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Stephen Hawking Has a Message For One Direction Fans 109

An anonymous reader points out that Stephen Hawking recently gave some advice for One Direction fans. What is the cosmological effect of singer Zayn Malik leaving the best-selling boy band One Direction and consequently disappointing millions of teenage girls around the world? The advice of British cosmologist Stephen Hawking to heartbroken fans is to follow theoretical physics, because Malik may well still be a member of the pop group in another universe. The physicist took a break from speaking about his work as one of the world's leading scientists to answer the question from one upset fan during a talk at Sydney Opera House at the weekend. 'Finally a question about something important,' Hawking, who appeared via hologram, said to loud laughs from the audience. 'My advice to any heartbroken young girl is to pay attention to the study of theoretical physics because, one day, there may well be proof of multiple universes. It would not be beyond the realms of possibility that somewhere outside of our own universe lies another, different universe and, in that universe, Zayn is still in One Direction.'"
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Stephen Hawking Has a Message For One Direction Fans

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  • by Anonymous Coward

    What I want is a universe where George W. is still president of the free world. Fool me once, shame on somebody...

    • by ravenshrike ( 808508 ) on Monday April 27, 2015 @09:10AM (#49559831)

      Sooo, you want a universe where Washington got access to the Fountain of Youth and people keep voting him into the presidency against his will?

    • What I want is a universe where George W. is still president of the free world. Fool me once, shame on somebody...

      There could even be a universe where GW is this awesome leader that everyone looks up to and admires, "Ace" Rimmer [wikipedia.org] style!

    • I want a universe where Hawaii has legalized pot, which would mean being able to build the Thirty Meter telescope with no opposition.

    • by gl4ss ( 559668 )

      what he neglected to say is that in an measurably equal amount of alternate universes One Direction never existed.

      stupid message, the fans can never observe that alternate universe in any way. wonder why he made it. probably some journalist just clickbaiting. equivalent of saying to them that one direction still exists in happy place heaven(tm).

  • by Shoten ( 260439 ) on Monday April 27, 2015 @09:03AM (#49559765)

    I'm not sure if I think it's incredibly disheartening that Stephen Hawking had been following that whole situation, or that I think it's incredibly cool that he's that in touch with kids. Hm.

    Can it be both?

    • by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 27, 2015 @09:14AM (#49559855)

      There may be a universe where it can be both....

    • It's stupid. (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward

      The "multi universe" hypothesis is religion for physicists.

      The evidence just isn't there. The models that predict it are a bit dubious and there are some solid scientific challenges to them.

      Believing that things went the way you wanted them to go, in "some other universe," is cold comfort at best, and at worst it is every bit as nonsensical as believing that your departed loved ones are somehow still alive in some higher plane, or somehow came back as another person.

      Until solid evidence of parallel realiti

      • by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 27, 2015 @12:12PM (#49561765)

        "The evidence just isn't there."

        You're wrong; it just isn't HERE. The evidence is all in some other universe...

      • Re:It's stupid. (Score:5, Interesting)

        by rubycodez ( 864176 ) on Monday April 27, 2015 @03:05PM (#49563583)

        Some would say the fact of quantum mechanical effects such as the split beam interference experiment suggest such a mutiverse does exist. And quite credible scientists are debating it.

      • by Anonymous Coward

        I take comfort in believing that there is a parallel universe out there where this evidence has already been found.

    • I think it's just an easy way to add some science to the lives of those who might not otherwise care.

      There's a lot of advanced physics for which we currently lack practical applications or even a good way of relating what's being done to the public. If this sparks an interest in a few dozen kids I'd say it's a good thing.
      • by gl4ss ( 559668 )

        but it's not meaningful science. there's no good way of relating to public, it just lets them believe there's some other world that super genius scientists(tm) can look into (or something). if there's an infinite number of alternatives then.. well, so what? in that another universe the fan might not be a fan of one direction in the first place. but more importantly there is no possible meaningful exchange of information or observing of the alternate universe. it's basically just something made up.

        it's just

    • It can be both. It's called Schroedinger's Hawking.

