AMD Offers Women Geek Dating Advice 269
Blacklaw writes "It appears AMD has decided to branch out from integrated circuits and enter the romance market with a handy guide for girls to land themselves a geeky guy. From the article: 'In a blog post written by Leslie Sobon, the company's vice president of marketing, Sobon describes her life in the largely male-dominated world of technology as being "mostly surrounded by guys all day," but says: "I can tell you that — in general — technical guys are pretty cool," and offers advice on how girls can land a geek guy. Although clearly meant in a lighthearted way, Sobon's missive serves to patronize both her company's customers — who, we learn, are socially inept and bad dressers — and women, who apparently can't understand technology and need to find a nice man who can "fix the TV, your PC, and the sprinkler system" along with other magical item s far too complex for the poor female brain to comprehend.'"
It's funny - laugh (Score:5, Insightful)
Dear everyone,
Please stop taking every so damned seriously.
Thank you,
Byron
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Exactly. I read it and was wondering when the funny was supposed to start. The outrage of this shouldn't be over any feminist issues the outrage should be over this person being terminally unfunny.
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Are marketing people usually known for being funny? Inspired and genuinely humorous marketing material seems to be rather rare.
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Do you really wear khaki pants when you go out? I can see doing that for fancy-pants restaurants, but anything else, I don't really see the point. I have a circle of non-geek friends, and nobody wears "pants".
Then again, this is San Francisco, where everybody wears designer jeans.
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Or a Carlos Mencia standup act.
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No, not at all. In fact there is quite a spectrum in between your false dichotomy.
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We make stereotyped jokes about rednecks and users and outsourced tech support and whatever the enemy du jour is of the day. It's ok to laugh at ourselves, and realize that people are making the same jokes about geeks that we are about everyone else.
Nouns! (Score:5, Funny)
I know. I accidentally the whole thing, and yet I can still it lightheartedly.
Re:It's funny - laugh (Score:5, Funny)
Seriously. I wanted to be offended when I read her list of questions girls can ask geeky guys. But then I realized I had had conversations at work regarding all three within just the past week.
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Yup. Truth is an absolute defense against a libel suit. She's pretty safe.
But just to pick nits... most geeks don't wear pants? So they walk around with their dangly bits hanging out? Maybe her coworkers are just perverts.... Did she ever think about that possibility? I don't know anybody who goes around wearing "nice pants" if that's what she means... at least not outside of marketing people. Wearing jeans puts you into the "normal" category. And although many geeks do spend every day in T-shirts,
Re:It's funny - laugh (Score:4, Insightful)
Did you realize you were being hit upon?
One thing I have to add is that one should never ask a question you don't understand. We know when you're bullshitting and we hate it. Geeks like explaining things. Being genuinely interested but ignorant makes for much better conversation than trying to fake it.
Here's another tip. Out geek the geek. If you're in the printing department, for instance, you may know all sorts of technical details about various processes that an IT geek wouldn't know. We eat that shit up.
Re:It's funny - laugh (Score:4, Insightful)
Some girls are into geek guys, even if they aren't into the business themselves.
I once had this customer, an absolute babe, bring her virused out Dell into my shop. The decision was for a plain re-install (she had all her stuff backed up, smart girl). Installing XP is not a hard task, but to someone who's never done it, it's like going down the rabbit hole. She was fascinated by the process. Simple little things like blowing the dust out of the machine, changing the boot order, partitioning the drive, she was totally into it. She wanted me to explain everything, and I did, if for no other reason than to appreciate her beauty a little longer (my bad). Maybe she'd missed her calling in life.
As the install got underway, I told her the usual thing I do on a Saturday when a machine is doing an automated install and I have no other work: go to the pub down the street and have a couple of pints, watch the football, come back, queue up the updates and then go home. She suggested that she could come along to the pub, too.
Okay. I'm living every geek's dream here, for real. A hot, young babe is impressed by my skillz and wants to go on a date.
I blurted out that I wasn't sure what my wife might think of that. She was embarrassed. I felt like a jerk. :( She never knew because I wear my ring on a chain around my neck so it doesn't get scuffed up.
As funny as the article is, geeks face the same lessons in love as everyone else.
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I wonder, does she have a little geek in her?
If not, would she like to?
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"fix the TV, your PC, and the sprinkler system" along with other magical items far too complex for the poor female brain to comprehend.'
