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Airline to Offer In-Flight Adult Movies 200

Posted by samzenpus
from the one-man-mile-high-club dept.
Soon the loud passenger who's had too much to drink on your red-eye flight will be the least of your travel worries. Ryanair Airlines chief Michael O'Leary plans to launch an app that will allow passengers to watch porn on their tablets and smartphones during flight. Mr O'Leary told the Sun: "I'm not talking about having it on screens on the back of seats for everyone to see. It would be on handheld devices. Hotels around the world have it, so why wouldn't we?" Best of all, the app could also be used to gamble or play games in case you got bored during the speaking parts of your in-flight adult movie.
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Airline to Offer In-Flight Adult Movies

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  • by elrous0 (869638) * on Tuesday November 08, 2011 @03:51PM (#37989118)

    You know, the one from the early 90's with a bunch of guys sitting around talking. David Spade says "I knew I should wear a condom...but I figured, hey, when was I ever going to be in Guam again?" Phil Hartman says "I know the guy is coming out of prison, but he says he wants to turn his life around, so Sheila and I are going to give him a place to stay." Bob Odenkirk says "I know it's over, but I'm going to tell my wife about that affair", and so on...

    Anyone remember that skit?

    • by swb (14022)

      "...when was ever going to be in Haiti again?"

      While I'm sure Guam has its own risks, I think at the time the risk of AIDS in Haiti was the "bad idea" behind that particular stunt..

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward

      My thoughts exactly. I had to look at my calendar to confirm it wasn't April 1st. Regardless of people's desire to apparently have limitless access to porn 24/7 and that most people that determined to be looking at smut on a flight can download it to their phones easily enough, I am still trying to fathom that there's a universe and market niche that actually feels compelled to look at porn while in flight, surrounded by hundreds of people. Is the airline also going to hand out tissue packs and "spank sc

  • I doubt it (Score:5, Insightful)

    by norriefc (1998536) on Tuesday November 08, 2011 @03:53PM (#37989172)
    It's Ryan Air, O'Leary pull these type of stunts every other month just for the free PR
    • by Canazza (1428553)

      Like the Standing-room-only flights

    • Yep, I immediately figured it was another one of his publicity stunts. The last one was charging differently for fat passengers IIRC.

      They're always entertaining so I don't mind.

      • Re:I doubt it (Score:4, Insightful)

        by Canazza (1428553) on Tuesday November 08, 2011 @04:31PM (#37989710)

        He already charges more for disabled passengers
        or "Early boarding" as it's called, since you can't actually book the front-row seats in advance.

        • Re:I doubt it (Score:5, Informative)

          by Albanach (527650) on Tuesday November 08, 2011 @06:51PM (#37992260) Homepage

          I suspect you are simply making this up. Ryanair does charge every passenger a fee, I believe it is €0.50 cents to recoup the cost of the services that they provide to disabled passengers. Obviously every other airline does this too, recouping the cost through ticketing charges, though they may not list the charge individually.

          I am not aware of any fees for services to disabled passengers, suspect they would be illegal, and the ryanair website explicitly lists things such as wheelchair assistance as being free of charge.

      • by mjwx (966435)

        Yep, I immediately figured it was another one of his publicity stunts. The last one was charging differently for fat passengers IIRC.

        Air Asia (Malaysia based budget airline) tried this in 2009, it backfired horribly and they spent more on PR to fix the negative publicity.

        Then again, Air Asia has a reputation as a decent budget airline (probably the best budget airline I've flown on, but it's still a budget airline), from what I've heard RyanAir seems to pride itself on being shit.

  • by Taibhsear (1286214) on Tuesday November 08, 2011 @03:54PM (#37989186)

    If there was ever an article that should be tagged "What could possibly go wrong?" it's this one...

  • Now not only do I have to worry about being seated next to a crying baby, but also if I'll get seated next to a jerk-off. Sounds like a great idea. (rolls eyes)
    • by isorox (205688)

      Now not only do I have to worry about being seated next to a crying baby, but also if I'll get seated next to a jerk-off. Sounds like a great idea. (rolls eyes)

      Why would you fly ryanair?

      I spend a fair bit of time in the air, about 24 hours a month, and I'd never consider flying on that bus.

