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Indicted Ex-FIFA Executive Cites Onion Article In Rant Slamming US 194

schwit1 writes with news that former FIFA Vice President Jack Warner has evidently not heard of The Onion. In a video on his Facebook page, Warner holds up a printout of an Onion story titled “FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States” and says: “Then I look to see that Fifa has frantically announced, 2015, this year [...] the World Cup, beginning May 27. If FIFA is so bad, why is it that the USA wants to keep the Fifa World Cup?” The next World Cup is not due to be held until 2018 and there have been no games in the U.S.. Warner is facing extradition to the U.S. on corruption charges. Time further reports: Even Sunday wasn't easy, when Warner needed two attempts to get his message across by telling followers that the latest accusations against him stem largely from the U.S. being upset that it did not win the rights to host the 2022 World Cup — which went to Qatar. In an eight-minute Facebook video, which was quickly deleted after numerous news reports picked up on the gaffe, Warner held up a printout of a fictitious story from The Onion bearing the headline: "FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States." The fake story was published on Wednesday, hours after Warner was indicted in the U.S. and arrested and briefly jailed in Trinidad. Warner asked why the story was "two days before the FIFA election" when Sepp Blatter was re-elected as president.
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Indicted Ex-FIFA Executive Cites Onion Article In Rant Slamming US

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  • by Anonymous Coward

    I wonder if The Onion had ever published a story about real life people or new organizations referring to Onion stories as if they were true?

    • This 'onion' issue is but a side-show of the indictment of FIFA officers by the Obama Administration

      While everyone knows that FIFA is corrupt, we must also acknowledge the fact that the indictments from US is a kind of a long-stretch, for all I know FIFA does not belong to USA alone

      • by Adriax ( 746043 ) on Tuesday June 02, 2015 @12:37AM (#49820115)

        They claim evidence that the corruption was carried out on US soil using US banks. That's better reasoning to me than "Fifa is multinational and under no one's jurisdiction" as they will claim.

        But frankly the fact the US isn't completely obsessed with the sport like some other nations will go a long way to keep things impartial.
        If fifa threatens to ban the US from world cup consideration you can expect a very heartfelt "oh darn" as a response and the investigation will continue.

        • by luis_a_espinal ( 1810296 ) on Tuesday June 02, 2015 @07:34AM (#49821171)

          They claim evidence that the corruption was carried out on US soil using US banks. That's better reasoning to me than "Fifa is multinational and under no one's jurisdiction" as they will claim.

          But frankly the fact the US isn't completely obsessed with the sport like some other nations will go a long way to keep things impartial. If fifa threatens to ban the US from world cup consideration you can expect a very heartfelt "oh darn" as a response and the investigation will continue.

          By the FCPA, they wouldn't even need to claim that the corruption took place on US soils and/or using US banks. All it takes is either a US national or legal resident, or US company or US-based subsidiary of a foreign company (Traffic Sports USA) to engage in bribery of foreign officials, or be bribed by foreign officials. Bribery and being bribed by foreign officials is the hallmark of FIFA, and that organization pretty much screwed itself up the moment it established links with US companies.

          The US is not alone in this. Many developed countries have similar provisions with a global scope (fraud/bribery of this type committed anywhere). A lot more have similar provisions only on a local scope (only those committed locally.)

          This FIFA thing is a good thing, but unfortunately the penny arcade crowd is going to tear it down in their endless, nihilistic pursuit for yet another reason to be upset or whatever.

          • They claim evidence that the corruption was carried out on US soil using US banks. That's better reasoning to me than "Fifa is multinational and under no one's jurisdiction" as they will claim.

            But frankly the fact the US isn't completely obsessed with the sport like some other nations will go a long way to keep things impartial. If fifa threatens to ban the US from world cup consideration you can expect a very heartfelt "oh darn" as a response and the investigation will continue.

            By the FCPA, they wouldn't even need to claim that the corruption took place on US soils and/or using US banks. All it takes is either a US national or legal resident, or US company or US-based subsidiary of a foreign company (Traffic Sports USA) to engage in bribery of foreign officials, or be bribed by foreign officials. Bribery and being bribed by foreign officials is the hallmark of FIFA, and that organization pretty much screwed itself up the moment it established links with US companies.