In other news, Apple is suing AMD for calling devices other than the iPad magical.
She tries too hard (Score:5, Insightful)
Seriously, if a nice girl's just willing to strike up a conversation with us, she's already miles ahead in my book without having to learn how to parrot stupid lines about x86 vs. ARM.
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Re:She tries too hard (Score:5, Funny)
All a woman needs to do to land a geeky guy is to quote a line from Star Wars. That is super hot to us.
Indeed. Make it so.
Re:She tries too hard (Score:5, Insightful)
Star Wars quotes?
I think a simple:
"Hi!" *genuine smile*
Would land most any geek... Star Wars quotes would be a bonus.
Re:She tries too hard (Score:4, Funny)
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It really helps when she looks like the Russian contortionist Vlada!
Re:She tries too hard (Score:5, Insightful)
having to learn how to parrot stupid lines about x86 vs. ARM
Seriously. I'd be very weirded out if a girl used a line like that during a conversation, only to later find out that she had no clue what she was talking about. If she needs to resort to being fake to make people think she's interesting, well, I'll take my chances elsewhere.
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I've found that nothing will earn you a person's affection faster than sincere, honest conversa
No kidding (Score:4, Insightful)
If I were to give advice to women interested in a geek it would be this:
Most geeks are shy, and at least a bit socially awkward. You can't count on them to pick up subtle cues and you really can't count on them to make the first move. If you want to get to know them, go up to them, smile, and start up a conversation. They'll almost certainly chat with you.
Yes, it does mean that you have to risk rejection. Really, you can deal with it, guys deal with it all the time :D.
That is really all there is. If the relationship will work or all that other jazz, well you find that out as things progress, as with any relationship. The only real difference is that due to the generally shy, introverted nature of most geeks, you'll need to make the first move.
I suppose the other thing would be to understand that geeks do like computers and do want to chatter about them. That's fine, much as you might have an interest your boyfriend does not, it can be the same the other way around. You can still chatter about it. Just be prepared that he may want to talk technical. You can politely remind him that you don't understand it all, or simply ask, many geeks are happy to explain their hobbies in great detail if you wish.
You don't have to be fake, you don't have to pretend like you are a geek. You just have to be friendly and receptive.
Be nice and make the first move, I'd say you have a better than average chance of having a relationship if you want one.
Double standard sucks (Score:4, Insightful)
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Well, we are publicly mocking her. That's some sort of penalty, right?
Re:Double standard sucks (Score:4, Insightful)
Well, we are publicly mocking her. That's some sort of penalty, right?
Given that we're publicly mocking her on the Internet I'd say it's just business as usual.
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use is appropriate (Score:2)
So if some women's studies minor takes offense at a memo a guy wrote about how to date a geek-grrl, that guy had better be prepared with a swift, logical, and pointed defense. Otherwise, he's guilty until proven innocent.
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There's what's required to win a lawsuit, and then there's what's required to get someone fired or win an out-of-court settlement.
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Any lawyer worth his salt would tell his client they have no case.
And a really good lawyer would say that in a way that absolutely convinced their client that for just a little more money they could undoubtedly win the case.
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Re:Double standard sucks (Score:4, Informative)
Women can land any man they want (Score:3, Informative)
As long as they are not butt ugly (or fat) (or both) a teen o 20-something woman can pretty mcuh get any kind of man they desire.
Lucky beeotches.
Us men on the other hand have to work at it, and hear the word "no" or simply derisive laughter about 9 times out of 10 attempts.
Re:Women can land any man they want (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Women can land any man they want (Score:5, Funny)
Once you get to know a girl or two...
TWO girls??? Did you forget this is slashdot?
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Yes, but if there is also a cup involved that might help to sweeten the deal.
Re:Women can land any man they want (Score:5, Insightful)
There are downsides to both gender roles.
One workshop that tried to help genders understand each other better did these exercises:
- First, they got all the men in the room to line up and had the women rate them on their appearance, to teach guys that women feel constantly judged by how they look no matter what the context and give them a chance to see what that feels like.
- Second, they got the women in the room to go up to a stranger and ask them out, to get a feeling for what men go through every time they initiate a relationship.
What's particularly sad is the number of women who've been taught by their moms or Cosmopolitan and the like that when they like a man they shouldn't ask him out, but should somehow signal to him that they want him to ask her out. This leaves the women frustrated because the men didn't pick up their signals, and leaves the men frustrated because they can't figure out when a woman wants to make something happen.
