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10 Wearable Habitats To Shelter You From the Apocalypse 135

Posted by samzenpus
from the tucking-in-for-the-night dept.
fangmcgee writes "The end may not be nigh, but with vicious storms, severe flooding, and rising temperatures becoming the new normal, the apocalypse might be closer than we think. In the case of a cataclysmic event that could displace thousands, if not millions, of people, the availability of emergency shelter becomes a pressing concern. Here are 10 'wearable shelters' that serve as protective all-weather garments in the day and insulating dwellings at night."
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10 Wearable Habitats To Shelter You From the Apocalypse

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  • by Freshly Exhumed (105597) on Monday August 05, 2013 @01:34PM (#44479447) Homepage

    All one needs is a towel.

    • by ColdWetDog (752185) on Monday August 05, 2013 @01:51PM (#44479625) Homepage

      All one needs is a towel.

      That isn't entirely correct. One of the big issues I have with Mr. Adams is that he totally ignored WD40 and Duct tape. I don't care if he thinks he knows the answer to everything, your travel bag is not complete without those two essentials.

      • by Noughmad (1044096) <miha.cancula@gmail.com> on Monday August 05, 2013 @02:13PM (#44479807) Homepage

        That may be true. However,

        More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost." What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

        To summarize, if you know where you towel is, other people will lend you WD40, duct tape, cats and toast with butter. That should be enough for any apocalypse.

      • For the most part a towel is more handy.
        However if you go bare bones, I would suggest a good quality Pocket knife (no extra stuff just the knife).
        A towel is a nice extra.
        WD-40 for the wilderness isn't that much use, for the most part you will want more friction not less.
        Duct tape, has a limited use time until your roll runs out. A knife you can use over and over again, sharpen it on a stone and keep going.
        You can strip bark and make rope, which can allow you to tie the knife at the end of a stick to make a

        • Or simply cut yourself in it, lay down and die of thirst/starvation, if you're the average city dweller.

        • For the most part a towel is more handy.

          Once a towel gets wet, it starts to smell funny. Apocalyptic survivors want to smell fresh and clean.

          WD-40 for the wilderness isn't that much use, for the most part you will want more friction not less.

          Speak for yourself, brother... You're forgetting the 1000s of other uses - fire starter, mosquito repellent, zombie repellant, bear repellant. The list goes on and on. Just because you're in the wilderness, doesn't mean that you can just ignore civilization.

          Duct tape, has a limited use time until your roll runs out.

          Again, such a failure of imagination. You can build a house, a dress, a condom (well, that might be a stretch). Fix a car / boat / airplane / bicyc

      • by g0bshiTe (596213) on Monday August 05, 2013 @02:40PM (#44480047)
        Strange, add WD40 + duct tape + towel and you get 42.
        • by Evtim (1022085)

          Hey, how did he arrive at that number? Just sounds good? Maybe. The only significant 42 connected to our planet that I could find is the time [in minutes; and the number not exactly 42] needed to travel through Earth if there was a vacuum tube going through the center and you rely only on gravity to travel. Also, due to the nature of gravity any other tunnel that is not through the center will take the same travel time (again, not aided by any engine).

      • AND tie wraps - that's the trinity

    • by Ambvai (1106941)
      Sadly enough, I read that as [i]trowel[/i] on my first pass and found it a surprisingly interesting statement. Compact, can be used to dig a hole for shelter, a sharpened edge can be used as a knife, build a dam, uproot plants for transit, go gardening... then I saw the response and it turned out to be nothing more than a Hitchhiker's reference. Sigh.
    • Gore-Tex ponchos for all!
  • The 4th one reminds me of something from a Red Hot Chilli Peppers video
  • Homeless people get robbed if they have anything valuable or as useful as a sleeping bag.

    (Also, the one in the main cover image (images 7/10/11 in the gallery) is clearly just taking the piss.)

    • by couchslug (175151)

      "Homeless people get robbed if they have anything valuable or as useful as a sleeping bag."

      The first tool to "wear" when you start moving away from a disaster is your legal concealed firearm (which you have PRACTICED with and are proficient in handling).

