Town Wants To Hire Witch

Somerset needs to hire a witch, and not just any witch will do. The town needs one who is willing to live in the Wookey Hole Caves, a local tourist attraction. The job pays £50,000 a year. Applicants "must be able to cackle," and "must not be allergic to cats." The job is open to men, women, and even trans-gender witches, to comply with sexual discrimination laws. "Wookey Hole wants the appointee to go about her everyday business as a hag, so that people passing through the caves can get a sense of what the place was like in the Dark Ages. This was when an old woman lived in the caves with some goats and a dog causing a variety of social ills including crop failures and disease. So the job is straightforward: live in the cave, be a witch, and do the things witches do," said Daniel Medley, from Wookey Hole Caves.

Job requirement

[Arthur B.]

She must float.

Trojan Moose

[macdaddy]

I hear that Sarah Palin is in need of a good job.

Re:

[RockDoctor]

Probably wouldn't be acceptable - she'll need to live on Planet Earth and be intelligible to Brits, not be some loopy-fruit lunatic from a strange universe. Plus, while Palin does her try best with her 50-style clothes, screeching voice (she's witch-qualified there) and the cackling insanity (similarly well qualified), frankly I could imagine putting my dick inside her for fun, and that simply isn't haggish enough!
(Of course, you might wish to claim that Palin really is haggish - but I'd want to measure her

Re:

[Jane Q. Public]

... and she'd have to weigh less than a duck.

Hiding in dark places, doing strange rituals?

[downix]

My goodness, sounds like the normal life of the/. reader!

Damn. I'm allergic to cats.

[Jane Q. Public]

Otherwise, I would be happy to "cackle" for visitors for 50,000 GBP. My current job pays more, but this sounds a lot less stressful.