Woman Claims Wii Fit Caused Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome 380
Amanda Flowers always liked her Wii Fit but now she can't get enough of it. Amanda claims a fall from her balance board damaged a nerve and has left her suffering from persistent sexual arousal syndrome. From the article: "The catering worker said: 'It began as a twinge down below before surging through my body. Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm.' A doctor diagnosed her with persistent sexual arousal syndrome due to a damaged nerve."
I might be able to help (Score:5, Funny)
> Single Amanda, 24, from Harpurhey, Manchester,
Dear Amanda,
Please contact me offline. Although I will be straight forward and admit right away that I can't cure you, I still have something that might help you live an happier life with the syndrome.
Truly yours,
Let's just rephrase this (Score:5, Funny)
Woman Claims Nerve Damage Caused Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome. Doctors Unsurprised.
Woman Further Claims That Falling On The Floor Can Cause Nerve Damage. Doctors Still Unsurprised.
Woman Then Observes That Balancing On A Small Piece Of Plastic Can Result In Falling On The Floor. Doctors Remain Unsurprised.
Hey, you know what else can "cause" persistent sexual arousal syndrome? Basically anything.
Re:I might be able to help (Score:5, Funny)
Quick! (Score:5, Funny)
Then she'll be horny *and* talk dirty all the time.
for sure (Score:5, Funny)
Single Amanda, 24, from Harpurhey, Manchester,...
She won't be single for long.
My wife asked for one for her birthday... (Score:5, Funny)
Woman has Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome... (Score:5, Funny)
Have some compassion (Score:5, Funny)
Woman Claims Nerve Damage Caused Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome. Doctors Unsurprised.
Woman Further Claims That Falling On The Floor Can Cause Nerve Damage. Doctors Still Unsurprised.
Woman Then Observes That Balancing On A Small Piece Of Plastic Can Result In Falling On The Floor. Doctors Remain Unsurprised.
Hey, you know what else can "cause" persistent sexual arousal syndrome? Basically anything.
Have some compassion.
Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome [wikipedia.org] is very real. Imagine having an itch that you could never scratch away. An itch that was always there. Now, replace that itch with an erection and a desire to release your semen storage 24/7.
I went through 4 years of it in high-school, and would not wish it upon my worst enemy.
Re:I might be able to help (Score:5, Funny)
No need to worry, this will be sorted out once she contacts me offline. I will ask her how much progress she had made so far with the Wii Fit, purely for diagnostic related reasons, of course.
Oh my god!! (Score:5, Funny)
if(sleeping){
wakeup();
else
panic();
}
Re:Have some compassion (Score:5, Funny)
We all went through it through high school. It's called adolescence.
Re:I might be able to help (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Have some compassion (Score:5, Funny)
Now, replace that itch with an erection and a desire to release your semen storage 24/7.
Sounds just like being a dude to me.
So let me get this straight (Score:2, Funny)
You suffer from persistent sexual arousal symptom?
Re:Quick! (Score:5, Funny)
Priceless.
But, but, it's quality journalism (Score:5, Funny)
How Jeremy Clarkson has a 10 inch dick [dailystar.co.uk]
How Katie Price's tits could explode during her diving holiday [dailystar.co.uk]
or
That Skinny Women really don't want to get fat [dailystar.co.uk]
m( - Facepalm emoticon
Too many? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Too many? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Have some compassion (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Too many? (Score:2, Funny)
"Oh god no! please not another one! stop! stop! get off me! oh god, oh god, no! stop! not another one!..."
etc.
Re:Too many? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I might be able to help (Score:2, Funny)
>>> I still have something that might help you live an happier life with the syndrome.
>>I don't know dude. I didn't see any picture.
>No need to worry, this will be sorted out once she contacts me offline.
Sounds more like the poster meant picture of what you're offering.
I know the feeling. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Yeeeessss (Score:3, Funny)
No that would be called a zero sum game, nothing lost for trying.
Slashdot to the rescue (Score:4, Funny)
I bet once she sees some Slashdotters, any sexual arousal she might suffer from will quickly recede.
29 years/old here. I have PTSD from High School (Score:0, Funny)
I started life as a 3rd-grade bully, never got good grades, deathly afraid of girls.
By 6th-grade, I was undisputed so became a nerd...could fix any DOS issue on the computers, and wrote QBasic tools on that 286 with it's 2MB of RAM; I watched guys around me start dating girls, for reasons I never new; they would do things with eachother that broke my heart for ever doing such to young girls that I thought had a more holy purpose in life.
