Software Firm Looking To Hire Naked Coders 369
Nude House, a Buckinghamshire computer software and naturist company, is looking for coders who aren't afraid to let a few Cheetos fall where no Cheetos have fallen before. The company would like to become the first all nude tech business. From the article: "Company spokesman Chris Taylor told The Register: 'As far as I am aware this is not only the first UK office job for naturists in web-coding or web-selling, but is also the first worldwide facility for naturists to earn substantial sums of money from work that incidentally provides them with the capability to work entirely without clothes.'"
Really?!?! (Score:5, Funny)
first worldwide facility for naturists to earn substantial sums of money from work that incidentally provides them with the capability to work entirely without clothes
Um... I can think of a few others. Just sayin'.
Re:Really?!?! (Score:5, Funny)
I have always loved the term "naturists" for people who like to be naked.
You've got to give them credit for insisting on nudity even in the face of everyone else hoping they stay completely covered.
One thing, at least "conceal/carry" isn't an issue for these people. You don't have to be worried about a naked man pulling a gun on you.
I think.
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c | n > k
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Um, guns shooting penises and breasts? :P
Re:Really?!?! (Score:5, Insightful)
The problem with everyone being naked is that our bodies shed a lot of icky stuff all the time that is normally contained in our clothes. Smell the crotch of your pants next time you take them off. Do you want your office chairs to smell like that? I think most men would admit that they sometimes leak a bit after going to the loo.
Naturalists often put down a small towel to sit on for that reason. It doesn't make sense to me, why not just put some boxers on and get a bit of support and comfort if you need to carry a (probably rather icky) towel around with you? I suppose it must be a philosophical consideration rather than a practical one.
Re:Really?!?! (Score:4, Funny)
I respectfully decline your offer to smell the crotch of my pants.
Re:Really?!?! (Score:5, Funny)
My eight-year old Shepherd-mix loves that smell. If you come to my house, you can expect her to drink deeply of that divine bouquet.
Re:Really?!?! (Score:5, Funny)
You don't have to be worried about a naked man pulling a gun on you.
I know about a man who could pull this stunt. I won't post a link though, indeed whenever I post that link, I get modded down...
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But if you happen to be so inclined, they're naturally well lubed. Just make sure that you don't bend over in their presence.
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Re:Really?!?! (Score:5, Funny)
The terms you're groping for are whore, prostitute, call-girl, escort, and courtesan. Each level up level are generally more attractive, more discrete, and cost more. If you're looking to spend $5, you're at the whore level (i.e., $5 crack whore). Around $100 (depending on your menu selection) you'd be on the prostitute level. When you get up to escort, prepare to spend hundreds per hour. And if you're even considering the courtesan level, you'd better have references (other clients, and/or courtesans), and money to burn. Depending on the courtesan, you could spend thousands per hour (if they even do the hourly thing) to tens of thousands for just a weekend.
Inverse to the payment level is the number of clients they service. A "high class escort" may only have a dozen or so customers that they service per year, as they usually demand (and receive) repeat business. A courtesan may have a much smaller client base, but they find themselves well off, and frequently travel a lot with their customers. At that level, their customers frequently have them travel on business trips with them, to make the "right" impression that not only is the business man successful, but he has a beautiful girlfriend with him, despite the fact that when the trip is over, he may not see her again until the next time he needs to make the same appearance.
And yes, you're right. There are plenty of levels of coders. We're all whores. We render a service for the client who's willing to pay the right price. Remember that next time you get your paycheck, and when your "boss" tells you that he needs something you really don't want to do. But I sir, am an IT courtesan. I'm paid very well, and my client base is very small and select.
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Re:Really?!?! (Score:5, Funny)
It's a kind of math that can keep secrets.
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strippers make much more than hookers.
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No pimps to beat them up and steal it....
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Maybe if you're a male porn star.
Correction, maybe if you are a STRAIGHT male porn star. Gay ones make quite a bit. This is not from experience mind you, but a quick google does tell.
Re:Really?!?! (Score:5, Funny)
Well played.
Publicity (Score:5, Insightful)
Some companies will do anything to get a little publicity. Oh look, it worked.
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I find it funny that they claim the customer will have no idea the employees will be nude while the company is named "Nude House".
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This is new? (Score:5, Funny)
I thought telecommuting had been around for some time.
