stopping them from taking their own adult films on board. A plane is not the proper place to be watching a porn movie. That movie could easily be seen by the person beside you, behind you, or just someone walking down the aisle.
Airlines can't profit from it if you bring it yourself. They want to distribute and sell the porn.
Re: (Score:2)
I'm really not sure that I want to be flying on an airline whose chief can't tell the difference between a private hotel room and an airplane with dozens of other people sitting right next to you.
Hey! It's a mistake anyone can make.
- Paul Reubens
Re: (Score:2)
Not from the airline that planned to make some areas Standing-room only in order to get more passengers on.
Practical application (Score:5, Insightful)
Preferably handheld devices that can be held in one hand.
Re: (Score:3)
I wonder if it counts as joining the mile-high club if it's with a hand.
Re: (Score:2)
Preferably handheld devices that can be held in one hand.
Imagine how well Siri could "assist" with playback...
"Mommy, why does that man over there keep saying 'rewind' to his phone?"
Skip the movie (Score:5, Insightful)
You haven't flown in a long time have you? (Score:3, Insightful)
Remember those gorgeous young women in thight uniforms? Well. Good news everyone! They kept them on and retirement age be damned! Some need a zimmer frame to get around. The young ones that is.
Re: (Score:2)
the asian airlines still have them on international flights. Of course, if you were to be so rude as to ask for sexual favors, there also are a couple armed marshals (yes, they know martial arts too) aboard who will give you an attitude adjustment. I once was on a flight where a guy sat next to a woman and did something to make her scream, lets just say the police in chicago are gentler with perps......
Re: (Score:2)
Remember those gorgeous young women in thight uniforms? Well. Good news everyone! They kept them on and retirement age be damned! Some need a zimmer frame to get around. The young ones that is.
Depends on the airline. The Canadian airline Westjet has some hot girls in tight skirts on their Las Vegas run from Vancouver and I had a tall leggy blond on Lufthansa offer to do "anything" to make my flight more enjoyable. Her mouth was a couple inches from mine when she made that offer but I was travelling with someone back from Europe at the time so I could not take her up on her offer.
Re:Skip the movie (Score:5, Funny)
They've already thought of that:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfIY24BErBE [youtube.com]
Re: (Score:2)
Dude. Why didn't you warn me NSFW.
Re: (Score:2)
Sure, whatever floats your boat.
Wipes are $5 extra (Score:4, Insightful)
I wouldn't trust those blankets.
Re: (Score:2)
I wouldn't trust those blankets.
Uh, you have a reason to trust them now?
Really? (Score:3, Insightful)
YHBT, HAND (Score:3)
O'Leary is a master at using trolling for free publicity (see his previous proposals for standing-room-only flights and charging passengers to use the toilet, which as far as I know have not come to pass). This is just more free advertising for Ryanair.
Two Things to Note (Score:2)
(2) Michael O'Leary is a well-known attention whore who announces "controversial" ideas like this he knows damn well won't fly^h^h^h go ahead anyway,
Re: (Score:2)
Ryanair are well-known for making their customers jump through ludicrous hoops to get the misleadingly low advertised price (i.e. you won't) and then nickel and dime them every step of the way
Explained brilliantly by Fascinating Aida in this video:
Cheap Flights [youtu.be]
Re: (Score:2)
It's not that bad. You only have to remember 3 things:
1.) Print out the boarding pass before you head to the airport.
2.) Don't buy anything onboard.
3.) Measure and weigh your luggage before you head to the airport. (the limits are draconian)
Never had to pay anything more than the advertised fare + tax + a couple bucks for currency conversion / fees (since I don't
Re: (Score:2)
Never had to pay anything more than the advertised fare + tax + a couple bucks for currency conversion / fees (since I don't live in the UK).
Well, I don't know where you are, but they're still doing bullshit scams like forcing people to pay via their *own* prepaid debit card [telegraph.co.uk] to avoid fees. But of course, if you forget to cancel that card after 6 months, they charge you £2.50 a month for inactivity, and another £10 if it goes into the red because of the fee.
