Outlook Plug-In Keeps Tone of Your Email In Check 119
Meshach writes "A new plug-in for Outlook will warn you if an email you are about to send is 'too emotional.' Basically the plug-in scans the email for emotions such as elation, humiliation, excitement and fear. A user can set how much emotion they want to allow in their messages and if exceeded the threshold a warning will pop up."
Elation? (Score:5, Funny)
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I'd settle for an e-mail program that just strips out the emoticons and LOLz and makes people write like someone writing, and not like someone writing while simultaneously trying to communicate body language.
Oh, and while you're at it, can you make it so the program pokes the writer in the eye every time he writes the words "win" and/or "fail" in all caps? Thanks.
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Or any use of the word "epic" without reference to history.
And sentences of the form "adjective noun is adjective".
In short, a fad phrase filter.
I wonder whether it's better implemented on the sending end, or the receiving end, as part of spam filtering. I might conceivably want to read an e-mail from someone saying "Genitorturers is win. Got 2 ticke
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I wouldn't even want to be friends with someone who writes like that.
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Me either, but I'd be happy to take their tickets.
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It's sad how many people have that attitude until they mature past their teenage years (that do not extend to their thirties).
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"Genitorturers is win. Got 2 tickets lulz, can't go criez. Broken leg is broken. Want tickets?", despite the immediate pain reading it causes.
As a Genitorturers fan shouldn't you enjoy the pain?
(I've seen the band, I didn't enjoy the BDSM displays.)
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Much like Rammstein live (their "Bueck Dich" stage performance springs to mind), you have to see it as an outrageous freak show. Unlike certain punk bands, they won't really subject the audience to real body fluids or harm, but yeah, it's transgressive art, and as such shouldn't be to most people's liking.
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Disallowing *ouch* use of "win" *ouch* would only lead to brewing *ouch* discomfort and dwindling *ouch* friendship following *ouch* shortly thereafter with growing *ouch* tension among your peers
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> Oh, and while you're at it, can you make it so the program pokes the writer in the eye every time he writes the words "win" and/or "fail" in all caps? Thanks.
THIS :-)
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ur comment iz teh FAIL!
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I'd settle for an e-mail program that just strips out the emoticons and LOLz and makes people write like someone writing, and not like someone writing while simultaneously trying to communicate body language.
Oh, and while you're at it, can you make it so the program pokes the writer in the eye every time he writes the words "win" and/or "fail" in all caps? Thanks.
I think a USB breathalyzer would accomplish much the same task...
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In the sense of "breath analyzer", yes ; but it'd have to look for a lot more than just plain old ethanol.
[SIGH] which is exactly what my baggage gets put through whenever I go to work.
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I have a buddy who wants his email postings from Saturday night delayed until Sunday evening, so he can take them all back after he sobers up.
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How it works... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:How it works... (Score:5, Funny)
Years of research went into language analysis software for this plug-in before an intern stumbled on the genius idea of simply counting the exclamation marks.
I CAN THINK OF ANOTHER CONTRIBUTING FACTOR THAT IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR AWESOME.
Re:How it works... (Score:5, Funny)
Years of research went into language analysis software for this plug-in before an intern stumbled on the genius idea of simply counting the exclamation marks.
I CAN THINK OF ANOTHER CONTRIBUTING FACTOR THAT IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR AWESOME.
IT COULD ALSO MEAN I'M PISSED OFF YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD.
BUT DOES IT CHECK THE SUBJECT LINE? (Score:3, Funny)
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LOUD NOISES!!!!
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--DEATH
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Not to mention emotes.
"Awww, sad smiley? WARNING! Sad smiley is sad."
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What I hate is when those bastards insert smiley-icons into code that I am emailing.
No I do not want a winking-smiley face in the middle of a method declaration.
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What I hate is when those bastards insert smiley-icons into code that I am emailing.
No I do not want a winking-smiley face in the middle of a method declaration.
My mind's drawing a blank on why your code would have a semi-colon followed by a parenthesis. Can you give me an example?
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What I hate is when those bastards insert smiley-icons into code that I am emailing.
You must not realize that you can disable that "feature" in both Lookout and Tbird.
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Every web forum that I've visited has a "disable emoticons" check box, and the only IM client I use (Lotus SameTime, at work) lets you delete emoticons.
So, stop whining and start looking...
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but how about the guy reading my code? Will it be disabled for him as he is reading it?
It's interesting how you keep on "moving the goal"...
