Taken Over By Aliens? Google Has It Covered 99
swandives writes "Imagine what would happen if all the Google engineers turned rogue and held the world's Gmail accounts to ransom. Or if aliens attacked earth and wiped California off the map. Seems the folks over at Google's enterprise division have already considered these scenarios. CIO is running an article, as part of a larger interview with Google Enterprise director of security, Eran Feigenbaum. He's a fascinating guy — in his spare time he practices magic and mentalism, and you may also have heard of him as Eran Raven, a contestant from the NBC television show Phenomenon."
Distributed Administration (Score:0)
Rogue engineers? How about a Distributed Administration Netowrk [metagovernment.org]. Ain't easy to set up, but surely Google can do it.
Re:Distributed Administration (Score:1)
Re:Distributed Administration (Score:0)
Oh. I suppose Google doesn't have very much money. Thats why they sponsor studies like this.
Wow, what a waste of money (Score:1)
Okay, so the 'engineers turned rogue' part might work out fairly well, but seriously, aliens?
In other news, how do I apply for a job here. I'm pretty sure I can come up with all kinds of silly scenario's - and get paid for it.
Re:Wow, what a waste of money (Score:5, Insightful)
Zombies are a biological/Social Disorder disaster Aliens would represent massive and sudden technological disaster (for example, massive communication failure with California)
Re:Wow, what a waste of money (Score:2)
And Zombies are a HORID placeholder. There give a preconceived notion of a specific reasons and that leads to people taking preparations towards a specific respond instead of a set of possible disaster types.
Of all the disease scenarios, zombies would be one of the best because to would be the easiest to isolate. When you are thinking 'I can see the sickness', then you have failed in preparation for disease outbreak.
Zombie are a cure social fad leveraged for PR to draw attention to the groups that do preparation, nothing more.
Re:Wow, what a waste of money (Score:1)
And Zombies are a HORID placeholder. There give a preconceived notion of a specific reasons and that leads to people taking preparations towards a specific respond instead of a set of possible disaster types.
So you are saying that when I read that preparing for a zombie pandemic would prepare you for other types of disasters I shouldn't have just bought a shotgun and three thousand pounds of shells?
Re:Wow, what a waste of money (Score:0)
What a fucking mess, yet again. Do you ever actually read the garbage you post to SlashDot? DadInPortland, I hope your kids end up with better literary skills than you demonstrate.
I can see that you are quite capable of constructing English sentences that *make sense*, but you're clearly too fucking lazy to do so.
You make me sick.
Re:Wow, what a waste of money (Score:-1)
Re:Wow, what a waste of money (Score:0)
You're completely missing the point. The "aliens" were clearly a joke and essentially irrelevant to the DR scenario they ran through. They actual scenario was "what if California didn't exist" which is a perfectly valid DR scenario and absolutely not a waste of money.
Re:Wow, what a waste of money (Score:0)
Not a waste of money. Paul Krugman says an alien invasion is good for the economy. [youtube.com]
Re:Wow, what a waste of money (Score:0)
Aren't they already busy killing gmail accounts due to integration with Google+ and the use of 'false' names?
Re:Wow, what a waste of money (Score:0)
Aren't they already busy killing gmail accounts due to integration with Google+ and the use of 'false' names?
Losing your google+ account for "'false' names" does nothing to your gmail account.
Re:Wow, what a waste of money (Score:1)
Except of course when it does:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/punctuated-equilibrium/2011/jul/25/1 [guardian.co.uk]
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/punctuated-equilibrium/2011/jul/28/google-open-letter-google [guardian.co.uk]
Re:Wow, what a waste of money (Score:2)
Golden Girls! (Score:-1)
Thank you for being a friend
Traveled down the road and back again
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a cosmonaut.
And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you ever knew
You would see the biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say, thank you for being a friend.
ummmm.... (Score:5, Funny)
Ummm...we can just track them down and dangle them out of a window until they agree to release the accounts? We're talking about software engineers here, not special forces commandos.
Re:ummmm.... (Score:2)
"dangle them out of a window until they agree to release the accounts? We're talking about software engineers here,"
That's an awfully big crane you'd need to do this. Are you sure you want to go through with that kind of expense?
