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Nike to Unveil Self Lacing Shoes? 281

Posted by samzenpus
from the where-we're-going-we-don't-need-laces dept.
xTK-421x writes "Looks like Nike is announcing tonight (8:30PM PST) that they've finally been able to create the self lacing shoes from Back to the Future 2. TechCrunch reported on receiving an invitation to a Nike event taking place in Los Angeles today, where Nike would announce the release of the Air Mags, the self-lacing shoes that first made their appearance in Back to the Future II."

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Nike to Unveil Self Lacing Shoes?

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  • cheaper... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Hazel Bergeron (2015538) on Thursday September 08, 2011 @12:51PM (#37341668) Journal

    It would be cheaper to hire sweatshop labourers to follow you around and tie your shoes as necessary.

    • by mobby_6kl (668092)

      It certainly would, but then it wouldn't be BTTF-cool, would it?

    • by h4rr4r (612664)

      Even at $1 a day it seems like it be cheaper to buy the shoes. How little are you paying these shoe-tiers of yours?

      • Even at $1 a day it seems like it be cheaper to buy the shoes. How little are you paying these shoe-tiers of yours?

        Well according to Sally Struthers they would be able to feed themselves on just 35% of that a day.

      • Even at $1 a day it seems like it be cheaper to buy the shoes. How little are you paying these shoe-tiers of yours?

        Woooosh! ............ .. oops, sorry, my jacket told me to push the button. I'm all dry now.

        • by pluther (647209)

          Woooosh! ............ .. oops, sorry, my jacket told me to push the button. I'm all dry now.

          Shouldn't that be "Swoooosh!"?

    • by jdgeorge (18767)

      Funny, but... no. There are a number of cheap solutions for this, such as this one [y-ties.com]. I wonder what Nike has in store.

    • by Meski (774546)
      I thought the untied look was 'in' (along with tripping over them and breaking your nose, but if you want to be a slave to fashion, go right ahead)
  • 2015 is right around the corner. Pepsi Throwback should have been named Pepsi Perfect.
    • by bstory (89087) on Thursday September 08, 2011 @12:57PM (#37341760) Homepage

      Looking forward to the Cubs winning the World Series too.

      • by elrous0 (869638) *

        You would have a better chance of picking up a Mr. Fusion at Walmart.

        • [ You would have a better chance of picking up a Mr. Fusion at Walmart. ]

          Any cheap appliance from Wal-Mart, ok all applicances are now made in China, will eventually they will catch fire releasing energy as their electronics and plastic burn in a breif flash producing *some* power ibnthe form of thermal energy.....

    • [ 2015 is right around the corner. Pepsi Throwback should have been named Pepsi Perfect. ]

      That would require the Pepsi execs to basically admit that regular Pepsi wasn't "perfect" already. Notice how they call it "Pepsi Throwback" as the Term "Throwback" is generally reguarded as a negative one.

      All it would take is a label change, but Pepsi probably won't do it.

  • Forget the shoes (Score:5, Insightful)

    by milbournosphere (1273186) on Thursday September 08, 2011 @12:56PM (#37341746)
    Where's my hoverboard?
    • by jeffmeden (135043) on Thursday September 08, 2011 @01:04PM (#37341852) Homepage Journal

      I had the same thought: you watched Back to the Future (any of them) and your take-away was "gee, shoes that tie themselves sure would be nice"? You better be working on a Mr Fusion, flux capacitor, hoverboard, hovercar, hovertrain, and last but not least a 1.21GW lightning inductor (one good storm could power most of the USA).

      • by leonbev (111395)

        Hell... I would have been happy with just the dust resistant paper and the food dehydrator that they made the pizza with.

    • Re:Forget the shoes (Score:5, Interesting)

      by TeknoHog (164938) on Thursday September 08, 2011 @02:12PM (#37342948) Homepage Journal
      I did my master's thesis [iki.fi] on the theoretical basis of hoverboards. The conclusion is that they are not feasible in practice, unless you have insane amouts of electric power to carry around, and don't mind hovering over a ball lightning.
      • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday September 08, 2011 @02:22PM (#37343126)

        Is it just me or does having to hover over a ball of lightning make the hoverboards seem even more awesome?

