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Iran Tries To Pacify Protesters With Lord of The Rings Marathon 419

Iranian state television's Channel Two is playing a Lord of the Rings marathon in an attempt to keep people inside watching hobbits and not protesting in the streets. Normally, people in Tehran are treated to one or two Hollywood movies a week, but with recent events the government hopes that sitting through a nine-hour trilogy will take the fight out of most of the protesters. Perhaps this was not the best choice in films if you want your people not to believe that "even the smallest person can change the course of the future."

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Iran Tries To Pacify Protesters With Lord of The Rings Marathon

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  • Drivel (Score:5, Funny)

    by oneirophrenos ( 1500619 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @01:30PM (#28468733)
    Bah, I didn't like those movies at all. If I was in Iran, I'd probably be so pissed off that they're showing me such garbage that I'd take to the streets and wreck at least a couple of cars.
    • Re:Drivel (Score:4, Interesting)

      by conspirator57 ( 1123519 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @01:39PM (#28468869)

      LoTR is allowed in Iran? I thought it was too secular, or blasphemous, or something.

      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by Loadmaster ( 720754 )

        If this movie doesn't work they'll have to give them the newest Hollywood movie: Bruno. That should fly well over there.

        • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

          by OnlineAlias ( 828288 )

          Iranian 1: "DEATH TO AMERICA!"
          Iranian 2: "Hey, they make the movies on Channel 2."
          Iranian 1:"Oh, wait..."

          • Re:Drivel (Score:5, Insightful)

            by osu-neko ( 2604 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @02:25PM (#28469609)

            Most Iranians love Americans, love Hollywood, etc. They just hate our government.

            In that respect, they're a lot like most Americans...

            • Re:Drivel (Score:5, Insightful)

              by eggnet ( 75425 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @02:51PM (#28470033)

              I think the Iranians hate their own government more than the US government, by a lot.

              • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

                I think most Americans hate the Iranian government more than theirs, by a lot. I know I do.

              • Re:Drivel (Score:5, Insightful)

                by rhennigan ( 833589 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @05:25PM (#28472677)
                Except many Iranians hold the US responsible, at least in part, for their many government problems they currently experience.
                • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

                  by magarity ( 164372 )

                  Except many Iranians hold the US responsible, at least in part, for their many government problems they currently experience

                  Iranians blam the USA for their own government? Let's make sure we have the sequence of events in order:

                  1: The Carter administration urges the Shah's government to NOT crack down on the fundamentalist uprising.
                  2: Fundamentalists overthrow the Shah without much opposition because the USA did NOT intervene.
                  3: Fast forward several decades to: Fundamentalist rule, many ti

            • Re:Drivel (Score:5, Interesting)

              by monsterinlaw ( 1560935 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @04:12PM (#28471307)

              Most Iranians love Americans, love Hollywood, etc. They just hate our government.

              In that respect, they're a lot like most Americans...

              Well, I am an Iranian and I'd say using the word "love" carries a bit of exaggeration. I think Americans are as cool and any other nationalities including Israelite. Actually, my best friends where I live are Americans, not because I love them but because we have common concerns. Also "hate" is exaggeration. I personally see Obama's administration a legitimate thing and his policies seem much wiser than Bush's. And AFAIK most educated Iranians agree with me on those things. In fact as someone else has put, I mostly hate my own governors than those of any other country.

      • How about Star Wars then....

      • I thought it was too secular

        Of the many words that could be used to describe Lord of the Rings, "secular" really isn't one of them.

      • No-one ever said that it was translated faithfully. Or, perhaps, it was translated to be full of "faith"...

      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        It's not secular- it's overtly Catholic. So you KNOW things are getting bad when the Mullahs would rather people watch 9 hours of myths inspired by Catholic theology than protest in the streets.

    • by Anonymous Coward

      Great choice, show everyone they need to stand up and fight against evil forces trying to gain power over everyone. Yes that'll really Pacify Protesters.

      Perhaps tomorrow they can show everyone George Orwell's 1984.

  • Hmmmm. (Score:5, Funny)

    by SatanicPuppy ( 611928 ) * <Satanicpuppy@@@gmail...com> on Thursday June 25, 2009 @01:31PM (#28468743) Journal

    Well, speaking for myself, I wanted to kill people on the exit from 2 out 3 of those movies, so this may not achieve the intended effect.

  • Wonderful! (Score:5, Funny)

    by voss ( 52565 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @01:32PM (#28468765)

    Lord of the rings in the original farsi! Can someone tape it for me?

  • by ZirbMonkey ( 999495 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @01:32PM (#28468767)

    Since beer is already off the list for Iranians, that leaves only one option.

  • I'd be pissed that the were only showing 9 hours instead of 14

  • by dilip ( 211779 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @01:33PM (#28468789)
    Maybe the Iranian censor board will be able to cut out anything unneeded and make the movies more compact and watchable. I love the movies, but they can induce numbness to the posterior if watched more than one at a time.
    • by Smivs ( 1197859 )

      I love the movies, but they can induce numbness to the posterior if watched more than one at a time.

      Yep ! I did all three ( extended versions no less ) in one day once, morning session - part 1, afternoon - part 2 and part 3 in the evening. Take a break after each disc and eat between the parts, with 'head-refreshments' along the way and it's do-able, if you're a sad nerd like me. Was it worth it? Hell, yes! A long day in middle earth is an experience never to be forgotten.

  • I suppose I could make some joke about how Soviet Russia fell because they tried to pacify the public with a Sergei Eisenstein marathon and a special once-in-a-lifetime uninterrupted screening of Dziga Vertov's Tchelovek Skinoapparatom. But what are we to do when totalitarians have access to high-quality Hollywood content!

