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USB Is the Devil's Connection 474

Posted by CmdrTaco
from the god-bless-the-loons dept.
Jamie handed us Satan's Data Connection. You see, sane and rational human being, the USB logo is actually in the shape of a trident, and the obvious action to Evangelical Christians in Brazil is to ban its use. Hopefully they don't mispronounce SCSI and find themselves lusting after their PCs.
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USB Is the Devil's Connection

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  • by roc97007 (608802) on Tuesday November 16, 2010 @06:52PM (#34249236) Journal

    A guy lying down carrying a briefcase and a pizza and... wait, never mind...

    • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

      [i]Hopefully they don't mispronounce SCSI and find themselves lusting after their PCs. [/i]
      I don't get it. In what way would they have to mispronounce SCSI?

      • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

        by Anonymous Coward

        secsy

        • Satan has never carried a trident - it is hard to say where this myth originated.

          He does, however, have an enormous johnston.

          Also, I suppose that there are key areas of the London Underground - which according to my tube map - these people would do best to avoid.

        • by BronsCon (927697) <social@bronstrup.com> on Tuesday November 16, 2010 @10:29PM (#34251000) Journal

          That's actually the proper pronunciation...

          "Larry Boucher intended SCSI to be an acronym all along. Pronounced "sexy." That didn't quite happen."

          See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SCSI [wikipedia.org]

      • by Surt (22457)

        SeCSI (sexy)

      • by Sponge Bath (413667) on Tuesday November 16, 2010 @07:15PM (#34249556)

        Kevin Flynn: Come on, you scuzzy data, be in there. Come on.

        What's not arousing about that?

      • by sumdumass (711423)

        The naming convention behind SCSI was originally intending on it to be pronounced Sexy (secsi).

        Evidently, if you read it, it's supposed to sound like that. The concept never really took off and people now forget about it. Btu sexy and lust is a close companion.

        Anyways, I'm wondering why they arne't worried about the World Wide Web. Everyone knows that W translated into Hebrew is 6 (actually the V is substituted as W doesn't exist) so whenever they go to a web site, they are paying homage to the number of th

  • It always looked like the top half of a SciFi skeleton to me. I guess it's time to up my meds again.
  • USB is the devil (Score:3, Insightful)

    by mirix (1649853) on Tuesday November 16, 2010 @06:54PM (#34249274)

    But not because of any tridents. Because of too many variants of connectors.

    And it can be a pita to implement for some things, teeny embedded ones for example. Not horrible, but just to set up serial port emulation can be fairly non-trivial. Although luckily people have written nice libs for a lot of things by now.

  • by billstewart (78916) on Tuesday November 16, 2010 @06:55PM (#34249276) Journal

    The rest of us always called it "scuzzy", and thought Apple Marketing's attempt to rebrand it as "sexy" was just lame.

  • A trident tested measure of faith.
  • by The MAZZTer (911996) <megazzt@gmai[ ]om ['l.c' in gap]> on Tuesday November 16, 2010 @06:55PM (#34249286) Homepage
    ...that the peace symbol was the Christian cross upside down with the arms broken off! OMG, Satanic message!
  • Bluetooth... (Score:4, Insightful)

    by damn_registrars (1103043) <damn.registrars@gmail.com> on Tuesday November 16, 2010 @06:57PM (#34249308) Homepage Journal
    Really? Jesus was born in the middle east and had blue eyes?

    Either way, though, Bluetooth was of course named for a Danish King. While he himself converted to Christianity he certainly ruled over a nontrivial number of non-Christian followers.
  • iLink 1394 Blasphemers!
    1394 - 728 = 666

  • by Anonymous Coward

    Make sure you don't install any SATAn drives either!

  • I wonder what they'd have to say about FireWire
  • Forks have no place the cathedral, they belong to the bazaar.
  • Not a story... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by random_ID (1822712) on Tuesday November 16, 2010 @07:03PM (#34249394)
    The article even says it is unconfirmed "if this turns up on Snopes don't blame me." Even with my sucky karma I expect better of /.
    • by PitaBred (632671)

      It's unconfirmed, but it's definitely making the rounds on Brazilian blogs and such. Even if it is a farce, the fact that it's newsworthy is newsworthy. IMHO.

  • Religion... (Score:2, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward

    The inhabitants of the earth are of two sorts: Those with brains, but no religion, And those with religion, but no brains.”
      - Abul Ala Al-Maarri

    • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

      by forkfail (228161)

      No, no, no.

      The two groups are those who try to divide everyone into two discrete sets and get it wrong, and those who don't try and get it right.