      • and don't mind hovering over a ball lightning.

        Why would I mind hovering over a ball of lightning? You just made the concept 1,000% cooler!

      • by Torodung (31985)

        Hey. If I'm hovering on a plank of wood? I don't mind hovering over a ball of lightning in a Faraday cage grade suit of chain mail.

      • by Amouth (879122)

        I've never ever heard of people complaining about having ball lighting.

  • Ok, so we have the self lacing shoes, but I won't be happy until I can buy my very own hoverboard. Wheels are for lamers.
  • Like these? [youtube.com]

  • ... then we can probably expect the hoverboard will be made by Sony. Which will then need a memorystick in order to use - but only after you register it through your PS4. Anyone caught using a non-hovering board on any surface afterwards will be subsequently sued for patent infringement.
  • by Nidi62 (1525137) on Thursday September 08, 2011 @01:12PM (#37341978)
    I dont care about the self-tying shoes. I wouldnt even be all that disappointed if they didnt make a hoverboard. But I pray that no one is trying to make the hideous jacket with the 4-ft long accordion sleeve. If anyone tries, they should be shot on sight.
  • So this is the last generation that will know how to tie even basic knots.
    *sigh*

    • and the last to think.

      Anything that requires thought will done using the internet.
      When we die the internet will need fags* to fix them.

      *If you have seen Idiocracy you won't be offended.
      For those that haven't: http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=Idiocracy+fags [yahoo.com]

      • and the last to think.

        From what I see on a daily basis, you're a reject today if you still engage in any of that razzamatazz-sparking process called (ewwwww) thought. :)

    • by tunapez (1161697)
      The dumber and less self-reliant, the better for profit! Gullibility is just icing on the cake.
    • My wife and I have been extraordinarily disappointed to hear other parents admitting that their children (through third grade) don't know how to tie shoes, simply because the kids have never been given anything but slip-ons and velcro-type shoes of various kinds. A few parents have admitted that they almost never wear anything but crocs and flip-flops. Yeesh.

      • by pluther (647209)
        Why?

        Times change, technology changes, and skills change.

        My ten-year-old nephew can't tell time on an analog clock, either.

        I don't know how to use a slide rule.

        My father doesn't know how to make an obsidian hand-axe.

        • Why?

          Times change, technology changes, and skills change.

          My ten-year-old nephew can't tell time on an analog clock, either.

          So my 3 year old can tell time on an analog clock, sounds like your nephew might be a bit slow.

          I don't know how to use a slide rule.

          These were ancient when I was in school but I was curious and managed to figure it out without much difficulty on my own. Also I am proficient with the old style vernier calipers [wikipedia.org]

          My father doesn't know how to make an obsidian hand-axe.

          Again I know how to do this. I actually learned it in boy scouts as part of some merit badge (it was one of the few Native American themed ones) and flint-knapping [wikipedia.org] was part of the requirements to get it.

          • by Whorhay (1319089)

            Except that making a hachet or ax from flint or obsidian would be completely foolish. The material is too fragile and would self destruct rapidly when put into use. It's much more valuable for making spear and arrow points. For an ax you'd want a fairly flat river stone that you'd grind an edge on. Which would explain why native americans weren't inclined to do a lot of clear cutting. Metal implements like ax heads and knives were very valuable comodoties when the europeans showed up with them.

          • So my 3 year old can tell time on an analog clock, sounds like your nephew might be a bit slow.

            Not necessarily. I am certainly not slow but I do have my difficulties reading analog clocks, and I am in my thirties. I just never bothered to learn it - I didn't care much about time until I was twenty and by then I had a cell phone.

      • by nedlohs (1335013) on Thursday September 08, 2011 @02:42PM (#37343386)

        Dear God, you'll be almost suicidal when you find out they don't know how milk cows or make butter or even such trivial things as weaving wool.

      • My wife and I have been extraordinarily disappointed to hear other parents admitting that their children (through third grade) don't know how to tie shoes, simply because the kids have never been given anything but slip-ons and velcro-type shoes of various kinds. A few parents have admitted that they almost never wear anything but crocs and flip-flops. Yeesh.

