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Microsoft Holds iPhone Funeral Event 311

theodp writes "TechFlash reports that Microsoft celebrated the completion and upcoming launch of Windows Phone 7 on Friday with a 'Windows Phone Pride Parade' complete with zombies, a 'Thriller' Dance, and pallbearers carrying a giant iPhone. 'These kind of "ship" parties are common throughout the industry,' explained Microsoft communications VP Frank Shaw. 'It's a great way for teams that have worked overtime to create a kick-ass product blow off steam and have a little fun.'"
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Microsoft Holds iPhone Funeral Event

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  • by bcohen5055 ( 1428973 ) on Saturday September 11, 2010 @06:17PM (#33548538)
    Did I miss the windows vista funeral? How about Windows ME when was that? I had a great obituary prepared
  • by tomhudson ( 43916 ) <barbara.hudson@b ... u d s o n . c om> on Saturday September 11, 2010 @06:18PM (#33548540) Journal
    And the KIN 2.

    Do we get one for Windows Phone 7 - the Next of KIN?

  • Are they 'kin mad? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by gilesjuk ( 604902 ) <giles...jones@@@zen...co...uk> on Saturday September 11, 2010 @06:20PM (#33548554)

    Hmm let me see, which company recently withdrew a phone after a few weeks on sale?

    Why will Windows Phone 7 succeed when Kin failed?

    Windows Mobile sold reasonably well, but all the OEMs who pumped out WM handsets have largely moved on and release Android phones now.

    • by jd2112 ( 1535857 ) on Saturday September 11, 2010 @06:54PM (#33548770)
      The Kin failed because it was a somewhat-smarter-than-a-free-with-activation phone selling at smartphone prices. From what I've seen Windows Mobile 7 might have a shot at a respectable market share but I think it will be insufficient to fend off the onslaught of Android and IPhone,
      • by UnknowingFool ( 672806 ) on Saturday September 11, 2010 @07:00PM (#33548830)
        I haven't seen much of Windows 7 that puts it above Android and iPhone. In some respects, it appears several years behind the other two. The only thing that has kept WinMobile relevant has been business users. Windows 7 is breaking all backwards compatibility forcing those users to migrate.
      • Optimistic... (Score:4, Interesting)

        by Junta ( 36770 ) on Saturday September 11, 2010 @08:05PM (#33549208)

        MS has been nothing if not consistent in mobile phone marketshare. Up til now, I'd characterize it as not even really trying seriously. Now that they have started to try in earnest, every move they make is a huge head scratcher.

        Kin is a shining example of MS not 'getting it'.

        Every demo and discussion of WinMo7 seems to show that not only do they not get it, but they are actively screwing over WinMo6 users too. Sideloaded apps? No, copying Apple means none of that. Copy and paste? No, they copy iPhone 2G. Multitasking? Again... no.. Decent UI? No, that would mean knocking off Apple *too* much....

        Android is taking it without any contest (though I like WebOS better).

      • by hardburn ( 141468 ) <hardburn&wumpus-cave,net> on Saturday September 11, 2010 @09:50PM (#33549686)

        After looking at Wikipedia's KIN Missing Features page [wikipedia.org], I found that every single bullet point there deserves a Picard Faceplam. I mean, no calendar app? At all? Even Free w/Activation phones get some kind of calendar app.

    • by mike260 ( 224212 )

      Why will Windows Phone 7 succeed when Kin failed?

      Because it is a better platform with better carrier support and (one would hope) better marketing?

      • Even in the height of the Win Mobile usage, users were not exactly clamoring for one. They got one because it was one of the few choices that they had for business. With Win 7 Phone, MS has broken all backwards compatibility meaning there is no reason why business users have to stay with MS. With the current feature set, it appears that MS is abandoning business users completely and going after consumers
    • IDC and Gartner (Score:2, Interesting)

      by symbolset ( 646467 )
      The usual Microsoft fanboys at IDC and Gartner have both weighed in. They don't see Windows Phone 7 being a breakout hit - at best it gets 7 points of share before Windows Mobile resumes its long decline.
  • Kin (Score:2, Funny)

    by zonker ( 1158 )

    Funny... nobody showed up for the Kin's funeral.