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Not really true. They can always find *someone* who is ready and willing, but that is a far cry from having any man they desire. Once you get to know a girl or two, you'll probably realize they have to work at it a bit too, and it all evens out in the end.
I'm 30+ and married with kids, and this is 100% untrue. During my dating years, ALL effort was put forward by the males. ALL.
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They can always find someone that they desire.
There is a huge difference between "having any man they desire" versus "having some man that they desire, anytime".
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There's a difference between "finding someone that they desire" and "having someone that they desire".
Women often end up frustrated and disappointed just like men do.
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Women end up frustrated and disappointed because they choose to. When women are frustrated and disappointed, it's because they can't get a specific man. There are lots of other men, they are just being too picky. Generally men only end up frustrated and disappointed when they can't get any woman at all.
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Women end up frustrated and disappointed because they choose to. When women are frustrated and disappointed, it's because they can't get a specific man. There are lots of other men, they are just being too picky.
Sure. Whereas lots of men, on the other hand, set their standards too low and end up married to "that bitch", then the usual child support, etc.
Women and men really aren't all that different - there's a fair proportion of both who are 1) looking for a quick lay 2) looking for some me
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I very much agree. I think it's extremely common for women to be into 'bad boys'. Guys who seem confident because they don't seem to care very much about things. These same guys will end up irritating because when you're in a relationship with them, they'll treat you with the same level of caring they give to everything else: not much. I think another sad thing is that the guys who meet the 'bad boy' stereotype can be domineering and controlling. I suppose it mak
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You're doomed until you learn how to be at least a little bit of a jerk. The rules don't make sense, but they are the rules. Why are geeks willing to put up with all kinds of esoteric rule systems but then complain when they have to deal with this one? Its a predictable set of responses based on an expected stimulus. If you want a certain output, you need to provide the correct input. You can be a jerk to get your foot in the door, then let Mr. Nice Guy take over. They'll be even happier you did. Ma
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They don't *have* to work at it, they *choose* to work at it.
Re:Women can land any man they want (Score:4, Interesting)
I kind of feel like disagreeing with your fiancée there.
I'm a male-to-female transsexual... So I got to experience grooming myself both as a man and a woman. I can get dressed up in nice clothes, makeup, etc. in about an hour, less if I'm in a rush, and that's largely because I'm still not that good at makeup and it takes me a long time. So, I put in one hour of work, and I make heads turn, get whistled at, get hit on by tons of men at nightclubs. Arguably if I was better at makeup, I could do this in 30 mins. Putting on a bra, I can tell you, isn't very difficult. Jewelry? takes seconds to put on. Same thing for high heels. I don't find them very comfortable, but just t go out for an evening dancing, it's not a problem. I take a cab to and from the club, also mostly resolves the safety issue (and I don't usually go alone). Lingerie? I try to wear pretty underthings, but I think most men won't pick a girl based on whether or not she wears exotic lingerie in bed.
Now, grooming yourself as a man takes *some* time too. You also have to pick clothes you think are fashionable. You might also want to do something with your hair. Some men also wear jewelry. Not to mention, being considered a sexy woman is largely a matter of restricting the amount of food you eat. Being considered a sexy man (enough to distinguish yourself from the others) can require hours and hours working out at the gym. And then... Men often have to pay for women whenever doing an activity that requires paying, and do pretty demanding things for them. You just told us you drove *SIX HOURS* on a whim to date this girl? That means you were spending something around 33% of your awake time that day just for the privilege to see her, not to mention the gas. Do you think it took her more than an hour to make herself pretty?
In terms of dating, I think men clearly have to put in more effort. They are expected to do most of the courting, to pay for the girl, to come get her at home, to call her back, to compliment her, to think of interesting activities, etc. In terms of trying to just have casual sex with people, I think the asymmetry is even worse. Like I said, I'm a transsexual, so I have to be extra careful. When I go to nightclubs, I never leave with someone I didn't go to the club with. But, if I were a more anatomically standard girl, and I wanted to get laid with men, I could conceivably leave with a different guy each time, almost 100% success rate. I don't even think I'd have to spend more than an hour looking for someone. Guys? If they want to find a girl to get laid with at a nightclub, they have to come back over and over. I don't know what their success rate is, but it's probably no better than 25% of the time.