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No worries there. This is Outlook, and Outlook will replace all your :-) with J
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Heh, this is true, unless you also happen to use Outlook, in which case you see a smiley
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"Multiple exclamation marks," he went on, shaking his head, "are a sure sign of a diseased mind." - Terry Pratchett, Eric
Outborg? (Score:3, Informative)
We are Outlook. Lower your firewalls, and surrender your servers. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service ours. Resistance is futile.
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Re:Old news (Score:5, Funny)
Eudora had this 10 years ago (then called 'MoodWatch'). Good to see Microsoft keeping up...
WARNING: Outlook has detected dangerously high levels of sarcasm in your post ...
Re:Old news (Score:5, Funny)
Eudora had this 10 years ago (then called 'MoodWatch'). Good to see Microsoft keeping up...
WARNING: Outlook has detected dangerously high levels of sarcasm in your post ...
Oh, a sarcasm detector, that's a real useful invention.
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Indeed, but more for some of the readers here than for the writer.
Re:Old news (Score:4, Funny)
Hi,
This is a third party app. I doubt Microsoft would even care to make something this useless. But thanks for showing that you are clueless and so is the moderator.
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I doubt Microsoft would even care to make something this useless
You mean something like.. Clippy?
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Touche, Mr. Sault.... Touche!
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
But integrating this with Clippy would be awesome!
It looks like you're writing a death threat! I can help you with that. Would you like me to:
>>> Track down the street address of the bastard you're going to kill and display it on Bing?
>>> Recommend ways to kill the bastard and vendors who might carry the supplies you need nearby?
>>> Tone down the note so the bastard doesn't see it coming?
>>> Find a therapist nearby so you can develop a sentence-reducing sense of remorse
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Peppers!
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http://www.eudora.com/email/features/moodwatch.html [eudora.com]
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Probably a reason why no email client has included this feature in 10 years....
Wonder how long before Eudora sues?
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I forgot all about that feature in Eudora.
Makes me want to fire it up again and reread all my flaming emails from 1995.
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Cool, now can they make a grammar checker? (Score:1, Funny)
Cool, now can they make a grammar checker?
I has had two much emails from grammar Natzi saying I can't write.
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the problem is no program could match the services of a good 4th grade teacher (or a good secretary).
"I has had two much emails from grammar Natzi saying I can't write."
i think what you meant to say is
"I have had to many emails from grammar Nazis stating i can not write correctly."
unless you had some other purpose...
Re:Cool, now can they make a grammar checker? (Score:4, Funny)
Your message exceeds your Whoosh Factor.
Would you like to...
[Acquire Sense of Humor] [Cancel]
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well since i have a couple crates of refurbushed Woosh the whoosh on your part is that i knew it was a joke.
and isn't a law of the GN that you will make at least one mistake when correcting someone??
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Don't mock the guy, he probably has dementia http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1096165/Its-joke-sarcasm-help-detect-dementia.html [dailymail.co.uk]
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Aside from the WOOSH mentioned by the other posters, you also used "to" when you should have used "too".
As much as I hate using net-slang, the only word I can say that describes your efforts here is FAIL.
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i think what you meant to say is "...grammar Nazis stating i can not...
I think what you meant to do was CAPITOLIZE the letter i.
I think you meant capitalize.
This kind of recursion could co on forever, the only way to terminate it is to have a grammatically correct response, that is spelled correctly, with correct punctuation etc. and without runon sentences and also following all the correct rues of the queens english etc. etc. etc.
Stop the madness.
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Don't let your shelf be lepton buy grammar Nazi.
Ivy herd that aegis a indicator of no ledge, butt they or egg Sept tons.
Aye can sea that you right quit well four sum won off yore generate ion.
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Do knot forge it too use spiel checker to catch simple miss steaks.
That why people under stained you beater.
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I has had two much emails from grammar Natzi saying I can't write.
You mean you can't *right*. Get it write dood.
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If your going to mingle the English, be doing it to excretion!
Clippy lives! (Score:2)
The king is dead. Long live the king!
Re:Clippy lives! (Score:4, Funny)
The king is dead. Long live the king!
You appear to be expressing too much frustration. Can I suggest replacing
"If goddamn clippy pops up once more the computer' s going out the fucking window"
with
"the appearance of clippy seems to be non-optimal. This may result in displacement of the computer"
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If clippy suggested it, it might be more like:
"If deity stop clippy pops up once more the computer is going out the engaging in vigorous sexual intercourse window"
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You appear to be making a defamatory pun on the word defenestraion [wikipedia.org]". Our lawyers will be getting in touch.