      • I don't know why, but I read that as "Hawking's Schroedinger" and immediately a very bad visual jumped into my head.
    • by pubwvj ( 1045960 )

      You assume he has been following the situation. Just as likely he simply was able to grasp the situation form the small amount of data provided and present a good humored response on the fly. Intelligence can often make up for a lack of fine data.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 27, 2015 @09:05AM (#49559789)

    the AI which hacked hawking's system and is using him as a puppet has developed a sense of humor.

    we're doomed, and it will be hilarious.

    • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

      by FreeUser ( 11483 )

      the AI which hacked hawking's system and is using him as a puppet has developed a sense of humor.

      we're doomed, and it will be hilarious.

      AWKWARD!

  • This is stupid (Score:4, Insightful)

    by BarbaraHudson ( 3785311 ) <barbara DOT jane ... T icloud DOT com> on Monday April 27, 2015 @09:12AM (#49559845) Journal

    This is really stupid. What next - don't mourn the passing of your child - in another universe they might be alive? Fat lot of good that does for anyone here - after all, neither their nor their child's doppelganger in another universe would be an exact replica.

    But I'll look at the bright side - in another universe crap like this wouldn't make it to slashdot's front page.

    • Re:This is stupid (Score:4, Interesting)

      by RavenLrD20k ( 311488 ) on Monday April 27, 2015 @09:22AM (#49559933) Journal

      What next - don't mourn the passing of your child - in another universe they might be alive? Fat lot of good that does for anyone here - after all, neither their nor their child's doppelganger in another universe would be an exact replica.

      Wasn't that the core plot to Fringe [wikipedia.org]? That the entire series wouldn't have existed if a crackpot physicist didn't muck up the balance of things by stealing a different version of his kid from a universe where he didn't die, thus starting an interuniversal war?

      On a different note: Is there any character that John Noble has played that wasn't some kind of Crackpot? If not, what does that say for the psyche of Mr. Noble himself?

      • The kid in the parallel universe was still dying, it's just that his character had worked out how to save him whereas the father in the parallel universe had been distracted just as he was about to hit on the solution.

        I don't think playing eccentric characters says anything about the psyche of John Noble, probably more to do with casting agents etc. who need to fill the role of a crackpot.

      • by JWW ( 79176 )

        I'm sure there's a universe out there where John Noble doesn't get constantly cast as a crackpot.

    • But I'll look at the bright side - in another universe crap like this wouldn't make it to slashdot's front page.

      Bah, in another universe Slashdot is always the "OMG Ponies" theme, and carries nothing but stories on Kim Kardashian.

      My guess is Hawking took a goofy question from the audience and used it to tie in some theory stuff, because clearly someone asked him if he said "Finally a question about something important".

      If Stephen Hawking can't make such a joke, who the hell can?

      • by Anonymous Coward

        But I'll look at the bright side - in another universe crap like this wouldn't make it to slashdot's front page.

        Bah, in another universe Slashdot is always the "OMG Ponies" theme, and carries nothing but stories on Kim Kardashian.

        That's not another universe, that's the near future you were looking at.

        All nerds instantly will instantly declare a boycott, but oddly readership will stay exactly the same.

    • Re:This is stupid (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Jaime2 ( 824950 ) on Monday April 27, 2015 @10:42AM (#49560787)
      It's worse than that. If you accept that there is a parallel universe where One Direction didn't break up and decide it matters to you, then you also have to accept that there is a parallel universe where the most heinous thing you can imaging has happened to you. Since you decided to be emotionally invested in what happens in other universes, that should affect you the same way. If not, then the parallel universe thing wasn't science, it was denial.
    • and in some universe, there is no /. -- which means my goateed-self would actually have to put in a full 8 hours at work... {shudder}
    • by godrik ( 1287354 )

      No it is great. In an era where we find it so difficult to get young people interested in the science, I think his comment is briliant. It is the perfect example of what many people should do, try to capture the interest of people using whatever reasonnable communication channel.

