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'u' — the First Authentic Klingon Opera On Earth 165

j0ris writes "The Klingon are passionate opera-lovers, but little is known about their highly evolved form of musical expression. Floris Schonfeld is the initiator and director of 'u', the first authentic Klingon opera on earth. He studied Klingon music theory for over a year, and together with several experts developed various indigenous Klingon instruments. The Terran Klingon Research Ensemble has been set up to further develop a coherent Klingon musical practice amongst human musicians. 'u' premieres on September 9 in The Hague, Netherlands. An invitation by Klingon language expert Marc Okrand has been sent to Kronos, home planet of the Klingons, via radio telescope."

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'u' — the First Authentic Klingon Opera On Earth

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  • by Jurily ( 900488 ) <jurily&gmail,com> on Thursday August 12, 2010 @10:14AM (#33227770)

    Does it sound like beating someone to death with something large and heavy?

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by natehoy ( 1608657 )

      Yes. And they serve food that isn't cooked properly and stands a decent chance of killing you. In other words, this is pretty much a normal rock concert except the performers would never bite the heads off a live bat - there's no honor in it.

    • by realsilly ( 186931 ) on Thursday August 12, 2010 @11:03AM (#33228352)

      The last line of the opera is "Today is a Good day to Die" sung in harmony with those that will do battle before they kill each other.

  • Uh huh (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Quiet_Desperation ( 858215 ) on Thursday August 12, 2010 @10:15AM (#33227788)

    The Klingon are passionate opera-lovers, but little is known about their highly evolved form of musical expression.

    I imagine so, what with them being fictional and all.

    • Re:Uh huh (Score:5, Funny)

      by Attila Dimedici ( 1036002 ) on Thursday August 12, 2010 @10:18AM (#33227802)
      Personally, I loved the phrase "Authentic Klingon Opera". Isn't that similar to "Genuine Imitation Leather"?
      • Re: (Score:1, Insightful)

        by Anonymous Coward

        No, it's similar to "Genuine Nerf [] Leather"

      • Isn't that similar to "Genuine Imitation Leather"?

        Hello, I am Ricardo Montalban and it's more like soft Corinthian leather.

      • by arth1 ( 260657 )

        Personally, I loved the phrase "Authentic Klingon Opera". Isn't that similar to "Genuine Imitation Leather"?

        No. Leather exists, while Klingons only exist in our thoughts. That makes everything authentic.

        It's more like the equivalent of "Authentic Biblical Dramatization", and there is no shortage of those.

        • Let's see: "Authentic"/"Genuine", yeah that's analogous; "Klingon"/"Imitation", ok that's not analogous, but both mean something that isn't real; "Opera"/"Leather", yeah those are both real things.
        • by PRMan ( 959735 )
          Ah, but unlike the Klingon empire, the Bible has literally thousands if not tens of thousands of external references (names, places, archaeology, etc.), meaning that all the events in it took place in actual places with seemingly correct cultural descriptions. Even if you do not believe in the miracles, the rest of the setting of a Biblical dramatization can be very authentic.
  • Has Geert Wilders made a press release about how the Klingons are trying to undermine human culture with their evil traditions yet?
    • Sadly, the Klingons probably will not be in attendance. The invitation was sent by radio-telescope, which suffers from a speed-of-light limitation.

      Rest assured, when it arrives, the Klingons will be mighty peeved at our lack of courtesy in neglecting to send it via subspace, and will come and wipe us out. Our only hope is to hold an encore performance upon their arrival and to do a really good job. Then they might allow us to die with honor, as equals, in the field of battle.

  • by RevWaldo ( 1186281 ) on Thursday August 12, 2010 @10:37AM (#33227978)
    “I don't mind what language an opera is sung in, so long as it is a language I don't understand.” - Sir Edward Appleton, noted physicist.

  • by Anonymous Coward

    An authentic Klingon opera ends with the cast killing off every member of the audience.

    • by SQLGuru ( 980662 )

      The premier isn't until September.....give it time.

    • That's a bit much, but someone is supposed to die at the end of a Klingon opera.. so yeah.. it's not remotely authentic.

      I wish Klingons spoke old English, since they're so like the anglo saxons. Imagine if all this energy was going into bringing that back!
  • An invitation by Klingon language expert Marc Okrand has been sent to Kronos, home planet of the Klingons, via radio telescope.

    Just waiting if they are going to accept or not

  • aka What Would Kayles Do?
  • You would think something like this would have been done as an off Broadway thing a long time ago. Judging by some of the stuff (re: crap) that has been produced over the years, this has just as much, if not more, legitimacy. I think it would do just fine in ticket sales.
  • by colinrichardday ( 768814 ) <> on Thursday August 12, 2010 @11:07AM (#33228408)

    Unless it's a subspace transmission, it's not reaching Kronos before September 9th.

  • by GodWasAnAlien ( 206300 ) on Thursday August 12, 2010 @11:13AM (#33228502)

    Surely you must know at least one theme from "Aktuh and Melota".

  • by Anonymous Coward

    For my targ?

  • I hope they don't send their music critics or else we wont be seeing very many more productions like this. How do you think their opera got so good? Natural selection.

  • Totally alien language, yet a question ("When will it happen?") is indicated by intonation, and one identical to English at that? What are the odds?