            So this is all about the US getting the 1994 World Cup through bribery?

            • They claim evidence that the corruption was carried out on US soil using US banks. That's better reasoning to me than "Fifa is multinational and under no one's jurisdiction" as they will claim.

              But frankly the fact the US isn't completely obsessed with the sport like some other nations will go a long way to keep things impartial. If fifa threatens to ban the US from world cup consideration you can expect a very heartfelt "oh darn" as a response and the investigation will continue.

              By the FCPA, they wouldn't even need to claim that the corruption took place on US soils and/or using US banks. All it takes is either a US national or legal resident, or US company or US-based subsidiary of a foreign company (Traffic Sports USA) to engage in bribery of foreign officials, or be bribed by foreign officials. Bribery and being bribed by foreign officials is the hallmark of FIFA, and that organization pretty much screwed itself up the moment it established links with US companies.

              So this is all about the US getting the 1994 World Cup through bribery?

              I'll answer in the affirmative to satisfy your supposition.

          • in their endless, nihilistic pursuit for yet another reason to be upset or whatever.

            Adequate description of 90% of the internet.

        • by lq_x_pl ( 822011 )
          and don't forget: nearly everything else the DOJ is dealing with is positively radioactive.
          This is a 'safe' incident over which the DOJ can swing for the bleachers.
      • Of course it has jurisdiction if the crime is committed on US territory or using US assets. If, if you electronically rob a bank in the US then you fall under the jurisdiction. Of course if you do that at the direction of another country and refuses to extradite you then you can get away with it.

        This FIFA issue isn't about cheating at sports, but about money fraud, bribery, etc. And FIFA is not being charged with any crime, but some of the officers and employees of FIFA. Belonging to a rich club does no

      • by luis_a_espinal ( 1810296 ) on Tuesday June 02, 2015 @07:25AM (#49821127)

        This 'onion' issue is but a side-show of the indictment of FIFA officers by the Obama Administration

        While everyone knows that FIFA is corrupt, we must also acknowledge the fact that the indictments from US is a kind of a long-stretch, for all I know FIFA does not belong to USA alone

        The Foreign Corrupt Practices Act of 1977 (FCPA) allows the US to prosecute anyone, anywhere, irregardless of citizenship for specific forms of fraud so long as said person has caused US companies or US-based offices of foreign companies to commit said type of frauds or has used the US banking system to commit said type of frauds. Traffic Sports USA is a company being investigated for that that type of fraud, and so many other businesses tied to either FIFA or CONCACAF.

        Now, when I say specific forms of fraud, the law strictly refers to fraud intended to manipulate of foreign politicians or foreign state agencies or to partake in exchange of benefits or gifts with a foreign politician or foreign state agency or representative. The nomination of Qatar for the next World Cup (as a result of a payment under the table to secure those right) falls into that category.

        If there were no nationals (or national or US-based business entities) involved at all, then FCPA wouldn't apply at all, and there wouldn't be any news to blather and bloviate about.

      • The US interest in the FIFA affair is not because of any concern with the healthy development of soccer, but because we get to make an example of a wealthy foreign twirly-mustache organization for the crime of depositing cash in American banks. While our liberals call it "imperialism" when we bomb ISIS to save minority populations from genocide, bullying foreign banks into adopting our insanely complex regulations against dealing in cash is just fine with them.

        • Swiss Leaks: Murky Cash Sheltered by Bank Secrecy [icij.org]

          HSBC Private Bank (Suisse) continued to offer services to clients who had been unfavorably named by the United Nations, in court documents and in the media as connected to arms trafficking, blood diamonds and bribery.

          HSBC served those close to discredited regimes such as that of former Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak, former Tunisian president Ben Ali and current Syrian ruler Bashar al-Assad.

          Clients who held HSBC bank accounts in Switzerland in

          • Bribery, tax evasion, trafficking and drug dealing are crimes in their own right, and are just as much crimes in other countries as in the US. A prosecutor should be able to marshal evidence against a perpetrator of any of these without resorting to made-up economic crimes like depositing cash into banks. But Congress decided to criminalize banking as a power play to establish the jurisdiction of US law in places where it doesn't belong - you know, imperialism.

