Brazilian Spider Bite May Become the Next Viagra 144
An anonymous reader writes "Scientists believe a spider could lead to a breakthrough in sexual health after finding a single bite can cause a four-hour erection. According to the report, researchers at the Medical College of Georgia believe the venom of the Brazilian wandering spider could lead to a new cure for erectile dysfunction. Dr Kenia Nunes, a physiologist at the college, said it works in a different way to Viagra. 'This is good because we know that some patients don't respond to the conventional therapy. This could be an optional treatment for them,' she said. Her study, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, involved experiments using hypertensive rats with severe erectile dysfunction."
Where Is The Bite? (Score:2)
'This is good because we know that some patients don't respond to the conventional therapy. This could be an optional treatment for them,'
A spider bite is considered conventional therapy? BTW, where does the spider need to bite them? If it's, um, 'south of the border' then I think this isn't going to be as profitable as they hope.
I was bitten in the toe (Score:5, Informative)
BTW, where does the spider need to bite them?
I was bitten by a P. Nigriventer once in Brazil, I was walking through a lawn wearing flip-flops and it bit me in the toe. I think I was fortunate that it wasn't in the "armed" position, so the bite just glanced me and I didn't get the full poison load. I stepped on the spider to kill it and a biologist neighbor identified it for me.
I had a painful toe for a few hours, but that was all.
Can't say about the sex boost, since I was 16 at the time and a nearly continuous hard on is a fact of life at that age.
The Nigriventer is so deadly because of the large amount of poison it can inject, up to 8 ml. I knew a family who lost a 4 year old soon to a bite. The spider was hidden in the child's shoe and bit him in the foot. A good practice in the country in Brazil is to shake boots and shoes before wearing them.
Re:I was bitten in the toe (Score:4, Insightful)
A good practice in the country in Brazil is to shake boots and shoes before wearing them.
That's a good practice in *any* country.
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I'm getting wood just thinking about a spider biting me.
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I'm getting wood just thinking about a spider biting me.
So is that the placebo effect at work?
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Well, that depends on the climate. See, in Canada your chances of getting bitten by a small poisonous insect are pretty damn low.
And yes, I'll gladly rather take my chances with 6 months of potential frost bite over sneaky one bite and you die bugs.
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Only when Wisconsin Senators are trying to avoid a vote on a measure they don't like. /rimshot
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Let me introduce you to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown_recluse_spider#Bite [wikipedia.org] and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider_bite#Widow_spiders [wikipedia.org] both of which exist in some parts of Canada. However, I'd be much more worried about http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colorado_tick_fever [wikipedia.org] and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rocky_Mountain_spotted_fever [wikipedia.org] -- both of which affect ticks in some parts of Canada.
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And lawyers.
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You guys both have it wrong. You're supposed to KNOCK boots. Not shake them.
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Depends if you have a cat that likes to leave little gifts around the place.
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Re:I was bitten in the toe (Score:5, Funny)
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I may get whooshed on this, but I'm assuming you are not making some form of obtuse joke.
The conventional therapy is Viagra (as mentioned in the previous sentence of the summary).
Since the spider venom works in a different way than Viagra does, I'm assuming the point here is that a drug based on the spider venom might work on some patients that do not respond to Viagra. So if Viagra doesn't get Mr. Johnson ready for some action, ask your doctor if Spideyagra is right for you (insert list of possible side e
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There IS an alternate cure for "erectile dysfunction".
It mostly involves getting off your fat ass and exercising, while simultaneously avoiding deep fried foods and sugary drinks.
I now return you to your regularly scheduled televised karaoke contest.
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What the hell does breeding have to do with getting erections?
It's possible to become a father without ever having an erection.
On the flipside, most erections do not result in children*. Whatever your age, getting an erection is a precursor to some of the finest free entertainment known to mankind (and many other species too).
Also, thanks, but I'll take a limp dick over letting a spider bite me (and probably find some way to lay its nasty eggs in me, only to have them hatching and crawling out of my urethra in the tens of thousands later on).
May I recommend qualified psychiatric assistance?
