Man Orders TV On Amazon, Gets Shipped Assault Rifle 666
First time accepted submitter InfernoApple writes "Seth Horvitz, a Northeast D.C. resident, thought he had ordered a new high-definition television a few days ago through Amazon.com from a third-party merchant. When the package arrived yesterday, however, Horvitz opened the oddly shaped box to find something completely different. Instead of the flat-panel TV he had bought to enjoy with his wife, who is pregnant, Horvitz opened the long packaging to discover a Sig Sauer SIG716, a high-caliber, semi-automatic assault rifle capable of mowing down, well, just about anything."
Sounds like win-win to me! (Score:5, Funny)
Oblig. (Score:5, Funny)
Instead of TV package contained high-powered assault rifle. [xkcd.com]
Would not buy again.
No Maam (Score:5, Funny)
It's just a misunderstanding, officer. I ordered an issue of Big'uns!
His bumper sticker (Score:5, Funny)
Interesting (Score:4, Funny)
Sweet! (Score:5, Funny)
Somewhere, deep in the desert, a hidden meth lab got a nice new TV.
Re:So... (Score:5, Funny)
Dear Secret Service, I do not know the above poster. We just hang out here.
Re:Pregnant? (Score:5, Funny)
A pregnant woman is less likely to have fun with an assault rifle
Re:Pregnant? (Score:5, Funny)
We should BAN ASSULT TV's (Score:3, Funny)
^^^
Meanwhile, in Texas... (Score:4, Funny)
A border patrol vigilante is busy trying to figure out how to load a magazine clip into his assault rifle flatscreen.
Re:Interesting (Score:5, Funny)
Re:So... (Score:5, Funny)
Just one vote.
Wat (Score:5, Funny)
Is that article originally from the Onion?
Geez, they're just lucky that they're still alive. That very big gun, capable of mowing down, well...just about anything, could have leapt out that box and killed her unborn child!
I mean, unloaded guns, still in packaging, have killed untold numbers of unsuspecting hipsters.
Re:Sounds like win-win to me! (Score:5, Funny)
Besides, if someone gives you a rifle and you can't get yourself a brand new TV on your own, maybe you don't deserve one.
Re:Interesting (Score:4, Funny)
of course you couldnt find anything under SIG716. They have it hidden as a "TV" , but onl as a secret for those in the know. When you look into the specs for the tv, and it doesnt have HDMI and optical outs, but instead has specs like these, beware... it probably isnt a TV.
Caliber 7.62 X 51 mm NATO
Overall Length 37.4 in
Trigger Type MIL-SPEC
Trigger Weight 7.6 lbs
Barrel Length 16.0 in
Rifling 1 in 10"
Number of grooves 6
Weight w/out Mag 9.3 lbs
Mag Capacity 20 Rounds
Mag Type Magpul PMAG
Accessory Rail Yes
Features Short stroke pushrod operating system with 4 position gas valve
Re:Pregnant? (Score:5, Funny)
Frail? Hell! I was scared shitless every time my pregnant wife picked up scissors. Anything sharper than a butter knife was an excuse to go to the store.
An assault rifle in the house would have meant waking up to a loud bang in the middle of the night and bloody "can I sleep on your face" cat entrails blasted across the room. If I was lucky.
Re:Pregnant? (Score:4, Funny)
A pregnant woman is less likely to have fun with an assault rifle
Not necessarily true.
A pregnant woman obviously likes to bang.
Thanks, I'll be here all week.
Please tip the burgers, and try the waitresses.
Strat
Re:Top ten Obama lies about Romney (Score:4, Funny)
What does a Canadian band have to do with Obama and Romney?
Amazon Review: Some Big Screen HDTV (Score:3, Funny)
The bass was really loud; I thought I blew the speakers, but when I tried again, it was still as loud. It was at that point that I noticed the large, gaping holes in my wall. Within a few minutes, police had arrived at my house, to ask if anything was wrong. I informed them that my television was malfunctioning, and they seemed to decide I was a lunatic and drove away. When I tried to RMA it, the man on the other end of the support line laughed at me and hung up.
Would not buy again.
Re:really??? (Score:1, Funny)
No sig is a good sig
Isn't that what the "gun grabbers" say? :-)
Re:Sounds like win-win to me! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Top ten Obama lies about Romney (Score:1, Funny)
He didn't pass the background check (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Pregnant? (Score:4, Funny)
A pregnant woman is less likely to have fun with an assault rifle
Depends on which way her mood swings.
Re:Sounds like win-win to me! (Score:5, Funny)
But in DC it is illegal and near impossible to get one. And he did....
No sir, we don't have assault rifles here, try the TV Department.
Re:Sounds like win-win to me! (Score:5, Funny)
Here is the Journalists' Guide to Assault Weapons... Pretty informative. (SFW)
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7gxz7lCn41qm1o5to1_500.jpg