CDC Warns of Zombie Apocalypse 300
scotbuff writes "The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have written an article about preparing for a zombie apocalypse on their blog. The CDC knows that a zombie apocalypse is no joke. 'If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated.'"
Damage Control (Score:4, Funny)
... patient management and [...] infection control
So, that's the bit with the guns and the fire, right?
Re:Damage Control (Score:5, Interesting)
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Good point, but what if the apocalypse isn't in the US? Or (more frightening), what if the zombies are still sophisticated enough to use guns and decide that's the most direct route to delicious BRRRAAAIIIIIINNNS?
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Only if the zombification effect was spread only through direct physical contact. If the zombies are initially zombified by some avian flu-type-virus or an especially nasty water infection, we could easily see the vast majority of the population competing for a taste of the non-infected brains. In a situation this serious, you really have to account for all possible scenarios.
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Good point, but what if the apocalypse isn't in the US?
Where else then? Canada? Canadians are avid hunters too, and they have lots of guns in their rural areas. Mexico, South America? Do you think drug lords would have a problem killing zombies, or that the governments fighting those drug lords would not be up to the task?
Maybe the Europeans would have some problems, but even they have military forces that could probably take on the Zombies. In the worst case, they could call on their allies (like the USA) to send in some troops. I bet the US army wo
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In the worst case, they could call on their allies (like the USA) to send in some troops. I bet the US army would make short work of zombies, considering that the rules of engagement are (according to Zombie movies) effectively nil.
More likely, I think that if you phoned up most countries and said that there was a terrible disease that had wiped out most of the population and was continuing to spread, they'd be more likely to take a scorched earth approach rather than send people in that they need to bring back. At least that's what my plan would be after the coup when I'm dictator.
Re:Damage Control (Score:4, Interesting)
Where else then? Canada?
You must be from the US, nobody else on the planet thinks that simple-minded.
There are large stretches of Africa that are so busy with civil war and other issues that it would be days before an outbreak is even noticed, and something like two or three weeks before it's internationally reported. With zombie numbers growing exponentially, by the time some kind of outside military arrives, you'd already have a local Resident Evil scenario.
There are areas in Asia that are remote and close to inaccessible. Afghanistan mountains, jungles in Cambodia, northern India, western China, stuff like that. Similar scenario here, with the zombies potentially being able to overrun initial troop deployments because you simply can't airlift them in quickly enough.
And in both these continents, there are massive cities not far from mountains or jungles.
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There are large stretches of Africa that are so busy with civil war and other issues that it would be days before an outbreak is even noticed, and something like two or three weeks before it's internationally reported... There are areas in Asia that are remote and close to inaccessible. Afghanistan mountains, jungles in Cambodia, northern India, western China, stuff like that. Similar scenario here, with the zombies potentially being able to overrun initial troop deployments because you simply can't airlift them in quickly enough.
My zombie thought experiments have always brought me to the opposite conclusion. Considering how remote and sparsely populated many of those regions are, I would think they should be in a good position to survive a zombie outbreak. If a region is as inaccessible as you describe, they shouldn't receive more than a slow trickle of the shambling undead.
Especially Africa, considering the only thing they have more of than guns is a burning desire to kill outsiders, I think would handle such an outbreak really
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Canada has even more guns than we do, and Mexico, well, let's just say that folks have a hard time keeping their heads down there. So, really, North America is safe, so long as zombies can't figure out how to fly airplanes or operate ships.
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Uh, I know the article you speak of and it was idiotic. BTW, we have 1000s of deer and various other animals starve to death every year in several states and a large amount of predator repopulation. Less than 5% of the nation hunt and it is becoming a serious problem for the animals getting diseased and our safety (as coyotes like the taste of cats, etc).. Half-dead sick animals are the zombies we need to worry about.
Re:Damage Control (Score:5, Insightful)
Zombie apocalypses don't make much sense at all, unless zombieism (zombiism?) has a very long incubation period.
Why? Because zombies are horribly bad carriers of disease.