Given that you have to use this card to avoid paying the "additional" card fee, this is an absolutely blatant attempt to set up ludicrous hoops to be jumped through and then scam
Re: (Score:2)
You are right in that yes, it is the price that matters in the group they target. And despite the dodgy fees (they are far from clear but even the big "traditional airlines" do this; last time I booked a flight from lufthansa.com I was required to use PayPal to not have additional "credit card fee" applied to me at checkout...) and these PR stunts their service actually works and they are profitable and you can quite reasonably expect to get you from place a to b at the time they promise to - many cheapo ai
Re: (Score:2)
Well, be careful and you can score some good deals with Ryanair. Sometimes they really offer flights "all fees included" for only a few bucks.
I flew from Germany to Dublin for only 10 EUR total some while ago, and from Germany to Poland for 5 EUR.
Re: (Score:2)
I can get the "nickle-and-diming" argument when talking about in-flight food, but seriously? It's not exactly essential.
PR Stunt (again) (Score:2)
And this is different from my tablet exactly how? (Score:2)
And this is different from my tablet exactly how?
Please put your WHAT in the "upright position"? (Score:3)
This has got to be a new low or high on the list of bad ideas. Are they going to provide extra bathrooms on these flights?
I'm never flying Ryanair, ever (Score:2)
Yawn (Score:4, Insightful)
This is Michael O'Leary just drumming up some free PR by proposing something completely outrageous so that it gets mentioned in all the papers. Last time it was suggesting that they'd charge people to go to the toilet [guardian.co.uk].
That proposal (like this one) will never actually happen.
Re: (Score:3)
Could make a lot of money (Score:2)
If they charge per-view, they could make a lot of money on men trying to beat away their cabin-pressure induced in-flight hardon (won't work and would probably be quite painful - it would be exactly like jacking off with a full-bladder-hardon).
Yeah yeah (Score:2)
Income (Score:2)
1. Someone sits next to me.
2. I take their picture with my camera.
3. I wonder aloud if perhaps I should the picture and video of what they're watching on YouTube.
4. Profit.
Re: (Score:2)
Just cheap publicity of O'Leary (Score:2)
I think I found a new use for the barf bags (Score:2)
The question is whether you can get the stewardess to take it now.
And they could sell KY in-flight at $5 for a tiny single-use tube.
Why a app? (Score:2)
And why would you need a app to watch porn on your own tablet/smartphone?
Yikes (Score:2)
But from where I sat, I could clearly see it. And it wasn't just a Playboy ("....for the interviews"). It was one of those "under the counter"-mags.
I've no problem with people reading and watching all kinds of (legal) stuff in their own homes, preferably with the blinds shut, b
Re: (Score:2)
My wife bought me a playboy subscription. You now why? it has good articles. yes, I like looking at the titties, but some of the interviews were top notch and very honest.
Re: (Score:2)
I would agree with you that the "for the articles" thing is not entirely a joke, based on the few issues I've read.
I think it's part of them being relatively high-class porn.
Why wouldnt we if hotels do it? (Score:2)
Ahem. Because in the plane there is no hotel room around the person?
Anybody who thinks its appropriate to watch an adult movie on his tablet while sitting 30cm away from the neighbor can already do that if he downloads the movie before.
...what? (Score:2)
Hotels around the world have it, so why wouldn't we?
That's a terrible comparison, hotels give you your own private room.
I'd rather not be stuck in a plastic tube 30,000 feet in the air with a bunch of wankers.
The seats are already too small (Score:2)
With the erection it's even worse! We need more space.
Re: (Score:2)
iPads play just fine with web apps ti get the NSFW materials. Just most airlines block that stuff from their in-flight Internet.
Of course, if you watch porn you brought with you now, you tend to get asked to turn it off or leave the plane.
Re: (Score:3)
Is he kidding
Basically, yes. O'Leary periodically says outrageous things about the future of his incredibly awful airline but they rarely materialize. It's about publicity.
Re: (Score:2)
There are some comments here that say that this is nothing but advertising for Ryanair. Well, it worked: I didn't know about their existence before now. And if the airline ever comes to Australia I'm going to avoid them, because I don't want to be stuck next to a person watching offensive material on their handheld.
Yeah here in Aus we have QANTAS. So much better, isn't it:(
Re:Problems with kink? (Score:4, Funny)
Due to Rule 34 I can't tell if you're joking. But it's pretty funny either way.
Re: (Score:2)
rolled in liver and vinegar for that authentic "extra smelly pussy" aroma?
Re: (Score:2)
Then keep your 10 yr old daughter in steerage with the rest of us. High execs fly business class or better.