yet-another-lobbyist writes to mention that Facebook addiction has finally caused real world consequences, at least for one would-be burglar. It seems that 19-year-old Jonathan Parker couldn't stay away from the popular social networking site, even long enough to rob a house. Parker not only stopped mid-robbery to check his Facebook status on the victim's computer, but left it logged in to his account when he left.
In one of our offices, failure to lock your screen means you'll send an email proposing your sexual favours to a bunch of same sex colleagues for a modicum of money.
Second offender in the same day makes the same offer, but to both sexes, and for a lower amount.
This taught basic security to all newcomers.
It is lucky that : - Most of us got caught, and pass on the joke - we all have a sense of humor - we are not in the US 8p
At a previous job, we fired a cleaning crew because they logged into our computers to check their email while we were out.
We called to tell them why they weren't getting paid or allowed to come back, and the boss said, "they might have pressed some buttons when they were dusting."
We said, "the login we have here is 'john.smith123@hotmail.com'; the odds of that being pressed sequentially are 2.7^15 to 1 against."
Why didn't you just lock your screen when you left for the day?
by Anonymous Coward
on Friday September 18, @03:47PM (#29471315)
I'd further that by saying most criminals who are caught (and yes, this is most of them) do not rise to the top of the intelligence pool. Who knows how many ultra-smart uncaught criminals are still out there though...
Facebook could REALLY improve their traffic levels if every 24 hours they autochanged statuses to "is sucking a cock" unless the user logged in before the time-out......
Burglary charges tend to be more severe when they involve a night-time break-in since it's more likely that the homeowners are going to be at home (possibly asleep) then.
Part of me has to wonder if someone else might have logged into the facebook account and left it for the victim to find, to implicate this other fellow?
Granted, there's probably more evidence to tie this guy to the burglary, but, I dunno, this seems *too* convenient.
Don't underestimate the stupidity of your average criminal. My dad is a lawyer who has defended some really dumb criminals. I remember him telling me one time about a client who got busted for robbing a jewelry store. Apparently on his way to commit the crime he was pulled over for speeding. As luck would have it, he brought the ticket into the store with him and accidentally left it on the counter. Needless to say, it didn't take very long for the police to find him
Back when I handled criminals, I had some *real* dumb ones, but my favorite robbed a friend's credit union.
When the police found him, he leaped up to tell them that the money in one pocket was his; that theirs was on the other. And when they brought the teller out to ID him, *he* IDed *her* instead!
I doubt the police would go for a prosecution just based on a facebook login. It will give them a prime suspect though - which will turn up other evidence, as in this case.
I have a few friends who are detectives in two local jurisdictions, one being the lapd. After learning of some interrogation tactics only a seasoned criminal really has a chance, well them and those who are smart enough to request a lawyer immediately. I fully see the following scenario.
cop: So mr iamsosexyinthewv you do realize your mafia wars experience points will be subtracted once this goes to court right !? perp: What do you mean they will be subtracted when i go to court. cop: well if you weren't on t
Most burglars are no professionals. They are just looking for easily-grabbed items that they can fit into their pockets. Any cash laying around, jewelry, mp3 players or other electronic devices, stuff like that. Carrying a computer down the street would be too obvious.
Likewise, people like this are usually crimes of opportunity. Little to no planning would have been involved - this guy is obviously no professional.
It's actually sorta in the middle, between "backslash" and "shift". Pounding on the "return" probably isn't a good idea, though, cause you might break the keyboard.
"Jonathan G. Parker, 19, of Fort Loudoun, Pa., was arraigned Tuesday one count of felony daytime burglary."
Is there a felony nighttime burglary? How about after nap burglary?
Unfortunately he will likely still get a chance to contribute to the decline of the the gene pool when he gets out of jail so he is, again unfortunately, ineligible for a Darwin Award. This time.
This is an extreme example supporting my long standing belief that only stupid criminals get caught, the smart ones end up running mega-corps like M$.
"You have been poked by the Police" (Score:5, Funny)
Re: (Score:3)
He was framed!
Re:"You have been poked by the Police" (Score:4, Funny)
he was iFramed
stupidity (Score:5, Funny)
Always when I think I've seen the most stupidity ever, there comes a next sucker and tops it.
Next on news, casino robbers twitter about the process using @heist tag while executing their plan.
Re:stupidity (Score:4, Insightful)
Sweet place you work at, where anyone can come along and log into your computers and get online.
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:stupidity (Score:5, Funny)
In one of our offices, failure to lock your screen means you'll send an email proposing your sexual favours to a bunch of same sex colleagues for a modicum of money.
Second offender in the same day makes the same offer, but to both sexes, and for a lower amount.
This taught basic security to all newcomers.
It is lucky that :
- Most of us got caught, and pass on the joke
- we all have a sense of humor
- we are not in the US 8p
Re:stupidity (Score:4, Informative)
Here in the US the email offers to buy free beers at a local bar after work.
Re:stupidity (Score:4, Funny)
I used to screen shot the desktop, set it as wallpaper then drag all the icons off screen.
Re:stupidity (Score:4, Insightful)
At a previous job, we fired a cleaning crew because they logged into our computers to check their email while we were out.
We called to tell them why they weren't getting paid or allowed to come back, and the boss said, "they might have pressed some buttons when they were dusting."
We said, "the login we have here is 'john.smith123@hotmail.com'; the odds of that being pressed sequentially are 2.7^15 to 1 against."
Why didn't you just lock your screen when you left for the day?
