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White House Must Answer Petition To 'Build Death Star' 384

EdIII writes "The White House petition to secure funding for building the Death Star has garnered over 25,000 signatures, which means the White House must officially respond. I can't wait to see it. My question to Slashdot readers: what modifications would you add to the proposed Death Star? Obviously, as one journalist put it, 'guardrails around any of the facility's seemingly endless number of bridges, spans, shafts and pits.' What other changes would you ask your representatives to make?"
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White House Must Answer Petition To 'Build Death Star'

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  • by TFAFalcon ( 1839122 ) on Friday December 14, 2012 @07:05PM (#42295757)

    They already fixed that on the Endor variant (they just had a lousy slow contractor building it).

    My vote is that they add an exterminator or two to the crew. I hear the first Death Star had quite a pest problem in it's garbage compactors.

  • by BLToday ( 1777712 ) on Friday December 14, 2012 @07:15PM (#42295953)

    Those X-Wings weren't flying very fast and the targeting couldn't hit them with lasers! Lasers travel at the speed of light and you couldn't hit a target moving less than the speed of light? Definitely gov't contractors that built the targeting system.

    While you're at it, some ID requirement and checkpoints into vital area like the shield and tractor beam controls. Maybe put at guard or an alarm whenever some vital system like the shield is disabled.

    And DirecTV for UFC fights. When your entire company of troops gets distracted by a light saber fight, they're just saying they need better entertainment. A firing range would help the troops relax and maybe just maybe help them hit targets with their laser rifle.

  • It's only a model. (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Hotawa Hawk-eye ( 976755 ) on Friday December 14, 2012 @08:12PM (#42296861)

    My guess is that the White House is going to respond a little bit seriously and call out the Outer Space Treaty [] as a reason why we can't create a Death Star. Or maybe if they respond around Christmas they'll show several LEGO Death Star kits [] they've purchased and donated to charity and call the task completed. [Nothing in the petition asked for a FULL SIZED Death Star, after all.]

  • Re:HALOPERIDOL (Score:2, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday December 14, 2012 @08:35PM (#42297089)

    Why don't you do us all a favor, and put your logic to your own computer.
    200 years ago they were impossible, so that means right now you feel they are impossible. Just get rid of it. Get offline. None of this is real, you said so yourself.

    Oh wait, you're just a hypocrite. How about you also ignore the parent poster, get even more angry, and just have a heart attack and die already. The world would be a better place.

  • by phantomfive ( 622387 ) on Friday December 14, 2012 @11:14PM (#42298291) Journal
    Because most Americans would vote against that. Seriously, only 10% of the country thinks guns should be illegal.
  • by yndrd1984 ( 730475 ) on Saturday December 15, 2012 @01:03AM (#42298901)
    Well, it's a "thermal exhaust port", possibly for plasma. In which case the shaft would have to be magnetized to keep the plasma from contacting the sides. And a "proton torpedo" sounds electrically charged, possibly so that just like like plasma they'll follow magnetic guides. Sort of like they're specifically made to be fired down plasma conduits...

Someday your prints will come. -- Kodak