        And what's wrong with that? Until you need hiking shoes or lace-up dress shoes, why not wear slip-ons? I do for dress purposes all the time. Are you also averse to parents whose children only know how to wear sandals?

        • by hiryuu (125210)

          And what's wrong with that? Until you need hiking shoes or lace-up dress shoes, why not wear slip-ons? I do for dress purposes all the time. Are you also averse to parents whose children only know how to wear sandals?

          While my post was not intended as either a Luddite screed (I certainly don't bemoan technology changing) nor as a judgement on the parents of kids who don't know how to tie, it seems to have been taken that way. Replying to yours as it's one of the more coherent and less defensive ones. :)

          Most

      • by sootman (158191)

        To the millions of people who will reply and say "so what?" I'd like to point out that learning to tie one's shoes is a good exercise in fine motor skills. That said, I agree that Velcro is easier to use.

        In related (the times they are a-changin') news, I personally know two kids under 10 who have gotten into a car and asked "What's that?" while pointing at the window crank. :-)

    • by Anomalyst (742352)
      Never fear, geek children will be trained to tie JAVA and LISP knots.
    • So this is the last generation that will know how to tie even basic knots.

      The Boy Scouts will continue to develop some young men while the rest learn their life skills from XBox.

      • by Bob the Super Hamste (1152367) on Thursday September 08, 2011 @03:09PM (#37343734) Homepage
        Beat me to it. Rope skills are still useful but it seems many have no idea what one would do with rope other than tie things together. I have friends who have had the sliders break on the end of the rope on their tent and not know what to do. The funniest rope story I have was when I went to the hardware store to purchase some rope pulleys and hooks so I could construct a block and tackle to pull an engine and transmission out of a vehicle. I went and asked the high school clerk where the stuff for a block and tackle was and I got a perplexed look. I then asked where the rope and pulleys were and he showed me to the isle. I then got what I needed and was asked by the clerk what I was going to be doing with all of that and when I told him he didn't believe me that it was possible that one would be able to rig up something using a few pulleys, rope, and hooks that would allow someone to lift an engine and transmission out of a car with one arm.
    • So this is the last generation that will know how to tie even basic knots. *sigh*

      One would assume everyone isn't going to stop rock climbing, sailing, boating, joining the Boy Scouts, tying Christmas trees to their car roofs, and having kinky sex all at once. WTF would they do on the weekends?

  • by reverseengineer (580922) on Thursday September 08, 2011 @01:19PM (#37342072)
    Acknowledging that there's still a few years to check some of these off...
    Self-lacing sneakers? YES
    Mr. Fusion? SADLY, NO
    Hoverboards? NO
    1980s nostalgia? SOME (and I'm sure someone has opened a Cafe '80s somewhere)
    Flying cars? NO (nothing practical, anyways)
    Video calls? YES (though not quite as depicted, and what was with all those fax machines?)
    Video games without controllers? YES
    Flat panel screens? YES
    Chicago Cubs, World Series Champs? OH HELL NO
    • Note: I suppose the Cubs have won some World Series in the past, and therefore already qualify as champs. Once these things get past a century, it's easy to forget they happened.
    • by tunapez (1161697)

      1980s nostalgia? SOME (and I'm sure someone has opened a Cafe '80s somewhere)

      My buddy's 16yo daughter has big Go-Go's hair and was listening to Cindy Lauper a few weeks ago. I shuddered.

    • Biometric door locks? YES
      Large-scale projected holograms? NO
      HUD glasses for driving? NO
      Weather control? NO
      Dehydrated pizza? NO
      Technological police state with instant conviction for crimes? WORKING ON IT
    • you forgot bundles of compacted compact disks littering the alleyways. = close enough

    • by sootman (158191)

      Funny, I've had the idea to make a site like that for a long time--to make a scorecard of movies from the past that depicted the future, once we got past that date. (See also the book "Yesterday's Tomorrows")

      The two that immediately spring to mind are "Back to the Future 2" (made in 1985, set in 2015) and "2001" (1968 -> 2001). Also included would be "2010" (made in 1984), "Terminator 2" (made in 1991; Judgement Day was supposed to be in 1997), and "Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man" (made in 1991, se

      • by Jeng (926980)

        Wow, you mention "Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man" yet totally forgot about "Demolition Man"?