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Re:stupidity (Score:5, Funny)
are 2.7^15 to 1 against
Coincidentally, 2 954 312.71 is the phone number of the Islington Flat where a cleaning crew supervisor learned that he had lost a contract.
Re:stupidity (Score:4, Insightful)
Did he update his status? (Score:5, Funny)
I can just imagine it...
Status: Robbing a house at 319 Elm St. ROTFL!
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Yes. You're correct. They should have said he was checking his friends' statuses and/or checking for comments.
Re:Did he update his status? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Did he update his status? (Score:5, Funny)
Your mom wouldn't have to log in as often.
Re:Did he update his status? (Score:5, Funny)
either, but it might be like
checking Slashdot to see
if anyone replied to your
comments.
comment entry field yet.
Re:Did he update his status? (Score:5, Funny)
I don't have an account
either, but it might be like
checking Slashdot to see
if anyone replied to your
comments. ...or if they've fixed the idle
comment entry field yet.
That was like the worst poem ever.
Re:Did he update his status? (Score:4, Funny)
I don't have an account
either, but it might be like
checking Slashdot to see
if anyone replied to your
comments. ...or if they've fixed the idle
comment entry field yet.
That was like the worst poem ever.
Burma-Shave.
Re:Did he update his status? (Score:5, Funny)
Burmashave!
Re:"You have been poked by the Police" (Score:5, Funny)
So, will his status for the next 3-5 years be updated to:
JOHN PARKER is serving a sentence in the State Penn.
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
Burglary charges tend to be more severe when they involve a night-time break-in since it's more likely that the homeowners are going to be at home (possibly asleep) then.
Re:"You have been poked by the Police" (Score:5, Funny)
Well, thankfully you broke the curse. None of us are laughing at what you wrote.
Frame job? (Score:5, Interesting)
Part of me has to wonder if someone else might have logged into the facebook account and left it for the victim to find, to implicate this other fellow?
Granted, there's probably more evidence to tie this guy to the burglary, but, I dunno, this seems *too* convenient.
Re:Frame job? (Score:4, Funny)
You've got to remember where this happened - Martinsburg, WV... where they old saw goes:
How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
Because anywhere else it would have bene called a teethbrush.
A newer spin... (Score:5, Funny)
Why is there no CSI Hillsboro? There are no dental records and everybody has the same DNA.....
Re:Frame job? (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Frame job? (Score:5, Funny)
Back when I handled criminals, I had some *real* dumb ones, but my favorite robbed a friend's credit union.
When the police found him, he leaped up to tell them that the money in one pocket was his; that theirs was on the other. And when they brought the teller out to ID him, *he* IDed *her* instead!
Yes, criminals really are this dumb.
hawk, esq
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
In that case, you plea bargain while the DA is laughing his *** off. :)
hawk
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
I doubt the police would go for a prosecution just based on a facebook login. It will give them a prime suspect though - which will turn up other evidence, as in this case.
Re:Frame job? (Score:5, Informative)
Granted, there's probably more evidence to tie this guy to the burglary
Yeah... like the fact that he asked a friend if they'd want to help rob the house.....
He also said that the night before the burglary, Parker asked him if he wanted to help break into the victim's home but he refused.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
I have a few friends who are detectives in two local jurisdictions, one being the lapd. After learning of some interrogation tactics only a seasoned criminal really has a chance, well them and those who are smart enough to request a lawyer immediately. I fully see the following scenario.
cop: So mr iamsosexyinthewv you do realize your mafia wars experience points will be subtracted once this goes to court right !?
perp: What do you mean they will be subtracted when i go to court.
cop: well if you weren't on t
Jonathan Parker (Score:3, Funny)
Facebook Status: (Score:4, Funny)
updated 2:57 PM today
Facebook addiction (Score:5, Interesting)
I don't think anyone predicted that the internet would give us infinite narcissism.
Predictions (Score:5, Interesting)
I don't think anyone predicted that the internet would give us infinite narcissism.
For anyone who read Usenet back in the 90's, this was not a prediction - it was a certainty.
Further evidence... (Score:5, Funny)
What I want to know is ... (Score:4, Insightful)
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Probably a tower case.
Most burglars are no professionals. They are just looking for easily-grabbed items that they can fit into their pockets. Any cash laying around, jewelry, mp3 players or other electronic devices, stuff like that. Carrying a computer down the street would be too obvious.
Likewise, people like this are usually crimes of opportunity. Little to no planning would have been involved - this guy is obviously no professional.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
It's actually sorta in the middle, between "backslash" and "shift". Pounding on the "return" probably isn't a good idea, though, cause you might break the keyboard.
Protip for criminals (Score:4, Funny)
Dumbass.
Full of LOL (Score:3, Funny)
http://www.myspace.com/parkersworld16 [myspace.com]
And a choice quote from one of his friends:
...Aubrey wants you to join their mob in Mobsters, a Mafia-style combat game played on MySpace.
Start out as a petty thief and work your way up to become a Mob Don!
Daytime bulgrary? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:This proves the old adage... (Score:5, Insightful)
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
SOME criminals are stupid... obviously, you never hear about the smart ones.
Sure you do, they are called congressmen and senators.
Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11? (Score:5, Interesting)
Stupid criminals leave their Facebook accounts logged in on your computer. Smart ones steal all the passwords that are stored in your browser.
Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11? (Score:5, Funny)
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
This is an extreme example supporting my long standing belief that only stupid criminals get caught, the smart ones end up running mega-corps like M$.