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The Most Dangerous Toys of 2011 292

Posted by samzenpus
from the general-tron's-secret-police-confession-kit dept.
theodp writes "If you've procrastinated on your Xmas shopping this year, fear not: Gawker's just published its tongue-in-cheek 2011 Top Picks for Gifts That Maim or Poison Children. Until President Nixon enacted the first national safety standard for playthings with the Toy Safety Act in 1969, the toy industry was pretty much anything-goes. As a result of the legislation, children may live longer, but they'll never know the joys of many beloved-but-dangerous classics, including Zulu Guns, Jarts, and Clackers."
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The Most Dangerous Toys of 2011

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  • Want! (Score:5, Funny)

    by ackthpt (218170) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @07:57PM (#38392044) Homepage Journal

    What sort of psychology are they playing at here?

    When I was a wee lad we have to burn ourselves with Thing-makers, pinch fingers in gears of Erector sets and poison ourselves with Chemistry sets. Kids today have it much harder.

    • by PopeAlien (164869) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @08:02PM (#38392102) Homepage Journal

      They keep making safer toys we keep making more dangerous children.

      • by davester666 (731373) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @09:52PM (#38393236) Journal

        To think, not so long ago, my siblings and I were all lobbing lawn darts at each other, yet we all lived and didn't even lose an eye.

        • by perpenso (1613749) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @10:11PM (#38393366)

          To think, not so long ago, my siblings and I were all lobbing lawn darts at each other, yet we all lived and didn't even lose an eye.

          Of course only those of us nimble enough to dodge are here to make and read these lawn dart posts. :-)

          • Someone will have to pry my Jarts out of my cold dead hands. I am really glad, my family kept them, I found them a couple of years ago in a box.
          • Really, if you're too slow and unable to avoid a large, brightly colored, hand-thrown dart lobbed in the air, you probably should be driven to school and back and not allowed to play any sport involving more than one person at a time.

            • by tlhIngan (30335) <.slashdot. .at. .worf.net.> on Friday December 16, 2011 @01:23AM (#38394482)

              Really, if you're too slow and unable to avoid a large, brightly colored, hand-thrown dart lobbed in the air, you probably should be driven to school and back and not allowed to play any sport involving more than one person at a time.

              If you're playing with it actively, not a big deal. But then again, the sun does have a nasty habit of getting in your eye, so during the glare of day can make it quite difficult to see.

              And given children may toss it and have it go off in a random direction because they released it wrongly could mean hitting someone who doesn't expect it. Like someone walking down the sidewalk, your neighbour, etc. Nevermind that people seem to be constantly distracted by their cellphones whilst walking down the street to even notice that there might be an object heading their way (this includes street furniture, cars, and lamp posts, too).

          • I Remember (Score:5, Insightful)

            by thegarbz (1787294) on Friday December 16, 2011 @03:41AM (#38395084)

            I remember lawn darts. We lost a lot of stupid kids with that one.

          • by Anonymous Coward on Friday December 16, 2011 @06:32AM (#38395800)

            I remember lawn darts! Damn those were fun. I got hit with one once, right above my left eye. Big fiasco. I don't remember much about it. I've had trouble remembering things since. But I remember that the lawn darts were fun

        • by mjwx (966435) on Friday December 16, 2011 @01:17AM (#38394454)

          To think, not so long ago, my siblings and I were all lobbing lawn darts at each other, yet we all lived and didn't even lose an eye.

          I used to be an adventurous kid until I caught a lawn dart in the knee.

    • Re:Want! (Score:5, Insightful)

      by confused one (671304) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @08:10PM (#38392190)
      I recall accidentally starting a fire in the kitchen with an old chemistry set. Pinched fingers. Injury due to hard objects striking the body. These were the norm. BB guns were considered toys (they are currently classified as firearms in the city I'm living in) I learned to operate lawn mowers, drive tractors, and handle chain saws by my early teen years. You learned to respect things. Kids today are taught to be scared of machines that are safer than "toys" we played with as kids.
      • Re:Want! (Score:5, Insightful)

        by bill_mcgonigle (4333) * on Thursday December 15, 2011 @08:42PM (#38392496) Homepage Journal

        BB guns were considered toys (they are currently classified as firearms in the city I'm living in)

        They don't quite get the 'fire' part, do they?

