No Space Porn (For Now) 260
With the entry to sub-orbital flight, and even orbital flight, becoming ever so slightly easier, the obvious thought of space porn kicks in. Who wouldn't want to see two or more people going at it like rabbits in a weightless environment (or at least trying to go at it like rabbits in a weightless environment)? Sadly, Virgin Galactic has turned down a $1 million offer to do just that. The offer was made by an unidentified party who was willing to put the money up front to do a space porn movie. Considering that a flight aboard VG costs $200,000 for a two-hour flight, $1 million doesn't seem too bad. Though how much you could actually do and perform in two hours is debatable. And what if one or more of the actors gets sick?
Still waiting for... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Still waiting for... (Score:5, Funny)
It was gross enough when it was just a tiny little cup. If you expect two girls to fill a whole spaceship, those are going to be some big girls.
Re:Still waiting for... (Score:5, Funny)
Considering what you are talking about, I don't think you are being NEARLY vague enough. Somebody might actually figure out what you are talking about.
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What's your problem? I *love* peanut butter and Nutella. And chocolate pudding too.
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Me too.......just not like *that*
Re:Still waiting for... (Score:5, Interesting)
You know, I didn't think anybody remembered "Two Girls Two Catamarans"
(And in case you didn't, it's about a maverick sailboat designer who builds a cat and duly sails it across an ocean with the 2 girls - actually I think he did it twice, with 2 different boats. Not sure if it was 2 girls each time or not. Anyway, This was James Wharram in the 1950s, before sailing carts were even believed in at all [obviously the Micronesians didn't count. Obviously]. He went on to have a happy life building and designing cheap sailing catamarans with his partner. Their plans always had (have) sweet drawing of naked girls sitting about on said cats. And he is still at it).
The book is out of print, sadly, See Wharram (http://wharram.com/sales/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=11&products_id=73)
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There is a line there about naked girls and pussies, but I'm not touching it... I'm gay
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"There is some evidence that NASA et al has had astronauts have sex in space, all in the name of science, of course--so I think exoatmospheric porn has already been made."
Sources, please. I have suspicions, but it is just a guess. When I saw the list of shuttle astronauts with pictures from an internal NASA news letter in the early 1980's I circled one picture. http://space.about.com/cs/deceasedastronaut/a/judithresnik.htm [about.com]
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Sources, please
Here's your source [youtube.com]
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I distinctly remember news back in the mid-eighties about NASA sending a married couple into orbit, as part of a Shuttle crew. Needless to say, speculation ran rampant about sexy experiments in space, newscasters displaying a deadpan nod-nod-wink-wink attitude towards the whole thing. However, NASA being what it is, mentioned nothing about the topic in press releases either before nor after.
So all we have to show for anything is the end scene from Moonraker, with Bond and Dr Goodhead (yet another classic
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the money shots would be pretty cool: bukkake from across the room
Is it just me, or haven't we all dreamed of wanking off so hard the cum hits the ceiling?...
Re:Still waiting for... (Score:4, Funny)
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What else can you film in only 6 minutes? (Score:4, Informative)
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or rather this [sexylosers.com]
Gah (Score:4, Funny)
There was a time when sex was interesting. Now it's just boring.
Re:Gah (Score:5, Funny)
You are obviously not doing right.
RTFM, dude!
Re:Gah (Score:5, Funny)
You mean RTFFM.
Re:Gah (Score:5, Funny)
That man page vanished sometime in the mid nineties.
Re:Gah (Score:5, Funny)
It's not boring, it's drilling! :)
Re:Gah (Score:5, Funny)
There was a time when sex was interesting. Now it's just boring.
Ya, well, that's marriage for you.
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That dude is definitely doing it wrong.
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I know why they turned it down (Score:4, Funny)
Think of the mess that a facial would make in zero-G environments...the whole ship would be all sticky.
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0_o
+3 Interesting? I gotta find a new crowd.
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Actually it was because it's difficult enough saying 'Virgin Galactic' with a straight face as it is.
Seriously - they'd have to change the name of the company after they lost their cherry!
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
Re:New Title (Score:5, Funny)
Sometimes Virgin just isn't interested in sex.
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Sometimes Virgin just isn't interested in sex.
Ha. Haha! Yeah, don't you remember being a virgin? The only people who aren't interested in sex are those who are bored of it.
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Sometimes Virgin just isn't interested in sex.
Ha. Haha! Yeah, don't you remember being a virgin? The only people who aren't interested in sex are those who are bored of it.
Your sentence implies that the large majority of Slashdotters have lost their virginity.
Starring Trey Parker (Score:2)
Zero-Gzmo?
re-write (Score:5, Funny)
>And what if one or more of the actors gets sick?
This is porn, right? You could write that into the script!
Re:re-write (Score:5, Funny)
heh heh - you called them actors.
