Orange Goo Invades Alaskan Village 153
s31523 writes "When the residents of the Alaskan village of Kivalina woke up last week, the unexpected sight of an orange goo covering the surface of the water was quite alarming. Suspecting a oil spill or some other man-made disaster, the residents worried about the toxicity of the substance. After NOAA investigated, it was found the that goo is an unknown type of microscopic eggs. According to NOAA scientist Keep Rice, 'We now think these are some sort of small crustacean egg or embryo, with a lipid oil droplet in the middle causing the orange color.' More work is needed to identify what the eggs are and what caused them to show up."
Have to know (Score:5, Funny)
Have any of them tried running across the water at super speed?
Re:Have to know (Score:4, Insightful)
Came for the Portal 2 reference. Didn't leave disappointed.
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I was hoping for some sort of new "Cave Johnson" quotes. I think we should have a contest for who can come up with the Best CJ commentary on this situation.
=)
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Cave Johnson doesn't concern himself with orange anything. It's lemons, or nothing!
Re:Have to know (Score:4, Funny)
Good news, everyone who came for the Atomic Caviar Banquet: we've successfully determined that yes, irradiating wild Alaskan salmon with pi-neutrino flux does improve both the flavour and supermarket shelf life. And the side effects are very minimal. Hardly any at all. Just a quick point of order, if you've actually eaten any of the Atomic Caviar, we have a superb team of xenobiologists in the surgical annex who'd like to have a chat. We'll have those flesh-eating parasites scrubbed from your blood and you'll be up and breathing again in no time. The iron ribcage is free of charge.
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Well, with only one entry, it wasn't much of a contest, but nicely done, anyhow. =)
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They're supposed to ingest it so they make sure they don't have time to acquire calories from food.
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They're supposed to ingest it so they make sure they don't have time to acquire calories from food.
Yah. Just make sure you chew slowly and deliberately, or it could get very uncomfortable ...
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They could get these guys [blogspot.com] to try it. YT [youtube.com]
Re:Ocean Temperatures (Score:5, Insightful)
As much as i understand that there is climate change, this type of speculation before analysis is exactly what the world does not need.
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Bow your heads and ask for mercy...
or at least a tanker full of lemon butter.
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this type of speculation before analysis is exactly what the world does not need.
That's an interesting speculation. You should run an analysis on it, I think.
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These are obviously eggs laid by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in an effort to save the world from Global Warming. They will hatch into Pirates.
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SQ, you made my day. Thank you!
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The biggest solar flare, and now this? We MUST stop global warming! Teh flares and teh mutant goo will only get worse!
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ROFL
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When a reasonable scientific speculation can be labelled as "troll", I think it speaks more to the decline in public scientific discourse than it does about my comment.
Re:Ocean Temperatures (Score:4, Informative)
In recent years (10-15) the warming is far below any noise level.
In any 10 to 15 year period the warming is below the noise level, because we're talking about a global average of about 0.15C per decade, and changes in heat transfer from ocean to atmosphere from year to year cause variations that are larger than that. But, even with the annual variations over the last decade, the warming trend is still apparent. http://www.skepticalscience.com/global-cooling-january-2007-to-january-2008.htm [skepticalscience.com]
But even though the global trend is 0.15C per decade that doesn't mean that changes in specific places haven't been much larger.
At least it's orange... (Score:2)
All of the stories I've read say that the world ends from Grey Goo. So Alaska is safe!
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I suspect you've missed a few stories.
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That just because they're old stories and you watched them in Black and White. They show up as orange in the newer series'.
"According to NOAA scientist Keep Rice" (Score:5, Funny)
His brother Store Grain says it was all a hoax.
Jeep Rice (Score:2)
Weird. I did some checking and apparently his real name is Jeep Rice. [noaa.gov] Really!
Keep Rice was a typo, and that typo is now being propagated all over the Inter-Tubes by trusting bloggers and news aggregators who don't check their facts. (And speaking of Inter-Tubes, he works at the Ted Stevens Marine Research Institute.)
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Weird. I did some checking and apparently his real name is Jeep Rice. [noaa.gov] Really!
Keep Rice was a typo, and that typo is now being propagated all over the Inter-Tubes by trusting bloggers and news aggregators who don't check their facts. (And speaking of Inter-Tubes, he works at the Ted Stevens Marine Research Institute.)
Just add a couple of spoilers on it and you will have your Jeep Rice.
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Don't forget the go-faster stripes.
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Are we doing Car Talk jokes now?
ocean surface full of living things, story at 10 (Score:5, Funny)
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"I don't drink water; fish fuck in it" -- W.C. Fields
This guy should just admit it, and come out of the water closet.