    They've probably re-dubbed the movie in Farsi to make Sauron the good guy. This has happened before; when Mr. Smith Goes to Washington was screened in Eastern Europe, it was only in a du

  • Freedom! (Score:5, Funny)

    by mcvos ( 645701 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @01:35PM (#28468815)

    Where is my vo... Ooh! Legolas!

  • People will just turn this on, go bored out of their minds and start rioting the broadcast stations
  • Link (Score:2, Informative)

    by Slash.Poop ( 1088395 )
    What kind of link is that? It brings me to Salon.com's main page.
  • by pudge ( 3605 ) * Works for Slashdot <slashdotNO@SPAMpudge.net> on Thursday June 25, 2009 @01:39PM (#28468875) Homepage Journal

    "A day may come when the courage of men fails ... But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, men of ... Iran! Allahu Akbar!"

    • by geekoid ( 135745 )

      "Akbar"

      Wait, is it "Lord of the Rings", or "Star wars"?

    • by ajs ( 35943 ) <ajs AT ajs DOT com> on Thursday June 25, 2009 @02:09PM (#28469373) Homepage Journal

      They're probably redubbed that bit to:

      "The filthy British and American orcs have us pinned down with their green-hued protests, but we must rise up and smite them all, even if it means our deaths!"

    • Presumably the film(s) were formatted to fit their screen(s), compressed to run in the time allotted, and of course edited for content . I wonder if they paid Universal for a license to broadcast those films? I am betting that they probably did not. If so, Hollywood should file a lawsuit against Iran without delay for unauthorized public broadcast of a copyrighted film(s).
  • the RIAA on the Iranian government.
    Problem solved.
  • Wrong movie (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday June 25, 2009 @01:45PM (#28468975)

    They should have showed 300 instead.

  • the one (Score:2, Funny)

    by Timberfox ( 1537013 )
    one islamic regime to rule them all
  • by Garbad Ropedink ( 1542973 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @01:48PM (#28469027)

    So the tyrants of Iran are blaming this whole mess on the American media, then they're tying to placate the protesters with American media? A movie trilogy about a bunch of people banding together to overthrow an evil tyrant no less. Nobody could draw parallels between things like the dark riders and the police riding motorcycles beating people with clubs.

    The sense of irony is weak with the Iranian dictatorship...

  • Or else at mass when they get the host they'd all go "more Lamdas bread... *sigh*".
  • Bunch of meddlesome twats, right? Yeah, Iranian people. You get the comparison, right? Because nobody likes Gandalf, the same way nobody likes America!!!

    Heh. This is the most tone-deaf thing I've heard about since the operation to capture Saddam. Codename for that one? Red Dawn. What did they use as identifiers for Iraqi positions around Saddam? Wolverine 1, Wolverine 2, etc. If you're going to make allusions to movies, try not to pick one where you're comparing yourself to the Soviets.

  • One does not walk into Tehran.
  • by transporter_ii ( 986545 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @01:51PM (#28469087) Homepage

    After they saw how they lost sleeper cell after sleeper cell here in the US:

    http://www.theonion.com/content/news/after_5_years_in_u_s_terrorist [theonion.com]
    .
    .

  • From the Fine Slashdot Summary: "Perhaps this was not the best choice in films if you want your people not to believe that "even the smallest person can change the course of the future."

    Fortunately in the version edited for Iran and translated into Pharsi, the Hobbits are working to combat the idolators, and re-establish Sharia in Middle Earth.

  • Eagles? (Score:5, Funny)

    by Carl_Stawicki ( 1274996 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @01:54PM (#28469155)
    Maybe the Iranians can figure out why Frodo didn't just ride the eagles to Mt. Doom in the first place.
  • by galego ( 110613 ) <jsnsotheracct@[ ]il.com ['gma' in gap]> on Thursday June 25, 2009 @01:55PM (#28469159)

    their new hobbit overlord.

    Oh wait! That's North Korea ... my bad!

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by tnk1 ( 899206 )

      Excuse me. If you are referring to the Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il, you need to realize that he is the smartest, most clever and most physically fit.

      It's just that no one else seems to realize it.

  • by MiniMike ( 234881 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @02:10PM (#28469389)

    From what I've heard, most people voted for a Star Trek marathon, not LOTR. The Guardian Council denies anything is wrong with the vote count, despite the official count being 17 billion votes for LOTR vs -8 for Star Trek.

    I wonder if this is going to cause any trouble...

  • by spookymonster ( 238226 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @02:34PM (#28469757)

    That way, Frodo starts out near-death from exposure to the outside world, but ends up happy at home, blissfully ignorant of what's going on outside the shire, while his ancient and powerful Supreme Leader takes care of all that messy 'freedom' stuff....

  • by Cruel Angel ( 676514 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @02:42PM (#28469881)
    Braveheart?
  • by Wrath0fb0b ( 302444 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @03:10PM (#28470349)

    Perhaps this was not the best choice in films if you want your people not to believe that "even the smallest person can change the course of the future.

    On the other hand, it does reinforce the notion that brown people are a fallen race of brutes that are incapable of even the most basic language, let alone organized self-government. If the Iranians start believing that canard, then there goes the revolution.

    Then again, JRRT's solution is that a nice little white dude from England will come fix it up for you because he's so damned pure of spirit and incorruptible by evil (hah). Of course, he will bring with him some elves and dwarves (also white), a wizard with the surname "the white" and some other random white dude that claims the right to be King because his daddy was King and he has a nice looking sword (that apparently being a perfectly good reason to assert your right to absolute authority).

    Somehow, I don't think the Ayatollahs want that conclusion sinking in either.

  • Braveheart (Score:3, Funny)

    by Phoenix666 ( 184391 ) on Thursday June 25, 2009 @03:43PM (#28470781)

    is the only movie that would have pushed the irony meter higher.

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