World's Oldest Marijuana Stash Found 108
jage2 writes "Researchers say they have located the world's oldest stash of marijuana in a tomb in a remote part of China.
The cache of cannabis is about 2,700 years old and was clearly 'cultivated for psychoactive purposes,' rather than as fibre for clothing, or as food, says a research paper in the Journal of Experimental Botany.
The 789 grams of dried cannabis was buried alongside a light-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian man, likely a shaman of the Gushi culture, near Turpan in northwestern China."
Well, that certainly explains Idle (Score:4, Funny)
You'd have to be high to think it was a good addition.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
I WAS high until you killed the buzz. :P
Re: (Score:1, Insightful)
*cough*douchebag*cough*
Also explains... (Score:5, Funny)
Mongol: Pssst, you got a yuan bag?
Wall Guard: Oy! Get out of here, we don't do that at this tower, try two doors down.
Mongol: Pssst, is Fey Shong Wei about? He always hooks me up.
Wall Guard: I said piss off! I got my boss coming for an inspection in a bit.
Mongol: Fine fine, sissy girly man, no wonder you need this big wall to keep out a few baked horsemen!
Wall Guard: Get back to your tent you damned hippie! And get a REAL job! And a HAIRCUT! And have a SHOWER!
Summary is wrong (Score:5, Funny)
After researchers tested the stash it seemed seemed like 2700 years had passed. In reality it was only 42 minutes.
Re:Summary is wrong (Score:5, Funny)
After researchers tested the stash it seemed seemed like 2700 years had passed. In reality it was only 42 minutes.
Sources also say that after testing the researchers' hands "looked awesome."
ObSimpsons (Score:4, Funny)
> Sources also say that after testing the researchers' hands "looked awesome."
They call them fingers, but I've never seen them fing.
Oh, wait. There they go.
Re: (Score:2)
In the immortal words of Chech, and Chong, "Far Out Man."
Re:Summary is wrong (Score:5, Funny)
Sun Tzu: "Pssst...hey man, it's Sun Tzu, open the door, I got the stuff..."
Chong: "Sun? Sun Tzu? Sun's not here."
Sun Tzu: "No man, I'm Sun!! Now will you open the door, I got the stuff!!"
Chong: "Sun?"
Sun Tzu: "Yes, it's Sun!!!"
Chong: "Sun's not here!!"
-- several iterations later --
Sun Tzu: "It's Sun!!! S-U-N!!! Now will you open the goddamned door?!?!?!"
Chong: "Oh, sure." -- opens door --
Sun Tzu: "What the hell was that about?"
Chong: "Well, you had this note written on the table: 'If your opponent is of choleric temper, seek to irritate him.'"
Sun Tzu: "Damn, I must've really high when I wrote that..."
Re: (Score:1)
The researchers (Score:1, Funny)
Of course the researchers subsequently burned it all... in portions of 5g.
Well there goes my idea... (Score:4, Interesting)
From TFA: "Scientists also tried to germinate 100 of the seeds found in the cache, without success."
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Hey man, if they can bring back a mammoth, they can bring back a pot plant.
Re: (Score:2)
Blue eyes? (Score:2, Funny)
How did they know he had blue eyes? Now, bloodshot, I would understand.
Holy Smoke! (Score:2)
Bill & Ted? (Score:1)
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
And by "blond part" I assume you mean Bill S. Preston Esquire. Jesus... uncultured swine around here.
Re: (Score:1, Insightful)
Is it wrong to imagine Alex Winter appearing in the (deleted) final scene of Matrix 3, shaking Keanu awake and saying "Dude, you were having a BOGUS nightmare. Did you take one of the red pills last night? You know those always freak you out. Now let's go down to Castro Street and get your cute behind some breakfast."
You have to admit the movie would have been massively better that way.
Uh-huh. (Score:5, Funny)
Oh yes, the tests included genetic testing and radio-carbon dating. Good to point that out. I'll just speculate what other tests you could do with 2700 year old weed. On a perhaps related note, since they couldn't use spectroscopy or whatever to determine the precise percentage of THC, I wonder what technique they used to come up with the qualitative measurement "relatively high".
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
I'm surprised the editors missed that typo.
Re: (Score:1, Funny)
You're confused, dude. It's bong calorimetry.
You must be thinking of paper chromatography.