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Fish don't "fuck". They just swim by the eggs and ejaculate.
Although that just makes WC's remark sound even more gruesome.
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I've seen it, search for shark humps a whale.
Oblig Discworld (Score:2)
Water that's passed through that many Kidneys must be extremely pure
And that was how it began, kid... (Score:5, Funny)
Back in them days, Jimmy, we was called the "EuEsAy" and you could walk the streets right out in the open without a rifle. Not an alien in sight, if you can believe that. Then them damn eggs came.
Re:And that was how it began, kid... (Score:5, Funny)
Supply Depots In Front (Score:2)
Supply Depots in front of bunkers. Upgraded range Marines x 4 later drop in a ghost or two for ultra range.
Backup with a few turrets and seige tanks for the win.
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Oh, you meant (former) GOVERNOR Palin...
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MY 40mm automatic repeating rifle with explosive rounds is mighty effective against the krill.. as long as I'm not overrun as this dang thing is mighty heavy to move.
I can explode a coyote from well over 1500 yards with this beautiful gun.
Orange? (Score:2)
Reports say it's crustacean eggs. (Score:5, Insightful)
According to a ton of different reports on Google news, the substance was tested and found to be crustacean eggs of some type.
So crustaceans: crabs, lobsters, crayfish, shrimp, krill and barnacles. Considering the location and volume, I'm suspecting something like a huge krill spawn that was swept onto the shore by unusual currents, a storm system or the like. As for it being toxic, that's pretty laughable. Toxic crustaceans are very few and far between (one that hasn't been eating toxic algae, and considering these are eggs, they haven't been eating anything).
As far the natives not seeing anything like this before... well it's a big planet. Completely natural, explainable things happen all over the globe every day that haven't happened in that particular spot for hundreds if not thousands of years.
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...it's a big planet. Completely natural, explainable things happen all over the globe every day that haven't happened in that particular spot for hundreds if not thousands of years.
You're crazy! This must be global warming. Send more money to Al Gore, stat!
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No, you're crazy! This must not be global warming. Send more money to Fox News, stat!
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How much tax payer money has Fox News acquired for anti global warming research or denial?
Just curious is all.
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Toxic crustaceans are very few and far between (one that hasn't been eating toxic algae, and considering these are eggs, they haven't been eating anything)
Wait about a week and go walk on that beach. You just might change your mind. Or have your nose do it for you.
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Alien Crustaceans. It's a zerg drop.
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scope them up and sell the to the Japanese. They will eat anything from the sea.
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>> Completely natural, explainable things happen all over the globe every day
I hear orange goo has invaded New Jersey beaches for several years now.
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I hear orange goo has invaded New Jersey beaches for several years now.
Not crustacean eggs, but definitely crabs-related.
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So crustaceans: crabs, lobsters, crayfish, shrimp, krill and barnacles.
A View To A Krill
The Krilling Fields
Natural Born Krill
Dressed to Krill
Wilbur Wants To Krill Himself
Krill Bill
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They say that when they dry up, they turn powdery and blow away. So some blow onto the beach, dry into a powder, and blow around town, sticking to anything that's wet, including rain buckets.
You know, either that or they're really from outer space and this is chapter one of some sort of Robin Cook novel. All things considered, I'm gonna stick with the wind theory.
it's triops! err, seamonkeys! (Score:2)
and was also seen floating on top of buckets used to collect rainwater, following a downpour.
How do crustacean eggs get from the ocean to buckets for collecting rainwater?
Ask Charles Fort.
Or that whiz-kid in "Magnolia".
Re:Reports say it's crustacean eggs. (Score:5, Insightful)
Golly, you make so many assumptions there I don't know where to start. I have no masters in marine biology, I've just lived by the ocean my whole life. I'm not thousands of miles away, either. One of the reasons that I wasn't overly surprised by this is that every 10-12 years something similar to this happens around here.
Last year it was millions of brown jellyfish all over the shore and in the water, in concentrations that none of the old-timers could ever remember having seen. It was bizarre, and shocking.
Once, back in the mid '80s, there was an unbelievable swarm of pelagic crabs--little red swimming guys about the size of a small crawfish. Nobody in the area had ever seen one before, but now they were covering the beaches up to the high tide mark--some live, some dead--for miles and miles up and down the coast. From a distance it was a thick band of crimson between the water and the rocks or dunes. They were thick in the water too. They've never come back.
Dont get me started on algae blooms.
These things happen. And yes, panicking about it is an overreaction.