* read that any way you like :)
4 hour erection? (Score:3)
Re:4 hour erection? (Score:5, Funny)
a tale of a fateful trip.
That started from a spider bite,
aboard his tiny d....
The mate was a mighty sailing man,
but had troubles in his bilge.
He went to get help that day,
for a four hour score.
a four hour score.
The activity started getting rough,
the tiny man was a hoss.
If not for the courage of fearless {Ginger|Mary Ann},
his minnow would be lost,
his minnow would be lost.
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Four hour erection? (Score:5, Informative)
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Interesting link. Since a black widow spider bite is a known cause of priapism, how the OP news?
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could it possibly be because the other symptoms of black widow bite include "local pain, followed by localized or generalized severe muscle cramps, abdominal pain, weakness, and tremor. Large muscle groups (such as shoulder or back) are often affected, resulting in considerable pain. In severe cases, nausea, vomiting, fainting, dizziness, chest pain, and respiratory difficulties may follow." -- ehealthmedicine.com
As crazy as people are, I'm sure that someone somewhere calls that "a Tuesday".
Strat
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FUD (Score:3)
Interesting article. In particular, I liked the following assertion:
I got curious and searched for priapism and marijuana on Google Scholar. The first link [hindawi.com] contains quotes such as:
Cute.
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google it you doubters.
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That's probably a result of poor editing. Perhaps a previous version merely said "Illicit drug use" (which is likely true, for the right values of "drug"), and later some editor expanded it (incorrectly inserting wrong values of "drug"), imagining that he was clearing things up.
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Actually my favorite was when they stated a patient should not try to treat the conditions themselves right after they described treatments that included surgical shunts and needles being inserted into your penis.
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That's exactly how the very first Goatse link that victimized me started out.
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That is by far the worst possible thing that can happen to any man.
Or to the woman the man is with.
Arachnophilia? (Score:4, Funny)
Couldn't resist.
This could make Spider-Man IV interesting... (Score:5, Funny)
Can't wait to see this origin story played out on the big screen!
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Big screen? More like on a little, choppy, pixelated redtube flash app.
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His wrists. Even I know that, and I've never read the comics and have only seen one of the films.
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Shooting webs is not one of Spiderman powers in the comics, that's an invention for the movies.
In the comics, spiderman is brilliant teenager who invents the compound and bracelets that do shoot the thing. The reason Spiderman push his middle and ring fingers to his palm is because the buttons are there, in the middle of his palms.
Dubious aprodisiac (Score:5, Funny)
I'll stick to my human horn, thanks.
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I'll stick to my human horn, thanks.
Lrrr, are you still taking Spanish Fry [wikipedia.org]?
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I think you're supposed to clean it afterwards.
hypertensive rats with severe erectile dysfunction (Score:3)
Re:hypertensive rats with severe erectile dysfunct (Score:4, Funny)
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Maybe they shoulda used naked pictures of Mickey instead?
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They wanted to, but Disney issued a C&D letter.
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That one certainly was.
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Standard mol biol procedures nowdays. Rats and mice can be manufactured with nearly any deffect you like as long as you know which gene you want "knocked out".
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Yes, it is wrong.
You can get genetically altered rat to end up with a wide ranging diseases and genetic issues.
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Or a big hit in the bible belt.
Only costs $5 per dose (Score:1)
The catch is the $5000 per dose charge for the alkaloid that stops the infernal 4-hour erection.
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It'll probably be covered by health insurance, even though birth control still typically won't be.
Simple! (Score:1)
Just put your penis in this box of spiders and thrust vigorously to activate! Not only will you last longer to please your partner, but the applicator will leave textured nubs where applied to further enhance pleasure!
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Reminds me of a palahniuk book (Score:2)
In "Rant," there's a character who purposely gets bitten by spiders in order to get the proper erection. Life imitating art, again?
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spiderman xxx - based on actual facts (Score:2)
Hmm... (Score:2)
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Must be something special about 4 hours. Less than or equal to is fine, but greater than is trouble!
April Fools! (Score:1)
Is it April 1 already?