Think about what would actually happen. Let's assume some sort of worse case scenario, where zombies managed to overrun a small town or something. Let's say 100 people somehow get infected before people notice, which incidentally is incredibly high. Zombies are not subtle, and surely one of them would attack someone in sight of another person who could flee.
The word will get out, and at that point it's trivial to stop them from spreading, because zombies are very easy to identify. We'd put up quarantines, and only let the non-undead through.
Yes, some zombies would slip through, and, yes, they'd infect others, but once anyone actually knew what was happening, it would be common to start greeting people in the distance, 'I'm not a zombie!' 'Me neither!' 'Okay then, come over!'. I can even imagine people come up with some complicated hand waving that zombies don't do, depending on the rules. (Some have a rule that zombies remember stuff they did a lot in life, like open doors, so hand-waving may not work.)
But seriously, think about it. Zombieism is a great metaphor for a very contagious disease. But it's a rather sucky actual disease within the rules laid out for it. Actual diseases spread because people do not know they are infected, and neither do other people, and go about their business.
Zombies are obviously infected, and, what's more, don't drive from town to town or visit places by air or anything. Set up a fence already.
This is why all zombie fiction either starts with the zombies inexplicably already deeply entrenched, or is limited to a small area and over a small span of time, in a place where people are somehow greatly outnumbered by zombies, or have a cause of zombieism that effects a lot of people at once.
This is because it's nearly impossible to explain the actual spread of them across a large area in any reasonable way. I don't even mean 'the spread unchecked by man', although that would hinder them...but zombies are pretty shitty carriers of disease even when no one's against them.
Humans have cars, and will quickly leave zombie infested areas, while the zombies go after them. (Even 'fast zombies' can't beat a car.)
The only way a zombie apocalypse plausibly works is if something beside humans also carries it. Like birds or something.
Re:Damage Control (Score:4, Informative)
Just wanted to point out that Night of the Living Dead didn't need any carriers of disease. Any and every dead corpse on the planet started rising.
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One suggestion to the same effect in "zombie apocalypse" themed books by Andrey Kruz is that the virus itself does not make people zombies. They need to get infected and then die (or rather be hurt to the point where brain is still intact, but organism cannot support it), at which point the virus takes over the dead body. Thus, in his scenario, the virus spreads unnoticed for a few days first, and then dead start rising and attacking, causing panic and more deaths - by which time it's already too late to c
Re:Damage Control (Score:5, Funny)
"Oh Jimmy! I thought you were dead! You got hurt though and kind of have an odd vacant expression, let me give you A BIG HUG... OW! Why are you biting me, drooling, and grunting?!? No! Stop! Jimmy, I don't understand! Are you hungry? Oh good, a big crowd of people just showed up to help me.... OH GOD WHY ARE THEY BITING ME TOO?!?! THIS MAKES NO SENSE!!!"
Maybe some people who are so sheltered they've never seen a zombie movie would make that rookie mistake, but the rest of us will be all
"I'm sorry grandma... well sorry you're dead anyway, but no use crying over spilled milk and I've ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THIS WITH A CHAINSAW!!!"
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Maybe some people who are so sheltered they've never seen a zombie movie would make that rookie mistake, but the rest of us will be all
Assuming, of course, that zombies would actually look and/or act like in the movies. Now, how close to real life are movies in anything that's not day-to-day stuff? Say, computer operating systems, capabilities of military weapons, advanced science, codebreaking, ancient history - you name it.
A real-life zombie apocalypse would very likely look nothing like the movies.
Re:Damage Control (Score:4, Funny)
A real-life zombie apocalypse would very likely look nothing like the movies.
You mean they won't be shambling, mindless creatures bent on eating your brains? Wow, those would definitely be the most dangerous zombies of all. You can't tell them apart from normal people!
Hmm... Better be safe.
[Fires up chainsaw and starts driving to grandma's house]
Re:Damage Control (Score:4)
A real-life zombie apocalypse would very likely look nothing like the movies.
What do you mean, "would"?
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If you like zombie movies, you need to check out Fido [imdb.com].
