Walmart Holds Invention Contest 91
An anonymous reader writes "Walmart is holding the inventor's equivalent to 'American Idol' calling for product submissions that will be offered for sale in Walmart stores. Feel that the back scratcher you received a patent for hasn't garnered the attention it deserves? This could be your big chance at fame and fortune."
Re:FR1ST PS0T (Score:4, Funny)
7/10
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I'm going to have to dock points for a few more things. (1) No "gansta" spelling. (2) No extra punctuation (11!1!11!!) (3) Proper use of the comma.
Really, pretty weak.
Recommendation: The poster should spend some remedial time at 4chan.
Finally! (Score:5, Funny)
Huh ?! (Score:2)
Clicked that link, saw that pic but still, I don't get it.
How are you gonna handle that roll of soiled toilet paper?
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Don't forget the song [youtube.com]!
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Making people pedal backwards is da shit.
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And as soon as you win, you'll be forced to find a manufacturer in China to make it, no matter how much you want to make it in the United States.
The prize... (Score:1)
A lobotomy and shopping spree at...you guessed it!!! Walmart.
Re:The prize... (Score:5, Funny)
Yep, and given that it is WalMart, the winning entry will be...
A coffee table shaped like a car from nascar, which only holds the cheapest, nastiest bears (destroying all others) and has a built in remote that automatically switches the TV to nascar or wrestling and maxes the volume.
Re:The prize... (Score:5, Funny)
Yep, and given that it is WalMart, the winning entry will be...
A coffee table shaped like a car from nascar, which only holds the cheapest, nastiest bears (destroying all others) and has a built in remote that automatically switches the TV to nascar or wrestling and maxes the volume.
Hey, a bear destroying coffee table would be awesome. I'd put it in the middle of the bear pit at the local zoo. I'm not too sure what I should imagine when you talk about the "cheapest" nastiest bears. I didn't really know nasty bears came in cheap and expensive variations. Do the more expensive ones not hibernate or something? Maybe it's longer claws.
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Ghaaa. I am the typo king. I meant "beer"
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Ghaaa. I am the typo king.
That's what you get for eating Klingon food!
But actually, considering we're talking about rednecks, "Hay, thar, darlin, get me a bear" is no typo. Maybe you should have another serving of Ghaaa? (actually I think Ghaaa isn't spelled quite like that).
I got a humorus birthday card last year, a redneck translator. One was Rat -- example: "It's rat past the bait shop!"
Jim Morrison: "I am the typo king. I can misspell anything!"
The white trash polar bear perhaps? (Score:1)
Or (if I didn't want to be torn limb to limb, the black ghetto bear? Meanwhile the asian honey bear is taking all the jobs and education out of the US of A...
Some say the best defence against the cheapest nastiest bears is a desert eagle. I don't see it, you are being charged by trailer trash bears, how is having a large angry bird on your arm going to help? Now some kind of big hand gun. That would be useful. Although how you load a gun with bear(s you) shot without first shooting some bears I just don't g
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Hey, a bear destroying coffee table would be awesome.
Yeah, but does Colbert even shop at Walmart?
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I think you have to be Canadian to know what a cheap and nasty bear is. Be sure to avoid the pimp.
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* beers, not bears.
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Well, now, look, y'all city slickers, don't yew know how ta talk? I went ta that thar s'loon and drank six o' them bears next ta the winder, an' almos' got a buzz!
Um, where are all those young people who want to change written language so words are spelled like they sound to defend this poor guy's typo?
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to be honest, a coffee table that destroys bears would be pretty awesome!
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I bought one of those last month. Looks great in my basement cave at my mom's house.
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I'm betting on a wireless taser system for zapping their wage slaves remotely, with a motion sensor that detects when they're not moving for more than a few minutes, a microphone for listening in and a camera.
The whole thing will be fashioned to look like a big smiley face button.
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Problem is, it's not the executives or management, but those same wage slaves, that tend to shop there.
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It's the company script model, scaled up.
Keep 'em poor so they need the Walmart prices to be able to buy stuff, so they buy en masse at Walmart... it's a vicious circle.
Note that I've nothing against leveraging the economy of scale. I do have a problem with a corporation that treats it's employees like pondscum and that acts as a pipeline of US wealth to China. In this day and age of too many people and not enough resources, it may be that we need to have the efficiency of the mega-box stores. But the av
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And the prize will be a shit job with poor benefits. Look around at what Walmart does for people and you'll realize the only way to win this contest is not to enter in the first place.
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Yep, and given that it is WalMart, the winning entry will be...
A coffee table shaped like a car from nascar, which only holds the cheapest, nastiest bears (destroying all others) and has a built in remote that automatically switches the TV to nascar or wrestling and maxes the volume.
The coffee table should be able to fold out into a wrestling ring. You then can use the included luchador masks to have your toddler elbow drop your chihuahua/rotteweiler/pitbull mutt. Fun for the whole family!