      Bug out defense can be advanced:

      One vet I know has a short-but-legal AR-15 with a folding buttstock (not retracting, folding) that fits nicely in a standard small backpack. Of course he has a pistol handy because CHUDs won't give you time to free your rifle,

      • The first tool to "wear" when you start moving away from a disaster is your legal concealed firearm (which you have PRACTICED with and are proficient in handling).

        Way to rub it in, asshole. Some of us can't afford the luxury of residing in the bible belt, appalachia, or some other shithole where "legal concealed firearm" isn't an oxymoron. And I say this as an owner of several firearms, a few of which could be (and would be) carried concealed if the legal climate in the developed states wasn't so fucking unconstitutional.

        because CHUDs

        LOL.

        • by jafiwam (310805)

          The first tool to "wear" when you start moving away from a disaster is your legal concealed firearm (which you have PRACTICED with and are proficient in handling).

          Way to rub it in, asshole. Some of us can't afford the luxury of residing in the bible belt, appalachia, or some other shithole where "legal concealed firearm" isn't an oxymoron. And I say this as an owner of several firearms, a few of which could be (and would be) carried concealed if the legal climate in the developed states wasn't so fucking unconstitutional.

          because CHUDs

          LOL.

          Move? Or, stop voting for the idiots that don't let you carry? Carry anyway?

          • >Move?

            What states allow concealed-carry, but don't have conservative christians imposing, or trying to impose their superstitions on kids at school? Illinois is a possibility as long as you avoid southern Illinois, but I'd wait a couple of years to see of the new concealed carry laws hold up.

            >Or, stop voting for the idiots that don't let you carry?

            Not a bad plan, unless their opponents have larger issues, which is often the case.

            >Carry anyway?

            Really terrible idea, unless you're tryi
          • Move? Perhaps I wasn't clear when I said "some of us can't afford the luxury of residing in..."

            Moving costs money. Living somewhere that lacks tech jobs costs opportunity. Being surrounded by rednecks, hicks, and the Jesus fan club costs sanity.

            Also, I don't see how not voting in elections would bring about legal concealed carry. In case that last sentence went over your head, I'm implying that the only ones on the ballot are the idiots that don't let you carry. Despite voting for write-ins for the last
            • by stoploss (2842505)

              Move? Perhaps I wasn't clear when I said "some of us can't afford the luxury of residing in..."

              Oh, please. Don't couch this as a need, when it's clearly just the integrated outcome of your decisions to stay in (what I infer to be) "...god damn New Jersey".

              I know for a fact that I would literally turn down $500k/year in salary if the job required me to live in NJ (or any of those other godforsaken liberal hellhole states). I would be much happier even if I could only make a tenth of that while living in relative freedom.

              So, I believe that when you define moving to live in freedom as impossible, you mu

              • by cas2000 (148703)

                I know for a fact that I would literally turn down $500k/year in salary if the job required me to live in NJ (or any of those other godforsaken liberal hellhole states).

                thank you for providing a perfect example that gun nuts are fucking stupid in a general sense as well as in the childish fantasy make-believe sense of "i need my gun to protect myself from da gubmint".

                making $500K/year in a liberal western democracy isn't exactly an onerous hardship. you're not at risk of being dragged off to the gulags for

                • by Svenia (3001819)
                  I'm just curious, and you don't have to answer this if you don't want to (obviously), but which country do you reside in? I'm mostly asking this because I've always felt the US was a little too... American? for me.. but I don't have enough worldly experience to really be able to judge where might be more to my tastes. So I'm curious of this liberal place you describe, and perhaps one day I can visit it. (I'm not trying to troll or start an Anti/Pro US flame-war, I'm genuinely curious.)
                • by stoploss (2842505)

                  See, you completely misunderstood and decided to knee-jerk.

                  The reason I don't want to live in a liberal hell-hole is that it's populated with your ilk. It's not about gun rights; that is merely a bellwether that approximates to a first-order whether the culture of the area is rife with people who are constitutionally incapable of minding their own business.