Re:re-write (Score:5, Funny)
C'mon, you can do better than that, there's countless possibilities out there.
- Houston, We Have Rear Entry
- Apollo 69
- The 100 Mile-High Club
- Suborbital Gangbang MILFs
- In Space, No One Can Hear You Cum
- Lagrange Point Latinas
Shit, these things are a dime a dozen, how about some classics:
- Talk Dirty To Me (In A Chuck Yeager Monotone)
- Debbie Does Clavius
hah (Score:2, Funny)
then it'd just be recategorized at the site/store
Duh (Score:5, Funny)
Virgin Galactic would have to change it's name!
Re:Duh (Score:5, Funny)
Damnit, we already made up the title for it! (Score:3, Funny)
Trying to avoid funny remarks... (Score:2)
Why not just use a zero-G environment on the ground?
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Uh... where on earth is there zero gravity... on earth? Underwater is apperantly hazardous to women's heath. In one of those skydiving simulators could be interesting, albeit noisy, and getting chapped would be a concern for me anyway. While actually skydiving has definitely been done.
Anyway, duh: SPACE: the final frontier! To boldly go where no man has gone before!
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To boldly come where no man has come before
There, fixed that for you
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Two words: Forty-five seconds.
rj
Re:Trying to avoid funny remarks... (Score:5, Informative)
It's been done :
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0310288/ [imdb.com]
"Nick Lang and Silvia Saint's sex scene was filmed in free-fall aboard NASA's "vomit comet", in order to simulate zero-gravity."
It was done in Barabarella in 1968 (Score:2)
It was done in 1968 in Barbarella.
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Btw: I remember someone produced a porn movie using parabolic flight when porn tried to go mainstream. Since I haven't heard of it again I assume that sex in free fall isn't as exciting as the illusion of banging the girl next door
Performance (Score:2)
"how much you could actually do and perform in two hours is debatable"
Are you kidding me? 10 minutes should be enough for everyone!
640microseconds is enough (Score:3, Funny)
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New tag (Score:5, Funny)
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Posting AC to stave off embarrassment.
Will someone please explain the whole "idle is pants" thing? I don't get it and I'm starting to feel more clueless than usual.
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idle was becoming annoying about the time this http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/08/27/2246235 [slashdot.org] article was on the front page, also pants are what americans would call underwear.
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"pants" is the new "gay" which was the new "retarded" which was the new "foolish"
Idle is indeed folly.
Space Porn Bloopers (Score:2)
Re:Space Porn Bloopers (Score:4, Funny)
Not to mention afterwards for the guy... does it just STAY up?
What, UP, but soft? (Score:2)
So close, and yet so far...
Re:Space Porn Bloopers (Score:4, Funny)
well the average slashdotter is probably in with a chance then...
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Bah (Score:5, Interesting)
They can make weightless porn in a parabolic flight (the vomit comet) in front of a green screen. After that, adding a space background is piece of cake. Much cheaper than $1,000,000. Shit, have I just disclosed the best business plan on earth.
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Yeah, but you'd have to film it in 30 second clips, as that's about how long you have in zero G. Better have a hell of a fluffer to make sure the guy's always good to go. Not to mention that if the girls' getting deepthroated or teabagged while they transition into the 2G pullup, both parties might be in for a hell of a surprise.
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The article clearly states that they only get five minutes of weightlessness, out of the entire two hour flight. Even if they cap at the flight at the "tourist maximum" of 15 parabolas per flight, you'd still get 6.25 minutes. :)
Research flights offer 60-80 parabolas.
Tourist prices are roughly $5000 per person (or about $330 per person, per parabola).
Even if they charged extra to do a porno, you'd still be saving in the area of $950000, at least?
Now where did I put that file... (Score:2, Funny)
It's a movie, why wouldn't they fake it? (Score:2)
I'd turn it down too... (Score:5, Insightful)
The concept is just plain gross, and not because it's a porno. It's due to the fact that you'd literally have bodily fluids being ejected from the human body without the physical constraints we have here on earth. That means the entire interior of the craft this is was filmed in would like resemble a Jackson pollock painting under one of those black lights they use in sensationalist news reports about how gross motel rooms are.
"I can feel them moving!" - Peter Griffin
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Already been done... sorry (Score:5, Informative)
http://www.space.com/sciencefiction/movies/uranus_experiment_000516.html
Surprise surprise, the title is 'The Uranus Experiment'.
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A while back, Penn Gillette wrote about his charter flight on a vomit comet. His was the second charter, right after the filming of "The Uranus Experiment," which he mentioned in the article.
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A while back, Penn Gillette wrote about his charter flight on a vomit comet. His was the second charter, right after the filming of "The Uranus Experiment," which he mentioned in the article.
Oh Sweet Zombie Jesus!! Talk about sloppy seconds!!