    • In Chicago, there's a great hipster coffeeshop called The Wormhole [thewormhole.us] (warning, the website sucks). It features all sorts of great '80s memorabilia like plastic lunchboxes, Goonies posters, Star Wars action figures, etc etc. But the absolute best feature is a real life, honest-to-goodness DeLorean, complete with a food processor glued to the back and dressed up to look like Mr. Fusion, and a California license plate that reads "OUTATIME".

      So yeah, there's plenty of 80s nostalgia out there, if you're willing t
  • Didn't velcro make laced shoes already obsolete?

    And trying to feed 1.21GW through the rear wheels of a Delorean would almost ce4rtainly leave two burning lines of rubber, but no time travel.

  • by kungfugleek (1314949) on Thursday September 08, 2011 @01:21PM (#37342100)
    The lace is a tie.
  • Okay, self lacing shoes are stupid by definition. Laces are cheap, relatively easy, and far more reliable than an electronic version. The shoes in BTTF are power and electronic driven. I could go around buying batteries and replacement shoes every time they break down, or I could just buy a pair of regular sneakers and be happy. Laces tying in most cultures is a child's rite of passage and everyone knows how to do it these days.

    In order to be interesting, first I believe you have to have a mechanical me

    • It's not on your lawn. It's just over it.
    • Shoes like this should not require batteries... a simple capacitor array driven by a small heel-pad dynamo should do the trick just fine. You could even add other electronics to the shoes, such as Nike's Bluetooth motion sensor and a WiFi repeater. Hey... why not add in a solid state wireless NAS as well?

  • Well, it's an interesting idea.

    I'll make you a deal, Nike....

    I'll buy those shoes when you (or someone else) comes up with an 80s-style vest that blow-dries itself after contact with water.

    Build one that dries my hair on the way to work (in my car that flies and navigates itself) and I'll pay you an extra $100 for those spiffy shoes. Well, given inflation, I mean $10,000.

    I'll sue you for $100,000,000,000 when I lie in a hospital bed suffering from freakin' laziness and over-exerted 80s-coolness attempts. :

  • How fucking lazy have Americans gotten that they can't even tie their own fucking shoes?
    • by PPH (736903)
      They can''t see them any more.
    • by Jeng (926980)

      You really are a wanker, seriously who the fuck said this was a product specifically aimed at Americans?

      Nike is a multinational corporation, they are going to try to sell this to everyone.

      How fucking lazy are Brits that they can't even brush their own teeth? Sounds dumb don't it? Just as dumb as what you said.

  • GREAT SCOTT!
  • AI in Shoes (Score:4, Funny)

    by jameskojiro (705701) on Thursday September 08, 2011 @03:26PM (#37343968) Journal

    Lister: Sometimes, I think it's cruel giving machines a personality. My mate Petersen once bought a pair of shoes with Artificial Intelligence. 'Smart Shoes' they were called. It was a neat idea. No matter how blind drunk you were, they could always get you home. But he got rattled one night in Oslo and woke up the next morning in Burma. You see, his shoes got bored going from his local to his flat. They wanted to see the world, you know. He had a hell of a job getting rid of them. No matter who he sold them to, they'd show up again the next day. He tried to shut them out, but they just kicked the door down.
    Rimmer: Is this true?
    Lister: Yeah. The last thing I heard, they sort of... robbed a car and drove it into a canal. They couldn't steer, you see.
    Rimmer: Really?
    Lister: Yeah. Petersen was really, really blown away about it. He went to see a priest. The priest told him... he said it was alright and all that, when shoes are happy that they'd get into heaven. You see, it turns out shoes have 'soles'.
    Rimmer: Ah, what a sad story. Wait a minute.
    [Thinks for a minute]
    Rimmer: How did they open the car door?

  • What? This is 4 years early: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096874/ [imdb.com]
    Do you realize what this could do to the space time continuum?!
    Oh wait, there's nothing to prove they didn't exist before 2015...

"There is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress." -- Mark Twain

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