        Frankly a dartboard set is far more dangerous.

        • Re:Want! (Score:5, Insightful)

          by confused one (671304) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @09:07PM (#38392762)
          No they don't; but, there was an unfortunate accident involving a child shooting another child in the head, with the result of the second child dying. It happened and the reaction of the city council was to lump airguns firing metal projectiles under the same grouping as traditional firearms. It was easier than creating a separate classification with its own enforcement rules, I guess.
          • Re:Want! (Score:5, Insightful)

            by sjames (1099) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @10:47PM (#38393640) Homepage

            Or even harder, recognizing that some accidents are really freak events. They couldn't have been foreseen, probably won't happen again, and suggest no particular preventive action.

          • by rev0lt (1950662)
            Yes, because sliding a nail with a clipped head in the barrel is just out of reach for most children with a BB gun. But yeah, to kill somebody, you'd need to get really lucky.
            • by SeaFox (739806)

              What normal kid would do that and shoot it at another person? You can kill someone with all sorts of household items when they're used maliciously. The solution is to hold individuals to a standard of behavior.

              Or do you suggest we tell kids they can't play baseball anymore because it's possible to use a bat as a weapon? Maybe we shouldn't allow them to butter their own bread, either.

        • Re:Want! (Score:5, Insightful)

          by Forbman (794277) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @09:28PM (#38392990)

          'cept a .22 cal air-powered pellet gun that shoots pellets at 1100 fps might as well be a firearm.

          • Re:Want! (Score:4, Informative)

            by demonlapin (527802) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @09:45PM (#38393164) Homepage Journal
            FPS and pellet weight rules might be in order here. A .22 cal pellet gun that fires at 1100 fps also costs as much as a firearm.
          • Re:Want! (Score:5, Funny)

            by Pulzar (81031) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @09:58PM (#38393304)

            'cept a .22 cal air-powered pellet gun that shoots pellets at 1100 fps might as well be a firearm

            Everybody knows that a human eye can't perceive anything more than 60 fps. You need a pellet gun doing 1100 fps only because you have a small.... oh, wait, wrong thread?

      • Re:Want! (Score:5, Insightful)

        by mirix (1649853) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @08:46PM (#38392544)

        Funny how that works. get rid of chemistry sets, and hobby chemistry becomes an endangered species.

        It doesn't help that buying things as simple as labware probably get you thrown on some 'suspected meth cook' list, either.

        If things were always like that, I imagine we'd still think there were only four elements.

        • by nospam007 (722110) *

          "It doesn't help that buying things as simple as labware probably get you thrown on some 'suspected meth cook' list, either."

          If you're lucky, otherwise Homeland Security might become interested in you.

          • by Mashiki (184564)

            Pretty sure I've still got parts of my old childhood chemistry set floating around somewhere, including some old childhood microscope set from the 50's. I know there was some interesting stuff in both of those. Yep, long gone is the era of unique and neat stuff.

        • It doesn't help that buying things as simple as labware probably get you thrown on some 'suspected meth cook' list, either.

          Labware? In Canada just trying to buy nasal decongestant tablets is enough to require asking the chemist (the tablets are behind the counter), showing photo-ID and having your name recorded. When I asked why I had to do this when tablets with exactly the same decongestant, but including paracetamol (acetaminophen) as well, were on the shelves the reason given was that without the paracetamol the tablets can be used to make meth.

          So by the time you are up to labware I'm sure you are being added to a terro

          • by artor3 (1344997)

            Don't feel too bad about Canada. We have the exact same restrictions on buying pseudoephedrine in the states, for the exact same reason.

            • Our restrictions are worse, actually. Down here, EVERY pseudoephedrine product is behind the counter, even the products with APAP or other active ingredients that would be nearly impossible to make meth with.

            • Yet the requirements to buy pseudoephedrine are about the same as buying a long gun in my state and take the same amount of time. In both cases you go and show you ID to the sales person, the go and enter some data, you sign and walk out after paying for your item. The biggest difference is that when buying a long gun you can actually hold it and check it out before you purchase it.
            • by arth1 (260657)

              Whenever I buy cough remedies requiring registration, I make sure to combine the purchase with something else, just to amuse the poor DHS/DEA clerks.