Re:This is new? (Score:5, Funny)
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I thought telecommuting had been around for some time.
...and given the average attractiveness within the industry this is a good thing ;-)...
Eww (Score:5, Funny)
A goddamn sausage fest is not a pretty site. Plus given the typical programmer's appearance... oh God help me!
Imagine how the one and only female programmer would feel.
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She'll fit in with her unix beard.
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Ergh.... That was just unnecessary!
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Seriously though, part of the point of naturism is to demystify the human body and de-sexualize nudity. A group of serious naturists isn't going to be leering at the Office Chick, hiding their chubbies behind cans of Red Bull.
I do think it's silly, and I doubt requiring employees to work au naturel would stand up to a legal challenge, but hey. More power to them if they can make it work.
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Yea, because this job is going to be just filled with applicatants who are 'serious naturists' rather than a bunch of socially inept geeks (male) who think it would be awesome to work at a nude office which testosterone has blinded them from realizing that its going to be full of people EXACTLY LIKE THEM.
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Programmers have testosterone? I thought that's been replaced by caffeine generations ago.
Re:Eww (Score:5, Insightful)
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Yes, it is, when you have that someone. But when you don't, it's a constant irritation no matter how much you scratch (or rub) it.
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And this is good... why? What's next? Making all food bland, making all beverages alcohol free, and eliminating all colors from the environment?
Re:Eww (Score:5, Insightful)
Seriously though, part of the point of naturism is to demystify the human body and de-sexualize nudity.
Given that the guy specifically wants to hire female coders, I have my doubts about his motivations in this case.
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And you wouldn't like it because you're not a naturist. Nobody's forcing you into their building.
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Imagine how the one and only female programmer would feel.
Appreciated?
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Oh, the Cheetos have fallen there... (Score:4, Funny)
I work from home you insensitive clods!
Just a no on this one please. (Score:4, Funny)
A job like this is just plan nuts.
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Re:Just a no on this one please. (Score:5, Funny)
My Job (Score:2)
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I didn't get there yet, I still try to get Stallman out of my head.
Re:My Job (Score:5, Informative)
Regardless of what they say, naturalists don't do what they do so they can look at other naked people.
They do what they do so other people will look at them.
Anything else they claim is simply a lie, denial, or an attempt to distract you from the truth.
Naturalists [wikipedia.org] do what they do because they want to look at naked animals and learn from it. Anyone claiming anything else is confusing them with naturists.
Naturists do what they do because they don't want to wear clothes, or because they think social hangups about covering up specific body parts are silly.
People who want other people to look at their naked bodies are called exhibitionists. People who want to look at other naked people are voyeurs. Both might pretend to be naturists, but it's not what naturism is about.
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Naturists do what they do because they don't want to wear clothes, or because they think social hangups about covering up specific body parts are silly.
Modesty may be silly, but putting coverings on body parts that leak inside stuff isn't a bad idea, especially where resources are common. I don't want to sit on a conference room chair that's had naked people on it any more than I want to use somebody else's unwashed silverware in the lunchroom.
I do hope this company has bidets installed in the washroom.
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oh, I dunno. I'd think the low hangin' belly would cover all the naughty bits.
Conference room chairs? (Score:2)
Re:Conference room chairs? (Score:5, Funny)
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Then you're a fool. :p
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Besides, you're supposed to bring your own towel.
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I wash my hands numerous times through the day, I don't crap on my hands or fling my turds at other people, I don't eat at my desk, and nobody else uses my keyboard.
So yes... yes, my keyboard is more sanitary than a fabric meeting room chair's seat that has had a bunch of hairy, sweaty asses all over it all day, week in and week out, for months.
I've been in the men's room and unfortunately overheard some of the more... explosive... performances put on by coworkers - I'm sure you can imagine. I don't want t
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On their personal towel rack, of course.
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How about draping it under the crotch with an elastic band around the waist to hold it up?
As a bonus everybody wouldn't have to look at each others' gonads.
If they're naturists (Score:2)
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Depending on the chairs they use (Score:2)
Bare skin on pleather is just no fun. As long as their chairs have either nice fabric coverings, I'm game.
Discrimination? (Score:2)
How does this not fall under a discrimination law, how can you be able to hire based on if a applicant is willing to take off their cloths or not?