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They don't have to work at getting someone to have sex with them or hang out briefly with the hope of sex; true. If a woman wants someone to hang around and care for her (hey, it may be sexist, but screw you, there's still a ton of women that want just this) then they have to work pretty darned hard at it, especially as they get to 30 and beyond. Incidentally there would be more divorced women who quit working at this in the US if the divorce laws were even between the sexes (they aren't, which is the pri
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"Us men on the other hand have to work at it, and hear the word "no" or simply derisive laughter about 9 times out of 10 attempts."
I find a ball gag takes care of that right smartly.
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Nice stereo type there. Butt Ugly or fat.... um girls have to work at it to. Women are constantly scrutinized with the way they look or their weight, but are expected to just take a man as is. Shenannigans! It's equal work on both sides of the fence, you just see a false perception that women don't have to work at it. Go beyond the looks of the exterior and you'll be able to find someone with a great heart, spirit, and energy. Men would be amazed by the power of looking beyond the exterior of a woman
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Make the women want you!
Girls work on their appearance. They work on their relationship skills. The ones that don't aren't the ones I like. Or that you would like.. really.
The men that are the most eager to please and that think they NEED a woman and are therefore desperate are the least desirable to women.
These guys that fall over women, get nervous, worry about every little emotional thing.. they get insecure jealous and needy and it's all down hill from there.
The guys that are more selective about their
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You have no idea whatsoever what you are talking about. None. Whatsoever.
No, most men are just really pathetic (Score:5, Insightful)
This isn't actually directed toward commodore64. I don't know the first thing about his love life. For all I know, he has a harem of eager sex slaves who worship the ground he walks on. It's really directed toward anyone who read his post and thought "Yeah! He's dead right!"
You have it backwards. It's much easier for an unattractive man to make himself attractive than an unattractive woman. That's because most women are attracted by the way we make them feel, not just how we look (looks don't hurt, but you might be surprised by how many "pretty boys" can get enough women with just their looks that that they never bother to develop a personality...which is much, much more important). How often have you seen a drop-dead gorgeous woman with some pathetic loser and you wondered why, knowing you'd be so much better for her? How often do you see a drop-dead gorgeous man with a hideous woman?
We're the lucky ones. Many women will tell you that men get more attractive with age. Not all, of course. But a surprisingly high percentage.
We do have to work at it. But talking to women is actually a lot more fun than it is work. If you're getting an instant "no" as soon as you walk up, or simple derisive laughter when you try to step things up a notch, you're doing something terribly, terribly wrong. Women are much more sensitive to social nuances than men, and they're much more polite and concerned about hurting other people's feelings. Sure, you'll run into the occasional bitch, but they're really few and far between.
If what you're doing isn't working, change what you're doing.
I can't believe I'm getting ready to post this on /.
Patronize? Really? (Score:3, Insightful)
Although clearly meant in a lighthearted way, Sobon's missive serves to patronize both her company's customers...
No, no it doesn't....It's only offensive if you're a soulless, insecure, sensitive little bitch. Get over it.
Follow Up (Score:2)
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Ummm ... those aren't geeks - that's just guys sitting around looking at porn. Do NOTtouch their mouse or keyboard - you KNOW where their hands have been.
Like that's ever worked for anyone of either sex in a relationship - "Oh, they'll change when they're married." Not!
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Not to mention, if you're wearing "pants" rather than jeans when you go out on the weekend (excluding to fancy-pants restaurants) you're probably kind of a douche.
Re:geeks don't wear pants, they wear jeans and sho (Score:4, Insightful)
Being able to dress like a successful adult male doesn't make you a douche. There is more to dressing than jeans, cargo shorts, and ironic t-shirts, and if you don't want to be one of the average-looking Old-Navy-wearing clones at the bar, maybe you should try varying your wardrobe a little. Sometimes jeans and a t-shirt are appropriate... sometimes it's fun (and productive, in terms of attracting women) to wear something a little nicer.
And, anecdotally, you'll attract more attention if you dress up a little - speaking as an average-looking guy who's 20-35 pounds overweight (depending on the day, and depending on what I ate...), sloppy untucked t-shirts & shorts just tend to look bad. Dress up, tuck your shirt in, and spend 5 minutes throwing some polish on your shoes, and suddenly you'll find that girls think you're a lot better looking.