  • HA HA HA (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Antisyzygy ( 1495469 ) on Saturday September 11, 2010 @06:21PM (#33548566)
    Dude, I am not really an Apple person, but I seriously doubt a Windows based phone will bet able to take down the iPhone. The funeral aspect just makes Microsoft look like a bunch of twats.
    • Re:HA HA HA (Score:5, Funny)

      by Reaperducer ( 871695 ) on Saturday September 11, 2010 @06:27PM (#33548610)

      In the echo chamber of Microsoft love that is the greater Redmond/Bellevue/Issaquah/Seattle area, this makes perfect sense.

      People talk about the Steve Jobs reality distortion field that affects people near him. The MS RDF engulfs the entire metro. It's really pathetic to witness.

      • by macshit ( 157376 )

        OTOH, pretty much every MS dev I know seems to have an iphone...

        (and of course MS even does iphone development, e.g., for Bing!)

        • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

          Yes but was that by choice? After the iPhone stomping incident by Ballmer how many devs would show an iPhone or Android. MS Devs having a Win 7 Phone is nothing. When MS accountants, HR people, security guards, etc are asking for a Win 7 Phone, then that might worth noting.
          • by macshit ( 157376 )

            Hm, of course it was by choice -- from what I can tell (based on the occasional talk about phones), "ordinary people" (i.e., not Balmer and other "public faces") at MS are pretty much as infatuated with the iphone as the rest of the country is... it's the cool thing to have, even there.

      • People talk about the Steve Jobs reality distortion field that affects people near him. The MS RDF engulfs the entire metro. It's really pathetic to witness.

        Steve Jobs' RDF can't be seen for the same reason the magnetosphere can't be seen. It's around all of us, with a radius measured in thousands of miles. I wouldn't be surprised if it's effecting people in low Earth orbit.

    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by robmv ( 855035 )

      Zombies??? What are they telling us? that Windows Phone 7 is like a dead man walking?

    • Re:HA HA HA (Score:4, Insightful)

      by magus_melchior ( 262681 ) on Saturday September 11, 2010 @06:43PM (#33548710) Journal

      If I didn't know any better, I'd say they're still sore about the "I'm a Mac" ads. Although they weren't very accurate and they were arrogant as hell, Microsoft's responses ("look ma, cheap PC with a ton of bloatware I don't need!" and of course Seinfeld & Bill) have been absolutely pathetic-- and in the case of mobile, they had a golden opportunity to rip Apple a good one over their response to the iPhone 4 antenna design flaw. I mean, come on... they had a ton of examples from other handset makers.

      Watching Microsoft's recent PR is sort of like watching a grown man miss a tee-ball. In three swings.

      • If I didn't know any better, I'd say they're still sore about the "I'm a Mac" ads. Although they weren't very accurate and they were arrogant as hell, Microsoft's responses ("look ma, cheap PC with a ton of bloatware I don't need!" and of course Seinfeld & Bill) have been absolutely pathetic-- and in the case of mobile, they had a golden opportunity to rip Apple a good one over their response to the iPhone 4 antenna design flaw. I mean, come on... they had a ton of examples from other handset makers.

        Watching Microsoft's recent PR is sort of like watching a grown man miss a tee-ball. In three swings.

        I tend to agree. With all the money those companies wield, how hard is it to hire a top-notch ad agency? Or, for that matter, hire the best advertising people in the business and turn them loose. Microsoft's people must think that PC means "Politically Correct" not "Personal Computer."

        Really, many of Microsoft's commercials are just painful to watch ("Windows 7 was my idea!" What the hell does that mean?) Well, now there was that cool X-Box ad with the baby being ejected from his mother's body, flying th

  • Grip and Tip (Score:2, Offtopic)

    by Gazzonyx ( 982402 )
    A bit off topic, but I'd like my fellow slashdotters to do me a favor...
    If anything ever happens to me, pour out a 40 into the gutter for a money makin' thug.
    Then pour out a caffeinated beverage into the gutter for me. I'd prefer RockStar, but Monster or even English Breakfast Tea would suffice.
    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward

      The fuck?

  • They need that delusional psychosis sorted now. I can just picture a group of men in Armani suits wandering around the streets of Seattle saying "I love my Kin" over and over again.

  • by MobileTatsu-NJG ( 946591 ) on Saturday September 11, 2010 @06:29PM (#33548638)

    Okay, so we have our iPhone fans and Android fans... we need to make some room for Win7 Phone fans here. Do we just take a few volunteers now or do we wait for a few hostile stories to come along so a handful of people can conclude that those stores aren't true and become fans that way?