Re:ummmm.... (Score:2)
No way all the people working at Google are all software engineers!
Re:ummmm.... (Score:1)
True, with the recent number of google fuckups, they must have at least a few managers too.
Re:ummmm.... (Score:0)
How are you gonna track 'em? They have control of Google. You can't Google them! No Google maps to help you!
Whatcha gonna do, use Bing?? Or Yahoo?? hahahahahahahhahahaha
Re:ummmm.... (Score:2)
"Imagine what would happen if all the Google engineers turned rogue and held the world's Gmail accounts to ransom"
That would be too bad for google mail users, they would have to restore from their local backups. You have local backups right?
I'd not be affected anyway as I never trusted google with my email.
Re:ummmm.... (Score:1)
Google does a better job managing their backups than I do my own. Not trusting Google with your privacy is smart, but not trusting them to manage data is silly.
Re:ummmm.... (Score:1)
Wasn't Neo a software engineer?
Alien attack unlikely (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Alien attack unlikely (Score:2)
Yeah, here's a depressing look at a much more reasonable alien invasion than the one featured in _Footfall_:
http://www.tor.com/stories/2010/02/vilcabamba [tor.com]
William
Re:Alien attack unlikely (Score:2)
More likely that hostile star-faring aliens would kill humanity quickly with technology we can't defend against. But this notion of them coming to earth for resources is absurd. There are far more of any natural element in the asteroids. The need for water in a recent sci-fi movies was laughable, more of that in the solar system outside of earth than in, in any form you want: steam, liquid, ice (just follow comet)
Re:Alien attack unlikely (Score:1)
``Vilcabamba'' was interesting in that it tried to get this right, noting the earth as being more tectonically active than other planets, and having the aliens digging deep for materials like mercury which are unlikely to exist in the asteroids AIUI.
On the gripping hand, that was something which _Footfall_ got right --- noting that the aliens could have done much better to have chopped up the asteroid they dropped on earth and sold it as minerals instead, but placing a psychological block against their doing so.
Anyone got a breakdown on which solar system bodies are composed of what?
William
Re:Alien attack unlikely (Score:2)
It depend on why the are travelling.
Large multi-generational ships would stop at a planet the was favorable to live on. It's only logical to spread the species...they would ALSO mine other sources as well.
How many asteroids of air? food? land for expansion?
"If a country has the resources to send a ship across the ocean, there are far more resources in the ocean so coming to our continent is absurd."
Re:Alien attack unlikely (Score:2)
"If a country has the resources to send a ship across the ocean, there are far more resources in the ocean so coming to our continent is absurd."
That's not a fair comparison because the shipbuilder doesn't necessarily have the technical capacity to mine the oceans, whereas the spaceship builder is guaranteed the technical capacity to mine the asteroids.
Re:Alien attack unlikely (Score:0)
It's only logical to spread the species
Assuming the aliens think somewhat like us (which is unlikely, but the other option would have too many possibilities), and if the aliens that came here did so on their own dime, spreading the species would be pointless to them. When was the last time you thought to yourself "hey, I should move to Antarctica, few people live there and it's important to spread the species"?
I don't get why people always think we special snowflakes are all unique, but aliens always think alike - some species care only about killing, others about research etc. That's ridiculous.
Re:Alien attack unlikely (Score:0)
Sorry guy , we already have a base in Antarctica, and we won't allow human beings to go there. Remember the Admiral Byrd's endeavour? It was a total failure , but not for us.
John
An Alien in Antarctica
Re:Alien attack unlikely (Score:2)
Besides, if the Earth is completely uninhabitable, Google can just retreat to their moon base [google.com].
Re:Alien attack unlikely (Score:0)
You're assuming aliens are super advanced. What if we stumble open some super fast/cheap method of traveling between planets. I think a lot of aliens would be screwed.
Re:Alien attack unlikely (Score:0)
Or what about aliens obtaining advanced tech from another race inadvertently (plots of Macross and Star Control come to mind) where they are able to use the advanced system, but not replicate it. Take a look back at colonialism and what the native populations were able to do with guns despite lacking anything close to the necessary tech base to produce them.
Re:Alien attack unlikely (Score:0)
An alien attack is a really unlikely scenario.