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Zombies would not survive more than a few weeks against the kind of firepower that our hunters possess.
There's also the fact that most hunters are just waiting for any excuse to shoot their neighbors anyway.
Only certain coutries affected (Score:2)
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According to 28 Days Later, Doghouse, and others, I think the UK may be in trouble too. Transylvania has other issues to deal with.
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Don't forget Nightwatch/Daywatch (Russia?) and Dead Snow (Sweden or Norway) ;)
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Nightwatch/Daywatch are wonderful, but I don't know if I'd qualify them as zombie movies. There were some vampire type characters and various super-hero/villain characters, but not hordes of flesh-eating mindless killing machines - So based on the limited data I have right now I think the Russians are OK. You're right though - Norway not only has to deal with zombies, but Nazi zombies!
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Damn, been ages since I watched them. I guess vampires are just classy zombies anyway.
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Resident Evil films clearly show zombies infection being world wide.
Cause of the illness? (Score:2)
If there's a zombie near me, I don't care what caused it. I don't care to find the source of the infection, or develop a cure. I just want it dead. Again.
Prioritize your work, CDC. Start with cancer and stuff.
Re:Cause of the illness? (Score:5, Informative)
Basically this is the CDC's plan for dealing with a disastrous disease outbreak.
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According to the CDC blog you and all of your family members should gather outside your home. Yup, that's how they want you to stay safe when the zombies come for our sweet juicy brains, stand around outdoors waiting for your family to show up.
I think we can assume that the CDC is not the best source of zombie survival information.
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I dunno. In all those zombie and slasher movies, getting into enclosed spaces isn't the best idea.
Re:CDC is not the best source of ... information. (Score:2)
Or we can assume that the CDC is already infected by zombies.
Re:Cause of the illness? (Score:4, Interesting)
Prioritize your work, CDC. Start with cancer and stuff.
What the CDC is trying to do here, is show Americans how to react in an emergency situation. The Zombie invasion is just there to pique the readers interest.
A lot of the stuff is not Zombie or even disease specific such as a water requirement. I grew up in the cyclone zone of Australia, a lot of what I read I already knew,
- stock up on fresh water (fill the bath, every available container)
- same with tinned food and other non perishables
- fill up gerry cans
- have a short wave radio (two way if you've got one) and enough spare batteries
- know where the evac points are (set by the authorities)
- Plan a regroup point inside and outside the house with your families.
A lot of it is common sense which just doesn't get followed. That's what the CDC want to get through to people, in case another natural disaster like Hurricane Katrina happened again because in a disaster zone you may be out of reach of help for several days.
Best Treatment? (Score:2)
What do you mean, the best treatment? It better be a discussion of what best severs the spinal cord from a distance or I'll be losing faith in the CDC's ability to handle a zombie apocalypse!
what? no training program? (Score:3)
Just die already (Score:2)
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Isn't this zombie-mania past its prime yet? It was funny for a while, but now it's just overplayed.
That's exactly what a zombie sympathizer would say. Traitor.
Re:Just die already (Score:5, Funny)
Tbh I thought it had already died, but somehow it's come back.
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appropriate link (Score:2)
Monster Talk had the author of the Zombie Autopsies on for a fun chat about zombies. Monster Talk (podcast) is a skeptic's look at the science of cryptids and popular monsters. Their position is they love the monsters and the stories even if they don't believe in them and use the premise as a means of going into the science. Talk of the Loch Ness monster leads to plesiosaurs, their evolutionary history, and all the reasons there couldn't possibly be a breeding population surviving in the lake.
I didn't know
Um... taxpayer money went into this? (Score:2)
A tweet is one thing. An entire blog seems a bit over-the-top for dicking-off. Especially in these times.
Re:Um... taxpayer money went into this? (Score:5, Insightful)
You obviously didn't read the article.
It has some sensible disaster preparedness stuff in it. Just because it references popular culture doesn't mean it's a waste of money.
Government documents are boring enough as they are.
