You can't say Austrian highway authorities haven't tried everything to make travel safer. It has been revealed that they have had a team of druids on the payroll for the past two years working to drain "negative energy" from areas prone to accidents. Chief engineer Harald Dirnbacher from Austria's motorway authority says, "We were really skeptical at first and certainly didn't want people to know what we were doing, so we kept it secret." Apparently results so far have been so impressive that officials are hiring the druids nationwide. One area's fatal accident rate went from an average of six per year to zero after the druids worked their magic. I assume a few well-placed creeping doom spells can keep the motorway free of road-kill as well.
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