              Ok, so this guy bought NyQuil and ... french ticklers?

          • by ceoyoyo (59147)

            Assuming you're from the UK because of the word choices, pseudoephedrine incompletely illegal there. The chemist gave me a good long look when I went in and asked for it.

            • by Bowdie (11884)

              incompletely illegal?

              I can confirm that pseudoephedrine is legal here in the UK. I have some on my desk right now. You do have to ask for the correct sudafed as the good stuff is always behind the counter, but that's just modern life. ;)

      • Re:Want! (Score:5, Funny)

        by rev0lt (1950662) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @10:58PM (#38393686)
        You make me remember when I told my mum I was going to try some explosive recipes - and she replied very fast that if I want to do a mess and try explosives, to do it outside because she's not cleaning the kitchen.
    • Re:Want! (Score:5, Insightful)

      by hairyfeet (841228) <.bassbeast1968. .at. .gmail.com.> on Thursday December 15, 2011 @09:45PM (#38393174) Journal

      Oh don't forget lawn darts, the "Hey lets throw sharp stakes at each other!" toy for the whole family, hell they even had a "Mr Atomic" chem set, I wonder if those kids glow in the dark now?

      This reminds me of the old SNL bit, anybody remember Akroyd getting grief over his company's toys like "Johnny switchblade" or the "human torch" costume which was just some gas soaked rags and some matches?

      But compared to the stuff we had when I was a kid the stuff on the list is a fricking joke! heck when I was a kid we all had minibikes starting as young as 5! Nobody wore helmets, everybody had ramps, the answer to every injury was "put a bandaid on it" and we all drove like maniacs! I can still remember buzzing around my small town at 8 with a giant 8 track duct taped to the handlebars so I could blast Kiss Alive II as I scared the neighbors dogs. We all had lawn darts and played with fireworks and yet we all managed to survive just fine!

      I have to wonder if this isn't just "the march of the morons" at play here, as we at least had enough common sense not to do things REALLY stupid. Nowadays it seems like we are trying to babyproof the planet, are kids really THAT much stupider than when we were kids?

      • Re:Want! (Score:5, Insightful)

        by Baloroth (2370816) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @09:53PM (#38393248)

        are kids really THAT much stupider than when we were kids?

        I don't think so, but the parents are that much dumber. Or less attentive (same thing, really.)

      • Re:Want! (Score:5, Insightful)

        by rev0lt (1950662) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @11:19PM (#38393822)

        But compared to the stuff we had when I was a kid the stuff on the list is a fricking joke! heck when I was a kid we all had minibikes starting as young as 5!

        Today kids have that too. My almost-three-year old daughter has a bike that rides like the devil himself is behind her, and sometimes get some nice bruises from falling. She wears a helmet (hey I'm not stupid) and more clothing than average, and we try to watch her all the time, but she's pretty independant. More than I was with her age - she uses the bathroom, can count to 20, can sing whole songs, recognize some numbers, can use the fridge and pick her food, can go to the cabinet and pick silverwear without picking the knives, can say many words, and - since I've been showing her some american Sesame Street videos, she can say some english words. And when she plays outside, she sometimes eats dirt.
        In contrast, I have some fellow parent friends with children of the same age that don't eat solid food and live in constant fear of germs. Everything must be sanitized. Who do you think is the bigger kid? :D
        The problem is that my parent's generation was too laxing (mercury? eat it, is good for something or it wouldn't be in your food), and the current parents are too misinformed (everything is a threat and will kill your child! with mercury!), and there's no middle ground. And parents are such an easy prey for marketing pitches...

        • Re:Want! (Score:5, Interesting)

          by hairyfeet (841228) <.bassbeast1968. .at. .gmail.com.> on Friday December 16, 2011 @03:25AM (#38395012) Journal

          I think you misunderstand dude, when I say "minibike" I mean with actual gasoline motors, goes about 50MPH. I actually didn't learn to ride a pedal bike until I was 11 because i always had a motorbike. my first bike was a Honda 50 minitrail at 5 years old! Everyone called it the mad bee for the sound that thing made, a high pitched 'meeeeeer' as i whiped through our little town (pop 350 on a good day). Lucky for mom we had a collie or she'd have never been able to get me home! She'd just stick her head out and tell the dog "Go fetch him for supper" and Ruffles would go flying after the sound and when he caught me he'd bark at me and head towards the house. Man I miss that dog, nothing like a really smart dog.