Knock knock (Score:2)
I for one! (Score:1)
It's plain as sin! Jellyfish Eggs of course!
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We're gonna need a smaller boat.
What caused them to show up? (Score:1)
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In other news, (Score:4, Funny)
I, for one, welcome our new orange overlords! (Score:1)
Warning Kraken (Score:2)
Life in 2011 (Score:3, Funny)
NOAA Scientist: No need for alarm! It's only billions of eggs of a rare species of crustaceans that, when they hatch, will burrow into your skulls and parasitize your brains. But no worries, they're all natural and have been around for millions of years. It's just part of that wonderful cornucopia of wild life that we evil humans have been destroying with our unsustainable and unnatural way of life.
Hysterical Alaskan Villager: *Whew* Thank goodness it isn't some nasty byproduct of our immoral industrial civilization. I feel so relieved!
NOAA Scientist: Carry on as usual, good earth-friend. Well, for the next few days anyway. What's the quickest way out of town? I have an appointment elsewhere...
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Brain Parasites? Drill, Baby, Drill!
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Krill, Baby, Krill.
Been done before... (Score:1)
Sorry, but is this the sequel to Tim Burton's Cadavre Exquis [burtonstory.com]?
They don't call em' "Sperm" whales for nothing... (Score:2)
Just sayin.
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Hmmm (Score:3)
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Since this is Slashdot, I have to assume the orange goo comes from either a Microsoft security flaw, or a privacy issue with facebook.
Or maybe this is the result of patent trolls trying to bribe the USPTO with bitcoins.
...oh right! My mistake. "Patent troll" has already been taken [slashdot.org]. Maybe we can call them something more fitting, maybe 'scumbags' perhaps?
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Why can't it just be a bug in the slashcode itself? Huhn? Never though o' that, didja?
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You would be incorrect with this assumption. It is part of the TSA's new initiative, to better humiliate travelers.
No orange goo bath = terrorist.
well, now that you mention it... (Score:2)
go back to "Jersey Shore".
What causes eggs to show up... (Score:3)
More work is needed to identify ... what caused them to show up."
Well, the first step is when Mommy and Daddy crustacean come to love each other very much...
Lipid Oil = Energy? (Score:3)
Re:Lipid Oil = Food? (Score:4, Funny)
Soylent Orange is Crustaceans!
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Does it vaporize? (Score:2)
If so, it's probably caused by a nearby Boneshaker. Look out for zombies.
Laboratory protocol (Score:2)
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7. Then comes the running, and the screaming.
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1. (PPPS) Purchase jar of Paul Newman pasta sauce
2. (EPP) Eat pasta sauce on pasta of choice
3. (FLUS) Wash out jar
4. (BLEH) Go down to beach and put some eggs and seawater into jar
5. (MEH) Take jar back to the lab and keep it aerated and at sea temperature until eggs hatch
6. (GIS) GIrly Scream (at) whatever the hell swims out
7. ???
8. Profit!
In a related story... (Score:2)
Caviar prices took a dramatic plunge on the futures markets today...
Anybody... (Score:2)
Remember that show Surface?
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It's Third Impact! (Score:2)
watch out for Zoidberg (Score:2)
Protip (Score:2)
In other news... (Score:2)
Some fish had a really really good orgasm.
Haha. (Score:2)
Haha. "Toxic spill."
The yolk's on them!
but no, seriously... (Score:1)
Flavor? (Score:2)
Orange is code for Red (Score:2)
NATO used to pitch blue forces against orange invaders in all of their simulations. Orange of course being code for Red.
Hopefully, once these things hatch some teenagers will make it to the mountains and then save as all
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Hopefully, once these things hatch some teenagers will make it to the mountains and then save as all
John Conner and his wife were both adults in T3L Rise of the Machines.
gelatinous human-dna stuff (Score:2)
Reminds me of an episode of Unsolved mysteries where green goop blanketed a whole town one night. People got sick from it. Tests revealed there was human blood cells in the goop.
Can't find any pictures, but here's a collection of news articles about it: http://www.rumormillnews.com/cgi-bin/archive.cgi?read=187500 [rumormillnews.com]
the blob is back (Score:2)
At the end of the movie, the blob was sent down into the arctic waters to freeze, maybe it found a way to come back, what ever you do, dont touch it!!!
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Then you might want to go see a doctor.
Re:That's just what they want you to think. (Score:4, Funny)
Well, you know, I've always been worried about a "grey goo" apocalypse, but now that it's happening and it's a bright cheerful orange color instead, I guess I'm okay with it!