  • by javakah (932230) on Tuesday November 08, 2011 @03:54PM (#37989196)

    I'm really not sure that I want to be flying on an airline whose chief can't tell the difference between a private hotel room and an airplane with dozens of other people sitting right next to you.

    • by CastrTroy (595695)
      Actually, if people have their own tablets and phones, what's stopping them from taking their own adult films on board. A plane is not the proper place to be watching a porn movie. That movie could easily be seen by the person beside you, behind you, or just someone walking down the aisle.
      • by nepka (2501324) on Tuesday November 08, 2011 @04:09PM (#37989436)
        But action movies with violence, blood, heavy drug use and other such things are much more better than watching someone making love?
        • by swb (14022) on Tuesday November 08, 2011 @04:13PM (#37989476)

          What was the last porn movie you saw where they made love?

          The last one I saw involved a girl taking two gents at one time and both of them gave her a facial.

          While I'm sure it's a lovely experience, I don't think that's exactly what people think of.

        • by SirGarlon (845873)

          But action movies with violence, blood, heavy drug use and other such things are much more better than watching someone making love?

          Those are also inappropriate to watch in public. Not everyone wants to see "Texas Chainsaw Massacre," including, very possibly, ME in the next seat. Thanks.

        • by syousef (465911)

          But action movies with violence, blood, heavy drug use and other such things are much more better than watching someone making love?

          Most normal people don't masturbate to violence, blood and heavy drug use. Most people use porn (which is about sex not making love) to masturbate. So you suddenly have the possibility of a slightly intoxicated idiot losing some of his inhibitions and pulling out his todger on the flight.

          Think about it: When is the last time you watched porn in company? Would you feel comfortable doing that with strangers? In a public place? On transport...that's what we're talking about here!

      • by i.r.id10t (595143)

        Which is why many air port magazine stands have more porn on them than the local "alternative lifestyle" book/coffee/music/clothing store?

        • by Canazza (1428553)

          Those are Airports, places you have to wait in for hours for your aircraft. There's plenty of private places you can be to whack off to said mags before you fly off.
          Not only that, but buying it at an airport you're never going to be at again means that some of the shame of meeting someone who KNOWS you bought porn is minimal. That's why 'Lads Mags' have taken off in the UK atleast, there's less of a Stigma in buying Nuts than buying "Dirty MILF Whores Monthly".
          We're a strange race sometimes, but there you g

          • by mevets (322601)

            Not that long ago - the 80s - it wasn't rare to see people oogling playboy/penthouse/hustler on trains and busses. Uncouth, yes, but not that uncommon.

            I'm keen on what the new ryan air slogans will be:
            Come and Fly with us?

            • by stjobe (78285)

              I'm keen on what the new ryan air slogans will be:
              Come and Fly with us?

              "Fly and Come with us"

      • True. I remember reading on slashdot about a guy being seated next to some dude who was watching hentai with the volume cranked up on his iPod Touch...

      • by Dcnjoe60 (682885)

        Actually, if people have their own tablets and phones, what's stopping them from taking their own adult films on board. A plane is not the proper place to be watching a porn movie. That movie could easily be seen by the person beside you, behind you, or just someone walking down the aisle.

        Airlines can't profit from it if you bring it yourself. They want to distribute and sell the porn.

    • by PNutts (199112)

      I'm really not sure that I want to be flying on an airline whose chief can't tell the difference between a private hotel room and an airplane with dozens of other people sitting right next to you.

      Hey! It's a mistake anyone can make.

      - Paul Reubens

  • by j-turkey (187775) on Tuesday November 08, 2011 @03:55PM (#37989210) Homepage

    "I'm not talking about having it on screens on the back of seats for everyone to see. It would be on handheld devices."

    Preferably handheld devices that can be held in one hand.

    • by steelfood (895457)

      I wonder if it counts as joining the mile-high club if it's with a hand.

    • by geekmux (1040042)

      "I'm not talking about having it on screens on the back of seats for everyone to see. It would be on handheld devices."

      Preferably handheld devices that can be held in one hand.

      Imagine how well Siri could "assist" with playback...

      "Mommy, why does that man over there keep saying 'rewind' to his phone?"