Well, unless the government stops giving out H1-B visas...
Oh, you meant space aliens. Well, China is launching people into orbit now...
Re:Alien attack unlikely (Score:2)
Yeah, like humans who discovered how to make ships and navigation equipment didn't promptly use the technology to subjugate the natives of other continents and hunt all sorts of animals to extinction.
Re:Alien attack unlikely (Score:2)
Things like "Alien Invasion" and "Zombie Pandemic" are often used in war colleges to encourage creative thinking in developing combat plans.
It's not entirely insane. Say someone at Google designs a plan on what to do if an EMP is detonated over California (i.e. a nuke going off at high altitude). Crazy and pretty unlikely, but say a solar flare smacks the shit out of California and exactly that happens. Welp, as unlikely as the first scenario was they now have a plan.
what about the san andreas fault going off and (Score:3)
what about the san Andreas fault going off and makeing CA split off from the rest of the usa?
Re:what about the san andreas fault going off and (Score:0)
That's when google plans to declare their independence as a nation. Or just assert their dominance over the world from their private island.
Re:what about the san andreas fault going off and (Score:1)
what about the san Andreas fault going off and makeing CA split off from the rest of the usa?
I'm in favor of this scenario. In fact, I don't even think we should wait for the San Andreas fault to make its move.
Re:what about the san andreas fault going off and (Score:0)
... nothing of value was lost.
Re:what about the san andreas fault going off and (Score:2)
Re:what about the san andreas fault going off and (Score:2)
I thought CA stayed in place because New Jersey sucks.
Re:what about the san andreas fault going off and (Score:2)
That can't happen.
Re:what about the san andreas fault going off and (Score:0)
"But I'm le tired..."
"Then go take a nap, then FIRE ZE MISSILES!!!"
Re:what about the san andreas fault going off and (Score:2)
what about the san Andreas fault going off and makeing CA split off from the rest of the usa?
That's why FEMA keeps Superman on the payroll!
Now, the much more likely scenario of Superman going Zod and installing a puppet President while he creates a utopian mutant state - that's why FEMA keeps _Batman_ on the payroll.
If Batman goes rogue? Well, there's this guy down in Special Forces with purple hair and a big grin, very good with wetwork...
Re:what about the san andreas fault going off and (Score:0)
I enjoyed the take Eek! The Cat had on that.... the US sank and california was fine :D
Re:what about the san andreas fault going off and (Score:1)
what about the san Andreas fault going off and makeing CA split off from the rest of the usa?
I thought San Andreas was already split off from the rest of the USA, unless you get Vice City or other mods.... need controller back.
why do we assume (Score:1)
Re:why do we assume (Score:0)
if they get to us before us to them, it is very likely.
Re:why do we assume (Score:0)
Because if they aren't, they very likely can't get here.
Re:why do we assume (Score:0)
See, this is just plain wrong.
We already CAN launch a ship in to space right now.
We already KNOW how to make a closed-off environment.
We already KNOW how to secure a ship tight so tight that even a micro-blackhole wouldn't be capable of damaging it.
We already know how to send ships millions of miles over many years. Doing the same with that number to the power of itself a few times isn't much different. Besides, there'd be a pilot.
Given a decent number of families on board, and explicit instructions to tell their offspring nothing of Earth, checked out, made sure they aren't absolute screwballs, they'd probably be fine and not go insane like some Spacestation 13 match.
The one thing we CAN'T do is consider putting money behind something like this because our world is a corrupt pile of fecal matter and it doesn't directly benefit anyone in the positions of power. (that includes even people at, say, NASA, they are too busy designing the next robot, with a limited lifespan instead of building something expensive and indestructible to be the ultimate robot so that there'd never be a reason to send another one EVER, to go die on Mars or whatever)
Besides that last point, it is entirely possible for us to build a huge-ass ship up there right now, fill it with an artificial environment and punt it off to the nearest planet we confirmed to have life on it.
Or better yet, punt it off to a planet(s) we know could probably contain life and spread the human race far and wide.
All those eggs in one basket is surely going to end badly.
Re:why do we assume (Score:2)
We've never been successful in managing a sealed environemnt for long (how good are we at managing the unsealed environment?). The energy requirements for getting to another star are much, much higher than most people realize.