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Googling for "penn jillette vomit comet" gives a lot of results, and one supposedly the article, at "thestoreroom.tk", whatever that is.
http://www.thestoreroom.tk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=43 [thestoreroom.tk]
Did he actually put the article online somewhere? I realize it's probably that, I'm just not sure.
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That looks like the article I read, though it's been over a year, so details are obviously fuzzy.
Darn it... (Score:2)
A movie version of Ben Bova's "Zero Gee", or better still, the whole Kinsman saga, would have been great.
Like all new applications of technology (Score:2, Redundant)
The first examples are likely to be more humorous than erotic.
Two Points (Score:3, Funny)
2 hours isn't a problem. Porn movies aren't really known for their epic length. Well, not in minutes, anyway.
And so what if some actors get sick? You just make a different movie. There's an audience for everything (disturbingly)!
Not surprising (Score:5, Insightful)
First, the flight may be two hours, but the weightless period isn't -- it's under ten minutes, maybe more like 5 (I haven't looked at their numbers recently). Also note that it's $200k on an 8-seat (6 passengers) craft -- so the normal fee for the whole craft would be $1.2M. He's offered less than the nominal price, for what is certainly a lot of extra work by Virgin and may have adverse effects on their publicity (or maybe positive, but I'm not the one making that judgement).
Also, we don't yet know whether they'll be requiring pressure suits. The craft has a double pressure hull, but that still means there are common mode failures possible. Originally Rutan said the double hull meant no pressure suits, but that was at a time when it wasn't clear that affordable pressure suits existed. As companies like Orbital Outfitters have begun to show that they can supply rental suits at reasonable prices (a few $k per person per flight -- custom tailoring included), Rutan has talked about maybe using pressure suits. Last I heard, the issue wasn't fully decided yet. If they do use pressure suits, they may be reluctant to allow unsuited passengers even at a price premium. (Note that the suit would be worn unpressurized with the visor up as long as cabin pressure held. I've seen the suits, and while they're not as lightweight as a t-shirt, they aren't bad either. We're not talking about Apollo-type space suits or anything.)
Then there's the regulatory headache. The craft will be an experimental aircraft, not a certificated one, and the tourists will be spaceflight participants, not passengers. The distinction may be semantic, but it's a very important one. Flying for commercial purposes rather than tourism may make it more difficult to get FAA/AST approval for the flight. If so, that would be a deal breaker regardless of any other concerns.
I've interned with XCOR Aerospace (a competitor of Scaled's); while none of this should be taken as official XCOR policy, I would be surprised if Scaled, XCOR, or anyone else was willing to do this any time soon. The headaches in safety, regulation, PR, and logistics are just too large, especially with no financial incentive. (Note that this would be difficult in XCOR's Lynx, as there's only one passenger and they don't get to remove their seatbelt.)
All of that said... I think it's wonderful to see this much interest in commercial spaceflight. I'd also love to see some space porn, if only to laugh my ass off at the awkwardness. I'm sure they'll find a way to do it eventually, and I hope it's sooner rather than later.
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And in spite of all that, someone's going to do it "off the record" soon enough anyway. The sex part. Filming notwithstanding.
NOT "two hours": FIVE MINUTES (Score:2)
Obviously the submitter didn't RTFA
Normal intercourse is going to be difficult, without weight to overcome friction. I can see space bukkake being more likely, and even more disgusting than the earthbound variety.
and the PERFECT job for... (Score:2)
Just as well he already works in space.
May not be possible (Score:4, Informative)
From tfa [wired.com]
There are no dead man's sticks in space. And no matter how stressed anyone gets, they can't even enjoy a little release by manipulating their own joystick: One of the effects of weightlessness is reduced blood flow to the lower half of your body. The rumor in Star City is that many have tried in vain to get it up out there. "There vas top-secret program of this," Driga says. "But the man could not perform. Viagra vill not help."
So it may not be possible to perform in zero g, not enough blood flow to the lower extremities.
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Ever heard of a penis pump? The article is complete bullshit.
Please don't go there (Score:2)
And what if one or more of the actors gets sick?
Then you sell your video to a different niche market. One that I really, really wish I'd never found out about. Eccch.
"And what if one or more of the actors gets sick?" (Score:2)
Then you sell your film in Japan.
Profit!
hmmm (Score:3, Informative)
I seem to remember reading somewhere that it's extremely difficult (if not impossible) to get an erection during prolonged space flight.
MSNBC did a report on this subject back in 2006 (Score:5, Interesting)
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14002908/ [msn.com]
My favorite quote from TFA
Woodmansee said sex would be "the killer app of space tourism ... because every couple who goes up there, or threesome or whatever their personal choice is, is going to want to try this."
TFA :
Outer-space sex carries complications
... because every couple who goes up there, or threesome or whatever their personal choice is, is going to want to try this."