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And is built in China!
Fine Print... (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Fine Print... (Score:4, Informative)
So what. (Score:2)
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The issue with a product idea (I have one)
A product idea, or an issue with a product idea? Unless you've got a lot of backing to get you through the production and sales gauntlets, you'd make more money per hour reciting "you want fries with that?" through a greasy microphone for the next 10 years, than attempting to push even the best of product ideas out to market over the same time frame.
Re:Fine Print... (Score:5, Insightful)
Wal-Mart is a historically very dangerous partner, especially for small companies. Their high volume and low pricing come at the cost of any slack for their partners, who wind up on a treadmill of lowering per unit costs, and wind up "making up in volume what they lose on every sale". I've seen several smaller companies with products sold there start out very excited, but go very bankrupt within 5 years because they can't keep the prices down low enough to match Wal-Mart's demands without firing the staff who came up with the product.
It's a very dangerous tiger to grab the tail of for a small business, especially a small patent holder. If the patent will help pad your resume, I could see it, but don't rely on Wal-Mart to help you make money with it.
Re:Fine Print... (Score:5, Interesting)
Yep. Everyone should read:
http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/102/open_snapper.html [fastcompany.com]
Or look up the history of what happened to the Etch-a-Sketch:
http://www.peoplesworld.org/etch-a-sketch-and-the-wal-mart-phenomenon/ [peoplesworld.org]
William
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You missed nearly bankrupting Vlassic as well
http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/77/walmart.html [fastcompany.com]
The TL;DR version of all these articles is basically that Walmart demands suppliers hit a price point ("We'll pay you $x for each one"). Great if you can hit it, but if you can't, you have to do
Re:Fine Print... (Score:4, Insightful)
You do have the right to refuse such deals, you know. You can always tell Wal-Mart, "Sorry. We can't hit that price point without compromising quality, and we won't do that."
Wal-Mart might decide to drop your product, or they might not. If they don't, you've won. If they do, you can tell the world (on your website) that your products are no longer sold at Wal-Mart because they tried to force you to compromise on quality, and you said, "No". Then provide a list of alternative retailers that do carry your product. By so doing, you turn lost sales into increased customer loyalty.
Wal-Mart only screws businesses who are so desperate for Wal-Mart to carry their products that they will compromise their integrity just to stay on their shelves. If you ask me, the fault lies equally with both parties. Just saying.
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Wal-Mart is a historically very dangerous partner, especially for small companies. Their high volume and low pricing come at the cost of any slack for their partners, who wind up on a treadmill of lowering per unit costs, and wind up "making up in volume what they lose on every sale". I've seen several smaller companies with products sold there start out very excited, but go very bankrupt within 5 years because they can't keep the prices down low enough to match Wal-Mart's demands without firing the staff who came up with the product.
It's a very dangerous tiger to grab the tail of for a small business, especially a small patent holder. If the patent will help pad your resume, I could see it, but don't rely on Wal-Mart to help you make money with it.
Or, just take this for what it is, a fun come-on that might feel like a lottery win for some schmo with a better beer holder who wouldn't otherwise be able to do anything with his idea. If you've got a valid going concern of a business, this contest is probably not for you. If, on the other hand, you're a typical WalMart shopper, this could be very much like American Idol for otherwise hopeless inventors.
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the chance to SELL your product on Wal-Mart's shelves
Incase anybody doesn't know: this ^^^ can be worth more than your weight in pure Platinum.
I was sort-of nearby when BreatheRight [breatheright.com] did their launch. More important than NFL players wearing them on camera was the shelf space in the drug stores, they didn't say what all it took to get that shelf space, but it was implied that there were blood sacrifices...
Here are the unacceptable terms. (Score:2, Informative)
As conditions of Contest entry, you acknowledge and agree that: (a) Sponsor and other participants and members of the general public have access to and/or may create materials, ideas and concepts which may be similar or identical to your Entry, ideas and/or concepts; (b) you will not be entitled to any compensation or other consideration because of the use by Sponsor or any other participant of such similar or identical material, ideas and/or concepts; and (c) Sponsor's or other participant's use of materia
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you warrant and represent that ... your Entry does not infringe upon the copyrights, trademarks, rights of privacy, publicity or other intellectual property or other rights of any person or entity
Oh... so that's it. I knew there must be some catch. They don't want to actually own your entry, because when someone comes a-suing they'll just point him in your general direction and say "his invention, we're just selling it".
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Actually they want to make sure that there aren't any encumbrances on the concept/idea that you signed over to them. This way they are free to use any part of your idea without fear of legal liability from a third party. If it's found that there is a third party claim to your idea, then I'm sure this phrasing allows Walmart and their sponsors to seek compensation for any legal fees.
IANAL but if you are thinking of entering this contest you may want to get you one.
