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Brazilian Spider Bite May Become the Next Viagra 144

An anonymous reader writes "Scientists believe a spider could lead to a breakthrough in sexual health after finding a single bite can cause a four-hour erection. According to the report, researchers at the Medical College of Georgia believe the venom of the Brazilian wandering spider could lead to a new cure for erectile dysfunction. Dr Kenia Nunes, a physiologist at the college, said it works in a different way to Viagra. 'This is good because we know that some patients don't respond to the conventional therapy. This could be an optional treatment for them,' she said. Her study, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, involved experiments using hypertensive rats with severe erectile dysfunction."

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Brazilian Spider Bite May Become the Next Viagra

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  • 'This is good because we know that some patients don't respond to the conventional therapy. This could be an optional treatment for them,'

    A spider bite is considered conventional therapy? BTW, where does the spider need to bite them? If it's, um, 'south of the border' then I think this isn't going to be as profitable as they hope.

    • by mangu ( 126918 ) on Friday March 11, 2011 @04:12PM (#35457122)

      BTW, where does the spider need to bite them?

      I was bitten by a P. Nigriventer once in Brazil, I was walking through a lawn wearing flip-flops and it bit me in the toe. I think I was fortunate that it wasn't in the "armed" position, so the bite just glanced me and I didn't get the full poison load. I stepped on the spider to kill it and a biologist neighbor identified it for me.

      I had a painful toe for a few hours, but that was all.

      Can't say about the sex boost, since I was 16 at the time and a nearly continuous hard on is a fact of life at that age.

      The Nigriventer is so deadly because of the large amount of poison it can inject, up to 8 ml. I knew a family who lost a 4 year old soon to a bite. The spider was hidden in the child's shoe and bit him in the foot. A good practice in the country in Brazil is to shake boots and shoes before wearing them.
       

    • I may get whooshed on this, but I'm assuming you are not making some form of obtuse joke.

      The conventional therapy is Viagra (as mentioned in the previous sentence of the summary).

      Since the spider venom works in a different way than Viagra does, I'm assuming the point here is that a drug based on the spider venom might work on some patients that do not respond to Viagra. So if Viagra doesn't get Mr. Johnson ready for some action, ask your doctor if Spideyagra is right for you (insert list of possible side e

      • there is another treatment, as an alternative for those who do not respond well to oral PDE5 inhibitors such as Viagra, that involve hypodermic injection of drugs such as alprostadil into the base of the penis. Not impossible that the spider venom might be found to be best administered this way
      • There's a spidey-sense joke in there somewhere.
    • There IS an alternate cure for "erectile dysfunction".

      It mostly involves getting off your fat ass and exercising, while simultaneously avoiding deep fried foods and sugary drinks.

      I now return you to your regularly scheduled televised karaoke contest.

  • by arcite ( 661011 ) on Friday March 11, 2011 @03:55PM (#35456862)
    I better work on my cardio...
    • by thrillseeker ( 518224 ) on Friday March 11, 2011 @04:15PM (#35457162)
      Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
      a tale of a fateful trip.
      That started from a spider bite,
      aboard his tiny d....

      The mate was a mighty sailing man,
      but had troubles in his bilge.
      He went to get help that day,
      for a four hour score.
      a four hour score.

      The activity started getting rough,
      the tiny man was a hoss.
      If not for the courage of fearless {Ginger|Mary Ann},
      his minnow would be lost,
      his minnow would be lost.
  • Four hour erection? (Score:5, Informative)

    by areusche ( 1297613 ) on Friday March 11, 2011 @03:56PM (#35456876)
    That is by far the worst possible thing that can happen to any man. http://my.clevelandclinic.org/disorders/priapism/hic_priapism.aspx [clevelandclinic.org]
    • by Anonymous Coward

      Interesting link. Since a black widow spider bite is a known cause of priapism, how the OP news?

      • could it possibly be because the other symptoms of black widow bite include "local pain, followed by localized or generalized severe muscle cramps, abdominal pain, weakness, and tremor. Large muscle groups (such as shoulder or back) are often affected, resulting in considerable pain. In severe cases, nausea, vomiting, fainting, dizziness, chest pain, and respiratory difficulties may follow." -- ehealthmedicine.com
        • could it possibly be because the other symptoms of black widow bite include "local pain, followed by localized or generalized severe muscle cramps, abdominal pain, weakness, and tremor. Large muscle groups (such as shoulder or back) are often affected, resulting in considerable pain. In severe cases, nausea, vomiting, fainting, dizziness, chest pain, and respiratory difficulties may follow." -- ehealthmedicine.com

          As crazy as people are, I'm sure that someone somewhere calls that "a Tuesday".