  • Skip the movie (Score:5, Insightful)

    by coinreturn (617535) on Tuesday November 08, 2011 @03:56PM (#37989222)
    And have the flight attendants give blowjobs instead.
    • Remember those gorgeous young women in thight uniforms? Well. Good news everyone! They kept them on and retirement age be damned! Some need a zimmer frame to get around. The young ones that is.

      • by iggymanz (596061)

        the asian airlines still have them on international flights. Of course, if you were to be so rude as to ask for sexual favors, there also are a couple armed marshals (yes, they know martial arts too) aboard who will give you an attitude adjustment. I once was on a flight where a guy sat next to a woman and did something to make her scream, lets just say the police in chicago are gentler with perps......

      • Remember those gorgeous young women in thight uniforms? Well. Good news everyone! They kept them on and retirement age be damned! Some need a zimmer frame to get around. The young ones that is.

        Depends on the airline. The Canadian airline Westjet has some hot girls in tight skirts on their Las Vegas run from Vancouver and I had a tall leggy blond on Lufthansa offer to do "anything" to make my flight more enjoyable. Her mouth was a couple inches from mine when she made that offer but I was travelling with someone back from Europe at the time so I could not take her up on her offer.

    • by sokoban (142301) on Tuesday November 08, 2011 @04:11PM (#37989462) Homepage

      They've already thought of that:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfIY24BErBE [youtube.com]

  • Wipes are $5 extra (Score:4, Insightful)

    by obarthelemy (160321) on Tuesday November 08, 2011 @03:59PM (#37989270)

    I wouldn't trust those blankets.

  • Really? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by ghn (2469034) on Tuesday November 08, 2011 @03:59PM (#37989272)
    If people do not watch porn on their own mobile devices in public places such as planes, it MUST be because the airline does not offer an APP for that.
  • by pnot (96038) on Tuesday November 08, 2011 @04:00PM (#37989290)

    O'Leary is a master at using trolling for free publicity (see his previous proposals for standing-room-only flights and charging passengers to use the toilet, which as far as I know have not come to pass). This is just more free advertising for Ryanair.

  • (1) Ryanair are well-known for making their customers jump through ludicrous hoops to get the misleadingly low advertised price (i.e. you won't) and then nickel and dime them every step of the way. If this is for real, it'll be blatantly (and grossly) overpriced to squeeze yet more money out of the customers. Don't waste your time. Oh, and more importantly...

    (2) Michael O'Leary is a well-known attention whore who announces "controversial" ideas like this he knows damn well won't fly^h^h^h go ahead anyway,
    • by avgjoe62 (558860)

      Ryanair are well-known for making their customers jump through ludicrous hoops to get the misleadingly low advertised price (i.e. you won't) and then nickel and dime them every step of the way

      Explained brilliantly by Fascinating Aida in this video:

      Cheap Flights [youtu.be]

    • by HungWeiLo (250320)
      Ryanair are well-known for making their customers jump through ludicrous hoops to get the misleadingly low advertised price (i.e. you won't)

      It's not that bad. You only have to remember 3 things:

      1.) Print out the boarding pass before you head to the airport.
      2.) Don't buy anything onboard.
      3.) Measure and weigh your luggage before you head to the airport. (the limits are draconian)

      Never had to pay anything more than the advertised fare + tax + a couple bucks for currency conversion / fees (since I don't
      • by Dogtanian (588974)

        Never had to pay anything more than the advertised fare + tax + a couple bucks for currency conversion / fees (since I don't live in the UK).

        Well, I don't know where you are, but they're still doing bullshit scams like forcing people to pay via their *own* prepaid debit card [telegraph.co.uk] to avoid fees. But of course, if you forget to cancel that card after 6 months, they charge you £2.50 a month for inactivity, and another £10 if it goes into the red because of the fee.

        Given that you have to use this card to avoid paying the "additional" card fee, this is an absolutely blatant attempt to set up ludicrous hoops to be jumped through and then scam

        • by zyzko (6739)

          You are right in that yes, it is the price that matters in the group they target. And despite the dodgy fees (they are far from clear but even the big "traditional airlines" do this; last time I booked a flight from lufthansa.com I was required to use PayPal to not have additional "credit card fee" applied to me at checkout...) and these PR stunts their service actually works and they are profitable and you can quite reasonably expect to get you from place a to b at the time they promise to - many cheapo ai

    • by kju (327)

      Well, be careful and you can score some good deals with Ryanair. Sometimes they really offer flights "all fees included" for only a few bucks.