Free Research for them at your expense. (Score:4, Insightful)
While it might sound altruistic, it isn't.
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Nothing with WalMart *ever* looks altruistic. They are all about finding every way to shovel cost on to other people. I'd hate to see what would happen when they run out too much competition on a large scale instead of just locally - I suspect their prices will go through the roof.
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I'd rather sell my soul... (Score:2, Flamebait)
Cheaper than cheap (Score:4, Informative)
So essentially, they buy the stuff they sell from China because it's super-cheap, and now they're trying to get people to give them product ideas because designers and engineers are too expensive, to save on the cost of product development.
No way I'm giving the cheap bastards any of my brainpower so they can make even more profit.
(Mind you, that's exactly what Google does too...)
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So essentially, they buy the stuff they sell from China because it's super-cheap, and now they're trying to get people to give them product ideas because designers and engineers are too expensive, to save on the cost of product development.
No way I'm giving the cheap bastards any of my brainpower so they can make even more profit.
(Mind you, that's exactly what Google does too...)
You left out one step ... Profit
You've got Wal-Mart's business model in a nutshell - push as much of the cost onto the supple as possible - and run a logistic system that is ruthlessly efficient. Wal-Mart is a logistics company that happens to have stores at one end of the chain.
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supply chain analyzer (Score:5, Insightful)
i propose to design a machine that when pointed at an object in a retail environment, will search a database and present to the user an interactive presentation about all the points on the supply chain that led to the object's existence on that retail shelf.
for example, the overnight wal-mart stockers with no health insurance, the long haul truckers who are continually pushed by managers to drive further with less sleep, the docks where TSA irradiates everything, the chinese factory where the manager rapes the workers on a regular basis, the government run prison mines that provide input to the factory, etc etc etc.
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Good thing there's nothing to stop you from patenting a non-working idea though!
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Half-way there already. We know the conditions at Wal-Mart, so auto-fill those for every item on the shelf there. Then you just need information on the foreign suppliers, since you can assume the domestic ones are minimum wage, no health insurance. And many of those foreign stories are already out there. Since there is a manufacturer code in the UPC, you only need to fill information for a small subset of items, and carry over the info to the items with the same mfr code.
http://www.upcdatabase.com/ [upcdatabase.com]
It's
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Hush, don't confuse the zealots with facts.
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So glad Walmart Canada is the absolute opposite:
- overnight wal-mart stockers with no health insurance
When Walmart came to Canada they specifically advertised their health benefits to attract workers.
- the long haul truckers who are continually pushed by managers to drive further with less sleep
Illegal. If Walmart did this they would be put out of business immediately. And I mean it. Hell, truckers here can't even SMOKE in their trucks anymore.
- the docks where TSA irradiates ever
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Canadians are twisted in that they see this as a good thing. Freedom is slavery. And Wal-Mart employment isn't, since you don't have to work there. Please don't try to diminish the meaning of actual slavery with this kind of hyperbole.
Is Wal-Mart a war zone? Please don't post again, you ignoramus.
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I'd rather just have a smart-phone app that images shelf-tags, uploads them to a database, and simultaneously checks that database to tell me if the store I'm standing in is screwing me on the price of the item I'm about to pick up. If a competitor on (or near) my regular travel routes (also automatically learned by the app) has the exact same (or equivalent) item for a significantly better price, the app beeps and informs me of it, otherwise it just silently collects data and shares it with other users of
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Yes, but know what you're getting into (Score:3)
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Sad story for the rural Kentucky factory workers, I'd bet the guy did alright in the deal, though - probably alright enough that he could give his ex-factory workers a couple hundred bucks a month each, if he wanted to.
The small print (Score:4, Informative)
"Each demonstration should begin with the phrase "Stand back if you know what's good for ya" or "Hold my beer and watch this!""
Augmented reality device to turn $99.99 into $100 (Score:2)
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but how will I ever figure out sales tax then?
I miss billy mays he did this for people without t (Score:2)
I miss billy mays he did this for people without the evil walmart.
Hay walmart hear a idea drop this give your workers real health care.
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Here's the benefits page (you can go to Walmart.com and click on Careers, store, and Benefits)
http://walmartstores.com/Careers/7750.aspx [walmartstores.com]
It's a lot better than I expected. And Billy Mays was a spokesperson for a large business which has incredible markups and added shipping fees, so you can cut out the middleman and give twice the profit to a different company.
There was already an American Idol for inventors (Score:2)
I was trying to think of that show's name! (Score:2)
It should be re-done but showing patent trolls attacking contestents products. Call it American Troll!
American Idol'-like contest for new products (Score:1)
The question is .... (Score:2)
How about... (Score:2)
I give my ideas to Wal-mart for a one-time prize and they rake in money year after year on its sale? Go blow that smoke up your consumers' collective butts.