Holy iPad Slayer! Company Releases World's First Christian Tablet 326
Velcroman1 writes "Steve Jobs worshippers need not apply. But if you're looking to get in God's good graces, or you're simply in the market for a family-friendly tablet, you may want to check out Family Christian's Edifi. Billed as the world's first Christian tablet, its genesis came with the inevitable intersection of technology and religion, according to Brian Honorable, a technology supervisor at Family Christian, the group that sells the tablet. 'We wanted to be able to offer our customers the ability to use our Holy Bible application, which has 27 different English translations of the Bible,' Honorable said."
Pretty sure Moses did it first! (Score:5, Funny)
Pretty sure Moses did it first!
Must purchase two? (Score:5, Funny)
Or do all 10 commandments fit on to one tablet this time?
battery can beat up your dad (Score:5, Funny)
quoting:
"The battery is actually stronger than everybody else out there on the market.â
if we feed the christian pad to a Li-Ion, will the romans return again, do you think?
technology and christianity (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Must purchase two? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:0_0 (Score:5, Funny)
It has flash, and will show you porn - but only hetero, in the missionary position.
That is... (Score:2, Funny)
truly the stupidest thing that I have heard all week.
Re:Pretty sure Moses did it first! (Score:5, Funny)
Pretty sure Moses did it first!
and it even had rounded corners [schoolworkhelper.net]!
Will they call their "Walled Garden"... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Pretty sure Moses did it first! (Score:5, Funny)
Then Moses turned and went down from the mountain with the two tablets of the testimony in his hand, tablets that were written on both sides; on the front and on the back they were written.
...so even *that* tablet had multitasking.
WTF, Apple?
Re:If the specs weren't kind of ass (Score:5, Funny)
Nothing would happen, unlike your tablet that erases itself when you turn it upside down.
Re:0_0 (Score:5, Funny)
Not if you take your bath in holy water, because your ordinary secular water will probably damage its holy spirit. You can easily tell, if it starts smoking, that's the holy spirit escaping and it's a good thing it won't work anymore because it's not blessed anymore.
Of course you got warranty, though, you can claim it in the afterlife.
Re:It's a customized Kindle (Score:5, Funny)
Family Christian is essentially a bookstore, and this is their "Nook" or "Kindle." I'm a little surprised they are big enough to do that,
Step 1: email suppliers found via alibaba
Step 2: get one of them to produce for you a branded tablet
Step 3: Prophet!
Re:Pretty sure Moses did it first! (Score:5, Funny)
“The Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen...Oy...Ten! Ten Commandments! For all to obey!”
Re:Must purchase two? (Score:5, Funny)
I am struck by the similarities to the Church of Latter Day Saints origin story.
Moses: God gave me tablets.
People: OK, where they at?
Moses: I broke them.
People: ???
Moses: But wait, I copied them down, so these ten things I wrote on these tablets are totally what God told me to tell you.
People: OK!! Let's go!
-----
Joseph Smith: An Italian Angel name "Moroni" gave me some plates with stuff to tell you. I was out in the wilderness skrying (getting answers to questions by listening to my hat) and this Angel totally gave me some golden plates from God that say what He wants us to do.
People: OK, where these plates at?
Joe Smith: I got 'em put away somewhere safe. I can't show them to you. God said so.
People: ????
Joe Smith: Wait! One of the thing He wants us to do is take a whole bunch of young wives.
People: Oh, hell yeah! Can we start right now?
Women: Hey, wait a minute!
People: Shut up ladies, It's God's will. Now let's choose up. (at this point, the men put their feet in a circle and did "inka-dinka soda cracker..." to see who gets to pick which women. Having been the one to get the golden plates in the first place, Joseph Smith gets to choose first, without participating in "inka-dinka soda cracker...").
[Note: no disrespect is meant by my depiction of the Jewish or Mormon back stories. Well, maybe a little bit, but not of the Jewish or Mormon people themselves, just on the backstories. And who am I to criticize anyone for believing something crazy? Every April since 1960 I've believed the Cubs were going to win the World Series.]
Incorrect (Score:5, Funny)
This tablet was perfectly created a week ago as-is on the developer's desk, it did not evolve over years like the iPad.
-Matt
Re:0_0 (Score:4, Funny)
And only properly married, monogamous couples.
Re:Pretty sure Moses did it first! (Score:5, Funny)
Actually there were three tablets, but he held one of them wrong.