To reach a nearby star in the order of 1000 years would require delta-V of about 0.02c. With an engine like VASIMIR that means we'd need roughly the mass of the Earth in fuel (technically, in reaction mass) for every kg shipped.
It's simply not possible with current technology.
Re:why do we assume (Score:0)
aliens are more technically advanced than us.
Because if they actually managed to show up here they would be? Seriously...and yes, there could be primitive aliens off somewhere distant, but since we're talking about an alien invasion the assumption has been made that they managed to come to us.
How aliens are more advanced (Score:2)
why do we assume aliens are more technically advanced than us.
Because they have proven to be so. For example, Japanese or Korean people, who would be aliens if on U.S. soil, are said to have access to far faster Internet connections than U.S. natives. And China already has electronics manufacturing know-how that the United States no longer has [slashdot.org].
Re:How aliens are more advanced (Score:0)
I for one welcome our collectivist-minded, alcohol metabolism impaired technologically superior overlords! After all, individualism is so overrated.
Re:why do we assume (Score:0)
why do we assume aliens are more technically advanced than us.
Because they would have got here, and we wouldn't have gone there.
Re:why do we assume (Score:2)
Re:why do we assume (Score:2)
Then it's not really the aliens attacking earth, just an asteroid falling towards it which happens to have some aliens attached.
Re:why do we assume (Score:2)
they would require knowledge of earth's future positions and very precise control of their kinetic energy and direction to "hit" earth. Somehow, they're also going to need rocket engines even if built into their body, the difference in velocity between where their "home asteroid" is and the our earth will be enormous. Muscles and jumping will not accomplish orbit matching
Re:why do we assume (Score:0)
well they build ships that could bring them to us....
or they didn't and we're looking forward to the day we can so we can go pay them a visit and be worshipped for our "magic"
Re:why do we assume (Score:2)
Re:why do we assume (Score:0)
Well, look at how many slashdot posters are taking this "aliens" thing seriously/literally.
Re:why do we assume (Score:2)
we assume that aliens who would be able to cross space are more technically advanced than us since we have not mastered that technology yet.
FTFY
jobs buys 14 million hp touchpads (Score:0)
just kidding. disarm. we're (acting like) the dreaded black hole creating 'aliens'.
Anyone want to buy some Google stock? (Score:2)
After reading that they've hired a reality TV "psychic" as their director of security, I'm suddenly feeling that it might be the right time to part ways with my investment there.
Not that I'm saying Google is easy to con or anything. I'm sure this guy's non-reality-show qualifications as a security expert are impeccable and that he's not at all a con-man shyster who has totally played a bunch of sucker-ass marks in the top ranks of Google at all.
Re:Anyone want to buy some Google stock? (Score:2)
It'd be OK if he's a Randi or Penn Teller style magician-entertainer, very bad if he's a Uri Gellar type conman. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt that they wouldn't have hired the latter kind.
Re:Anyone want to buy some Google stock? (Score:2)
It'd be OK if he's a Randi or Penn Teller style magician-entertainer, very bad if he's a Uri Gellar type conman.
Well, seeing as Uri Gellar was actually a judge on his reality show [wikipedia.org] (I kid you not), I tend to suspect the latter.
You know, it's always the MARK that I have the least respect for in a con.
Re:Anyone want to buy some Google stock? (Score:2)
"You know, it's always the MARK that I have the least respect for in a con."
that you are an idiot. anyone can be conned. I suspect its the victim you have the least respect for in a rape.
Anyways, you should ahve read that link.
Angel said "No one has the ability, that I'm aware of, to do anything supernatural, psychic, talk to the dead. And that was what I said I was going to do with Phenomenon. If somebody goes on that show and claims to have supernatural psychic ability, I'm going to bust them live and on television
A mentalist is a great person to hire for security, because they know how people think and behave. Anyways, you might want to actual read up on the man. Natural, that would involve facts and thinking, so I'm not surprised you didn't do it.
http://gawker.com/5439749/google-security-chief-by-day-tv-magician-eran-raven-by-night [gawker.com]
Re:Anyone want to buy some Google stock? (Score:2)
Angel said "No one has the ability, that I'm aware of, to do anything supernatural, psychic, talk to the dead. And that was what I said I was going to do with Phenomenon. If somebody goes on that show and claims to have supernatural psychic ability, I'm going to bust them live and on television
Criss Angel said that. And he was apparently the only non-believer on the show (or the only one who would admit to it). In fact, one of the series most famous moments was when he butted heads with one of the "psychics" on the show.