1000 Ways to Die (Score:3)
Side Effects May Include... (Score:3)
From the article
Phoneutria nigriventer, sometimes called Brazilian wandering spiders or banana spiders, are hairy and unsightly little creatures said to have some of the world’s most toxic venoms. Aside from four hours of supposed pleasure, the venom will also incapacitate a person’s muscle control, cause severe pain and trigger breathing problems. In some cases – if left untreated – it could lead to death
I can hear the announcer now..."Side effects may include incapacitation or loss of muscle control, severe pain, breathing problems, and death."
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I can hear the announcer now..."Side effects may include incapacitation or loss of muscle control, severe pain, breathing problems, and death."
As long as it doesn't cause penile detachment, I think you'll find a lot of people would just take the chance :)
Side effects include (Score:1)
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Judging by your username, I don't think getting a boyfriend is a priority for you.
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It has nothing to do with porn. More to do with the fact that for us, a quick releases will do it.
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You may want to google "japanese robot sex toy".
Side effects include (Score:5, Funny)
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On the plus side.... the medication is cheap. Just buy enough crates of bananas from various sources; you're almost certain to get a few of the spiders.
Once you've got a few... treat your spiders well, and they'll last a lifetime, especially if you breed them, they'll probably live longer than you will, no more $20 per dose.
Perfect Name (Score:1)
They're not using the spider's bite as therapy... (Score:1)
No, just no (Score:3, Insightful)
Spiderman! (Score:1)
It won't work for me (Score:1)
because my better half is afraid of spiders. As soon as I pull one of those 8 legged creatures out I will be sleeping on my own.
radioactive boners (Score:2)
Great, just what I need ...a glow in the dark erection, that also spits webs instead of.....well, I would rather not go into details...
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a glow in the dark erection, that also spits webs instead of...
Well, it shoots a web that catches the girl and brings it to you.
What good is a four hour erection otherwise?
Great! (Score:1)
What's The Big Deal... (Score:2)
I'm over 60 years old and, with the right woman, hell, even with Five-Finger Mary, could easily crank up a 4-hour boner, no blue pill required.
WTF is wrong with men these days? Viagra et al are an effin giant industry. I must watch bad ads on TV and get spammed just because you guys can't get it up. For God's sake, get yourselves a goddam' spider so I don't have to listen to yet another "E.D." ad in the middle of Star Trek.
"E.D"... - hah, makes me laugh! Bunch of pussies! And get offa my lawn!
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I'm over 60 years old and, with the right woman, hell, even with Five-Finger Mary, could easily crank up a 4-hour boner, no blue pill required.
WTF is wrong with men these days? Viagra et al are an effin giant industry. I must watch bad ads on TV and get spammed just because you guys can't get it up. For God's sake, get yourselves a goddam' spider so I don't have to listen to yet another "E.D." ad in the middle of Star Trek.
"E.D"... - hah, makes me laugh! Bunch of pussies! And get offa my lawn!
If I had to venture a guess, the vast majority of ED cases could be solved without drugs, by simply nailing a new, hotter chick.
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Banana spiders... (Score:2)
Want a nice & hard banana? Just get stung by our patent pending banana spider!
Also safe with poppers, for those of you who prefer your banana brown...
Pills? (Score:2)
How much for just the spider?
How to recognize this spider (Score:2)
How do you recognize this spider? It's the one with nine legs, of course.
Wow...I must REALLY be afraid of spiders... (Score:2)
...because even the prospect of a 4-hour erection under the BEST of circumstances (i.e., in the presence of someone with whom I would like to exploit said erection, and who would also be thus inclined) isn't enough to let a spider bite me.
Well, then... (Score:2)
This isn't new (Score:2)
I've just been reading Richard Francis Burton's translation of the Arabian Nights. He just loved to talk about sex in the footnotes, and mentions that some cultures he encountered used insect bites to treat erectile dysfunction.
New tease line (Score:2)
"Have you been bitten by a spider or are you happy to see me?"
This can kill you (Score:2)
For those interested: Episode 1 of "1000 Ways to Die" [skoften.net]
and
Episode 3 of "1000 Ways to die" [skoften.net]
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I think the trick is in precisely controlling the dosage.