                  By all means, please keep yourself and people like you away from the remaining nice places to live. Your kind flees what your policies have wrought, wher

            • Being surrounded by rednecks, hicks, and the Jesus fan club costs sanity.

              Nothing like sheltered Yankees with no clue about life outside the beltway that they didn't learn from reruns of the Beverly Hillbillys. AMIRITE?

      • RTFA, most of these were intended for existing homeless people in cities, or for temporary mass refugees. Not paranoid survivalist teotwawki gun nuts who presumably can just buy a regular sleeping bag and/or bivy.

      • by g0bshiTe (596213) on Monday August 05, 2013 @02:49PM (#44480123)
        Or better yet a blue tarp, multifunction at it's finest, fold your gear into it and it's a makeshift Yukon pack http://kayakdave.com/2012/09/13/how-to-build-a-yukon-portage-pack/ [kayakdave.com] it also doubles as a makeshift tent at night or in rain.

        Part of surviving something like that is too look like you have nothing. Someone with a ragged tarp looking backpack may be less of a target than someone toting a North Face backpack.

        This guy http://i825.photobucket.com/albums/zz179/556mp/IMG_3213.jpg [photobucket.com] probably stands a better chance of not getting robbed as opposed to this guy http://attractions.uptake.com/blog/files/2009/06/camping-backpack.jpg [uptake.com] who you can clearly see has a nice toasty warm sleeping bag and even a foam sleeping pad.
      • by drinkypoo (153816)

        The first tool to "wear" when you start moving away from a disaster is your legal concealed firearm (which you have PRACTICED with and are proficient in handling).

        Illegal in many states, and illegal or effectively illegal in most states.

        One vet I know has a short-but-legal AR-15 with a folding buttstock (not retracting, folding) that fits nicely in a standard small backpack.

        Illegal virtually everywhere, if you actually carry it in the backpack anyway.

        No need for anything special though. At least four pairs of good socks, broken-in hiking boots, and a poncho should do for temperate weather.

        Emergency blankets and butane lighters, and a knife, in addition to your large environment-colored waterproof poncho. Exposure kills surprisingly many people.

  • Bivy sacks those are not.

  • Are you a turtle?
  • Similar terms, but they do not mean the same thing.

  • -1 Annoying (Score:5, Informative)

    by pspahn (1175617) on Monday August 05, 2013 @01:47PM (#44479595)

    Main reason I often don't read TFA? Because of trash sites like the one linked in TFS.

    Anything where normal parts of the article are disguised as ads (or vice versa) is an immediate bounce for me. Present your content like a responsible adult and people might read.

  • Ok, I looked it over and am not impressed.

    A hammock and a plastic tarp stuffed into a jacket pocket is not a bad solution.

  • Nobody will know it's me falling asleep on my keyboard.

  • And this one comes complete with a tin foil brain protection system, and the tin foil is completely inspectable and replaceable by you, the whackjob^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hintelligent purchaser of portable habitats.

  • Apocalypse? (Score:4, Funny)

    by Kozar_The_Malignant (738483) on Monday August 05, 2013 @02:17PM (#44479839)
    How can they handle the apocalypse when they can't even handle being Slashdotted?
  • by jellomizer (103300) on Monday August 05, 2013 @02:22PM (#44479885)

    This Apocalypse stuff is really starting to annoy me. If civilization falls, it will be gradual. And we won't go back to the stone age.
    Why because we know how to not live in the stone age.

    We know about metals and melting ore to to create them. We know about magnets and how they can be used to generate electricity or using electricity to create maniacal energy. We understand that silicon has a semi-conductive state and how to arrange semi-conductors into not gates and not gates into And and Or gates and further on to a computer.

    As a group of people we know a lot of stuff. and will not live like in a stone age. Short term we may be living in camps. But we would have a lot of things to help out.

    • by CanHasDIY (1672858) on Monday August 05, 2013 @03:22PM (#44480381) Homepage Journal

      This Apocalypse stuff is really starting to annoy me.

