Fundamentalist Schools Using "Nessie" To Disprove Evolution

Fundamentalist Schools Using "Nessie" To Disprove Evolution 936

Posted by samzenpus on Monday June 25, 2012 @03:02PM from the tell-them-about-the-banana dept.

The debate between creationists and proponents of evolution isn't ending any time soon, but now some creationists have a secret weapon, "Nessie!" Certain fundamentalist schools in Louisiana plan to teach children that the Loch Ness monster is real in a bid to disprove Darwin's theory of evolution. From the article: "One ACE textbook – Biology 1099, Accelerated Christian Education Inc – reads: 'Are dinosaurs alive today? Scientists are becoming more convinced of their existence. Have you heard of the "Loch Ness Monster" in Scotland? "Nessie" for short has been recorded on sonar from a small submarine, described by eyewitnesses, and photographed by others. Nessie appears to be a plesiosaur.' Another claim taught is that a Japanese whaling boat once caught a dinosaur. It's unclear if the movie Godzilla was the inspiration for this lesson."

Fundamentalist Schools Using "Nessie" To Disprove Evolution

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Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @03:04PM (#40442291)

Just asking....

Further evidence (Score:5, Funny)

by 0123456789 ( 467085 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @03:08PM (#40442357)

I think the Lousiana schools are ignoring important documentary footage of the family of Nessie from the 80s, as described here [wikipedia.org].

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

by Reasonable Facsimile ( 2478544 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @03:10PM (#40442381)

Just asking....
No, just cuddling....
http://cdn.twentytwowords.com/wp-content/uploads/Jesus-and-dinosaur-e1299096274567-634x865.jpg

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:2, Funny)

by Niris ( 1443675 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @03:13PM (#40442443)

Maybe Jesus _WAS_ Nessy. Just picture it: Nessie descending from the heavens, white robe billowing in the wind, sunlight glistening off flippers on the third day. Jesus Nessy Saves!

Re:They are even dumber than they seem. (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @03:13PM (#40442449)

You're right. In contrast, finding Chewbacca would prove that evolution doesn't make sense.

Re:Flying Spaghetti Monster? (Score:2, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @03:14PM (#40442477)

Flying Spaghetti Monster, Jersey Devil, Flying Saucers/Roswell, Bigfoot, Yeti, Dragons, Unicorns, Mermaids, Hobgoblins, and Trolls
Those are fo the advanced course Biology 1100.

Re:Failed argument on all counts (Score:4, Funny)

by tekrat ( 242117 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @03:20PM (#40442593) Homepage Journal

I'm sorry, but you're thinking rationally.
Clearly, you don't "get it". Arguing scientific facts with religious fundamentalists is a waste of time.
It's like how Chris Rock describes arguing with your wife. All logical arguments fail, because the target of your argument isn't logical to begin with.

Re:Insomnia? (Score:5, Funny)

by ChrisMaple ( 607946 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @03:21PM (#40442607)

With his daughter.

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

by ubergeek65536 ( 862868 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @03:34PM (#40442845)

I found proof and I doubt it's a fake since they didn't have photoshop 2000 years ago.
http://www.dailysquib.co.uk/most-popular/1236-scientists-prove-jesus-walked-with-dinosaurs.html [dailysquib.co.uk]

Re:Flying Spaghetti Monster? (Score:5, Funny)

by redneckmother ( 1664119 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @03:40PM (#40442971) Journal

Careful with that line of reasoning. Pretty soon you'll get to "Witches are real". And we all know what you do to witches.
Put them on a balance scale with ducks?

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

by Sponge Bath ( 413667 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @03:49PM (#40443135)

That's what I was thinking. If you read the bible, you notice that Jesus and Nessie were never in the same place at the same time. You can't argue with the bible.

Re:They are even dumber than they seem. (Score:5, Funny)

by Curupira ( 1899458 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @03:55PM (#40443255)

You're right. In contrast, finding Chewbacca would prove that evolution doesn't make sense.
Do you know what would disprove the evolution? This is Chewbacca. Now think about that for one moment -- that does not make sense. Why am I talking about Chewbacca when a man's life is on the line? Why? I'll tell you why: I don't know. It does not make sense. If Chewbacca does not make sense, you must acquit!

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

by LifesABeach ( 234436 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @04:06PM (#40443439) Homepage

Cats have multiplication figured out. And when it comes to eating Primates, Cats have subtraction figured out also. Halfway there?

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

by ClickOnThis ( 137803 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @04:08PM (#40443487) Journal

Speaking of fairy tales:
Would you areee that in a million years it is possible, via the mechanism of evolution, that a housecat will teach mathematics at a college level.
I await your response.
If it's Schrödinger's cat, I'd say "maybe."

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

by crazyjj ( 2598719 ) * writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @04:09PM (#40443493)

Don't be silly. Jesus rides a Harley.

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

by amicusNYCL ( 1538833 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @04:21PM (#40443715)

My favorite part of that picture has always been that the dinosaur still looks like it's super-pissed.

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:2, Funny)

by Roachie ( 2180772 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @04:24PM (#40443767)

Ok, sure, so descendants of house cats, dogs, gerbils, sparrows, all driving around in [flying] cars, working 9-to-5...
And people say creationists believe silly things!

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

by dkleinsc ( 563838 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @04:37PM (#40443953) Homepage

Would you areee that in a million years it is possible, via the mechanism of evolution, that a housecat will teach mathematics at a college level.
No, but he could dress in nice suits [wikipedia.org].

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

by eyrieowl ( 881195 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @04:40PM (#40444005)

Conveniently accounts for walking on water too.

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

by TeknoHog ( 164938 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @04:48PM (#40444121) Homepage Journal

If you extrapolate on human evolution (see Idiocracy), it will more likely be Schrödinger's lolcat. I'd say "I can haz Heizenburger?"

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:2, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @05:04PM (#40444381)

It's whatever the programmer who writes the fitness functions wants it to be.

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

by asdf7890 ( 1518587 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @05:12PM (#40444493)

No, Moses was the biker of the bible:
"the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

by pushing-robot ( 1037830 ) writes: on Monday June 25, 2012 @05:18PM (#40444581)

Stop anthropomorphizing programmers. We hate that.

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Fundamentalist Schools Using "Nessie" To Disprove Evolution 936

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Fundamentalist Schools Using "Nessie" To Disprove Evolution

Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

Further evidence (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:They are even dumber than they seem. (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Flying Spaghetti Monster? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Failed argument on all counts (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Insomnia? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Flying Spaghetti Monster? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:They are even dumber than they seem. (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Was Jesus riding Nessie? (Score:5, Funny)

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