--
BMO
Re:Um... taxpayer money went into this? (Score:5, Insightful)
Personally, I think it's brilliant. Someone out there was assigned the job of getting as many people as possible to read some really boring emergency preparedness webpage, and they succeeded a million times over. It's on the front page of the WSJ.
Re:Um... taxpayer money went into this? (Score:5, Insightful)
The reason for this should be clear - has ANYONE here read a disaster preparedness article in the last 3-4 years? Probably not. This got the post on the front page of Google News, /., CNN, and countless other news sites. The page was "Slashdotted" all afternoon. How many people got educated about what to do in a disaster because they thought, "Oh, zombies, lulz!" I know I did. This stunt got them more exposure than $25 million in advertising could. I'd MUCH prefer that our government do cheap and more effective things whenever possible (especially when I get a laugh as a bonus), as opposed to tossing money everywhere for no effect.
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How many people got educated about what to do in a disaster because they thought, "Oh, zombies, lulz!"
That's ironic, because I honestly *didn't* read the article for the same reason- I thought it was just yet another entry on the pretend-serious joke "zombie apocalypse" bandwagon, which is starting to become overdone to the point of cliche.
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Hey what's your TMI score?
Seriously, for reasons adequately described by the other replies to your post, seek treatment.
Not meant literally, but rather a cultural appeal (Score:5, Insightful)
While the CDC doesn't think that there'll actually be a zombie apocalypse, they do recognize that some really bad scenerios involving contagious disease could happen, and the effect on society could come to resemble that of a zombie apocalypse.
Instead of biting you to infect you, someone coughs on you instead, either way you end up dead.
And the CDC is arguably more important than the US Military, and neglected. Which is REALLY a bigger threat to us, the military power of any foreign adversary, or a highly contagious disease that knows no borders?
At this point I'd like to remind everyone that 44,000 of us die every year from antibiotic resistant germs. Exactly how many of us died in 9/11? 3000? And yet we spend trillions on our military, and... HOW MUCH, on new antibiotic development???
--PeterM
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Instead of biting you to infect you, someone coughs on you instead, either way you end up dead.
No, if you get bit by a zombie you'll end up un dead
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It's not hard to imagine an infectious disease scenario which really does resemble a zombie outbreak, up to and including biting as a means of infection -- imagine a rabies mutation, for example, which has an incubation period of a week but allows for the host to stay alive for 3-4 weeks. Presumably (like in 28 Days Later) they'd mostly die of starvation or dehydration, presuming that the symptoms of infection prevented most rational survival behavior like drinking and eating.
I'd generally worry more about
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A person trying to kill you is infinitely more dangerous than a virus.
Really? Cause I'd wager you'd be a lot more freaked out by Ebola than a Slashdotter with a hammer.
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Wow, that's not true at all. In the worst case scenario of human deadliness, they're about equal. In any other case, I'd put my money on nature for mass destruction every time.
World War II killed over 60 million people. The 1918 flu epidemic killed between 50 and 100 million people. [wikipedia.org] Bacterial infections can be equivalently (or more) deadly: The bubonic plague in Europe killed 75 million people. If you add up all of the dead from all of the military conflicts in history and compare it to "acts of God" , I'm
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May not be needed any more. (Score:2)
When Jesus Christ returns this Saturday, the world's only confirmed zombie will be un-undead, solving the only known source of the problem.
So the CDC is a little late with its contribution, here.
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So what you're saying is that we need to decapitate him? or at least destroy his brain?
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No, we just need to wait until Sunday, then stand outside any church and ask the people going inside if it matters if they do that any more.
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No, we just need to wait until Sunday, then stand outside any church and ask the people going inside if it matters if they do that any more.
Any church?
I don't identify myself as a Christian, but you do realize the 175,000 or so whackos who believe this represent just a tiny minority of christians, right? Most are scoffing at this as much as any other religious (or non-religious) group.
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Would only be fair. How many brains were destroyed in his name?
probably just cover it up (Score:2)
If "patient 0" was was the result of DoD, DoE, CIA, or corporate experiments, they'd probably cover that up and blame it on "terrorists", 'specially if they could cover up human experimentation in some minor country, like, say, Costa Rica.