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Also, let's face it ... it's easy to get a geek.
Or if you're esthetically challenged -
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I’d be happy with either one alone, although just bringing beer might be too subtle.
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This reads like you're describing my husband, except I don't care about clothes either and still let his mom buy all his clothes. It works out. :-) I did ask her to stop getting him pleat-front pants, which she did.
One Last Thing.... (Score:5, Interesting)
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What I got from it was that Leslie Sobon wrote a thousand words and ended it with a recommendation to buy her company's product, and is now getting a hundred thousand hits on it that she wasn't expecting.
That's why she's the VP of Marketing at a multi-billion-dollar corporation, while we think /. is still pretty cool.
No, mam, no pants here (Score:2)
Finally, Sobon suggests that you ignore his clothes - apparently "most geeks don't wear pants," and women should "get over it and wait for the ring to diversify his wardrobe."
- that's right, depending on how I feel I have no pants on, and/or no underwear. Is it a blessing in disguise or is it your worst nightmare? Nobody knows.
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what a great idea! When I don't feel like putting on pants and underwear at all, those I find to be the quietest days in the office, so few people are around, I wonder why?
How I wooed by nerdy wife (Score:4, Interesting)
We are both into the same nerdy things (comics, video games, movies, etc) but we are into different TYPES of comics, video games, movies, etc. This allowed us to expand each other's exposure to our favorites, while still the same things. It gave us a lot to bond over during the early part of our relationship, and that helped us reach the point where we got married.
The overlap in the details of our common interests got the ball rolling, and the differences in the details of our common interests kept it rolling.
Silly AMD... (Score:5, Funny)
Don't they realize that if all their smart geeky employees start getting laid regularly they'll quickly lose motivation to work ridiculous hours for less pay than their superiors who don't do anything?
If geeks start getting laid, the American economy will collapse, since geeks is all we really have left. I, for one, think that the sexual activities of geeks should be heavily monitored and controlled by the government to ensure their continued general dissatisfaction with human relations. It must be done; for the sake of our children, for the sake of American prosperity.
p.s. I'm moving to Germany (Gottingen) next week.
Why women "in tech" don't trust each other... (Score:3, Insightful)
Because if she ain't an engineer, she's just coming to work to try to meet one. Kinds sad, if you ask me.
And how do you tell the difference? Between an actual female engineer and gals like this who can't even play one on TV?
Well, there's those degrees and certs to start with, not to mention the actual knowledge and actual accomplishments.
Unfortunately, there are so few of us that organizations have given up on discerning the difference.
I am very wary of women "in tech" who simply don't know anything except how to pander to *male* geeks.
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I for one am wary of any coworker, regardless of gender, who has not demonstrated an ability to do their job. Male or female or something else doesn't matter: that person's failings can and will screw up my life by either forcing me to take up the slack or pinning the blame on me for their problems. And as a male geek, pandering to me doesn't get you off the hook.
And you're right that a fair number of companies are fine with people who are incompetent at their jobs. Read The Peter Principle, which has a lot
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And as a male geek, pandering to me doesn't get you off the hook.
We can usually spot a baited hook question from a mile away. Anyone who tries to start a conversation by asking "is Kirk better than Picard?" is not likely to know anything about Star Trek other than a few names glanced from wikipedia. Ask us something with more depth, however, and you have our undivided attention.
I see where this is going... (Score:3, Funny)
Wow, I am offended (Score:2)
I read TFA and the Blog Post. I am a male geek and I am 45 years old, and have had only one sexual partner in all that time.
Even I am offended by this blog post. Not for what she says about geeks, but for how she treats other women, as brainless fashionistas.
If this is how women speak to other women, no wonder women seek out even the jerkiest of jocks -- even they will treat them better than other women!
Admittedly, I am cynical. I say things often that could be considered offensive or sarcastic, such as my
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I agree with another poster about this: If a man had written and posted this blog on AMD's site, he's have been fired in 2 seconds flat for sexism.
Way to go double standard.
It is odd that they allow personal blogs hosted on the corporate site complete with the logo and everything, although there is a disclaimer at the bottom:
"Leslie Sobon is corporate vice president, product marketing at AMD. Her postings are her own opinions and may not represent AMD’s positions, strategies or opinions. Links to third party sites are provided for convenience and unless explicitly stated, AMD is not responsible for the contents of such links and no endorsement is implied"
To me, that kind
Would the real Leslie Sobon please stand up (Score:2)
Alright, that's pretty good, but then these are also photos of Leslie:
one [digitalhollywood.com]
two [youtube.com]
three [gstatic.com]
four [mycom.co.jp]
That's quite a range there, never know what you're going to get.