      That I agree with, but remember, this is marketing hype. "Apocalypse" is trending pretty high right now, so it's one of the buzzwords that's en vogue. Next week it might be "Green," oh wait that was last week; thus is the mercurial nature of advertising.

      Long story short, "Wearable Apocalypse Shelter" probably generates a lot more impressions than "Stupid Art Projects That Emulate Clothing"

      If civilization falls, it will be gradual.

      Depends on what causes the fall; an asteroid strike, fast-moving plague that wipes out 3/4 - 2/3 of the human populace, or all-out nuclear holocaust would tear down what humanity has built in a hurry. Hell, some anomalous event that completely wipes out all digitally-stored information, but doesn't touch infrastructure, would be pretty devastating to modern society.

      We know about metals and melting ore to to create them. We know about magnets and how they can be used to generate electricity or using electricity to create maniacal energy. We understand that silicon has a semi-conductive state and how to arrange semi-conductors into not gates and not gates into And and Or gates and further on to a computer.

      Collectively, perhaps that's true. And, presuming our civilization has a long fall that does not include destruction of knowledge (which, as any student of history can tell you, never happens; consider the Library of Alexandria, for example, which was believed to have contained the sum of human knowledge up to that point in history - burned by invading armies).

      However, there are some issues. First, we should presume that any information that is stored in a purely digital format (i.e., no hard-copies, or so few hard-copies that spreading the knowledge across a vast geographic area quickly without electronic transmission would be nigh impossible) would be lost completely. Second, we should also consider that it's likely a majority of survivors would either A) not understand much of the material, and thus consider it to be more useful as fuel than as knowledge, or B) be too busy just staying alive to care how things like semi-conductors, which would not be essential to daily life, work. So, aside from the 0-day loss of all digital-only information, you'd also see a steady decrease in the amount of material available due to human nature (and, let's face it, general stupidity).

      Plus, presuming the need to completely rebuild civilization from the ground up, computers are one of the last items to consider in terms of importance. So, while falling all the way back to the actual Stone Age is pretty unlikely, considering, it's not too far fetched to imagine the post-apocalyptic future as a modified reboot of the Iron Age.

    • This isnt true. Check out this study:

      http://tuvalu.santafe.edu/~bowles/PopulationSize.pdf [santafe.edu]

      If the population shrinks enough, ie massive plague or apocalyptic type stuff, technology will regress, even to a stone age like state.
    • by evilviper (135110)

      We know about metals and melting ore to to create them

      A tiny fraction of the human population would recognize iron ore if it bit them on the ass. Fewer still have any idea how to turn it into steel.

      We know about magnets and how they can be used to generate electricity or using electricity to create maniacal [sic] energy.

      Most people know that electricity exists, in about the same way they know men have walked on the moon. Ask them to make it happen, though, and they'll be dumbfounded. Maybe a not-tiny per

    • by delt0r (999393)
      I have a few simple goals for the Zombie apocalypse. Since a real apocalypse they way people think of it as is about as realistic as zombies. It has a particular congruence.

      Goal 1. If i become a zombie, I wish to be patient zero. The Alpha Zombie if you will.
      Goal 2. If not i intend to be immune. No not that loser Legend but a real one.
      Turns out exposing myself to everything infectious is the way to go for both 1 and 2. Like a poor mans vaccination. And gives me a reason to call a lot of friends out on
  • Pointless story. (Score:4, Informative)

    by ttucker (2884057) on Monday August 05, 2013 @02:27PM (#44479939)
    It is a collection of ten photos of art projects, which are neither useful, nor available for any practical use. Sort of like showing an exotic concept car.
  • by couchslug (175151) on Monday August 05, 2013 @02:37PM (#44480017)

    It's not survival gear, it's silly jackoff "art" and it's not news for nerds and it doesn't fucking matter.

    Want to survive? Arm your mind, arm yourself (with a legal concealed weapon) and have a serious bugout bag and serious clothing (including BROKEN IN combat or hiking boots).

    • In the end of civilization as we know it you are really concerned for your concealed weapon to be legal?

      Do you remember mars attack? Would you want to bet who do you remember me from that film?

