Hostess To Close; No More Twinkies 674
RenderSeven writes "In a press release issued today, baker Hostess Brands asked a bankruptcy court for permission to close all of its plants and sell off their assets, immediately laying off 18,500 workers. Citing high labor and rising health care costs, increasing competition and growing consumer awareness of healthy foods, Hostess says it can no longer operate without union concessions. A crippling strike has already shut down operations at all facilities, and while the Teamsters Union has ratified a new contract to keep Hostess in business, the Bakers Union has refused saying they would rather see the company closed than accept pension cuts. The Teamsters union is urging the bakers union to hold a secret ballot on whether to continue striking; citing its financial experts who had access to the company's books, the Teamsters say that Hostess' warning of liquidation is 'not an empty threat or a negotiating tactic' but a certain outcome if workers keep striking. If your late-night programming is fueled by Twinkies, Ding Dongs and Zingers, better stock up now."
[Editor's note: A whole bunch of users submitted this news. I worry about our readership's cholesterol levels.]
Zombieland... (Score:5, Funny)
Run on Twinkies? (Score:5, Funny)
Post-apocalypse... (Score:5, Funny)
Twinkies are already pretty valuable in the post apocalyptic world.
Now they're rare too? Who needs gold when you got a twinkie warehouse!
Thanks, Unions (Score:2, Funny)
Good riddens (Score:3, Funny)
While I have some nostalgia over Twinkies, the fact remains the stuff is utter garbage.
Honestly, this stuff makes other junk food like Cheetos and Pop Tarts look healthy in comparison.
Re:Zombieland... (Score:5, Funny)
Poylsorbate 80
America 0
Re:WTF!?!?!? (Score:5, Funny)
They'll eat carrot sticks and like it!
Re:Zombieland... (Score:2, Funny)
Thanks for the insight, Broginator. If that is your real name.
Re:And... (Score:4, Funny)
They also make Airheads candy and Sleeping-With-The-Boss sodas.
Victory! (Score:4, Funny)
Hostess has been a major arms dealer in the war against diabetes in the US. It's great to see them finally fail.
Next up: McDonalds? Dare we dream?
The US gov't should be heavily taxing food this unhealthy or subsidizing food that is healthy. Neither of these is happening, and it's fucking ridiculous.
Re:Post-apocalypse... (Score:4, Funny)
Twinkies are already pretty valuable in the post apocalyptic world. Now they're rare too? Who needs gold when you got a twinkie warehouse!
That was my first thought too. I wonder if they'll sell off the twinkie MFG recipe / process. Be great if they would open source it. As a DIY guy, I've made my own twinkies, but they wouldn't last for 50+ years...
I've found an alternative by accident: I "lost" a half eaten loaf of bread behind the stove. I recovered it a year later. While most breads will mold once exposed to air (or even without being exposed), HEB's store-brand bread did not mold. Not Even Mold will eat this stuff! I know what I'm making my Zombie Slaying Helmet out of...
Re:Run on Twinkies? (Score:5, Funny)
Or bail them out [whitehouse.gov]?
We must bail them out.
They are too tasty to fail.
Re:GO UNIONS! (Score:5, Funny)
...liquidate the company to suck the corpse dry.
...The Baker's Union decided not to cooperate in their own rape. The surprise here is that the Teamsters rolled over and said "you'll like it better if you can't hear me whimpering because I'm facing away from you."
Not a comment on the accuracy or viewpoint of your post, but instead of 'corpse' and 'rape' analogies; wouldn't it be more appropriate to say, "...sucked the creamy cash filling out of the company..." or "...stuffed the unwilling Teamsters with dark chocolaty pudding..."
Re:Zombieland... (Score:5, Funny)
There will always be someone wrong on the internet.
This is an incorrect statement.