Re:Anyone want to buy some Google stock? (Score:2)
A mentalist is a great person to hire for security, because they know how people think and behave.
Plus, they're mental as anything.
Re:Anyone want to buy some Google stock? (Score:2)
I love logic as much as the next guy, but ...
Oh please. Like Randi is the bastion of objective, constructive criticism, and logical thinking. He's a pseudo skeptic at best and a closed-minded dishonest irrational rationalists at worst.
http://www.debunkingskeptics.com/Page30.htm [debunkingskeptics.com]
Re:Anyone want to buy some Google stock? (Score:0)
I love logic as much as the next guy, but ...
Oh please. Like Randi is the bastion of objective, constructive criticism, and logical thinking. He's a pseudo skeptic at best and a closed-minded dishonest irrational rationalists at worst.
http://www.debunkingskeptics.com/Page30.htm [debunkingskeptics.com]
Little bit of an axe to grind perhaps? That article is chock full of weasel words and logical fallacies, including a lengthy list of straw man arguments.
Re:Anyone want to buy some Google stock? (Score:3)
I stopped reading after this line in the first paragraph :
"...attacked the reputation of psychics and healers such as Israeli-born spoon bender Uri Geller..."
Anyone over the age of 12 who is impressed by Geller's parlor tricks is a braindead idiot. Of course they aren't beyond hope they could redeem themselves if only, oh the irony of it, they would "open their minds" to the existence of a rational explanation.
Re:Anyone want to buy some Google stock? (Score:1)
Translation: "I'm too closed-minded to actually view the _entire_ evidence and THEN make up my mind; instead I'll toss the baby out with the bathwater."
Re:Anyone want to buy some Google stock? (Score:2)
Actually, no. My mother was quite "into" astrology and other stuff so we had a lot of books and magazines on all kinds of supernatural things around. Being an avid reader I read tons of this nonsense when I was younger (including a lot on Geller, who was quite popular in the 80's.) Then in my teenage years, when X-Files was the popular thing, I read a lot about UFO's. Finally now I'm an adult and have heard both sides on all of these topics, have lived enough to have experience to throw into the mix and have decided that there's no empirical evidence for what you are talking about. One day, if you chose to truly open your mind, you'll come to the same conclusion.
Re:Anyone want to buy some Google stock? (Score:1)
> Finally now I'm an adult and have heard both sides on all of these topics, ...
That's your problem right there -- you're listening to other people, instead of
> have lived enough to have experience to throw into the mix ... coming to conclusions based on experience. Which experiences??
The only way to truely know god is to experience her/him. How can you even begin to understand god while you are still ignorant of your Higher Self ??
Re:Anyone want to buy some Google stock? (Score:2)
> Finally now I'm an adult and have heard both sides on all of these topics, ...
That's your problem right there -- you're listening to other people, instead of
No man is an island. You listen to the evidence put forth by others and you weigh it, check it for inconsistencies and flaws where you can, you add your own facts. That's science, it's the best method we have.
> have lived enough to have experience to throw into the mix ... coming to conclusions based on experience. Which experiences??
Life, all the facts you pick up along the way, all things you measure and the things you find that you can't. All the things you proved for yourself or have others prove to you and all the bullshit people try to sell you "on faith" that turns out to be worthless.
The only way to truely know god is to experience her/him. How can you even begin to understand god while you are still ignorant of your Higher Self ??
I need evidence, someone else's "revelations" won't do it for me. My own "revelations" wouldn't do it for me, they are useless without evidence. A great example of this sort of baseless, schizophrenia induced religious experience is the writer Philip K. Dick [scribd.com], he "experienced god and got in touch with his higher self." Human beings can convince themselves of the most amazing bullshit: the placebo effect, hysterical blindness, the jerusalem syndrome [publicradio.org]. All relatively benign unless they start to pull others into their madness. This [wikipedia.org] is what I want, unless you can offer me that I ain't buying.