Re:Would the real Leslie Sobon please stand up (Score:5, Insightful)
This is a photo of Leslie Sobon [amd.com] Alright, that's pretty good, but then these are also photos of Leslie: one [digitalhollywood.com] two [youtube.com] three [gstatic.com] four [mycom.co.jp] That's quite a range there, never know what you're going to get.
Are you new to dealing with human beings (I was going to say "women" but then realized even that was too narrow)?
Every single one of those pix looks like the same attractive woman. But people look a bit different from time to time, like when they are working vs when they are posing for an "image" shot. It is exactly the same with guys as with gals, except that you don't have the same "appearance police" mentality scrutinizing the guys for imperfections like you do with gals.
This reminds me of the candid paparazzi snaps of, say, Jennifer Aniston picking up some hygiene products on a midnight run to 7-11 at midnight in her sweats. Someone who is possibly the world's most beautiful woman (sorry Ashwariya) looks kind of dowdy under those conditions but she is still the same person and could look absolutely dazzling later in the morning. If she doesn't pass your "always must look beautiful test", its your problem not hers.
Guys who expect woman to be glamorous 24/7/365 are either very rich or idiots. Both sets are jerks.
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omigod. What if all women are capable of such shapeshifting! My god! Her lips aren't that red, her eyes aren't that big, her lashes aren't that long, her boobs aren't that perky and her legs aren't that long! Oh the humanity!
People who believe in dating strategies (Score:4, Insightful)
wind up with people who believe in dating strategies: shallow reptilian posers who look at other people like predators do.
But people who act like themselves, meet people who are actually interested in them. When you act like yourself, and follow no strategy at all, you form genuine lasting bonds based on your actual real personality and character.
Strategy, when it comes to meeting someone of the opposite sex you are interested in forming a lasting meaningful bond with, is failure. Because strategy is about conquest when relationships are about humanity. So the best strategy when it comes to forming a human bond with other human beings is absence of strategy. The less you try, the better you do, because without the sword and armor people see you for what you really are. Not everyone will like the real you, but its better to lead without the sword and armor, because if you build a relationship based on the sword and armor, you eventually have to take those things off, they cost too much to maintain, and the person you wooed with the sword and armor won't like what they see, and feel betrayed, since they were sold on the sword and armor.
Unless you are just looking to get laid. In which case, you should be concerned with nothing more than tactical warfare.
LOL (Score:2)
Just think: if WOPR from "Wargames" had met Skynet from "The Terminator", these computers wouldn't be trying to throw us poor humans into dystopian alternative reality nightmares, they would just be playing nice computer games in private.
So yes, meeting the right mate matters in avoiding genocidal thermonuclear war, or uh, something.
Sprinkler system (Score:2)
My wife runs the automatic sprinkler system. I don't go near that damn thing. It's worse than setting up Lexmark printers.
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It's the same with the auto-timed thermostat for me. The UIs on those things were designed by demonic hellspawn. And once you lose the manual - good luck!
Disagree (Score:5, Insightful)
I'm not sure my wife could name any of the programming languages that I have used in my career. And that doesn't bother me.
I don't need my partner to be interested in the specifics of my work. When I am upset or frustrated about work, or want to talk about what I did that day, generalities are fine, because honestly, unless you were on the same project I was on, it wouldn't make much sense no matter what level of vocabulary you had.
I've had the experience of dating a girl very seriously who was beautiful, highly intelligent, and an excellent system administrator. And our shared language and work/hobby interests did nothing to smooth over the rocky spots in our relationship, and while initially it made me much more attracted to her, in retrospect it was perhaps novelty more than anything else. IOW, her qualities as a person were considerably more important than her "job" as a sysadmin or her interests as "a geek", and our ideology and personality clashes eventually overshadowed our mutual geekyness.