          I agree though that parents go too damned far the other way. I had a little girl bump into me and the grocery store and when I said "excuse me little miss" I actually heard her momma say "stranger danger". Well needless to say I went off like an atom bomb on that mom and told her that if she and the other parents would be more worried about teaching their kids good manners instead of being afraid of invisible bogeymen the world would be a better place, all the people in the store cheered. Its sad things have gotten so stupid that when one of the children downstairs held the door open for me when I was loaded down and said "here you go sir" i actually went and knocked on his mom's door just to tell her what a polite and well mannered child she had.

          Its just nuts, no wonder so many kids are fat and diabetic, their damned parents won't even let them go play anymore! We rode motorbikes, ran like wild injuns, did we get hurt? Hell yes, but what don't get you makes you stronger and gives you some killer stories to go with the scars, like the time I am sitting in an ER with a nice little puddle of blood in front of me where I did a faceplant at 60MPH thanks to a damned dog trying to bite my front wheel, and I'm sitting next to a kid that is holding the holes in his throat together where he popped over a field into a barb wire fence on a 3 wheeler, and we are both just laughing our asses off higher than kites because the ER doc took one look at the two of us and said "Look I know that has GOT to hurt but we had some kids flip a convertible and couple of them are missing limbs, so if I give you two a shot of morphine will you be alright?" We just looked at each other and stuck out our arms and were laughing like loons inside of 10 minutes, good stuff that morphine.

          Kids today in their sterile little living spaces just don't know what fun is. My boys rode bikes (sadly their mother wouldn't let me get them the motor kind after my little face plant, I told her losing a few inches of skin builds character) and went swimming with the fishes in actual creeks, they had FUN dammit! It did them good too, as age may have finally got up with me and given me the family beer belly both boys are lean and trim and the oldest is constantly being asked out by the little campus cuties.

      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by m50d (797211)
        There's a selection bias here; the kids who died aren't here posting about how all that stuff never hurt them.

        As life gets better it becomes more valuable, and smaller and smaller dangers become unacceptable. That's progress for you.

    • You were modded funny, but i think your post is actually insightful. The article is an attempt to poke fun at these "dangerous" toys. However, compared to the toys i remember these seem about as dangerous as a sponge. I can only assume it's written by someone who's much younger than I (40). Rather than a collection of amusingly poorly thought out toys, the article illustrates how generations following mine are big sissies.

      I too had a thingmaker so i assume you are a child of the early 70s. We had to con
  • by Master Moose (1243274) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @07:59PM (#38392066) Homepage

    You'll lose an eye

  • by wiggles (30088) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @08:00PM (#38392076)
    ...were covered 30 years ago here [hulu.com].
    • Well gosh, I dunno, you know, that Irwin Mainway High Voltage Power Supply only naturally goes with the 1KW CO2 Kid's Laser and the Junior Taser Experimenter's Kit and the Pet Restraints. And when I was a kid I enjoyed my Bag of Broken Glass and the stains were easy to get off the floor except for that one time. Kids. So coddled these days.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday December 15, 2011 @08:15PM (#38392244)

    When I was a lad (50's/60's) we had a toy where you'd melt some metal (lead? or something with a low melting point anyway) in a little crucible over a burner and pour the result into a mold. It would cool and form a little metal soldier figure, whereupon you'd take the two sides of the mold apart and out it would fall.

    I'm sure a few trips to the ER were caused somewhere or another due to this toy, but you know, I'd rather not lived in the kind of dumbed down idiot-proof world that comes from trying to save people from themselves. That's a surefire way to breed more idiots.

    • by simcop2387 (703011) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @08:37PM (#38392438) Homepage Journal

      It was probably wood's alloy. It's got a nice low melting temperature around 80C-90C and would probably have been perfect for those kinds of toys.