    • by Creedo (548980)

      The inhabitants of the earth are of two sorts: Those with brains, but no religion, And those with religion, but no brains.” - Abul Ala Al-Maarri

      I'd have to say that this is incorrect. There are plenty of smart people who manage somehow to believe in various deities and such. And there are plenty of dumbasses who have at least figured out that there is no god. Smart people are just as capable of irrational thoughts as anyone else.

  • I seriously doubt they'll behead anyone.......

  • Whew thank God... (Score:4, Insightful)

    by masterwit (1800118) * on Tuesday November 16, 2010 @07:10PM (#34249494) Journal

    This is good news!

    Just think, if scientology somehow found the keyboard to be a derivative of the devil / whatever-their-evil-avatar-is, the internet would be a much more comforting place also...

    But on another note, do these people know that most computers come with the USB symbol next to the port intended for their devil-plugs? I guess there is nothing preventing them from banning most computers!

    ...

    Users over there really shouldn't despair, there are usb-to-firewire adapters [google.com] out there...that way they can send the devilish signal back into the fire-filled hell where it belongs!

  • by Surt (22457) on Tuesday November 16, 2010 @07:11PM (#34249508) Homepage Journal

    The evangelical cult "Peace Beloved of the Lord" in the interior of Brazil forbids its followers to use any USB technology by contending that it uses a symbol that makes apology to the devil.

    According to its founder, the Apostle "Welder Saldanha says that this is just a symbol of Satan, is always present in all Christian homes.

    "The symbol of that name (he even likes to pronounce) is a trident, which is used to torture souls go to hell. Use only a symbol of those shows that all users of this technology pífia are actually worshipers of Satan "- explains the " Apostle. "

    Measures were taken so that all the USB connections of his followers were exchanged for common connections and even the Bluetooth (sic), which according to Saldanha Welder is permitted, for "Blue was the color of the eyes of our savior Jesus Christ" .

  • Serial ATA, Networked. Put that all together, you have something worse than USB :P

  • by w0mprat (1317953) on Tuesday November 16, 2010 @07:16PM (#34249562)
    Because it's symmetrical. Who but the most evil cabal of engineers on earth would design such a connector to be a perfect rectangle? Without looking closely you have a 50/50 chance of getting the correct orientation.

    Everything in computing from an RJ45 to IEEE 1397 have a obvious shape you can identify the correct orientation from.

    Yes, yes. I know the trident is supposed to go "up" in relation to the trident logo by port on the port. But this varies randomly from one manurfacturer to another, from device to device, and thats those that have the trident logo next to the port at all.

    Mini-B USB, popular for small gadgets, thank god, has an identfiable orientation.
    • by MachDelta (704883) on Tuesday November 16, 2010 @07:24PM (#34249654)

      Yeah, I thought this was common knowledge. I mean, who HASN'T experienced a severe homicidal urge while trying to plug a USB connection into the backside of some device?

      "Does it go... this way? Nope, lets try the other... no that's not it, maybe the first time was right... well.. no, no I think it IS upside down, hang on... oh fuck, I dropped it! I swear to god if I meet the motherfucker who designed this piece of shit i'm gonna rip his fucking... wait, I GOT IT! Oh thank god! Now, no one touch it, or I will strangle you with the cord and then use it to hang your corpse from a tree. Seriously."

      Well, maybe it's just me.

    • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

      by ZX-3 (745525)

      > Without looking closely you have a 50/50 chance of getting the correct orientation.

      And yet it typically takes three tries to get it turned the right way...

  • by HangingChad (677530) on Tuesday November 16, 2010 @07:17PM (#34249570) Homepage
    I stabbed a guy in the heart...with a (USB) trident!
  • hey (Score:2, Funny)

    by geekoid (135745)

    you can spell Satan with a keyboards, maybe they should stay the hell off the internet?

  • Firewire is how we will burn USB at the stake?
  • ...I see (Score:3, Funny)

    by Konster (252488) on Tuesday November 16, 2010 @07:40PM (#34249784)

    I see the connection here!

  • by medv4380 (1604309) on Tuesday November 16, 2010 @07:55PM (#34249928)

    Measures were taken so that all the USB connections of his followers were exchanged for common connections and even the Bluetooth (sic), which according to Saldanha Welder is permitted, for "Blue was the color of the eyes of our savior Jesus Christ"

    Bluetooth is the one using a pagan blind rune as its symbol and they are all excited about using it. Come on, next thing you know you'll see christens celebrating pagan holidays.

  • hoax (Score:3, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday November 16, 2010 @11:01PM (#34251116)

    I'm brazillian. For those who did not read TFA - well... The original site linked by TFA only publish made up funny news.
    From the site:
    Um site chamado "Bobolhando", não deve ser levado à sério!

    Se copiar, credite, ok?
    subjective translation:
    A site named "Idiotting" should not be taken seriously!

From Sharp minds come... pointed heads. -- Bryan Sparrowhawk

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