_My_ advice to women who are interested in geeky guys is
1) be accessible. Women _baffle_ men, and geeks are used to being able to come up with valid mental models to predict the behavior of complex things. But this is regularly less successful than we would like when applied to girls. (See xkcd: http://xkcd.com/55/ [xkcd.com])
This means, when we work up the nerve to ask questions or chat, use accomodating body language. Listen, and ask clarifying questions to help draw us out more. Don't act like we have the plague -- we probably don't.
2) Expect to be challenged. Challenge back. Most geeks will want to have an authentic relationship. We will, like all asshole men, project our values, expectations, and ideas about women on to you, but we're better off if you challenge us when we do that. Not like "STFU you patriarch bastard", but actually engage us in a discussion about why we are wrong. You don't have to care about what we do, but you do need to demonstrate critical thinking skills. We, by and large, do not have serious relationships with people who are very beautiful but very dim and self centered. They are eye and arm candy, but not for serious relationships.
3) We are usually not eye and arm candy.
(To be fair, we're not asking you to be either -- very often :))
If we need to shave more or dress better or whatever to meet your expectations regarding house-broken mammals, we will probably not understand, and we will probably resist any attempts by you to guilt us or shame us into complying. Explain why it is important to you _personally_, and work things from that angle. There will be some amount of ideological opposition, but usually you'll luck out by appealing to the pragmatist within us.
4) Don't be ashamed of who you are or what your interests are. The AMD lady's advice is pretty bad I think -- if you're not interested in CPU types, don't pretend to be. Some of us love explaining that stuff to anyone who will listen, and others would rather not tell you if you cannot be bothered to find out for yourself. But don't patronize us and imply that you are interested when you really aren't.
5) Many of the same problems between men and women apply to geek men and women. We have pride, we desperately want your respect, it is important (to varying degrees) to us to be approved of by you. Often, we are better at expressing our anger and frustration in words, but not always. Some of us are alcoholics, quick to anger, and some of us will hurt you, because after all, we're still men, even when we're not tan and not rippling with muscle mass.
(PS: many of us are still confused about how we fit into a world that has a traditional yet evolving idea of what a "man" is. Yes, our grandpas fought wars, our dads worked in factories and enjoyed a stiff drink. Yet some of us don't like going outside. Somewhere inside all of us is the need to be a bit macho at times, but we're not always sure how.
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That is very well said!
One point about the generalities - I'm a computer tech who owns his own business, and when I have time I also do remodeling/carpentry/maintenance. The woman I live with is one of my best friends - almost twenty years now, living together when life brings us to the same place - and she works in professional handicap care - and neither of us are capable, nor have the time to, understand completely what the other does for a living. Yet our best times together, when we ca
For the (foreign) guys... (Score:2)
Ex pats living in Silicon Valley (where there's a low concentration of females) and unaccustomed to US dating rituals may find this useful: http://loveengineer.com/21/the-ex-pat-guys-guide-to-american-dating-rituals/ [loveengineer.com]
I love the shameless advertising at the end! (Score:3, Funny)
In her blog post, she recommends three things at the end of the article:
Buy your geek a Radeon graphics card.
Buy your geek a triple-monitor setup so he can run Eyefinity.
Buy your geek an unlocked Phenom II Black.
Quite the savvy saleswoman, this one.
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Hm (Score:2)
This post is not intended to be insightful or anything. It's just a rant about myself.
I'm starting to question my geekiness. I've always considered myself a geek (well, more of a nerd according to my definition of those two words), but I don't fit into any of the stereotypes listed in that blog post. I'm not a gamer. I'm not an overclocker (I do like good hardware, but I don't obsess over it). I'm not obsessed with any geek movies/series (star wars, etc. I enjoy some of them, but am in no way obsessed). It
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It seems like there's a definite difference between geeks and normies.
A real deal geek seems to be someone incapable of "normal" social functioning who seeks escape just like many others. Some people go with alcohol. Geeks go with technology.
A better take on the subject (Score:3, Interesting)
A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys
http://www.neystadt.org/john/humor/Girls-Guide-To-Geek-Guys.htm [neystadt.org]
Actual Acticle (Score:2)
The article is basically a lie (Score:2)
The tone that the author of the article asserts simply doesn't exist in the original blog post. She's offering lighthearted advice and never once even implied that women cannot learn these things. Indeed, she offers as a balance point that these women would likewise not need to learn sports - like they might with a more traditional male. They, in her mind, are clearly able to learn these things, but if they're not interested in it, they don't have to...
That's not anything close to article linked.
Re: (Score:2)