Experts say new devices and data would be needed to hit the zero-G-spot
By Alan Boyle
Science editor
updated 4:38 p.m. ET, Mon., July. 24, 2006
LAS VEGAS - Having sex in the weightlessness of outer space is the stuff of urban legends and romantic fantasy â" but experts say that there would be definite downsides as well.
Spacesickness, for instance. And the difficulty of choreographing intimacy. And the potential for sweat and other bodily fluids to, um, get in the way.
"The fantasy might be vastly superior to the reality," NASA physician Jim Logan said here Sunday at the Space Frontier Foundation's NewSpace 2006 conference. Nevertheless, Logan and others say the study of sex and other biological basics in outer space will be crucial to humanity's long-term push into the final frontier.
"Sex in space is not just a good idea, it's survival," said Vanna Bonta, a writer who blends romance with space travel and quantum physics in the novel "Flight."
Sex in the space environment has long been a source of rumor and speculation: Several years ago, one author claimed that NASA had conducted a study of sexual behavior during a space shuttle mission, sparking a quick round of denials. Today, NASA follows something of a "don't ask, don't tell" policy on the subject â" leading Logan to stress that he was not representing the space agency at Sunday's panel discussion.
The subject is coming to the fore again now for several reasons â" including next month's publication of a book by Laura Woodmansee titled "Sex in Space," as well as billionaire Robert Bigelow's plan to host research into animal propagation on his commercial space modules.
After all, sometime in the next decade Bigelow Aerospace envisions putting a hotel complex in orbit, "where people will probably be recreating and having sex," Bonta said.
Woodmansee said sex would be "the killer app of space tourism
However, off-Earth romantics will have to cope with some practical challenges:
# Sex in space would likely be "hotter and wetter" than on Earth, Bonta said, because in zero-G there is no natural convection to carry away body heat. Also, scientists have found that people tend to perspire more in microgravity. The moisture associated with sexual congress could pool as floating droplets.
# The physics of zero-G make the mechanics of sex more complicated. Bonta said it was challenging even to kiss her husband during a zero-G simulation flight they took recently. "You actually have to struggle to connect and stay connected," she recalled. Partners would have to be anchored to the wall and/or to each other. To address that need, Bonta has come up with her own design for garments equipped with strategically placed Velcro strips and zippers.
# Although zero-G could be a boon for saggy body parts, Bonta said males might notice a "slight decrease" in penis size due to the lower blood pressure that humans experience in microgravity.
# Romantics will also need to guard against the type of motion sickness that space travelers often encounter, especially if they get too adventurous right off. "Save the acrobatics for post-play vs. foreplay," Bonta advised.
For all these reasons, Logan said spontaneous sex in space could be "a little underwhelming."
"It's a pretty messy environment, when you think about it," he said. "And for every
Somewhere, a Slashdot editor is laughing. . . (Score:2)
The amazing thing here is not your information, (which is actually pretty interesting), but the fact that you were able to squeeze it all through the stupid little keyhole-sized comment window on these dippy idle pages.
Maybe you were posting in micro-gravity.
-FL
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
I recall reading recently that astronauts on board the space station complained about not being able to get an erection. At all. Reduced blood flow due to zero-g might put a hamper on your porno plans. Now zero-g girl-on-girl is probably possible, and in the end a lot less messy.
Of course Virgin Galactic turned them down (Score:3, Funny)
Obligatory (Score:2)
In space no one can hear you scream!
Horror (Score:2)
When I first read the subject, I thought it said "No Space *For* Porn"!! :-o
Oh you mean Porn as in SEX! (Score:2)
I thought you just wanted to stream live video from the VG ship as it went up and came back! I'd pay for that, and for views of the Earth from LEO. Add some girl on girl action to all of that and I'd never leave Home!
Obviously you are unfamiliar with... (Score:2)
Needs New Scripts? (Score:3, Funny)
The *knock* *knock* : "Pizza Man!" meme won't work any more.
$1 million not enough (Score:3, Interesting)
I think the real problem is that the money is too small for this sort of thing. Basically, they're going to take over a flight, it's going to require special gear, and such a film would probably be very popular.
Now, if that film maker were offering say, 10 million (or more), that might be enough to make it worthwhile for Virgin Galactic.
to boldly come (Score:5, Funny)
/obvious
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You don't understand! Every comment brings the horror closer!
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Haha, I'm sure it'll be hard to find porn actors agreeable to being tied down.
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No, they only have about 5 minutes. Two-hour flight includes ascent and descent. Only 5 minutes of actual Zero gravity. Plenty of time for some people...
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No, they only have about 5 minutes. Two-hour flight includes ascent and descent. Only 5 minutes of actual Zero gravity. Plenty of time for some people...
Make that married people.