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My understanding is that discrimination laws cover race, creed, color, national origin, religion, disability, age etc. in most places which have them. Clothing preference isn't covered, so to speak.
Neither is dietary preference. True story:
Two friends of mine moved to the Washington DC area. She went to work for a Uni. while he, her spouse, looked for work at various advocacy orgs. One org. didn't hire him because "he wasn't a committed enough vegetarian".
So you could make dietary requirements. Though you h
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Heh. For me it was the other way 'round, in one job interview I was asked about my position regarding meat loafs and energy drinks, since the office will smell of BOTH all the time (due to the preferred diet of the other coders) and if I can't stand the smell I should probably not apply.
Needless to say, I loved the job! ;)
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From what I understand they do not. The strippers pay to use the dance area (with a static payment and/or % of tips).
Well done! (Score:2)
I applaud this. Working naked would be so much more comfortable in general. As to those who would think about butt sweat and germs, well, each person can just bring their own towel to sit on, or better yet, bring your own chair. Then sitter beware. ;)
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...and meetings would be a company version of musical chairs, I guess? ;)
Body image... (Score:2)
For anyone worried about how they look naked, stop worrying. Most of the people at nudist colonies are pretty average (well, actually, usually a little older). Go walk around naked in your own house once in a while, and get more comfortable in your own skin. It's a good thing to do from time to time.
Bare metal (Score:2)
Joke? Entire Thing Looks Fake (Score:2, Interesting)
Their site: http://nude-house.com
First off their software is lame. Javascript image maps and they are selling that for $2500 no way anyone would buy that in qty.
Also red flags...
Meta description tag: Nude-House combines real houses filled with naked ladies and the clients wanting to photograph, paint, draw and paint upon them. A bit kike a permanent Naked-Office to bond the workers more."
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As long as... (Score:2)
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He could end up being their best sales tool.....
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Question, if I get a raging boner around a hot, nude female coworker, does that count as sexual harassment?
I make half the requirements.... (Score:2)
Thank you very much (Score:2)
Now I'll never get the image of dozens of naked Jeff Albertsons sitting in cubicles eating cheesey poofs, surfing the web, having holy wars about Perl vs Python vs Ruby etc.
BTW, how will the pizza delivery be handled? You could really give a pizza delivery person a jolt when they walk into the room with the extra super deluxe monster extra everything pizzas....
Keeley Hazell as outside sales rep? (Score:2)
Do the outside sales reps wear their birthday suits on sales calls, too?
If so, I want them to hire Keeley Hazell and assign her to my region....
Let's hope their servers are elsewhere (Score:2)
I can't help thinking how godawful it would be to have to do any maintenance on them.
Nude in England? (Score:2)
Plrease no streeks (Score:2)
But? (Score:2)
It is save to assume the answer is most likely an ubiquitous "Yes!" My wild guess is that the main reason for this would be that such a ridiculous proposition would never ever cross their minds. Brain-cycles will most likely be saved for real problems and issues.
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No, it's provided.
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No. No it does not.
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I hope you were not in uniform when you fried it.
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Cowboyneal, is that you?
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Since fabrics absorb liquids, I'd imagine being nude would actually help against spilled scalding beverages. Don't suppose anyone has done any tests?
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Better than the daily ones from the men.
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yeah, SOUNDS like it. til you go there and you find out that it's just one big sausage party with other guys like you who hoped a little too much.
then you ask yourselves: "where are all the girls?"
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Have you ever been to a nudist colony? It's not as sexy as you may imagine. They're mostly old, retired people. Even if you are a little pudgy, I don't think they'll care.
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The way I see it is, right now I can only show off my skinny coder arms. At this place I could show off some of my body's better assets B-)
Read further (Score:2)
Am I the only one who seemed to have RTFA and noticed that they're hiring women coders only?
Well, since it actually says:
All new applicants will be naturists and could be males or females
It sounds like the author was just trying to make the article more sensational.
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Women are not better at coding.
They aren't worse either. If you work in a place that they have to be better to show they're as good, or one in which they have to be determined in order to stay due to the misogyny, then you work in a backwards place full of cavemen.
In a decent workplace you have women and men of a variety of different skill levels. I know capable female engineers that are just doing it to pay the bills. I know capable male engineers that are biding their time until retirement. I've worked wi
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You just let it all hang out.
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