    • by Livius ( 318358 )

      This is really stupid.

      Bear in mind that the message is targeting One Direction fans.

  • I took my niece to a One Direction concert, Arizona Cardinals Stadium, sold out. If we ever wanted to make an Islamic terrorist talk, use a One Direction concert as torture. A bunch of teenagers dressed provocatively trying to marry a band member. It would drive them nuts, as it did me.
    • A bunch of teenagers dressed provocatively trying to marry a band member.
      It would drive them nuts, as it did me.

      Have you not been paying attention to the rock and roll scene since before the Beatles played Shea?

    • A bunch of teenagers dressed provocatively trying to marry a band member. It would drive them nuts, as it did me.

      Because they didn't want to marry you instead?

  • It's said the only atomic particles exhibit the wave/partial duality answer large objects like people not so much. But what if you aggregate all of positions of ones self across all universes. If a person is sitting in a chair in his bedroom in pn universe would he be sitting in the exact same chair in the same way in all others? Perhaps in some you are an inch to the left, in others across the room. And still ib other across town. Like an electron you exact position is not certain across all universes.
  • I'm sorry, Zyan. [codewelt.com] It's a bummer. In this reality, you're as dumb as they come. But we're gonna go on even more adventures, Zee. And you're gonna keep your mouth shut about it, Zee! Because the world is full of idiots that don't understand what's important, and they'll tear us apart, Zee! But if you stick with me, I'm gonna accomplish great things, Zyan, and you're gonna be part of 'em. And together we're gonna run around, Zee, we're gonna- (uurp) do all of kinds of wonderful things, Zyan. Just you and me, Zy
  • by RogueWarrior65 ( 678876 ) on Monday April 27, 2015 @09:34AM (#49560071)

    Subscribers to the Many Worlds Theory would also argue that in some of them...wait for it...One Direction never existed...*GASP*

  • that somewhere outside of our own universe lies another, different universe and, in that universe, Zayn is still in One Direction

    That's a great deal of use if you're stuck in this one, which I think pretty much follows from what a universe is.

  • Someone warn Stephen!

  • by Anonymous Coward

    In another universe.

  • I was wondering when Hawking would finally weigh in on this subject.

    • I think he's jockeying for a position in the band. It's no secret that the only thing keeping him from abandoning science is the fact that he can't meet the choreographic requirements of membership in a boy-band.
  • Hawking, who appeared via hologram,

    Wait, what?

  • Stephen Hawking is amazing! I think he should have a TV special sometime just to work science in with Celebrity Gossip in a humourous way. Informative, and mix of mindless stuff with theoretical physics!
  • I'm assuming that this article was from April 1 and Slashdot is jus posting it now?

  • by sudon't ( 580652 ) on Monday April 27, 2015 @11:33AM (#49561303)

    Why am I always in the universe where things aren't going right?

    • Comment removed based on user account deletion
    • Why am I always in the universe where things aren't going right?

      You think things aren't going right in YOUR universe... you should see the other one. At least you don't have to deal with invisible flying elephants.

  • One Direction

    I thought he was talking about entropy :-/

    • One Direction

      I thought he was talking about entropy :-/

      Just think... in some universe, Hawking might be the lead vocalist in One Direction....

  • I think the really important thing to take away is that in some universe, all /.ers are married to perfect 10 wealthy supermodels who think geeks are the coolest thing ever, and also happen to own beer breweries.
    • I think the really important thing to take away is that in some universe, all /.ers are married to perfect 10 wealthy supermodels who think geeks are the coolest thing ever, and also happen to own beer breweries.

      In that universe, you wouldn't be you.

  • I knew physics had to be good for something...
  • I prefer to think of the alternate universes in which boy bands actually make good music, like the Beach Boys or The Association. (Given that an alternate universe has humans in general and teenage girls in particular, I accept the existence of boy bands as a given.)

Understanding is always the understanding of a smaller problem in relation to a bigger problem. -- P.D. Ouspensky

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