      By the way, good luck with your legal concealed weapon without ammunition (you didn't mentioned it, did you?)

      • by catprog (849688)

        In the end of civilization as we know it you are really concerned for your concealed weapon to be legal?

        Because you want your weapon on hand and to do that means carrying it during non end of civilization times.

    • by Anonymous Coward

      Want to survive? Arm your mind, arm yourself (with a legal concealed weapon) and have a serious bugout bag and serious clothing (including BROKEN IN combat or hiking boots).

      If you are in a position to execute such a strategy you must have no children, no pets, no worthwhile romantic or platonic relationships etc.

      I would rather live a fulfilling life now, while it is still possible, and accept my untimely demise with the comfort that I enjoyed life while it was enjoyable.

      Not interested in scraping through some post-apocalyptic existence, which no matter your preparation, is sure to be short and thoroughly un-enjoyable.

      • by khallow (566160)

        Not interested in scraping through some post-apocalyptic existence, which no matter your preparation, is sure to be short and thoroughly un-enjoyable.

        Just because you aren't, doesn't mean that everyone else shares your views. I must admit that I probably would find day to day life in such a world more fulfilling (where merely surviving helps future humanity in a big way).

        • by Valdrax (32670)

          I must admit that I probably would find day to day life in such a world more fulfilling (where merely surviving helps future humanity in a big way).

          Well, it certainly lowers the bar for meaningful participation, doesn't it?

          • by khallow (566160)

            Well, it certainly lowers the bar for meaningful participation, doesn't it?

            That's probably a part of the reason that apocalypse and disaster movies do well. For example, consider the occasional internet discussion about what one would do in a zombie apocalypse. I doubt many people actually want such disasters to befall mankind, but they do like the clarity (and sure, lower standards for meaningful participation) that such situations give.

            For example, the guy that is only good at killing zombies can be a valued, contributing member of society who saves humanity single-handedly r

      • by dlingman (1757250)

        Want to survive? Arm your mind, arm yourself (with a legal concealed weapon) and have a serious bugout bag and serious clothing (including BROKEN IN combat or hiking boots).

        If you are in a position to execute such a strategy you must have no children, no pets, no worthwhile romantic or platonic relationships etc.

        I would rather live a fulfilling life now, while it is still possible, and accept my untimely demise with the comfort that I enjoyed life while it was enjoyable.

        Not interested in scraping through some post-apocalyptic existence, which no matter your preparation, is sure to be short and thoroughly un-enjoyable.

        Ummm - This is slashdot. You've just described 90+% of the readership.

      • by couchslug (175151)

        "If you are in a position to execute such a strategy you must have no children, no pets, no worthwhile romantic or platonic relationships etc."

        My late wife was more than competent to "execute such a strategy" and my dogs are portable.

        If you have dependants you'll may be forced to execute that strategy with them in tow! Gear is cheap enough and if you go camping now and then you'll get good fun out of it too. A side effect of going camping is you and yours can be comfortable in nature. It's peaceful and fun.

    • by delt0r (999393)
      Sooo.... Where are you going to get all those bullets for that gun in an Apocalypse?
  • by mt1955 (698912) <mt1955@@@gmail...com> on Monday August 05, 2013 @02:51PM (#44480143) Homepage Journal

    ... at the next Occupy Movement sit-in with my new Ecouterre wearable habitat!

  • Stuff that matters
  • "The Vessel" looked good and seemed useful (I'd actually buy it), and the "JakPak" and "Refugewear" seemed useful, even though they look like crap. The rest were pretty lame, though.
  • And lo, out of the four corners came a misting of water that fell on all the sons of Abraham.
    And the iniquitous were chilled slightly by it, and proclaimed their shame...
    The children of the lamb were sheltered by their light clothing.

  • Everyone PANIC! (Score:4, Informative)

    by dkleinsc (563838) on Monday August 05, 2013 @03:43PM (#44480533) Homepage

    In the case of a cataclysmic event that could displace thousands, if not millions, of people, the availability of emergency shelter becomes a pressing concern.