By 9th-grade, I seen things that can't be unseen in High School; durring pep rallies, the girls did the nasty-dance while the teachers were looking, and this aggravated me to know that there are pederasts everywhere -- even young, 9th-grade pederasts oogling these sinful angels.
By 10th-grade, I left High School from the 3rd and last beating I would accept from Football team jocks, and I'm sick and tired of the computer teachers asking me to fix their computers for 2 summers in a row just so they can teach Turbo C++/Visual C+Basic Programming and Microsoft Office products.
By the Year 1999, I still aren't looking at people because that's what they want me to do -- I turned 18, and I kept that 1st Beer from that Strange neighbor of mine that I wouldn't drink until Year 2002 when I fought a DA in court.
By the Year 2009, I wonder what about women that I missed --- I look around, and retards everywhere are burned-out and going to their 10-year celebrations. I see a girl on Yahoo Personals that I remembered for her sinful activities, and she looks like a broken and used little thing that nobody would date because she just --- ugh, I can't explain it. It's so sad, and she looks at me through her photographs like she'ld been raped of her soul and all the guys had trampled her spirit in favor of other later-maturing flowers.
And now here's 2010, and I'm waiting for the 2k12 meteor to blow this Father-fucking rock out of the sky to become the asteroid belt and future rings around the moon.
hmm (Score:3, Funny)
Taking the braces off is a good first step to resolving the particular issue, though....
Re:My wife asked for one for her birthday... (Score:5, Funny)
Was just going to say, I know what Mrs. corbettw is getting this year! A trip to Mexico for herself, while my girlfriend gets one of these things!
Re:Have some compassion (Score:5, Funny)
So you chose your screen name fittingly, I see.
Re:Queue the same joke over and over... (Score:4, Funny)
Well, right it out a hundred times by sun-up or we'll cut your balls off.
Hail Caesar!
Re:Queue the same joke over and over... (Score:4, Funny)
Oh fuck, write.
Sigh, some mornings it pays not to post to /.
In other words... (Score:5, Funny)
"Wii so horny".
Re:for sure (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, I don't know about you, but that sounds like a full time fucking job...
Re:I might be able to help (Score:2, Funny)
More importantly, I need steps to replicate. Now please excuse me, as I'm off to buy my wife a Wii Fit board as a just because present.
My ex-wife developed the exact opposite of this syndrome. Shortly after we returned from the Honeymoon.
=P
Re:Hold on (Score:5, Funny)
-1 Nauseating.
Depends on your point of view I guess. Personally, I think if you haven't broken furniture at least once you're not doing it right.
*Puh-lease*. This is Slashdot.
If you haven't caused a data center to fail over, you're not doing it right...
Re:Quick! (Score:2, Funny)
From "fuck you" to "fuck me" in two days. Slashdot is on a roll.
Re:Oh my god!! (Score:3, Funny)
Proving how important it is to Open Source your code
I hate to brag... (Score:3, Funny)
I have also been known to cause persistent sexual arousal syndrome (PSAS) in females of the opposite sex.
It's been my cross to bear since I was in the fifth grade and had to fight off Miss DeLisi, my teacher, who looked a lot like a young Kelly LeBrock.
It's only gotten worse since I became a professional golfer. I've learned to deal with it by lowering my standards way, way down.
um, (Score:3, Funny)
This is such a blatant SLASHVERTISEMENT!!!
Re:Too many? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Hold on (Score:5, Funny)
*Puh-lease*. This is Slashdot.
If you haven't gotten head while tanking a raid boss at least once you're not doing it right.
Fixed. True story.
Re:I might be able to help (Score:5, Funny)
That was all explained in the handbook "Guide to human nature" that you were supplied at birth. You did read it, right?
Once the honeymoon is over, the honeymoon is really over. It's time to start spending money on "the other woman" or an escort.
{sigh} I wish more people would read the handbook so they wouldn't be surprised when the inevitable happens.
This is no joke. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:29 years/old here. I have PTSD from High School (Score:4, Funny)
Think about this for a moment: Your mum probably likes it up the ass occasionally. Did that make you angry? That's because you think of her as some magical ideal, and not as a living breathing passionate person who gave birth to you after a lot of passionate sex.