Vulcans on valium (Score:2)
Fuck! Computers start to fucking resemble a Vulcan on Valium!
-- which will undoubtedly be replaced by: "All computers are working fine."
Halfway there. (Score:2)
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Sarcasm (Score:2)
overly pc (Score:1)
Better Outlook than Slashdot (Score:2)
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But did they license the correct voice? (Score:2)
*clicks send furiously*
"Look %USERNAME%, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over. "
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I can feel it, please stop.
Loss of meaning (Score:4, Funny)
It has been annoying me for some time
It has been upsetting me for some time
It has been troubling me for some time
and finally replaced with
It has been concerning me for some time
All these mean different things.
My ability to get an erection has been upsetting me for some time
My wife's laughter at this has been annoying me for some time
It all started after I clicked on a goatse image, which has been troubling me for some time
And the quality of the Viagra pills I have been buying cheap from Taiwan has been concerning me for some time
Warning Outlook has detected a dangerous amount of (Score:2)
TO MUCH INFORMATION
This should be on a need to know basis, and I do not need to know.
Ignorance is bliss.
With kind regards,
The voting public.
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As long as you follow grammatical rules, there is no law that states you must use synonyms in a certain manner with the most apparent meaning first. Of course the ability to use appropriate words to convey precise meaning is a skill, akin to a harmonious melody versus a cacophony. But just like the choice of notes does not define music, the choice of words does not define language. How you speak is not set in stone. It's merely who you are.
You can send...? (Score:2)
Monopole (Score:2)
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Hmm.. if Microsoft became a monopole, that would be... interesting. Monopoles are very hard to find, ya know. What if the same happened to Microsoft?
Rumor has it (Score:2)
I want one that goes the other way (Score:2)
can I get something to spice up my bland daily work emails, with selectable characterizations?
Example: "There is an optional hot-spare that can be added to most of the redundant power supply for this blade enclosure. It is available for the 240 and 208 VAC version but not yet for the 480 three-phase. thanks very much...."
After spice-up, selecting Joe Pesci mode: "You cocksucker! You dumbFUCK! You piece of shit dumb FUCK! Dersa fucking goddam optional hot-spare can be added to most da redundant piece-o
Maybe smarter this time (Score:2)
I did remember reading about a Swedish woman who got caught by that one, she cried her heart out but none of her friends answered. Need better friends? No, just moodwatch. because the message contained "nu är jag helt slut" which is something like "now I'm completely exhausted" in Swedish but the word filter had a different interpretation...
For the paranoid (Score:2)
How long before this algorithm is hacked and reverse engineered, and anyone can use an app to tell if your letter was written using this app or not? That way clearly you would be flagged as an unstable person who has to rely on an application to moderate your abundant hostility. Job application refused!
I can see you're upset about this, Dave (Score:1)
I can't let you do that, Dave.
Dr Who? (Score:1)
Can't see it working in the real world (Score:1)
If this actually worked I can think of a few people that it might help. As rude and obnoxious some people's e-mails may be in tone often that tone reflects the kind of person or the mood of the person fairly accurately.
So if some of my psychotic customers were to suddenly start sending mellow polite e-mails I would definitely be suspicious at first. Then somewhat lost as I would not be able to gauge the true feeling behind the polite tone.
To me it is like putting o n an act - people who go about all smiles
Milquetoast alerts (Score:2)
The reverse detection might be useful too: you are sounding too much like a equivocating manager type. You need to show more pathos, not less!
Like a "dumb email filter"? (Score:1)
I doubt that it would catch everything (Score:1)
Dir sirs
I am hopeful that your consumption of bovine expellent will cause a terminal condition.
Wishing you a wonderful trip to the warmest depths of an ice free land of universal repentance.
Llamas? (Score:2)
The concept was introduced at least in 2000, but the inclusion of 'llama' as a warning word may have reduced its effectiveness.
Beginner's Introduction to Perl - Part 3 - Perl.com [perl.com]
Borg alert VS Rage Puppies (Score:1)
"Do you understand them?" (Score:1)
The demo on their website completely failed to flag up the sentence "Do you understand them?" [the terms and conditions] which I would consider quite condescending, and more offensive than the one it did flag up which was "It is time to either solidify matters or move on."