    • by bill_mcgonigle (4333) * on Thursday December 15, 2011 @08:49PM (#38392568) Homepage Journal

      I'm sure a few trips to the ER were caused somewhere or another due to this toy,

      I totally burned the shit out of my thumb when I was a kid, by melting some glass with my dad's propane torch and generally being an idiot.

      I did it again (to my palm) when I first bought a house and installed a boiler and had my hand directly under a solder joint (yeah, I way over-flowed that joint).

      Hot molten shit hurts. A lot. I now have good plumbing gloves (never swung for the third strike after that). Besides learning to buy gloves, I'm now very aware of the dangers of being between the dangerous thing and the Earth's core. It would be great if we could give kids a big list of "don't do that" but humans seem to learn better from experience.

      but you know, I'd rather not lived in the kind of dumbed down idiot-proof world that comes from trying to save people from themselves. That's a surefire way to breed more idiots.

      Well, that is the point. Idiots are easy to control. When people are farmed as livestock for 'their' tax money, having rambunctious ones just decreases the profit per head. Best to keep them calm, dumb, and in front of reality TV.

      • I'm sure a few trips to the ER were caused somewhere or another due to this toy,

        I totally burned the shit out of my thumb when I was a kid, by melting some glass with my dad's propane torch and generally being an idiot.

        You don't need "tools" or "toys" - when I was 5, I tested what this "it's HOT! you'll BURN YOURSELF!" stuff was all about with my index finger on an iron. Lost the fingerprint on the tip of that finger - and yet, I lived.

        • by FSWKU (551325) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @11:00PM (#38393702)

          You don't need "tools" or "toys" - when I was 5, I tested what this "it's HOT! you'll BURN YOURSELF!" stuff was all about with my index finger on an iron. Lost the fingerprint on the tip of that finger - and yet, I lived.

          And sadly enough, it would be a completely different story for a kid today. The mother would scream her lungs out and floor it to the ER in her SUV (endangering tons of people along the way). Once there, she would scream at the charge nurse for having to wait behind a multiple-GSW patient who is bleeding into his lungs. After finally seeing a PA, she would get the same advice most people used to take for granted - put some ointment on it, keep it cool and dry, and make an appointment with the family doctor if it doesn't get better in a couple of days.

          Oh yeah, and you better believe she would call for a MASSIVE lawsuit against the manufacturer of the iron because it was "too hot" and her precious little snowflake is now "permanently disfigured."

      • by SEWilco (27983)

        I totally burned the shit out of my thumb when I was a kid, by melting some glass with my dad's propane torch and generally being an idiot.

        Dad's propane torch? I bought the home's only propane torch. So I could blow my own laboratory glassware. Molten glass shrapnel from a blowout is oh so much more entertaining.

    • Metal Molders, 1997. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=El9DwAycF04 [youtube.com]
    • i have to believe that it isn't really the toy that induces creative brain-building play in children. in their toddler years my kids were usually more interested in creating forts out of Christmas boxes and wrapping paper than in playing with the actual toys that came in them. i doubt we are creating idiocy by tagging absurd toys as unsafe at any speed.
    • by PCM2 (4486)

      When I was a lad (50's/60's) we had a toy where you'd melt some metal (lead? or something with a low melting point anyway) in a little crucible over a burner and pour the result into a mold. It would cool and form a little metal soldier figure, whereupon you'd take the two sides of the mold apart and out it would fall.

      I did this with my grandfather in the early 1980s. The molds were his from when he was young, but I'm pretty sure we went and bought the metal in a hobby shop. It definitely had lead in it, but it was some kind of alloy. This was in England, BTW.

    • When I was a lad, we didn't have such a toy - we made it ourselves, out of discarded auto batteries. Yeah, that was lead alright. Molds were made from clay, and you used a steel cup or something similar to melt the lead in.

      That was late 80s / early 90s. Then again, that wasn't U.S.

    • by westlake (615356)

      When I was a lad (50's/60's) we had a toy where you'd melt some metal (lead? or something with a low melting point anyway) in a little crucible over a burner and pour the result into a mold. It would cool and form a little metal soldier figure, whereupon you'd take the two sides of the mold apart and out it would fall.

      The cast metal hobby ("tin soldiers") is still very much alive.