Re:Anyone want to buy some Google stock? (Score:2)
>After reading that they've hired a reality TV "psychic" as their director of security
Right, because its so much more reasonable to believe in a 2,000 year old carpenter who came back to life, a viscious Arab warlord who spoke to god, or a Jew who split the sea.
Turns out most humans are incredibly irrational when it comes to their basic beliefs about life, history, and death.
Re:Anyone want to buy some Google stock? (Score:2)
Are you actually arguing that it's okay to believe in stupid shit just because stupid shit is popular?
I really don't think people are getting the significance here. Google has hired a TV psychic as the HEAD OF SECURITY FOR THEIR APPS DIVISION. If it were April 1st, I would think that was a joke.
What's next, Apple appointing John Edward to replace Steve Jobs when he dies (because he can still commune with him in death, presumably)?
Re:Anyone want to buy some Google stock? (Score:0)
"Is the letter 'i' connected to this man who crossed over? Because I'm getting a very strong association with the letter 'i'. And something about hating visible screw holes?"
Re:Anyone want to buy some Google stock? (Score:2)
So... (Score:2)
A magician in charge of security? Sounds reasonable. Now you see it... NOW YOU DON'T!
so... 'imagining' is a news story now ? (Score:0)
so, what exactly IS the story ? a thought experiment ? .. ..
i mean we could all imagine our tech gear was made of solid gold and we'd all be rich
or imagine if i was Natalie Portman's shoes
23retrosneaker.com (Score:-1)
Before we want to introduce the products about Michael Jordan Shoes, i think the first thing to do for us is to introduce Michael Jordan to all the people who like Air Jordan Shoes. After these 23 fans knows more about Michael Jordan, i believe they will be more interested in everything about Michael Jordan, they will be more loyal to Michael Jordan.
Michael Jeffrey Jordan (born February 17, 1963) is a former American professional basketball player, active businessman, and majority owner of the Charlotte Bobcats. His biography on the National Basketball Association (NBA) website states, "By acclamation, Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all time."[1] Jordan was one of the most effectively marketed athletes of his generation and was instrumental in popularizing the NBA around the world in the 1980s and 1990s.
Retro Jordans
Resource: http://www.23retrosneaker.com
That's a really good probing question! (Score:1)
When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth (Score:2)
Re:When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth (Score:1)
First contact? (Score:2)
"(Discussing our first contact with aliens) is a bit like iguanas on the Galapagos Islands sitting around trying to figure out how to treat the first human visitors. Should we offer them dead flies, or live flies? Shall we line up the flies in a row? How shall we defend ourselves? All of that is irrelevant."
-- Seth Shostak, SETI
Re:First contact? (Score:1)
seems quite sensible.
Re:First contact? (Score:1)
I'm disappointed that someone for SETI would say such a thing, because it is totally relevant.
If humans showed up to the Galapagos and the iguanas lined up flies in a row, tried to offer them flies, or other signed of intelligence then they would of treated them much differently then if they acted like any other non-sentient animal.
I'm not saying they would have treated them the better, just different.
Re:First contact? (Score:2)
How shall we defend ourselves? All of that is irrelevant
Not really. If you asked Amazon piranhas a few thousand years ago how they planned to defend themselves against the first human visitors, their answer would probably be "Bite them, like everything else".
Sometimes simple solutions work the best.
What would happen? (Score:1)
Well, I imagine many companies could save a decent chunk of money every year by not having to put "Contains fairydust known to the state of California to cause cancer."
The "Larger interview" reads like an ad (Score:1)
And if developers turned "rogue" ? (Score:0)
Like for example all the developers who started complaining about not getting paid by Google and not getting any kind of response from Google by e-mail ?
Then Google locks down the forum [google.com] and developers can kiss their ass or something.
I'd worry more about Google than alien oppression to be honest.
Mutual Assured Distruction. (Score:2)
No biggie. According to a machine on the DOD network a nuclear missile is pointed at the Google campus.
Just don't forget your password. (Score:0)
Then you're really fucked.
John Connor must be sad with this news (Score:0)
He finnaly knows why the skynet is so hard to be destroyed