      • by Xest ( 935314 )

        So are you saying that corrupt Mafia-esque organisations should be free to commit crime on American soil with American money providing they don't actually live in America or leave the country afterwards then or what?

        You should be proud that America is the only country that's found the balls to say enough is enough and put an end to Sepp's mafia rather than trying to make it all party politicial and pretending Obama has somehow been bad again. This is a good thing all around, there is nothing bad about what

    • by TWX ( 665546 )
      I doubt it. The Onion reacts to actual news. It doesn't specifically try to make the news, nor has it ever been particularly self-referential through other reporting. Frankly it doesn't need to, there's enough to parody that navel-gazing would be a hindrance.
    • Re:meta onion (Score:4, Informative)

      by myid ( 3783581 ) on Tuesday June 02, 2015 @02:22AM (#49820341)

      I wonder if The Onion had ever published a story about real life people or new organizations referring to Onion stories as if they were true?

      abcnews has such an article [go.com]. The article includes lots of good links, including a link to the Onion FIFA article [theonion.com].

    • Not from The Onion, but there's Literally Unbelievable [literallyu...evable.org]. It's a bit more focused, though, posting funny examples of people on Facebook mistaking Onion articles for real news.

    • by aitikin ( 909209 )
      http://literallyunbelievable.o... [literallyu...evable.org]

      Not officially The Onion, but all about it.
  • Come on! (Score:5, Insightful)

    by aralin ( 107264 ) on Monday June 01, 2015 @11:44PM (#49819941)

    We all saw this "news" on Sunday in Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. And you got to all this length of stealing the bit and posting it on slashdot just to miss the punchline? Well, for those who have not seen it here it goes:

    "Only a FIFA official could be corrupt enough to think the Onion article is not a joke, but something that could actually happen."

    • Yeah, that was probably better left off, sorry.
  • by bloodhawk ( 813939 ) on Tuesday June 02, 2015 @12:41AM (#49820123)

    Is that a US style "world" cup? so that would include a few US states right?

    • Is that a US style "world" cup? so that would include a few US states right?

      Not true! We'll probably allow one or two Canadian cities to play along, to give the World Cup(tm American Soccar League) "that international" feel.

  • Jack Warner was apparently kicked out of office back in 2011, because of corruption. He started his career as a schoolteacher, then later became president of FIFA, I have no idea how.
  • Journalism (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Livius ( 318358 ) on Tuesday June 02, 2015 @02:51AM (#49820405)

    The Onion may be satirical, but it's fact-checking is about as good as mainstream 'journalists'.

  • but isn't the inability to reckognise blatant sarcasm an indcation of some sort of psychopathy? (schizophrenia?)

    • by cdrudge ( 68377 )

      There's been some recent studies that have suggested a link between the inability to detect sarcasm and dementia. Those with disorders that appear somewhere on the autism spectrum also can have difficulties detecting sarcasm, especially in written works or when there are no physical cues to imply sarcasm (a smile, wink, etc).

      In Jack Warner's case, I don't think dementia or an ASD is the issue. I think it's just that he's corrupt as hell and grasping for anything at all. He just grabbed a concrete cinder b

      • by gTsiros ( 205624 )

        yeah you're right i confused it with what sapolsky said in one lecture about schizophrenia, where a person with this condition can not recognize underlying meanings or colloquial speech (eg "raining cats and dogs" to a schizophrenic is exactly what it says on the label.)

  • What's that supposed to mean? That the 1994 World Cup wasn't held in the US?
  • So, I heard this story on the radio at 5:45 PM CDT yesterday. Slashdot, you were scooped by NPR. (On bot this story and the one on US Airport Screeners).

  • Jack Warner's job was actaully organizing the World Cups on the ground. For him it is not a joke. Like, as there is a saying in a military: "Who served in the army does not laugh in a circus."

"The vast majority of successful major crimes against property are perpetrated by individuals abusing positions of trust." -- Lawrence Dalzell

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