      The starter kit will cost about $25-$50. The Dunken Company [dunken.com]

      The difference is that - like many thiings - it has become an adult hobby. The molds will set you back about $20 each for a 54mm WWII soldier. These are substantial high-quality miniatures meant for hand painting.

      "Model Metal" about 300 F. "Tin" 485 F.

      I'd rather not lived in the kind of dumbed down idiot-proof world that comes from trying to save people from themselves. That's a surefire way to breed more idiots.

      Lamarckism, I see, is alive and well in the geek.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday December 15, 2011 @08:19PM (#38392276)

    Now they're worried about foam darts. Not to mention the velocity difference.

  • Many of the toys on this list aren't very dangerous. I'd go as far as saying that a pencil is more dangerous than every single one of them. I can't fathom why this article appeared on this website.

    • Agreed, It is a sad reflection of our cotton-wrapped world that this list constitutes even one persons idea of dangerous toys.

    • I'd go as far as saying that a pencil is more dangerous than every single one of them.

      Agreed. Which is why we should ban them from our classrooms. [kqed.org]

      (Note that the above link is not serious. On the other hand, if you read the reasons, these reasons have been used in plenty of other cases...)

    • by ShakaUVM (157947)

      Many of the toys on this list aren't very dangerous. I'd go as far as saying that a pencil is more dangerous than every single one of them. I can't fathom why this article appeared on this website.

      From TFA: Obviously you haven't seen the type of damage two large plastic blocks can cause when kids fall off it because they're trying to play NBA on stilts.

    • by owlnation (858981)

      Many of the toys on this list aren't very dangerous. I'd go as far as saying that a pencil is more dangerous than every single one of them. I can't fathom why this article appeared on this website.

      I can fathom it: 1. viral marketing. 2. Samzenpus

      They day samzenpus posts an article that isn't "idle", or sub-idle actually, will be the day that we all have our own personal Nuclear Fusion generators.

    • by Qzukk (229616)

      I have absolutely no love lost for companies that turn to cadmium when lead gets too hard to smuggle in to the product, but yeah, most of this is bullshit that we survived and in doing so, we became stronger, smarter, and given slightly reduced depth perception.

  • Erm, are you serious [amazon.com]?

    How are they raising kids these days in the USA? Perpetually strapped into a car seat? I don't see any other way in which you could prevent them from "maiming" themselves with such murderous toys as those. I mean, they could get the hang of climbing stairs!!!11!!11!eleven
  • Lame (Score:5, Insightful)

    by oldmac31310 (1845668) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @08:26PM (#38392348) Homepage
    I RTFA just to make sure it would be as lame as I expected. It is. The Gawker sites are just a horrible waste of space. Less of this crap please!
    • Re:Lame (Score:5, Informative)

      by guruevi (827432) <evi AT smokingcube DOT be> on Thursday December 15, 2011 @09:30PM (#38393016) Homepage

      I agree, I RTFA, most of the stuff isn't even dangerous (as far as I consider dangerous) and some of the other stuff should (or is) recalled for being either badly constructed or using certain (what should be illegal) chemicals.

      Trampoline - who never used a trampoline? Just because the lingo is lawyer-proof doesn't make it a bad toy.
      Foam-shooting Bow - As with any shooting toys (Nerf comes to mind) kids should be thought how to use it well. I made freaking real bows by soaking hard wood tree branches in water, some rope and a couple of my mother's plant-straightening bamboo sticks as arrows. Yeah, I bruised and cut my fingers and hands several times either making the bow or shooting the arrow with it's sharp edges and it was inaccurate as shit but I didn't aim to kill anyone. Are kids really that stupid these days?
      Plastic sword - Same as the bow or a baseball bat. You learn real quickly that these things hurt if you get hit yourself. Several wooden sword fights with my brother and other kids made that clear to me.
      Very low stilts - How is that dangerous? You can fall and hit your head or twist your ankle but that's how kids learn. You want to tie them down to a chair so they'll die of boredom?
      Shrinky dinks - What's dangerous about a heating chamber? Those things zapping anyone how exactly? Unless there's some really shoddy engineering and the wires are exposed inside I don't understand. A halogen light bulb is hot. I touched one before. A stove exhaust pipe is hot, found out when standing too close to it trying to heat up in winter.
      Playmobil - Make it illegal with huge fines to make products with such chemicals intended for kids. Not slap-of-the-wrist pay this $500k settlement so everyone gets a $1 coupon on their next purchase but "the families affected will own 30% of your company if you fuck up".
      Swiss army weapon - You're a moron. Couldn't find anything dangerous after 4?