          Strat

          • I just realized that half the populace (of which only four frequent slashdot) would call that PMS
    • by alexo ( 9335 )

      Interesting article. In particular, I liked the following assertion:

      Other causes of priapism include:
      [...]
      * Illicit drug use, such as marijuana and cocaine

      I got curious and searched for priapism and marijuana on Google Scholar. The first link [hindawi.com] contains quotes such as:

      To date, no specific case of priapism and marijuana was found in the literature.

      Cute.

      • sounds like U.S. government propaganda such as "causing genetic defects, psychosis, reefer madness, loss of long term memory etc.etc.
        • You forgot the part about marijuana allow black men to ravish white women.

          google it you doubters.

          • while the truth is it makes people ravish potato chips, cookies and crackers. oh, the evil munchies, only the government can save you!
      • by CityZen ( 464761 )

        That's probably a result of poor editing. Perhaps a previous version merely said "Illicit drug use" (which is likely true, for the right values of "drug"), and later some editor expanded it (incorrectly inserting wrong values of "drug"), imagining that he was clearing things up.

      • by EdIII ( 1114411 )

        Actually my favorite was when they stated a patient should not try to treat the conditions themselves right after they described treatments that included surgical shunts and needles being inserted into your penis.

    • by Tablizer ( 95088 )

      That is by far the worst possible thing that can happen to any man: http....

      That's exactly how the very first Goatse link that victimized me started out.

    • That is by far the worst possible thing that can happen to any man.

      Or to the woman the man is with.

  • by wcrowe ( 94389 ) on Friday March 11, 2011 @03:58PM (#35456912)

    Couldn't resist.

  • by GodfatherofSoul ( 174979 ) on Friday March 11, 2011 @03:58PM (#35456920)

    Can't wait to see this origin story played out on the big screen!

    • by mkramer ( 25004 )

      Big screen? More like on a little, choppy, pixelated redtube flash app.

    • I hear they've already casted Ron Jeremy for the part.
    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      will he still shoot his spiderwebs from his palms?
      • by DedTV ( 1652495 )
        You can be sure there will be plenty of sticky, white goo flying around.
  • by NoobixCube ( 1133473 ) on Friday March 11, 2011 @03:58PM (#35456934) Journal

    I'll stick to my human horn, thanks.

  • Ok, how in the H*LL do you know that they rats are hypertensive and have erectile dysfunction?? I can just see the scientists..... I am going to stop, any sentence that involves scientists, rats, and fluff girls is just wrong.
  • by Anonymous Coward

    The catch is the $5000 per dose charge for the alkaloid that stops the infernal 4-hour erection.

    • by certron ( 57841 )

      It'll probably be covered by health insurance, even though birth control still typically won't be.

  • by Anonymous Coward

    Just put your penis in this box of spiders and thrust vigorously to activate! Not only will you last longer to please your partner, but the applicator will leave textured nubs where applied to further enhance pleasure!

  • In "Rant," there's a character who purposely gets bitten by spiders in order to get the proper erection. Life imitating art, again?

  • The Levitra commercials always say you're supposed to contact your physician immediately for erections lasting longer than 4 hours. And drugs.com [drugs.com] seems to agree:

    In the event of an erection that persists longer than 4 hours, the patient should seek immediate medical assistance. If priapism is not treated immediately, penile tissue damage and permanent loss of potency could result.

    • by CityZen ( 464761 )

      Must be something special about 4 hours. Less than or equal to is fine, but greater than is trouble!

  • Is it April 1 already?

    /em rushes to check his calendar

  • by WMD_88 ( 843388 ) <kjwolff8891@yahoo.com> on Friday March 11, 2011 @04:13PM (#35457136) Homepage Journal
    This spider was featured on "1000 Ways to Die." It bit a guy, he got a 4-hour erection, and then died during the obligatory sex. Perhaps this spider isn't so great after all....
  • by Ancantus ( 1926920 ) on Friday March 11, 2011 @04:17PM (#35457170) Homepage Journal

    From the article

    Phoneutria nigriventer, sometimes called Brazilian wandering spiders or banana spiders, are hairy and unsightly little creatures said to have some of the world’s most toxic venoms. Aside from four hours of supposed pleasure, the venom will also incapacitate a person’s muscle control, cause severe pain and trigger breathing problems. In some cases – if left untreated – it could lead to death

    I can hear the announcer now..."Side effects may include incapacitation or loss of muscle control, severe pain, breathing problems, and death."