    • Welcome welcome to Windows Seven

      Wrapped up safely again

      In bubble wrapped Microsoft Heaven

    • Future Fandom (Score:3, Informative)

      by Tailhook ( 98486 )

      we need to make some room for Win7 Phone fans here

      How many Windows 7 Phone fans attended the Win7 PhoneFest in 2011?


    • Windows Phone 7 really has one target and that's to be more usable, more enterprise friendly and more stable than BlackBerry 6.

      If they're seriously targeting iPhones, I suspect a Zune like adoption rate. If they're targeting BB, they may have a hit on their hands.

  • Windows 7 phone is DOA.

    OK to have the funeral too. For both of them.

    The thing they missed is that Android has done the killing.

    • We've heard much the same from you about iPod killers for nearly a decade. How's that working out for you?

    • by Valdrax ( 32670 )

      Any, you know, substance to that claim? If you've got numbers, I'm all ears. (Eyes?)

      Or is just a "My team is better than yours," cheerleading kind of thing?

  • I saw Windows Phone 7 demoed in the keynote at Tech Ed Australia this year, and as most of the audience it was a great big "who cares". Nothing revolutionary, ugly UI. They even demoed four WM7 applications which had been developed, all of which were your standard application which sources data from a website and displays it for the phones UI. You could tell in their voices they were trying to make it sound exciting, but it's nothing iPhone/Android doesn't already have.

  • by Anonymous Coward

    Clippy: "I see you're having a funeral, would you like help with that?"

  • by RyanFenton ( 230700 ) on Saturday September 11, 2010 @06:37PM (#33548676)

    If you know your product is highly likely going to fail, why not add some poetry to existence by showing the maximum hubris possible?

    If you can't be a good example of success, then you can also play a role of being a very loud example of failure.

    The problem is that, at looking to politics and business, most extremely loud examples of failure end up being repeated anyway the very next political/financial cycle, with very little modifications to counter that same method of failure.

    Ultimately, it is because people remember claims, not results [chicagobooth.edu] - so the loud hubris ends up attracting more imitation than the results drive a logical reaction.

    Ryan Fenton

  • What happens when you try to bury someone and they aren't dead yet?

    No doubt their goal will be to put YOU in that hole.

    • Interesting way to put it. After the comments by Michael Dell that Apple should have shut down when they were at their lowest point, Steve Jobs put them in his sights. When Apple's market cap exceeded Dell's, Steve Jobs sent out a company wide email about it.
  • by astrashe ( 7452 ) on Saturday September 11, 2010 @06:42PM (#33548698) Journal

    These guys used to strike terror into people -- they'd kill startups by just hinting that they were working on something similar.

    I never thought I'd feel sorry for them.

  • Engineers and managers at Apple meet in a boring, windowless conference room to discuss how to address weaknesses in the iPhone, what features should be added and how they should be implemented, and how to sell more units.

    • ...and presumably the only thing they could come up with after all that was to tell Steve Jobs to use the word "magical" in his press conferences.

  • They are so insecure that they must compare their product to the iPhone and, worst, hire dancers to dance in the street for their product. As one of the biggest software company you would expect them to set standards but they are only ride the "me, too" train. Like first Zune, the "me, too" iPod, now the WM7, the "me, too" iPhone and Android.
    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      Microsoft as of late has been shown to be a company that doesn't even seem to know what is going on inside the company let alone the outside world. From what I have read(and just my own experience working in an unrelated but huge company) there are a lot of "empire builders" at Microsoft, ie managers who only care about increasing their influence and power in the company, nothing else. And to do that they constantly try to undermine other managers at Microsoft and give their pet project top billing. You
  • "I like our strategy. I like it a lot." Funerals aside, how's that working out for you Steve?
  • And of course we know that in the unlikely event that Apple survives the irresistible force that is WP7, Microsoft will acknowledge that the rumors of the iPhone's death might have been somewhat exaggerated.
  • It's an iFuneral. Duh.

  • by Jim Buzbee ( 517 ) on Saturday September 11, 2010 @07:02PM (#33548850) Homepage

    Why doing the filming [techcrunch.com] of course. Big Fail for Microsoft...

  • It's Android who is stealing the mobile partners to Microsoft, not Apple.

    • Yep. Android is customizable and free: Two things that manufacturers can't get from MS. With Win 7 Phone, it appears that MS is imposing more conditions to make Win 7 Phones more consistent. That can't be looked favorably upon by manufacturers.
    • Because everything about the revamp of WinMo7 was to mimic Apple. Remove multitasking intentionally, remove copy and paste intentionally (even Apple rectified that long ago, but MS seems enamored of that).

