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Crime Idle

Man Forced To Eat Own Beard 16

They take lawnmower sales serious in Kentucky. Nobody knows this better than Harvey Westmoreland who was forced to eat his own beard at gunpoint after an argument about a lawnmower. "Troy offered to buy it from me for $250 dollars. I paid twenty bucks for it. He thought I was trying to cheat him. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, there were knives and guns and everything just went haywire. (Then) they cut my beard and forced me to eat it," he said.

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Man Forced To Eat Own Beard

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  • Never considered this a benefit of keeping my Norelco set on '2'.

    • But that's not a beard, then. I usually have mine on 5, but it's gone well beyond 9 now. This is getting out of control. Some might say 'hairy'.
  • What? (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Monkeedude1212 ( 1560403 ) on Monday November 15, 2010 @06:53PM (#34236762) Journal

    This doesn't even make sense. I don't even...

    Troy offered to buy it from me for $250 dollars. I paid twenty bucks for it.

    So he has the opportunity to make a cool $230 - and somehow he ends up at gunpoint? What the what the what?

    • Presumably he can't get a replacement for $250...

    • I think it went more like this...

      (Prequel: Harv buys lawnmower – a great deal for only $20.)
      Troy: Hey, that’s a pretty nice lawnmower, you interested in selling it?
      Harv: Dunno. How much you willing to give me for it?
      Troy: Oh, how ’bout $250.
      Harv: Hell... in that case, it’s yours.
      (Troy leaves with his lawnmower. Camera pans, following Troy as he merrily pushes his lawnmower down the sidewalk, whistling a little ditty. Enter JimBob stage right.)
      JimBob: Aft’rnoon, Troy.
      Troy: Hey.

    • No, He wouldn't sell it for $20. Selling it at a profit would have been a rip off. That is what the dispute is over. He would not sell it at cost.

  • They cut his beard and forced him to eat it

    ......a permament loss, as his beard will never grow back

  • but then ah foun a big ole soasuj in there an ah et that wit sum cream corn ah foun in ere too. Dam ah jes wish it waren't at no gunpoint tho.
  • by Anonymous Coward

    The scariest thing about that story is the legal consequences of their actions:

    Hill and Holt pleaded guilty. It's expected they'll be fined and sentenced to supervised diversion.

    Clearly, in the U.S. violent crime is tolerated and condoned, but victimless crime (like crimes that involve "sex" and "drugs") often involve many years in a penitentiary.

    Ref: []

  • Home of the Creationism Museum and conflict resolution involving knives, guns, and eating hair.
  • The article doesn't mention that at some point during the sale, the seller said something like "If you can find a better deal on this mower, I'll eat my beard!"

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died. -- Steven Wright