    The things that will actually make a difference in your ability to survive a cataclysmic event have very little to do with simple products you can buy. Some things that will make a huge difference:
    - How much warning you get: The more time you have, the more survivable the mess is.
    - Your willingness to believe the warning: If you don't believe it (not uncommon at all), you won't react in time to do anything useful.
    - Whether you have the resources to get to somewhere else in between the warning and the actual cataclysm: If you don't have anywhere to go, don't have a car, etc, then leaving is much more difficult.
    - Your willingness to lose most of your stuff: Many people have died going for their valuables rather than going to a safer place.
    - Whether you have any chronic medical conditions: A lot of deaths in disaster areas are people not getting the medication they need to treat chronic illness.
    - Your age: Elderly and young children will get the worst of it.
    - Your physical fitness: If you're hale and hardy, you can consider options like loading up everything you need in a backpack and walking out of the disaster area. If you're morbidly obese, you can't.

    Basically, the standard strategy for dealing with a serious but localized disaster is (1) Try to get everyone out of there before it strikes. (2) After it strikes, bring as many supplies into the area as you can while getting as many people out of the area as you can as quickly as possible. (3) As the people are leaving, start fixing the underlying problems to the degree possible. (4) As the disaster area recovers, people start trickling back in.

  • by Irate Engineer (2814313) on Monday August 05, 2013 @03:44PM (#44480545)
    Frilly cover over a miniskirt and heels for the Apocalypse? About as good as a wrapper on a hamburger, and will probably serve the same purpose.

    I would envision something like a space suit, with chain mail over Kevlar to resist bladed weapon puctures and bullets. It would not need to be airtight, but would allow a slight overpressure for nuclear/biological/chemical survival, something like armored firefighter turnout gear with SCBA, with an armored helmet with facemask.

    Accessorize with melee weapons and big guns...ouila! The fashion statement of the Apocalypse.
    • by jago25_98 (566531)

      Amen, the photos had me in stitches that's for sure :D

    • by Valdrax (32670) on Monday August 05, 2013 @05:05PM (#44481301)

      I would envision something like a space suit, with chain mail over Kevlar to resist bladed weapon puctures and bullets. It would not need to be airtight, but would allow a slight overpressure for nuclear/biological/chemical survival, something like armored firefighter turnout gear with SCBA, with an armored helmet with facemask.

      Accessorize with melee weapons and big guns...ouila! The fashion statement of the Apocalypse.

      Spoken like someone who has never hiked long distance. Weight is your enemy.

      You are no better than the fashionista, proposing something so utterly impractical yet "cool" looking.

      • by drinkypoo (153816)

        They just forgot to mention the baby tokamak power source, and the actuators... yep, they've been playin' too much Fallout, and they're planning for Powered Armor.

        Problem with Powered Armor is maintaining a charge. You will never again think it's a cool idea for disaster relief, or even war, if you read Steakley's Armor.

        • by iggymanz (596061)

          just make powered armor that runs on biufuel, specifically the blubber of your 300+ lbs. fellow americans. 15kW (20 horsepower!) for 1,000 seconds on a pound of fat!

    • I would envision something like a space suit, with chain mail over Kevlar to resist bladed weapon puctures and bullets. It would not need to be airtight, but would allow a slight overpressure for nuclear/biological/chemical survival, something like armored firefighter turnout gear with SCBA, with an armored helmet with facemask.

      Interesting, so your Fallout character hasn't gotten Power Armor MK2 yet? Back in reality, this seems like something that would really slow you down when you're trying to vacate wh

  • by Jawnn (445279)
    Somebody thinks they've "invented", the poncho, the parka, and the bivouac bag.
  • Neither of these are new. We've always had hurricanes and hot weather, going back before the industrial age..

  • Remember: this is a slashdot idle article -- and a collapsed one at that. You shouldn't be taking it too seriously. It's meant to amuse you not inform you.

    Rule 10: You take life too seriously.

    Rule 6: Remember: You're not getting out of it alive.

Power corrupts. And atomic power corrupts atomically.

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