19-Year-Old Squatted At AOL For 2 Months 141
New submitter mrnick writes "Eric Simons, 19 years old, was working at incubator Imagine K2 in Silicon Valley, which was hosted at AOL's Palo Alto campus. His grant money eventually ran out, but his access badge kept working, so he moved into AOL's office. He slept on a couch, took showers and washed clothes in the office gym, and ate for free in the cafeteria, all the while working on his new start-up. He was able to get away with this for two months before being discovered by security guard."
Hmmm ... (Score:5, Funny)
free hours (Score:5, Funny)
i guess his 1,460.9688 free hours of aol finally ran out!
incubator? (Score:4, Funny)
well, did he at least get to keep the eggs??
(cue woody allen joke about brother who thinks he's a chicken; but the family lets him continue on; they need the eggs.)
Returning to your room at the end of the day... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Hmmm ... (Score:5, Funny)
Maybe AOL can stay relevant by being a start-up hotel?
Call me spoiled but I don't think I could handle a dial up hotel.
Re:Hmmm ... (Score:5, Funny)
It would take 30 seconds to dial-out a request for water to shower with. Then you have to wait for the heat to download. Once you finally have hot water, it will randomly shut off and there you stand, shivering. So you decide to give up and get out but when you reach for the towel, its only partially there and corrupted. So you make a request for the rest of the towel, wait 30 seconds for the connection again, and realize that you have to start the download over so you try to make the partial towel work for your needs only to realize that its just not going to work. So you go ahead and restart the towel download but it instantly shows complete, but yet there is no towel. Now you have to wait on AOL to clear your cache, start the download again, and get disconnected once more. You would jump out the window but a request to open it would just be futile.
Re:That's nothing (Score:5, Funny)
I did not know that EA had a programming office in Inglewood, CA. and you got to sleep near rattlesnakes? Were you a lead on a project? The rest of us had to sleep WITH the rattlesnakes.
Reminds me of the high tech manager lion joke (Score:5, Funny)
Two lions escape from the zoo. One kills and eats a human on the street, and is subsequently hounded down and killed.
The other hides in the headquarters of a high tech company, and lives a long and peaceful life.
It eats middle level managers, and nobody even notices or cares.
the phone company does this too (Score:2, Funny)
cleaning up my Mom's estate in the late 90s, i discovered she had been paying rental on a wall-mounted rotary phone for nearly 15 years - the phone company said to keep the phone when service was disconnected
I've been doing that for years ... (Score:5, Funny)
... in my mom's basement
Re:I've been doing that for years ... (Score:5, Funny)
... in my mom's basement
Dude - you know that food you regularly find at the top of the stairs? That means she knows you're down there.
Re:Hmmm ... (Score:5, Funny)
Is this the last teenager still using AOL?
Re:AOL Offices (Score:4, Funny)
It's strange what happens reading the article
"[Plus] they had their own laundromat there, so I'd wash my clothes there."
Re:Security? (Score:2, Funny)
In the data centre I worked at they had firewalls every five feet of cable (six if it was cat6 cable). You had to enter your username and passwird at each one.
They knew where your packets were within 5-6 feet at all times.
Re:AOL still exists? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:AOL still exists? (Score:3, Funny)
AOL's brand is so strong among the technically illiterate that some people actually thing that AOL is the "Internet," is "Email," is "instant messenger," etc.
Whaat? You mean to tell me that AOL isnt these things? Damn and all those years...
And so (Score:4, Funny)
For the first time ever, AOL actually proved to be good for something. Naturally they put a stop to that as soon as they found out.
Compare AOL and US border security (Score:5, Funny)
This is probably the conversation the manager had once he got caught squatting at AOL...
Security: "Sir, we've caught a guy who has overstayed his work visa and has been illegally squatting in our corporate campus for three months."
Manager: "Damn! What damage has he caused?"
Security: "None sir, he's been working on some start up project to link teacher's educational materials together."
Manager: "Really? How much are we paying him?"
Security: "Ummm... nothing. He's doing it a part of our K12 Imagine incubator that we are running. However he's been eating our cereal, drinking our soda, and sleeping on our couches."
Manager: "What has he been doing all day? Surfing the internet?"
Security: "As far as we can tell he's been programming 12 to 16 hours a day."
Manager: "..."
Security: "Should we call the police sir?"
Manager: "Hell No! Ask if needs pillows. One more thing, get me ten more of these 'squatters'"
Now contrast this with the United States Border Patrol...
Border Security: "Sir, we've caught a guy who has overstayed his work visa and has been illegally squatting in the United States work force for three years."
INS: "Damn! What damage has he caused?"
Border Security: "None sir, he's been working in an orchid picking oranges for a farmer that can't get anyone else to do it. In fact the person is extremely peaceful as they want to ensure that no one calls the police about them and causes them to be noticed."
INS: "Really? How much is he being paid?"
Border Security: "Ummm... minimum wage, and he's paying taxes. He's doing it a part of our American Dream incubator that we are running. However he's been shopping at our stores, going to our movies, and using our services."
INS: "What has he been doing all day? Watching television?"
Border Security: "As far as we can tell he's been working two jobs to support his family and save money."
INS: "..."
Border Security: "Should we deport him sir?"
INS: "Hell Yes! Make sure you deport him hundred of miles away to make it harder for him. One more thing, build me a bigger, better fence."
He was going to leave... (Score:3, Funny)