      • by Pentium100 (1240090) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @11:43PM (#38393972)

        Not slap-of-the-wrist pay this $500k settlement so everyone gets a $1 coupon on their next purchase but "the families affected will own 30% of your company if you fuck up".

        In my opinion a huge fine (for example, combined income of the product sold in the country + some fixed amount) that goes to the government is better. The families affected should only receive compensation for the actual damage (treatment costs etc), so that nobody gets the idea of deliberately exposing their child to those toys with those chemicals (hmm, this toy has lead and cadmium, probably the company will get fined soon) just so they could profit from it.

        There would probably be less microwaved dogs if the owner of the dog only got the money for a new dog (or however you determine the financial loss of a dog dying) and not $100k because the user manual of the microwave does not state that you shouldn't put a live dog in it, unless you intend to kill it.

    • I'm still not convinced the article wasn't a sarcastic commentary on how stupidly safe toys have become.

    • by thegarbz (1787294)

      No these are the biggest risks that our children face today. Seriously all the other toys on the market are not remotely as dangerous as these. I will know now to keep my kids away from these to further ensure their safety.

      Mind you I don't have time to go christmas shopping because I need to supervise my kid at all times so he can't attempt to stand up. I haven't received my critical child protective equipment yet [thudguard.com] and I'll be damned if I let him do something as dangerous as try and stand up without it!

      - A c

  • by edxwelch (600979) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @08:40PM (#38392474)

    trampolines, plastic bow and arrows, etc. are deadly, but rifles and shotguns are okay for children?
    http://www.crickett.com/ [crickett.com]

    Only in America

    • by meloneg (101248)

      You got me all excited thinking Crickett had a kid's shotgun. Tease.

      My daughter loves her Pink Crickett. Although, US law does require that, technically, I own it until she's 21.

    • Weird isn't it. I grew up around guns. Was given my first BB gun at 9yrs old. Handled and fired rifles and revolvers by my early teens. Of course I was also cutting grass, splitting wood, and driving a tractor by that age. Almost unthinkable today, in most places. Hold on, I have to go tell my kids to be careful with that foam ball...
    • by demonlapin (527802) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @09:56PM (#38393276) Homepage Journal
      I got my first BB gun at six, my first rifle (still have it, a nice little straight-shooting .22) at ten, and my first shotgun at eleven. Hell, I'm still using the 20-gauge shotgun I got at thirteen - Winchester ran a pretty neat deal, you bought the gun with a short "youth" stock and you sent in a coupon for an adult-sized stock a couple of years later. It's an absolute pleasure to use on the sporting clays range.

      Guns are lots of fun, you just have to respect that they're inherently dangerous objects. Kids who grew up with guns are, in my experience, a lot less likely to do stupid stuff with them, because their dad took them out when they were six and blew a watermelon into a fine mist with one and said "that's what it will do to your head". Those who meet guns for the first time at 19-20 are a lot more cavalier.
    • by evilviper (135110) on Friday December 16, 2011 @05:49AM (#38395592) Journal

      trampolines, plastic bow and arrows, etc. are deadly, but rifles and shotguns are okay for children?

      To tell you the truth... yes. Go look up some casualty statistics for yourself. It's not unusual to see rather young kids walking around carrying their own rifles when up in hunting country. And yet accidents are exceptionally rare.

      Now, if rifles shot candy 90% of the time, and live ammo 10% of the time, you'd have a real point... There's a big difference when you're talking about a dangerous tool, versus a toy that is supposed to be safe, but which sometimes does maim (or kill) when used (at least mostly...) as instructed.

      If this is falling on deaf ears, and "gun" is just a scary word to you, many parents also give their kids knives, matches/lighters, hatchets, axes, etc., etc. at fairly early ages. If you're still aghast at the very idea, all I can say is that life in rural areas just doesn't resemble life in the city, and kids learning how to be responsible and take care of themselves at an early age is actually a good thing. You're worried about the kid innocently walking around carrying his hunting rifle, I'd be more worried about the kid without one, walking through bear and cougar territory.

