Zoo Offers Erotic Tour For Valentines Day

If you happen to have a partner that craves the dulcet screech of baboon passion or the symphony of grunts only a herd of wildebeests practicing the carnal arts can compose, Binder Park Zoo in Battle Creek, Michigan is the place for you this Valentines Day. For $50, the zoo is offering their "Zoorotica" program to lovers. The tour runs from 2:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. and includes a special presentation and hors d'oeuvres. "We're going to talk about animal reproduction, the different animals here at Binder Park Zoo and their little quirks, different things that get them going to help them reproduce," said Jenny Parnett of Binder Park Zoo.

Apes in heat

[Vexar]

On one fateful visit to the San Diego Wild Animal Park, I caught a whiff of apes in heat, according to a thoughtful temporary sign posted outside the exhibit. An unruly stench beyond this rot does not exist among the living. It is only filth and the decomposition of tissue that can surpass it. Was this sights and sounds only, or was it a more saturating experience. Did anyone go? Oh wait. Nobody would admit to it.