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If Patient Zero was the result of DoD or CIA experiments they'd shoot Patient Zero in the head and incinerate Patient Zero.
The end is nigh... (Score:2)
Misleading (Score:2)
After RTFA, it seems not so much that they prepare and believe zombies to be a threat, but more like page on that you should prepare for emergencies. And, maybe a bit lame, they choose a popular theme to explain how you should prepare as well as what the CDC is for.
Ok, that was reality, let's get back at poking fun at CDC
Hmmm ... (Score:2)
I'm sure I saw this on a TV show not long ago ... and by the time the good guys got to the CDC, they realized that had been wiped out too. Can't remember the name of the show at the moment.
Now, my next question ... is WTF is the CDC doing talking about the zombie apocalypse? Or is this just a cleverly disguised way of giving real emergency preparedness instructions and using social networking?
That's just plain bizarre. Possibly quite clever, but definitely bizarre.
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That's the one ... it was really well done. Though, it seemed like they played a marathon of season 1, and then just stopped. I was looking forward to more of it ... oh well, at least they're making a Zombieland sequel. :-P
I think it's hilarious that that they've got someone with the savvy to disguise a real emergency preparedness message in a "zombie apocalypse" thing ... too funny!
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The TV show was most likely AMC's The Walking Dead. They make it to the CDC right before it automatically self destructs to prevent the spread of the various other diseases they are keeping in storage: http://science.slashdot.org/story/11/05/18/1539244/US-Preserves-Smallpox-For-Defense [slashdot.org]
Zombie Awareness (Score:2)
May is Zombie Awareness Month. [zombieresearch.org]
( Well, actually, there are many unofficial dates set, so I observer all of them! )
Zombie Awareness Day [blogspot.com] is a great time to check your friends and family for bite marks and other tell tale "infected" behavior, and to review & revise your Zombie Plan (Think Fire Escape Plan -- Except that you're prepared to keep running for months after you safely exit the premises).
Which brings me to my next point: It's time to make sure you have your Zombie Preparedness Kit in order -
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Infected behaviour? You ARE aware that most of my friends are geeks, right? If I had to shoot them if they behaved apathetic, have pale skin, communicate in grunts or have questionable odor, I wouldn't have friends anymore!
Who are they kidding? (Score:2)
zombie repellent (Score:2)
I am disappointed that the list of items to keep in your emergency kit doesn't include a shotgun and a box of 12 ga. zombie repellent. Clearly they are not taking this seriously.
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No Shotgun?!? (Score:2)
First article i've actually read fully before posting...
Under emergency kit I was expecting to find at least a shotgun listed.
Maybe I just don't have a sense of humor... (Score:2)
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But as I said at the beginning... maybe I just don't have a sense of humor.
Writer's favorite zombie movie (Score:2)
FTFA:
my personal favorite is Resident EvilExternal Web Site Icon
Huh, I guess that must be the name of the next RE movie. Sounds interesting though. I wonder if they're going to have a Slashdot zombie. Maybe it will shun the outside, and refuse to leave its mother's basement, and still cry for brains.
CDC posting about a zombie outbreak, eh? (Score:2)
What do they know that we don't...?
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Of this I am aware. Slashdot erased my "</tinfoil hat>" (probably because it didn't recognize it as valid HTML) at the end that was meant to indicate it was supposed to be taken as humorous.
Discrimination Lawsuit (Score:3)
Really, the solution is easy. (Score:2)
"...and how patients can best be treated."
Romero gives the best advice, of course:
I keep telling my men to shoot those things in the head. Head... dead. Anyplace else, those things just twitch.
Plausible. (Score:2)
CDC have actually probably seriously considered this scenario.
Rule #4 (Score:2)
Double Tap. That's most of what you need to know.
It helps to already have the cardio. (knowing that rule doesn't help so much unless you knew for a while and prepared.)
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Won't someone think of the rabid zombie children?!?