      I flew from Germany to Dublin for only 10 EUR total some while ago, and from Germany to Poland for 5 EUR.

    • If this is for real, it'll be blatantly (and grossly) overpriced to squeeze yet more money out of the customers.

      I can get the "nickle-and-diming" argument when talking about in-flight food, but seriously? It's not exactly essential.

  • This is a PR stunt. They don't plan to do this, just want to get people doing about their airline. This is the same airline that "announced" plans to remove seats and have people stand, and charge to use the toilet on short-hall flights. They have no intention of doing this, they just want your attention.
  • And this is different from my tablet exactly how?

  • by erroneus (253617) on Tuesday November 08, 2011 @04:08PM (#37989418) Homepage

    This has got to be a new low or high on the list of bad ideas. Are they going to provide extra bathrooms on these flights?

  • I wonder if someone has a website of European budget carriers that allow this . . . because I could easily see Vuelling and Czech Air jumping on this. This is important stuff, folks. Otherwise, I'm taking sheets of plastic with me when I travel.
  • Yawn (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Mr_Silver (213637) on Tuesday November 08, 2011 @04:29PM (#37989684)

    This is Michael O'Leary just drumming up some free PR by proposing something completely outrageous so that it gets mentioned in all the papers. Last time it was suggesting that they'd charge people to go to the toilet [guardian.co.uk].

    That proposal (like this one) will never actually happen.

    • Don't get too excited. My (Irish) friend told me it already the pay-to-pee scheme has already started happening. Here's some proof [dailymail.co.uk]. Never underestimate what Michael will do to increase revenues. I would not so easily discount this as just a PR move.
  • If they charge per-view, they could make a lot of money on men trying to beat away their cabin-pressure induced in-flight hardon (won't work and would probably be quite painful - it would be exactly like jacking off with a full-bladder-hardon).

  • O'Leary and Ryanair float these stupid ideas every 6 months - charging for toilets, making everyone stand up etc. I guess it's one way to gain free publicity.
  • by afabbro (33948)

    1. Someone sits next to me.

    2. I take their picture with my camera.

    3. I wonder aloud if perhaps I should the picture and video of what they're watching on YouTube.

    4. Profit.

  • Ryanair's boss Michael O'Leary is known for this kind of brainfarts. He knows the press will talk about it for days, so it is all free publicity. He gives a rats ass about the image of the company, since its image is that they are cheap. More of his brilliant ideas: paying for toilets [dailymail.co.uk], flying without co-pilot and having a flight attended land it in case of trouble [cnn.com] and airplanes with standing room only [telegraph.co.uk]. They run some provoking advertisements too, like giving the finger to their competitors [wikimedia.org], or giving holiday [repubblica.it]
  • The question is whether you can get the stewardess to take it now.

    And they could sell KY in-flight at $5 for a tiny single-use tube.

  • And why would you need a app to watch porn on your own tablet/smartphone?

  • I saw somebody reading a porn-magazine on the train once. He had wrapped it in an exercise-book cover and held it relatively close to his face, so the people next to him couldn't see it. But I doubt they would have appreciated ;-)

    But from where I sat, I could clearly see it. And it wasn't just a Playboy ("....for the interviews"). It was one of those "under the counter"-mags.

    I've no problem with people reading and watching all kinds of (legal) stuff in their own homes, preferably with the blinds shut, b

    • by geekoid (135745)

      My wife bought me a playboy subscription. You now why? it has good articles. yes, I like looking at the titties, but some of the interviews were top notch and very honest.

      • I would agree with you that the "for the articles" thing is not entirely a joke, based on the few issues I've read.
        I think it's part of them being relatively high-class porn.

  • Ahem. Because in the plane there is no hotel room around the person?

    Anybody who thinks its appropriate to watch an adult movie on his tablet while sitting 30cm away from the neighbor can already do that if he downloads the movie before.

  • Hotels around the world have it, so why wouldn't we?

    That's a terrible comparison, hotels give you your own private room.
    I'd rather not be stuck in a plastic tube 30,000 feet in the air with a bunch of wankers.

  • With the erection it's even worse! We need more space.

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