      With the majority of people living in cities, and the ratio only rising, I can't help but wonder what's being lost. On the other hand, absolutely everybody moving out to the country would be devastating, so it's actually a good thing for the rest of it.

  • Conkers (Score:5, Interesting)

    by sqldr (838964) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @08:42PM (#38392504)

    Probably not so popular on the other side of the atlantic, but here in Britain, every october is conker season, where we attach horse chessnuts (invariably hardened by baking, soaking in vinegar, hand cream, galvanisation, you name it) to string, then smash them into an opponent's conker (or your own elbow if you miss) until one shatters into many pieces. If you drop it, you have to try to pick it up while your opponent repeatedly stamps on it. Joy and safety goggles all round!

  • by istartedi (132515) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @09:13PM (#38392824) Journal

    New! From China, it's little Clara Cadmium. Lick her tummy and hear her giggle. Feed her led pellets and watch her gain weight. Realistic BPA-based skin is soft to the touch. Just $9.99. Turn the price upside down and learn little Clara's secret.

  • by Nonillion (266505) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @09:29PM (#38393002)

    I used to have a set of Clackers in the mid 70's, nailed myself in the head once, smashed a finger or two but it wasn't long before the novelty wore off. Even had a set of steel tipped Yard Darts, never had an accident. Perhaps the coolest toy I ever had were the electrified versions of Hot Wheels called Sizzlers. You plugged them into a charging station that held four "D" cell batteries, was shaped like a gas pump and held the top button down for 60 seconds (I always held it down for two or three minutes), unplugged them, turned the power switch on the bottom of the car and raced them on a track...

    Ahhh, memories..

    • You must be that same age as me! I had Clackers and Sizzlers - loved them both - but I used my clackers as a sort of bolos weapon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bolas) - I used to fling them at posts, poles, small trees and occasionally the dog.

      Sizzlers rocked!! I took mine apart and taped a 9-volt battery to the roof and wired it to the motor. That made them go like a bat out of hell!

  • by cvtan (752695) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @09:37PM (#38393074)
    Who could forget the "Bag o' Glass" from SNL?
  • by PopeRatzo (965947) * on Thursday December 15, 2011 @09:54PM (#38393252) Homepage Journal

    For the record, "Dangerous Toys" was the name of my '80s hair band. We disbanded in 1991 after our second album, titled Jarts in my Heart. We reunited in 2000 for a world tour, but we had to abandon it when my hernia started acting up and the bass player's hair plugs got infected. I told him it was gonna happen if he didn't wash his bandanna a little bit more often, but you know how bass players are. We used to know which way the stage was slanted by which side of his mouth had the drool coming out. You know what you do if your bass players drowning? Throw him his amp. How do you tell if the bass player's out of tune? You don't.

    Anyway, I'd still be playing with them if they just made spandex tights in a relaxed fit. These days, I need a skosh more room in the seat and waist if I'm going to do the jumping in the air splits while windmilling chords on my Dimebag Darrell Signature three-pickup 7 string guitar, which I could totally still do. But not in these tights. That ship has sailed. Nowadays, I just take them out on the odd night when the classic rock station is playing a Get the Led Out commercial-free album set of Houses of the Holy.

  • Have a set of original 1971 clackers in the kitchen drawer. Already introduced our 5-yo daughter to them - she can already do them better than me. I just cower, expecting them to explode violently...
  • Mine (Score:4, Funny)

    by the eric conspiracy (20178) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @10:55PM (#38393672)

    Dangerous Toy? My new BMW M3.

  • Bubbly sarcasm is just about the most obnoxious tone in written communication. How did this make slashdot, exactly?
  • by rubycodez (864176) on Thursday December 15, 2011 @11:25PM (#38393856)
    and they ban the things? what a bunch of psychological marshmallows we've become. The body count for hot dog chokings goes into the thousands, bicycle made corpses would stack to the stratosphere....
  • They still sell clackers at the street fairs here in Tucson, AZ. When I mention to the locals about how I thought clackers were banned, everyone looks at me as if I am crazy. Tucson is very "Live and let your children break their forearms."

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