    • by jamesh ( 87723 )

      I can hear the announcer now..."Side effects may include incapacitation or loss of muscle control, severe pain, breathing problems, and death."

      As long as it doesn't cause penile detachment, I think you'll find a lot of people would just take the chance :)

  • dizziness, temporary blindness, hallucinations, nausea, paralysis, vomiting, diarrhea (!)
  • Comment removed based on user account deletion
  • by Drakkenmensch ( 1255800 ) on Friday March 11, 2011 @04:33PM (#35457332)
    ... itch and irritation at the bite area, headaches, nausea, searing pain, complete paralysis, organ liquefaction, tissue necrosis, death and priapism. Spider venom is not for everyone. Consult your physician if you survive an erection more than 1 hour long.
    • by mysidia ( 191772 )

      On the plus side.... the medication is cheap. Just buy enough crates of bananas from various sources; you're almost certain to get a few of the spiders.

      Once you've got a few... treat your spiders well, and they'll last a lifetime, especially if you breed them, they'll probably live longer than you will, no more $20 per dose.

  • Being arachnophobic myself i have the perfect name "The Fuck!&$ Spider"
  • ... but studying the effects of its bite to perhaps create drugs for those that don't respond to normal therapy. I couldn't help but respond after reading all of these comments. I thought they were in jest at first, but now I'm convinced that they were serious responses.
  • No, just no (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Eightbitgnosis ( 1571875 ) on Friday March 11, 2011 @04:38PM (#35457396) Homepage
    Spider bites and my penis are two things that should never be combined
  • That's the closest you'll come to be a spiderman, of the adult movies of course.
  • because my better half is afraid of spiders. As soon as I pull one of those 8 legged creatures out I will be sleeping on my own.

  • Great, just what I need ...a glow in the dark erection, that also spits webs instead of.....well, I would rather not go into details...

    • by mangu ( 126918 )

      a glow in the dark erection, that also spits webs instead of...

      Well, it shoots a web that catches the girl and brings it to you.

      What good is a four hour erection otherwise?

  • Good to know they are working on the important stuff =/
  • I'm over 60 years old and, with the right woman, hell, even with Five-Finger Mary, could easily crank up a 4-hour boner, no blue pill required.

    WTF is wrong with men these days? Viagra et al are an effin giant industry. I must watch bad ads on TV and get spammed just because you guys can't get it up. For God's sake, get yourselves a goddam' spider so I don't have to listen to yet another "E.D." ad in the middle of Star Trek.

    "E.D"... - hah, makes me laugh! Bunch of pussies! And get offa my lawn!

    • I'm over 60 years old and, with the right woman, hell, even with Five-Finger Mary, could easily crank up a 4-hour boner, no blue pill required.

      WTF is wrong with men these days? Viagra et al are an effin giant industry. I must watch bad ads on TV and get spammed just because you guys can't get it up. For God's sake, get yourselves a goddam' spider so I don't have to listen to yet another "E.D." ad in the middle of Star Trek.

      "E.D"... - hah, makes me laugh! Bunch of pussies! And get offa my lawn!

      If I had to venture a guess, the vast majority of ED cases could be solved without drugs, by simply nailing a new, hotter chick.

  • Comment removed based on user account deletion
  • ... how appropriately named!

    Want a nice & hard banana? Just get stung by our patent pending banana spider!

    Also safe with poppers, for those of you who prefer your banana brown...

  • How much for just the spider?

  • How do you recognize this spider? It's the one with nine legs, of course.

  • ...because even the prospect of a 4-hour erection under the BEST of circumstances (i.e., in the presence of someone with whom I would like to exploit said erection, and who would also be thus inclined) isn't enough to let a spider bite me.

  • I, for one, welcome our new hyper-tensed, hyper-libidinous, ragingly erected, iron-manly rat overlords. Rat patriarchs walking around with pet spiders ought to be an interesting sight.
  • I've just been reading Richard Francis Burton's translation of the Arabian Nights. He just loved to talk about sex in the footnotes, and mentions that some cultures he encountered used insect bites to treat erectile dysfunction.

  • "Have you been bitten by a spider or are you happy to see me?"

  • This whole spider-bite-hard-on is explained in Episode 2 of "1000 ways to die" [skoften.net].

    For those interested: Episode 1 of "1000 Ways to Die" [skoften.net]

    and

    Episode 3 of "1000 Ways to die" [skoften.net]

The best defense against logic is ignorance.

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