Actually, you are butt-ficking wrong! (Score:0, Funny)
No, the people that love sex aren't the one's abusing it and pushing it onto the students like our parent is dissatisfied about. Those of us that love sex only need it in the smallest moments as a ration of skin moisturizer. We're not the one's that blatently mix among sexists to build the man or woman as some kind of deity to dispense pleasure to everyone around at the same time. If you hate sex, then you practically live in Pornography and appreciate the work of Larry Flint and Hue Heffner. Those are the people that run your schools, slowly progressing young minds to be tolerant about others as they spread animal-like instincts instead of studies.
All those that didn't have children, are the one's too busy saving the world -- the bravest and most courageous people on the planet were all royalty, distinguished by a slight psychological impulse that embraces all lower life forms with more compassion than a short-tempered in-heat negro that can't stop fondling your daughter because he says he "loves her so much."
I come from a similar background, and I can tell you that my mother hated anal sex because she would cry for hours after her "husband" was done with her. I came from a broken family, brought together by poverty, my old man tried all he could to put his foul ideas into my mind until finally when I was 14 years old I told him to get out of my house for the first time because I and my mother aren't tolerating his bastard attitude and abuse any longer. I left college to work full time to keep a roof over the heads of those I loved.
You all should be ashamed. I put the weakest on a pedestal, and you criticize the other post for that? What kind of deprived psychopath have you become? Do you pride yourself in dangerous unnatural intercourse of thought and reason, and all it boils down to a bunch of offtopic school peers proving they are a bunch of Romans ruining all those around them in a snowball effect?
And look, in the future of USA and the world, there are more STD's from your disgraceful behaviour now in your time then there ever was in 30 years ago. It all happened on your watch, in your demeanor, in your work ethic, and your spiritual bankruptcy.
Enjoy the AIDS.
The cure for persistent sexual arousal syndrome (Score:5, Funny)
The cure for persistent sexual arousal syndrome in women is:
Wedding cake.
Re:Hold on (Score:3, Funny)
Uhm, wait a second, this is Slashdot, we aren't supposed to talk about how we meet lovely women and sleep with them
What is this "women" thing of which you speak?
Re:Have some compassion (Score:5, Funny)
Noooo, it doesn't FIT! (Score:2, Funny)
There is a very horny lady (like the one in the article) who desperately needed an "aid".
Lady: "Show me all the dildos"
Salesman: "We have a very big selection in this aisle"
Lady: "Show me the biggest ones"
Salesman: "Sure, in the right wall you can find the biggest dildos"
Lady: "oooh, I like what I see. I'm taking the red one"
Salesman: "You mean the huge red one hanging on the wall? That is not for sale!"
Lady: "YES, I WANT IT! WHY NOT?"
Salesman: "Uhm... that's a fire extinguisher."
Re:Have some compassion (Score:3, Funny)
Women have erections?!?
I really want to know where you grew up, so I can avoid women from there!
Re:Actually, you are butt-ficking wrong! (Score:3, Funny)
... in the future of USA and the world, there are more STD's from your disgraceful behaviour now in your time then there ever was in 30 years ago ...
This is Slashdot. Around here, an STD should be worn like a medal. "Hey, guys, I've had sex, AND I can prove it!"
except (Score:3, Funny)
different people have different libidos. We don't have to kill each other over it.
Killing is unavoidable for necrophiliacs with persistent arousal syndrome...
Re:I might be able to help (Score:3, Funny)
Some chicks are into body mods. Tattoos, piercings, permanent vibrator implants. It takes all kinds.
Hmmm, the possibilities I can think of.
Gimme a remote control on that thing. Kinda like a wireless butterfly (look it up if you don't know), but better. :)
Re:Let's just rephrase this (Score:3, Funny)
"Woman Claims Nerve Damage Caused Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome. Doctors Unsurprised.
Woman Further Claims That Falling On The Floor Can Cause Nerve Damage. Doctors Still Unsurprised.
Woman Then Observes That Balancing On A Small Piece Of Plastic Can Result In Falling On The Floor. Doctors Remain Unsurprised.
Hey, you know what else can "cause" persistent sexual arousal syndrome? NOT ENOUGH."
Fixed that for you.
Re:I hate to brag... (Score:1, Funny)
...in females of the opposite sex..
So... in men then?
Re:Hold on (Score:3, Funny)
And now the slightest of vibrations, from mobile phones to food processors, turns her on.
It's more severe than I thought. She's turning into a teenage boy.
Re:I hate to brag... (Score:1, Funny)
I have also been known to cause persistent sexual arousal syndrome (PSAS) in females of the opposite sex.
The females of the opposite sex? Really? Maybe I missed something in grade school. I was sick alot... Or are you saying you like girly men?