I feel safer already.

This kid is obviously a leatherneck.

I do not think it means what you think it means.

This is just like every conversation I've ever had with my grandma about her computer.

The Waltzmaster 6000 doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever!

This department has worked 1 days without an accident.

The '80s, a time when MTV played videos, and only thing bigger than your dreams was your hair.

netbuzz writes "Comic creator Randall Monroe suggested in a recent xkcd strip that YouTube comments would be better — or, more precisely, less idiotic — if only those posting them were forced to hear their words read aloud first. Well, YouTube has gone and made this "audio preview" a reality, albeit an optional one. And, it's not the first time that xkcd has contributed to the betterment of the Internet, as those who are familiar with last year's "Internet census" and its use of a Hilbert curve may remember."

Suresh Joachim and Claudia Wavra say they have broken the world record for continuous movie watching, after seeing 57 films in 123 hours in a plexi-glass house in Times Square. A Guinness World Records spokesman says it appears the two have broken the movie-watching record but says it will take two weeks to officially verify. For the life of me I can't figure out why it would take two weeks to verify inactivity, but I'm sure the good people at Guinness have their reasons. Eight challengers started on Oct. 2 with "Iron Man," and 72 hours later, only Suresh and Claudia remained.

jemduff writes "So we receive our brand new firewall from CISCO and all goes well with the setup... until we try to upgrade our VPN client and we discovered that the installation CDs from CISCO contain 12 tracks of Mexican music!!? Not too bad if you're into that kind of music ... too bad if you need to get onto your corporate network. How much did those routers cost, again? 5,000,000 pesos?"

A couple in Cambodia who had "finally had enough" of each other have separated and cut their house in half. The wife will remain in the upright half of the house while her husband has dragged his half away to the other side of the village. Vorng Morn, the headman of Cheach village, said, "We tried to persuade them to think clearly before they did this because they had been married for nearly 40 years. But they did not listen." Don't these people know that you are supposed to draw a line down the middle of the house first? You can't skip to the cutting-things-in-half part right away.

Dost thou accept the $5 service fee?

You ever take it off any sweet jumps?

Eye contact is important.

It appears bad plumbing was the cause of wine flowing through taps in dozens of homes during an Italian grape festival, and not divine intervention. As part of the Marino Grape Festival, free wine flows from the main fountain in the town square. Due to a plumbing error, the pipes from the local vineyard which supply the marble fountain were switched to the domestic supply feeding homes. When local residents turned on their taps, out poured wine. I have a recurring dream that is very similar to this, but in this case the town was not subsequently attacked by a 50-foot Selma Hayek.

John and Ann Till, from Petersfield, in Hampshire, spent three months collecting recyclables to pay for their honeymoon flights. The couple earned one reward point, which they converted into BA air miles, for every four items they recycled. In the end, they amassed 36,000 miles. Mr Till, 31, a railways communications manager, said, "We wanted to make our honeymoon special and were trying to think of ways to raise money for it. I saw on the machine that you got a Tesco Clubcard point for every four items you put in. For every 250 points you got 600 British Airways miles. We worked out that it would be possible to turn rubbish into our flights — as long as we had enough."

I bet this kind of thing happens all the time when you work on the bomb squad.

Not everyone gets to be part of an ancient Chinese prophecy.

You'll notice his cigarette is completely dry.

A British school has gotten rid of spelling homework because students find it too "distressing" to learn lists. Headmistress Debbie Marklove says, "We have taken the decision to stop spelling as homework as it is felt that although children may learn them perfectly at home they are often unable to use them in their daily written work. Also many children find this activity unnecessarily distressing." If kids were able to get more words right at home with the parents than in the class room, it could lead to a sense of failure, she said. I wish this kind of thinking would extend into the workplace. I for one, find starting work at 8 a.m. too distressing and would like to start a few hours later but still leave at the same time.