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I'd like the people who guard deadly shit to have a psychological profile that comports with being effective at their jobs and not prone to insane outbursts.
IANApsychologist, but I think humor-less and boring people might be prone to snap at some point.
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I agree, and honestly, I was mostly kidding. Having a sense of humor doesn't necessarily detract from the seriousness of people doing their jobs (although it can), and I obviously doubt that the people writing their web content have a direct hand in level 4 bio-containment anyway.
That said, I would like seriousness to be maintained in whatever form most guarantees our safety.
it's a cute ad (Score:2)
It looks like they're trying to advert their emergency preparedness [cdc.gov] campaign, and this is a great creative way to do it.
Re:Much like any other outbreak? (Score:5, Funny)
Really? How many known diseases cause humans to turn and attack each other?
Usually we call it religion.
Re:Much like any other outbreak? (Score:5, Funny)
Yup. And the whole thing matches perfectly. I mean, let's compare the symptoms of zombification and religiousness:
Aggressive behaviour towards people with brains? Yup.
Mindless repetition of the same utterances? Yup.
Congregation with other diseased? Yup.
My friend, I guess you're on the right track here.
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Re:Much like any other outbreak? (Score:5, Informative)
I think the technical term you are looking for is "transmutation" or "transubstantiation" rather than "transfiguration." In the Christian context, "transfiguration" refers to an event where Jesus ascended a mountain with his disciples, shone with a bright light, conversed with (famous, deceased) prophets Moses and Elijah, and was declared to be God's son by a voice from the heavens.
While I do not believe in transubstantiation, and consider it to be a silly idea, it is not silly for the reason that you (and many ill-informed Christian-bashers) appear to believe. The language and understanding of transubstantiation is based on the technical language of Aristotle's philosophy and metaphysics. The "substance" that is purportedly changed when bread and wine are "converted" to the body and blood of Christ does not refer to the outward material form of the foodstuffs, but rather to inner "true" properties (a technical distinction in Aristotle's terminology that does not make sense in the context of other, more common modern metaphysical views). The outward form remains bread-y and wine-y; the Christian receiving the sacraments does not expect the bread to taste any more meaty or the wine any more bloody than regular. The reason that transubstantiation was rejected by Luther in the Protestant Reformation was precisely because of this reliance on finicky Aristotelian metaphysics (which was not biblically supported, nor self-evidently sensible), rather than due to the ridiculousness of bread materially transforming into human flesh, which no Christians (Roman Catholic or Protestant) actually believed in.
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Don't forget that there are some Christians out there who take the transfiguration literally and actually believe they are eating flesh and drinking blood. Granted, it looks like bread (or Styrofoam) and watered-down wine respectively, but if you take them at their word...
The Romans did. Cannibalism was at the top of the list of crimes of the early church, along with atheism (not worshiping the gods of Rome) and orgies (love feasts).
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Did you ever see the miniseries The Stand (or read the book, but I haven't)? Trying to break protocol and breach quarantine to save yourself because you believe you're not infected is almost as bad as trying to eat someone's brains.
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Rabies.
It often causes animals to attack each other. That is, in fact, how the virus spreads.
It does this by causing inflammation of the brain, resulting in hallucinations, violent actions, paranoia, agitation, often resulting in a period of mania where they can attack randomly. At least in people, and animals seem to suffer basically the same
With people, it's less likely, humans just generally act weird and eventually pass out, but it has been known to occasionally happen with untreated rabies. However,
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I think they'd crawl away ;)
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Well, but Ninjas and Robots are firmly in the hands of the Japanese and the RIAA has gobbled up the Pirate agenda, so what's left for them? You can only work with what you got.
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I like how "...and how patients can be treated." falls at the very end.
Treated...with a machete.
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Damn straight. If something remotely similar happens, the LAST place I want to be is where a lot of other humans are.
The desert looks very inviting in such moments.
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I don't know whether garlic would really work on vampires, but it should be effective against fangirls.
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I'm guessing the label covering the "Zombie mutation virus" label fell off on that bottle the DoD had them storing.