    Instead, how about if a question is indicated by a gentle squeezing of the inner butt muscles, followed by rapid blinking, a slight tilt of the head in the direction of the sun, and an excretion of Corduroy smelling gel from the small pores of the middle armpit?


  • by dangitman ( 862676 ) on Thursday August 12, 2010 @11:55AM (#33228990)

    I'm curious as to how there are "indigenous Klingon instruments" in this, when there's the small fact that KLINGONS AREN'T REAL.

  • Intriguing (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Araneas ( 175181 ) <`moc.sregor' `ta' `dnalilligp'> on Thursday August 12, 2010 @12:00PM (#33229042)
    So it begins. A group of fans takes some fictional, but well grounded, movie dialogue, expands that out into a language. The language gets tacked onto a particular Con culture and both grow with some vigour. With this opera, we are seeing the creation of a fine arts and by extension, philosophy. A hundred years from now when we have followed Hawking's command to get off the planet to survive, will humankind see Klingon enclaves on Mars? Are we in fact creating our own antagonists? Add a little religiosity to the mix and a future Terran space navy could find itself fighting D7s manned by biologically Human but culturally Klingon beings. Gene would be happy he got the appearance right the first time. Or perhaps this is what he was getting at all along - we are Klingons.
    • Or perhaps this is what he was getting at all along - we are Klingons.

      No, different groups of humans are different races from Star Trek.

      For instance, Americans are Ferengi, with their credo "profit ueber alles".

  • by Sponge Bath ( 413667 ) on Thursday August 12, 2010 @12:18PM (#33229254)
    ...the fat geek in a Klingon costume sings.
  • Well... (Score:3, Funny)

    by Dzimas ( 547818 ) on Thursday August 12, 2010 @12:39PM (#33229500)
    I'd prefer a Cylon opera. The cylons could give away the model of your choice with each ticket. Of course, the world would only have days to live, but at least thousands of geeks would get to spend those days with Lucy Lawless. ;)
    • by JSBiff ( 87824 )

      Lucy Lawless is *so* 1990's. I want to spend our last few days with Felicia Day, or perhaps Eliza Dushku.

  • Authentic? (Score:1, Redundant)

    by markbark ( 174009 )

    Repeat after me: "Star Trek is NOT a documentary!"

  • I can only hope that there is an aria including the line 'I will chop you up' or something similar.
    • We can but hope.

      I can just imagine a stirring rendition of:
      "'obmaQ vIQach 'ej porghlIj 'ay'Du' vIchev."

      The sheer elegance of "I wield an axe and separate your body parts." is surely breathtaking.
      • Bareword found where operator expected at line 1, near "'ej porghlIj 'ay'Du"
                (Missing operator before ay'Du?)
        String found where operator expected at line 1, at end of line
                (Missing semicolon on previous line?)
        syntax error at line 1, near "'ej porghlIj 'ay'Du"
        Can't find string terminator "'" anywhere before EOF at line 1.
  • "Get a life will you, people?"


    An invitation by Klingon language expert Marc Okrand has been sent to Kronos, home planet of the Klingons, via radio telescope.

    I'm willing to suspend belief as to whether Klingons exist, Kronos exists or whether anyone has reproduced authentic Klingon instruments but damn it I will not buy into sending signals via radio telescope. They're not transmitters.

  • by Floris Schnfeld ( 1877236 ) on Thursday August 12, 2010 @02:05PM (#33230442) Homepage
    Dear Slashdotters, Thank you for your comments and your interest in our endeavors. My name is Floris Schönfeld and I am the initiator of the project 'u' (a.k.a the douchebag in the video.) I would like to stress that the submitted video is a documentary a.i. everything you see in the video really happened. We realize that the chances of receiving some genuine Klingon guests is slim, but as I said in the video we hope to see them at the premiere. To ensure the authenticity of our attempt at reaching the home planet we worked with Star Trek science advisors Andre Bormanis and Michael Okuda. For more information on the attempted contacting and the rest of the project please see [] If you have any other questions concerning the opera please let me know. Best regards, Floris Schönfeld
  • I'm not a Trekkie, although I am a bit of a sci-fi buff. The Klingon homeworld is called Qo'noS. This is Slashdot, if we can't get this stuff right here then something is very wrong.
  • the dedication of ST Fans who would go to all this bother to produce a fakeumentary to get advertising, and who have produced a Klingon Opera. The fans of the Klingon language are very persistent and devoted, if perhaps a bit odd to say the least. Its entirely silly to me of course, but to each their own.

    If you want more:

    'U' recreating the primal sound of Klingon Opera: []

    Scene 3: []

  • This is a thinly veiled ploy to get the Klingons arrested and before the Inter Planetary Court of Justice in The Hague.

    Depending on who's side you are it's brilliant or disgusting.

  • by valnar ( 914809 )

    Uh, wut?

  • It can't be authentic because Klingons are Fictional.
    There, I said it, now go back to your basements and cry!
  • although I don't know if they will be able to get public liability insurance for the audience .....
  • NO U []

  • the video until I realized I really didn't give a shit and moved on to another story.

Karl's version of Parkinson's Law: Work expands to exceed the time alloted it.