US Agricultural Economists Say Bacon Shortage Is Hogwash 137
PolygamousRanchKid writes "The economics of the current drought are likely to nose up prices for bacon and other pork products next year, by as much as 10 percent. But U.S. agricultural economists are dismissing reports of a global bacon shortage that lent sizzle to headlines and Twitter feeds last week. Simply put, the talk of scarcity is hogwash. 'Use of the word 'shortage' caused visions of (1970s-style) gasoline lines in a lot of people's heads, and that's not the case,' said Steve Meyer, president of Iowa-based Paragon Economics and a consultant to the National Pork Producers Council and National Pork Board. 'If the definition of shortage is that you can't find it on the shelves, then no, the concern is not valid. If the concern is higher cost for it, then yes.'"
As a Software Developer I Too Have Very Scary News (Score:5, Funny)
What can you do? Well, as a developer who can write in many languages including C, I will be able to squeeze much more usage out of your precious ones and zeros than, say, my Indian counterparts. Oh, sure, now software is cheap but the demand is imminent and workers like myself will be harder to find than a two on your hard drive. Knowing that violent unrest will break out when people can no longer access their Farmvilles and pornography, I offer my services at a meager rate so nigh our hour of darkness. Friends, readers, Romneys, rich and potential employers -- I am not asking for much to protect your software as a ones and zeros guardian
Thou hath wrought the wrath of thine swine overlords and thou hath felt its mighty cloven hoof. Now I am simply asking you that, in your cellars where you have squirreled pound upon pound of bacon inside deep freeze upon deep freeze inside freight container upon freight container, you employ me and house me to ensure all your computing needs are safe and secure among thine horded cured brine meats.
I urge you, take this offer now before the coming very real and very well explained (see above) shortage renders my colleagues and I safe inside massive corporations and extremely financially secured without need for employ.
Economic impact (Score:2, Funny)
- Laid-off guys can stop fretting about not being the one to "bring home the bacon", because nobody is
- Wall Street bankers will have to learn to eat low on the hog
- In Washington, we'll start to see more "pork pail" projects
- Schoolkids will grumble about opening their lunchbags and getting "LT sandwiches"
I'll just eat sausage instead (Score:5, Funny)
Guess I'll just just have to forgo bacon in the morning. I'll just have sausage or ham instead.
Re:Nothing to see here (Score:4, Funny)
Re:As a Software Developer I Too Have Very Scary N (Score:4, Funny)
Well, at least his post lived up to his sig this time
Bacon Prices On The Rise (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Nothing to see here (Score:3, Funny)
Are Americans so obese that they can't live without cutting their bacon intake in half?
I just came back from the store where I purchased the largest chest freezer that they have. I intend to stockpile a month's worth of bacon for myself until the crisis recedes. My wife indicated that perhaps I should have also purchased a freezer for her.
Is she planning to freeze herself until the crisis is over?