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
A highometer was used to run a standard highometric analysis on a scale from "not" to "curiously." On the standard scale, "relatively" is the seventh mark on the indicator.
Re: (Score:2)
Bioassays, perhaps.
You certainly wouldn't be able to tell by smoking it, all the THC would have degraded by then back into precursor cannabinoids. They likely would have measured the amount of residual compounds leftover from broken-down pot.
Re: (Score:2)
They smoked it and got "relatively high"
Re: (Score:2)
This probably needs more testing.
Re: (Score:2)
The THC count would do that.
I mean, your trying really, really hard to imply they smoked it. Just failing, in an manner Epic.
Re: (Score:2)
Well at least it is good to know that it could still be "tested" after 2700 years. No worries the stash will go bad now.
In a related anouncement.... (Score:5, Funny)
Keith Richards was greatly relieved it was finally found although he can't recall being in China at the time.
Intersting Tomb Contents (Score:5, Funny)
The tomb also contained bridles, archery equipment and a harp...
The ancient equivalent of car keys, a gun, and an electric guitar.
Considering how much weed there was I say this was
probably an ancient rock star and not a shaman.
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Shamans were the rock stars of the day.
Re: (Score:2)
Shamans were the rock stars of the day.
Conversely, some rock stars are shaman-like figures for modern times. I'm picturing guys like Jimi Hendrix, Robert Plant, Iggy Pop, Peter Gabriel while in Genesis, David Byrne while in The Talking Heads (particularly in albums such as Remain In Light and Speaking In Tongues), Ian Astbury while in The Cult, Wayne Coyne of The Flaming Lips, most certainly extreme characters like GG Allin, or Wendy O. Williams of The Plasmatics. I'd even go out on a limb and place Fredd
Re: (Score:1)
If Axl Rose burned, would it smell like burning flesh or like burning plastic?
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
It would smell like victory.
Re: (Score:2)
But you missed the
Re: (Score:2)
Thanks for reminding me about Morrison, but I'd pick Arthur Lee of Love over Morrison any day of the week, cases in point:
- When Lee rented an apartment in Venice Beach, a short while later so did Morrison.
- Then Lee got himself a Mustang convertible, and soon enough, Morrison could be seen around town driving one of those.
- Finally, Lee adopted a Rottweiler, and a couple of months later, you guessed it, Morrison got himself one.
Those are the three examples that I know of. When asked if he was annoyed at M
Re: (Score:1)
Re: (Score:2)
It took longer to release Chinese Democracy than it took NASA to send a human to the Moon from scratch. Or for Voyager 2 to conduct a leisurely tour of our solar system's gas giants. Or for light to travel the distance between Earth and Sirius and back again.
Re: (Score:2)
My bad, maybe I should have written it thusly:
As for an Axl "No supper for you until you finish an album" Rose, stop standing up your fans at gigs, leaving behind a wake of riots in arenas across the western world.
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
I'm pretty sure future societies will at long last recognize our vast numbers of 16 year old shamans.
Re: (Score:2)
That's not a "fertility symbol", it's ur-Porn.
Re: (Score:1)
A person from 5,000 years ago who dressed up in animal skins to communicate with weather spirits probably felt they were using the best, time-tested techniques to ensur
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
At the end of "The Golden Bough" there is a piece on comparison between magic, religion and science.
Some quotes:
In magic man depends on his own strength to meet the difficulties and dangers that beset him on every side. He believes in a certain established order of nature on which he can surely count, and which he can manipulate for his own ends.
When he discovers his mistake, when he recognises sadly that both the order of nature which he had assumed and the control which he had believed himself to exercise
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
But as time goes on this explanation in its turn proves to be unsatisfactory. For it assumes that the succession of natural events is not determined by immutable laws, but is to some extent variable and irregular, and this assumption is not borne out by closer observation. On the contrary, the more we scrutinise that succession the more we are struck by the rigid uniformity, the punctual precision with which, wherever we can follow them, the operations of nature are carried on.
The universe runs on some punctual precision? Sort of like predicting the weather -- oh wait, no. More like quantum mech-- hm. No, not there, either.
In fact, if there's one thing we've learned about the nature of reality through science in the past 100 years, it's that we *don't* live in Newton's clock-work universe. There is no "punctual precision". We live in space-time relativity and quantum uncertainty. Frazier's description of the linear evolution of human thought turns out to be wrong.