      MS observed that they are firmly in the 'other' category in market share, took a glance and saw Apple with the biggest slice at the time, didn't look at trend data to see where it was going nor made the connection about partners vs homegrown phone, and shamelessly started ripping it off inconsistently, bu

  • Reportedly, he also took off a shoe and banged it on a table.

    (Or maybe there was something about a chair. :P )

  • Notify next of Kin (Score:5, Insightful)

    by broKenfoLd ( 755627 ) on Saturday September 11, 2010 @07:26PM (#33549004)
    Dear Microsoft, Seriously? Anyone remember the Microsoft Kin, launched in 2010? If the iPhone has died, then the Microsoft offering was a stillborn. http://news.cnet.com/8301-13860_3-20009336-56.html [cnet.com]
  • http://www.seattlezombies.com/ [seattlezombies.com] is a good place to start.
  • I wonder how many of the attendees had an iphone in their back pocket..

  • by AusIV ( 950840 ) on Saturday September 11, 2010 @07:41PM (#33549066)

    I'm getting tired of all this circle jerking about smart phones. There can be more than one smartphone operating system. There doesn't have to be a "victor" to have a successful smartphone OS. There's no reason that the success of Windows 7 phone (or whatever it's called, I don't really care) has to be predicated on the death of the iPhone. The two can coexist. Yes, they'll compete with each other, but there doesn't always have to be a winner and a loser.

    I'm an android fan. My current phone is Android based, and my next phone will probably be android based. But if someone would prefer an iPhone, a Windows Mobile phone, a phone from Palm or Blackberry, I really don't care. The existence of competitors in no way reduces the utility of my own phone. In fact, the existence of competition probably leads to improvements for all of the phones.

    • by Aussie ( 10167 )

      Sure there could be more than one. The problems start when exclusive deals are made. Let's say for example that Skype were to make some sort of deal with Apple that excluded Android phones from decent support or your local telco makes a deal with Microsoft and supports certain network features on Windows 7 phones only. Multiple smartphone platforms would be great if corporations didn't view it as an opportunity to be dicks.

    • Its not a war where there is a victor and the loser is obliterated from existence. Here, the winner is simply the company/phone/OS with the most market share and the loser still exists and can even be profitable. Perhaps the phrasing needs changing, but your little gripe is moot.
    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      It's just another in a long line of IT religious wars. Anyone who takes it serious is an idiot. Maybe it's the geek version of sports rivalries.

  • Who is this Microsoft that you speak of?

  • by lawpoop ( 604919 ) on Saturday September 11, 2010 @08:13PM (#33549256) Homepage Journal
    It's pretty sad that the events around the launch of their product are about the iPhone rather than their own. Don't they have anything to tout about Windows phone 7? Or can they only tear down the other guy?
  • Fortunately, the life of my iPhone is insured for a surprisingly large amount.

  • It is so characteristic of Microsoft to think it is more important that the iPhone fail than that Microsoft succeed. And a mock-funeral is such a sad example of sympathetic magic, and reminiscent of efforts to think away the Great Depression.

    During the Great Depression, people were constantly suggesting that the U.S. think its way out of the depression simply by adopting an optimistic attitude. People put up billboards saying "Wasn't the Depression terrible?" on the assumption that if people got in the habi

  • ...but it sure as hell is not due to Windows Phone 7... or any Microsoft product.

    I work at RadioShack (yeah, only job I could find... give me a break) and it seems like the majority of people coming through are very much over the iPhone. The other cell companies are making phones that are much better than the iPhone (statistically speaking, not trying to troll some fanbois) and Google has done well with their marketing of Android OS. Apple's new releases don't bring enough new features to keep existing us
  • What goes "Ha ha ha ha ha... Oh damn."?

    Steve Jobs pissing his pants from laughing so hard.

  • Jesus, people. (Score:4, Insightful)

    by flimflammer ( 956759 ) on Sunday September 12, 2010 @04:26AM (#33551218)

    Why is everyone taking the iPhone "funeral" thing so literally as if Microsoft actually expects to be the end of the iPhone?

    They're just goofing off, just like that cheesy internal marketing video that surfaced on the web a few years back. Are Microsoft employees not allowed to have any fun by poking fun at their competitors?

Thufir's a Harkonnen now.