Most anthropo
Re: (Score:2)
I want to note, though, that probabilistic is not clockwork; but it is not arbitrary. A fair die's outcome cannot be predicted; but its behavior is precisely regular. The old Newtonian dream of a perfectly predictable billiar
Re: (Score:2)
I want to note, though, that probabilistic is not clockwork; but it is not arbitrary. A fair die's outcome cannot be predicted; but its behavior is precisely regular. The old Newtonian dream of a perfectly predictable billiards universe is nonsense; but the probabilistic phenomena around us seem overwhelmingly to be statistically predictable, rather than merely arbitrary.
Yes, but this belies the radical shift that Einsteinian physics and and quantum physics really was in the world of science. No one is claiming that it is arbitrary. It essentially changed the metaphysical foundation that science had been based on since about the time of Newton. Many scientists at the time refused to accept these theories; they still clung to luminiferous aether and clockwork universe theories, until they all died out and the new school took over completely, in about the 1950s.
To say that
Re: (Score:2)
"...the punctual precision with which, wherever we can follow them, the operations of nature are carried on...."
He is referring to repeatability. i.e. falsifiable tests.
Effectively this is the precursor to the scientific method.
Re: (Score:2)
He is referring to repeatability. i.e. falsifiable tests.
Are you sure? Could you provide a reference, please?
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Re: (Score:2)
What I am saying is that anybody who interacts with something they cannot perceive, be they germs or spirits, is essentially practicing ritual. They have no way of knowing whether or not their actions will bring about the intended results, because they have no way to perceive the phenomenon they purport to influence. How can this be different from a magic ritual?
Now, some rationalist might jump in at this point an
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
But we really can't perceive most things directly . . only their effects. We do not see objects; we see light reflected off of them.
If you're going to argue that, then the logical conclusion is that we don't perceive *anything* directly -- that there is no such thing as direct perception. Or would you count touch as direct perception?
I think it's fair to go with a definition of direct perception as impinging upon any of the five senses -- sight, smell, touch, taste, or sound. In other words, if you sensed it directly, rather than concluding a presence or being told about it, we could call that direct perceptions. And for germs, we can
And here's the last song he played... (Score:2)
I was gonna pillage you,
But I got high.
I was gonna sack your village too,
But I got high.
I'm stuck here in this tomb, and I know why.
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got hi-igh.
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:1)
Re: (Score:1)
Must be a snoop dogg ancestor.
Re: (Score:1)
this was probably an ancient rock star and not a shaman.
I think the difference between the two does not amount to much anyway.
Re: (Score:1)
Who Knew? (Score:1, Funny)
Well that's good news! All these years I've been called a pot head and come to find out through the miracle of botany, I am a shaman!
missing from the summary (Score:3, Funny)
"The 789 grams of dried cannabis was buried alongside a light-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian man, likely a shaman of the Gushi culture, near Turpan in northwestern China. The man had a very large smile on his face."
Red Tape (Score:3, Funny)
Re: (Score:2)
780 grams? That's not mucking about! (Score:3, Funny)
Argh (Score:1)
Now I know.
Well Well, Excellent. (Score:2)
So my only question is was this Bill or Ted? Time Travel and George Carlin come to mind :)
Re: (Score:1)
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Ancient Nugz (Score:1)
Re: (Score:2)
And look what happened to the guy who smoked that (Score:5, Funny)
He's dead!
Take note kids.
Hey man.... (Score:5, Funny)
Damn! (Score:1, Redundant)
Sigh. Time to start over. Where are my shovel and dust brush?
Street value (Score:2, Informative)
In the Chicago area, for 'Pretty Good' cannabis, you're talking between $200 and $400 per ounce, conservatively. 789 grams is approximately 27.8 ounces, that's $5,400-$10,800 total value, conservative estimate, depending on quality relative to today's standards.
789 grams ??? (Score:1)
Imagine that (Score:1)
Conversation at Customs.
Um no Officer that isnt my weed. That is the result of an archeological find.
Sure, Cuff him. We hear that all the time.
Or the Dead guy was just holding it for a friend.
Too bad (Score:1)
Re: (Score:2)
Nice Save! (Score:1)
Blown (Score:1)
2700 year old surfer (Score:1)
The 789 grams of dried cannabis was buried alongside a light-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian man, likely a shaman of the Gushi culture, near Turpan in northwestern China
Last words were "Whoa, clench time tsunami dude!"